lost in the static of the stars
searching for any bit of shine
maybe a twinkle, maybe a sparkle
anything that’ll stop the stagnancy

trapped and gasping for air
stuck taking in the atmosphere  
watching everything fade away
trying so hard just stay alive

surrendering all our should be’s
tearing cables until they break
leaving all those stars behind
forgetting all that glows between

trying not to cry -
while letting all hope die.

-

Manipulation, there's no prevention,
you know I keep coming back.
Keep pretending, you are helpless,
while you play with my heart.
My obsession is my profession,
I can't forget you, but I can lie.
It's all illusion, my confusion,
you are never gonna stop coming back.

I am so far from dreaming about
a cursed heart. That's how far away
is the star that will be
the last to go out.

The uncertainty of your words
hurts me - even more than thoughts
that are lost in a moment.
Drop by drop, melancholies collide,
freshly conceived, still purple.

I dream of your memories,
I recall sadness that died in silence.
Darkness curses my cry,
the entirety of the sky
finds a mirror in your mind.

I don't hear the sound of the wind
that brings me close to your scent,
your taste, in which I still find myself.

I curse the times in which
I sought salvation.
I agree with the promise that everyone
has their own shadow.

A part of the future will forever
remain at the bottom of tenderness.
The otherness of tomorrow
will only give a few tears
that are too blue.

I will find in you the longing for which
everyone still goes to sleep.
Where do you look for words
to find your thoughts?

Or maybe it's the lack of satisfaction
that makes us disappear
into the distance, fall apart?

You dont know loneliness
Until you've felt alone in the presence of someone you used to love
So close but you're out of my reach
This silent environment
Thick with quiet resentment
Nothing left to say
Only dead attempts to reason
Our dry eyes are indifferent
The lack of reaction is now common ground
Not like the tear soaked cheeks we once wore on the regular
Emotionless, hoping to go unnoticed
I try to stay motionless
Fragile egg shells shatter under the pressure of even the most cautious step
All efforts to remain undetected are futile
Against your shining spot light that illuminates my every mistake
Teetering on a tight rope
I stumble as every move made is met with criticism
This bond we once had
Turned into a rotten and bitter rivalry
Exhausted and mentally battered
Frequent arguments created this distance
I almost miss the passion of our bickering
Now it doesnt exist at all
Atleast we used to fight
Now we barely talk

I went looking
for my mother's grave;
it took me two weeks to find it,
and when I did, I was standing
on it; I actually looked around
to see if anyone else saw
what I had just done

You became the very thing
That drove your mother to madness

Today, I
put a full stop
at the end
of an on-going
poem,

the sad part was
that I thought it will
bleed beyond it,

but all it asked for
as a light mentioning
in pages,

I had to refuse
so I added another
full-stop..

Hear the whispers of the wind,
The rustling of the leaves,
As they dance on the branches,
The sweet chirping of the birds  
The gentle beat of the waves on the soft sand,
The silent cry of my soul,
I LOVE YOU
21/12/2024

In her gentle hands, I was held,
From her loving chambers, I came forth to dwell.
A woman, yet an ocean vast,
Filled with precious treasures that forever will last.

Vast and virtuous, she stands apart,
One of a kind, a loving heart.
She broods over her own with care,
Nurturing and guiding with a love beyond compare.

She provides, she supplies, and she loves unconditionally,
A blessing from God, a treasure to me.
Unspoken are the sacrifices she's made,
A true personality, in every way.

My guiding light, my shining star,
Forever in my heart, near and far.
She is the figure,
The personality I revere.

I try to understand what I'm feeling

While everything else moves freely

I am a prisoner of my mind

Without a key I'm blind
to the answers I must find

There’s a breezy wind
Down bridal path
Morning birds
Tweeting
Having a laugh.
Mr fox ambled by
With distain let
Out a sigh
On her branch
Mother hawk sat
Eyes her prey
A nice brown rat.
Rabbits and hares
Unregimented in
The field skittering
Around Without a care.
Roe deers appear
So aloof
Walk this bridal path
It happens that’s
the truth.

your mustache became your

mouth's permanent hibernation--

"Thus Spoke Zarathustra"

no more.

your brows fell down on your

cartoonishly crossed eyes, fighting

to get a last good look at you.

as if a cradle's starry

revolutions counted you out.

your snowed in smock neatly tucked

in for posterity.

your sister's doting hands trailing off.

to where that mare waited in a flurry of

blows--so it could saddle your mind.

I feel the power of your desire.
I understand the time
that never begins.
The wrong blood is flowing
in me, drowsiness brings
only sadness and resentment.

I slam my eyes shut
behind me, hiding in the light
of a day I've experienced
too soon.

I would like to see in you
my lost era, my eternity,
speaking in an unknown language.

Let me discover
the depths of your lost tear.
Melancholy beats in my heart,
torn from the embrace
of loneliness.

I do not want to associate
you with fertile longing.
I don't know a better past than you.

The chef will always
Praise the food he cooks.

