Have you ever realized that life is just waiting?

Waiting for your favorite artist to release a song
Waiting for them to have a concert
Waiting to buy tickets
Waiting for the day of the concert
Waiting in line
Waiting for it to start

You wait for your phone to blink with notification for likes, comments, and validations
You wait for a person to reply
You wait for a picture to load
You wait for a song to end

Waiting for the next trend
Waiting for the next thought you didn't think of
Waiting for the next serotonin dope

Waiting for








...

I realized my cat would only love me under two conditions
If I died
Or if I was feeding him
Preferable in that order

My Partner was like a book of beauty
Every word chosen carefully
Every punctuation in place
Every Saying etched in my heart

Courtney was like a magazine of beauty
Really hot cover,
Also interesting from behind,
and I just kinda looked at the pictures

My mom would accept me eventually,
but she would be rude when i started to do social “abnormal” activities

My dad and I don't talk.

Which I find kinda funny, because even though my sister is older and has more memories of the man, she doesn't think of him as a dad

I’ve always accepted him, when he made me laugh, when he took me to the movies, when he scolded me, when he even forgot me at  the mall, when he told me he loved me, when he made me cry, when he came home… when he didn’t

My dad doesn’t talk to me

I thought our relationship was built off love,
not the way I throw a ball or who I hangout with.
I thought our relationship was built off trust,
Not what I wear, who would I would marry

That man will always be my dad
But I’m no longer his son

I hate living, I hate being a cow
I see the farmer, Bob my “best pal”
As he sits right beside me, get the noose
Every morning he takes my ***** juice

I walk outside, your beauty I admit
I walk towards you, sadly you have no ****
I accidentally say this out loud, in my pure bliss,
You give me a wink and a kiss as you whip out your six foot *****

I have one window in my room
It’s the worst window you could ask for.
When you look out, all you see is ,my neighbor's house,
No green, No sun, No rain.

Oh but let me tell you, my bed is at a perfect angle where car lights passing by at midnight hit my face.
The window is right in front of where I practice.
Hours a day in front of a missed opportunity, lack of beauty, and a failure of potential.

I can't blame my window for ******* at its one job though
I’ve never noticed, but my room is boring in itself
White walls, white door, messy floor, messy mind

On my walls are scraps of paper lightly pushing me to be “better than yesterday” and to  “have fun when we practice”
The floor having a dozen books half read that I will eventually get to.
A desk with everything to do work with, like pencils, pens, rulers, and a giant framed picture that takes 80% of my work space.

I blame my window for having a horrible view
but my window is having the same issue looking back at me.