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Sep 6 · 182
Was it?
Andrea Sep 6
Was it necessary?

To call me in the middle of the day

To remind me what could’ve been if i stayed

To tell  me all the lies before we parted

To make me realize none if it was okay
Andrea Jan 30
It’s safe to assume that life would never go in your favor
And the years you’ve struggled seem to last forever
But on nights like tonight,
Where the moon and the stars shine the brightest
You stop, and for a minute, amidst the chaos and pain
Amongst the darkness and cold
You feel at peace, almost as if preparing yourself for what's to come.
And that minute is all you need,
A minute to breathe and take in the sights
The beauty of chaos and darkness,
The beauty of your story and your fight.
Jul 2022 · 135
Clean
Andrea Jul 2022
Life without the stains turn one pristine
yet I’d rather the comfort of dirt
than the blankness of clean
***** and stained it may be,
it has given me great memories.
Memories that may soon turn to ashes
as I burn the bridges and every
opportunity to your memory
Oct 2021 · 676
Can We?
Andrea Oct 2021
Can we go back?
To the butterflies and shy touches
To the drunk nights and soft kisses
To when you looked at me with stars
Instead of the darkness that clouds your eyes

Can we?
I wanna go back and feel the warmth of your hand in mine
while we walk in the cold of july
When you held me close and smiled

Now all that's left is the memory of bliss
As your distance grows while seated beside me
Laughter turns to uncomfortable silence that slowly engulfs my memory

You were gone before I knew it,
but can we?
Go back to the past
where I know you loved me.
Jun 2021 · 778
Cruel Hope
Andrea Jun 2021
We could’ve lived happily
but the after never followed
I thought we’d have eternity
but with it came the hollow

Your soft touch and warm hands
Sheltered me from the cold hold of my soul
But my darkness crept in
and swallowed us both whole

I wish I had more time
to savor the moments
of when you and I loved one another
and that had no consequences

But hope is cruel as it shattered me to pieces
my death was your bliss that left me defenseless
Decaying feelings being left to waste
There was nothing to salvage, not even your embrace
Jun 2021 · 257
Tethered
Andrea Jun 2021
Entwined in Nature
Soulmates to the touch
But hearts shatter
Drunk in love from the lust

Empty within
With nothing to offer
My body is yours
A shell solely for cover

Tethered till the end
Happiness a facade
All we do is bide the time
waiting for the end of the race
dying love letting go sadness despair
Jun 2021 · 430
I cannot write
Andrea Jun 2021
I cannot write
nor can I speak
My thoughts are empty
My feelings are weak

I’m but a void
that **** everything but time
Time still moves too fast
Too quick to fall in line

I’d want forever
but age won’t permit
So I’ll settle for eve
on nights that I submit

I long for the scythe
to take what was never mine
under the dark hood I loom
begging for it take the borrowed time
Dec 2020 · 215
The moon and the stars
Andrea Dec 2020
The moon and the stars
Stare at our figures
As we walk away.

Every Conversation, every scenario
Replaying before their eyes
As our love fades

Goodbyes were always
Meant to happen
But I love you and that will never change
Dec 2020 · 336
Hush
Andrea Dec 2020
Hush little baby you're only a child
You don't know how the world works
Sit down, let the adults talk, it'll only take a while

Hush little baby, don't talk like that
The spite from your mouth
Become forgotten artifacts

Hush little baby you're only 22,
You can vote, drink, work
But you can't talk to us too

Hush little baby you're
Our child, we love you enough
To **** you inside
Dec 2020 · 326
Alone
Andrea Dec 2020
The fear of loneliness
weighs heavily on my very existence.
The fear of being alone with my thoughts
Sends chills to my muscles and bones.
I don't want to be alone with them,
because I don't know where they'll take me.
They'll take me far away.
Far enough to get lost and never come back
Dec 2020 · 132
Timelapse
Andrea Dec 2020
When did it get like this?
When did the laughter and joy
Become unshed tears and dreaded days
When did time lapse and become one big date.
When did the excitement and love
Turn so cold and twisted recognition seem so late
And when did the story of us become a nightmare
Instead of a fabricated folk tale.
Sometimes
Dec 2020 · 179
Novelty
Andrea Dec 2020
I've lost my novelty
I'm no longer the shiny new toy that held your attention
I've lost your interest
I'm no longer that person

You let the sparks fly
And the ignition start
The fire in the pit
Put out in the dark

Now cigarettes are all I taste
Numbing it down with scotch
Tingling sensations
I try not to take it to heart
Dec 2020 · 177
Epiphany
Andrea Dec 2020
Take me under the waters and deep into the mountains
Leave me to wander this life I could’ve never imagined
The night sky glittering with stars and campfires lit so bright
Fresh cold air mixed with relief like the 4th of July.