Setbacks fuel the joy of accomplishment
Without effort and sacrifice
Gratitude couldn't exist
If life only provided wins
They would be taken for granted
In the absence of losses
Our growth depends on the balance of duality
Character is developed in adversity
Put the pieces of both sides together
To have a glimpse into the bigger picture
The warmth of light depends on the emptiness of the void
Darkness provides a space for rays to dance with illumination
All thoughts, emotions and experiences
supply us with essential lessons
Where wisdom and understanding
Can blossom into our becoming whole

I‘m a man they said

calm and composed
For when I speak knives come out
cutting the air on its way

For my lips are a whestone
sharpening the blade these words are
whenever I speak my heart

For pain I carry is the dark obsidian
forming the edge
where I would fall from

I beheld the delicate undulations of the water,
As it waltzed upon my likeness,
Sparkling and shimmering,

It writhed and swayed,
Warped and distorted,

Rendering my countenance
Into a ghastly specter

I did not embody

Levántate conmigo.
Nadie quisiera
como yo quedarse
sobre la almohada en que tus párpados
quieren cerrar el mundo para mí.
Allí también quisiera
dejar dormir mi sangre
rodeando tu dulzura.
Pero levántate,
tú, levántate,
pero conmigo levántate
y salgamos reunidos
a luchar cuerpo a cuerpo
contra las telarañas del malvado,
contra el sistema que reparte el hambre,
contra la organización de la miseria.
Vamos,
y tú, mi estrella, junto a mí,
recién nacida de mi propia arcilla,
ya habrás hallado el manantial que ocultas
y en medio del fuego estarás
junto a mí,
con tus ojos bravíos,
alzando mi bandera.

A runner turned around — in his old age
He still takes part in every race.
His life has shrunk to such a small stage,
Almost each fool a fool in place.

So simple it seems, this life's creation,
But all that's left is narrowness, nonsense, and dust.
For it's like lying in a state of comatose sensation,
In dreams, only misery and fear are just.


In Russian:

Бегун повёрнутый — под старость
Участвует в забегах он.
Вся жизнь скукожилась на малость.
Почти что каждый мудозвон

Такой простой. Творенья кроме,
Иное узость, чушь и прах,
Ведь так находишься как в коме,
А в сне убожество и страх.

5am,
snuffed between the fingers of the day
slumming stars and a night not fully broken,
the waking world, its petals still to open
is filled with silent promises unspoken

your presence lingers
not in grand gestures
but in the spaces in between

your smile filling my kitchen
with a warmth that remained
long after the coffee grew cold
and my cup was empty

the place still set for you,
as if you would walk in, sit down,
and make everything
feel a little more whole

the way we spoke on the subway
our words mingling like passengers
clinging to the rails
never quite ready to part ways

the way things look too clean…too still
not just your toothbrush
but the mess you made of my heart
gone

how lovely it was
to have your things scattered among mine
a forgotten sock
your glasses on the nightstand
a sign this space was ours
once

the scent of your shampoo hovers
an echo of you in the quiet
I breathe you in, eyes closed
wishing you were here
to wrap the night around us
turning off the world together
leaving only us
together in the stillness

Douce Maîtresse, touche,
Pour soulager mon mal,
Ma bouche de ta bouche
Plus rouge que coral ;
Que mon col soit pressé
De ton bras enlacé.

Puis, face dessus face,
Regarde-moi les yeux,
Afin que ton trait passe
En mon coeur soucieux,
Coeur qui ne vit sinon
D'Amour et de ton nom.

Je l'ai vu fier et brave,
Avant que ta beauté
Pour être son esclave
Du sein me l'eût ôté ;
Mais son mal lui plaît bien,
Pourvu qu'il meure tien.

Belle, par qui je donne
A mes yeux, tant d'émoi,
Baise-moi, ma mignonne,
Cent fois rebaise-moi :
Et quoi ? faut-il en vain
Languir dessus ton sein ?

Maîtresse, je n'ai garde
De vouloir t'éveiller.
Heureux quand je regarde
Tes beaux yeux sommeiller,
Heureux quand je les vois
Endormis dessus moi.

Veux-tu que je les baise
Afin de les ouvrir ?
Ha ! tu fais la mauvaise
Pour me faire mourir !
Je meurs entre tes bras,
Et s'il ne t'en chaut pas !

Ha ! ma chère ennemie,
Si tu veux m'apaiser,
Redonne-moi la vie
Par l'esprit d'un baiser.
Ha ! j'en sens la douceur
Couler jusques au coeur.

J'aime la douce rage
D'amour continuel
Quand d'un même courage
Le soin est mutuel.
Heureux sera le jour
Que je mourrai d'amour !

I‘ve looked at you for a long time;
Your wish to be extraordinary
Is that yours or mine?

Is it narcissistic tugging at my soul;
the world
Or do you make it whole?

I‘ve looked at you for a long time
Searched for your flaws
But I found mine

Love;
Why have you left some souls behind?
And is that your fault
Or is that mine?

I want to drown
In a serenity
That allows me
Just to be.

mind commits a crime:
renders the body unsafe;
the soul bares witness.

When we recognize the con
And it settles in our bones
Will we realize rights are gone
Or cast ourselves before the throne?
Will we see what’s wrong and right?
Mesmerized by gilded flair
I wonder - will we still fight
for our favored billionaire?

᠎

I wonder—
did the blossoms smell
your nose?