It started at zero
Positive, Positive and Positive
and Negative, Negative and Negative
Back to zero
Negative, Negative,
P̶̤͗o̷͚̊̚s̴͉̈i̴̗̥͌̓ț̶̨͋i̴̧̽͋v̷̨̤̌̿e̸̥͒,̴͚͍͒ ̴͚́̈P̵͎͕̔͂o̴̠̬̓ş̴̐́i̷͙͗͆ͅt̷͙͍̅͆i̴͎̔̅v̷̠̙̔è̶͇
Negative, Negative,
The needle finally breaks
Now it stuck at zero
Forever
Unable to think negative again,
And unable to think positive again
Is that a fair price?

It’s gone
Everything…
Feels like…
I can’t open my mouth
Without letting my tears flow
I have thousands of words ready
Yet I can’t say a single word

So close, yet so far
Somehow I regret it
Like… I’m here but my soul isn’t here
I don’t know, I don’t even feel sad
But somehow I know
I will cry for no reason

I don’t feel like I’m here
But I don’t want to go home
Is this… a void?
I’m still aware about everything
I’m aware that I’ve changed a lot
This will be better if I just face it alone

I’m afraid
This may be the last time
And my last impression is just silent
Happy music, Happy songs
Sunrise’s voice
Won’t pierce me anymore

Happy memories
Disappears one by one
Close friends
Drift apart one by one
It’s not them
It’s me

Unable to think of anything...
Unable to feel anything...
Unable to cry
Unable to smile

Like an empty shell
Yet still breathing
No light in the eyes
Yet the eyes are still wide open

What is the future?

If you ask a 5 year old kid,
He probably answers "The future is when I become a doctor"

If you ask a 12 year old teenager,
He probably answers "The future is when I enter high school"

If you ask a 18 year old college freshman,
He probably answers "The future is when I graduate and have a job"

If you ask a girl who madly in love with her boyfriend,
She probably answers "The future is when I get married"

If you ask a newly wed couple,
They probably answer "The future is when we have our kids"

If you ask a single mom,
She probably answers "The future is when I see my son marry"

If you ask someone with incurable disease,
He probably answers "The future is when I can be free of this disease"

So...
For you,
What is the future?

What exactly is future?
Is it tomorrow?
Is it next week?
Is it next year?

What is it exactly
The future that I always feared
I know what will I do tomorrow
But why it is so scared to think about "the future"?

There are boiled noodles
There are fried noodles
There are instant noodles
There are non-instant noodles
There is ramen
There is pasta
All of them can be tasty or not
Depend on the eaters

Poems are like noodles
There are so many kinds of poems
All of them can be good or bad
Depend on the readers

And I am hungry.

You said
That I am so selfish
Because I keep myself shut
From people who tried to help me

You said
That I am so selfish
Because I can't cry
In front of my best friends

You said
That I am so selfish
Because I keep my cheerful act
And hiding behind my mask

You don't know
How hard it is
To receive help
When I just want to rely on myself

You don't know
How hard it is
To cry in front of others
When I think crying is a weakness

You don't know
How hard it is
To not act as a cheerful girl
Because I have become one with the mask