Unshackled souls let free into the night
Walking farther away, the moon our only source of light.
With tingling lips and shaking hands that explore
the warmth of that you desperately adore

Safe and guarded in your arms I lay
But the sinister smile is something i could not face
As I lay in the pool of my own omission
realization dawn. My own poor decisions

Never to trust and never to follow
I lay in white walls and beds so shallow
I am but an epiphany of your dreams
Someone unspoken someone unseen
Nov 2020 · 200
Untitled
Andrea Nov 2020
Insecurities bottled up and buried within
Rises like bile on a sick Saturday evening.
Realization creeps  fast and thoughts
embeds itself into your brain.
A helpless cry for help

Untitled is what you are
No name, no face just a feeling
Just a dot in my head
Yet you get bigger and darker by the day
getting bigger until I'm untitled as well.
Oct 2020 · 98
Warmth
Andrea Oct 2020
Lay me down, without the tears
and I’ll tell you all about the sweet vinyls
the playing music coursing through the air
The warmth of your embrace enveloping well

Like Peter, to never age
Like Wendy, to never change
I’ll lay my soul, as restless it may be
in this very cabin, where you loved me.
Oct 2020 · 89
Visiting hours
Andrea Oct 2020
Reminiscing my youth has garnered regrets
And you were the light that took me from my deathbed.
You breathed me life and just like that I smiled
And then you left and I felt like an abandoned child.

I pushed until you fell of the edge
Until I couldn’t reach your hand
Until I was left alone and scared
Fear into anger and anger into bitterness.

I wish you had visiting hours
,a phone to call
Or even an address to write
So this time, I won't forget to say I love you
I'll say it twice.
Apr 2019 · 308
Nightmares are dreams too
Andrea Apr 2019
I lay awake at night, staring into the dark
I rest my eyes yet still cannot rest my heart
The thumping reaches my ears and my anxiety reigns
I check the watch and see I’ve stayed up again

If I sleep I dream of dread
But what I feel is all in my head
I sweat from the rush adrenaline
My veins littered with epinephrine

I pray to the heavenly bodies, the gods above
To end the nightmares I’ve been dreaming of
Not all dreams were meant to be chased
Some meant to be buried, burned and never faced.

I run to worlds and planets to seek asylum
Going insane from the pain until i finally turn numb
In Mars I felt the greatest joy
In Jupiter I fell and I, myself almost destroyed

The rings of Saturn turned out to be my solace
I skip Uranus to swim in the oceans of Neptune
And in all the planets I’ve been to
When I close my eyes, i dream of nightmares, i dream of you.
Apr 2019 · 205
The end
Andrea Apr 2019
The reminiscent mind that can't let go of the past,
still hangs and lingers to the memories of
half smiles and melancholic laughter.

A knife embedded to the back
red liquid seeping through
the pristine white shirt
Now stained with betrayal

Words hanging in the air
awkward stares
A relationship that can't be repaired
Feb 2019 · 242
Let's just break up
Andrea Feb 2019
I have standards you can't meet and
you have standards that I can't either
so let's stop fooling ourselves
and end this together
Jan 2019 · 247
Lilith
Andrea Jan 2019
Tell me how to feel or tell me how to lie
Instruct me and I'll follow the fear you live by
Cut me up and leave me open
Kiss my lips until they're swollen

Cement this hollow chest, harden my emotions
Punish the child within me, you've become my religion
Unwanted thoughts parallel to yours
We're meant to combust, let nature take its course

The toxic taste of your mouth has left me senseless
Bare and vulnerable you've left me defenseless
Fighting off my demons and yours
Your darkness sinking me, rotting my core
Jan 2019 · 277
Devil's sin
Andrea Jan 2019
A shot here
and another there.
I let it all control me
the warmth spreading well.

Then everything turned blurry,
my head spinning with emotion.
Your figure embedded in my mind,
I guess I found my devotion.

Your sweet succulent lips
silently pulling me in.
Numerous onlookers,
Your lips are my sin.

You're the drug
and I'm your victim.
Pull me closer
I'm helplessly addicted.
Jan 2019 · 743
A Forgotten I love you
Andrea Jan 2019
As nostalgia takes me
I go back to old memories
Of broken dreams and shattered realities
My future seems incredibly bleak.

It’s been months since we’ve parted
and to your farewell I couldn’t attend
I just couldn’t stomach the thought
of you being erased from existence.

But now i’ve dealt with things,
I want to say thank you..
For everything you’ve done for me but here's
A belated Goodbye, A forgotten I love you
Jan 2019 · 266
Little you
Andrea Jan 2019
Flowers bloom, trees grow
No one controls the fate of the universe
So why seek control?
seeking it like a thirsty child, desperate for water
Or an Ill begotten son desperate for a father.

When things spiral out of reach
You slowly descend with it,
The weight placed upon yourself tugging you down
Sinking you deeper
  Little you drowning in the ocean, Little you already forgotten.
Dec 2018 · 305
Talk is overrated
Andrea Dec 2018
No one listens, everybody talks
with voices overlapping each other
I get lost in thought
Talk is overrated, I just want to listen

So tell me your troubles,
tell me your woes
I'll listen intently
to your words that flow

Into my ears, whisper them to me
Cry out your eyes and I'll let you be
I'll hold you close until you're better
Till' you pick yourself up and run back to him
Dec 2018 · 414
I used to write
Andrea Dec 2018
I used to think I was good
Reality is I'm mediocre.
I used to have a light
and now, not even a flicker.
I used to just write it all down
and now I can't think of words to put on paper.
I used to consider myself poetic
and now I consider myself a liar.

— The End —