I am a Castle
my mind is my Keep
a stony facade
built from life's stones
of adversity, grief
a mental drawbridge
pulled up around
the inner fortress of my soul
When threatened I draw back my bow
take aim and fire
words are my arrows
each invisibly engraved
"Private - Keep Out!"
life is a beautiful mystery and wonder
full of dreams and miracles
a infinite sky above filled with possibilities
chaos exists here too
bad days will come but
they will go
just like a hurricane
it will pass
dark days will swallow
your heart in whole
but there is light somewhere
always to be found
it's okay to cry
it's okay to break
joy will pour in
your wounds like rain
if you can't find
hope around you
it is within you
to keep going
to keep moving
to keep growing
despite the scars
you're still holding on
become strong warriors
everything will be okay
i promise you
one day at a time
magnificent things are
blooming for you
it was lovely being a part of your life for a moment. i hope your heart gravitates to where it wants to be safely. so, i’m letting you go now. don’t come back to me with half-apologizes. you stopped talking to me without warning. i am not the reason behind your selfish decision; do not blame me. your guilt does not belong to me. you didn't deserve me. i was not meant for you. maybe, we were just simply a learning lesson for each other's lives. i hope you’ve learned this: don’t treat a girl like she is more ghost than woman. i’ve learned something too: i will not open up my soul to those who does not see the fire within me.
being a hopeless romantic is
a tragedy sometimes.
you’re aching for love.
it screams in your throat.
so, you search for it in
love movies, tv shows, music,
the sound of rain, cafés, couples
on the street holding hands walking
towards the sun, a stranger eating alone
in a coffee shop as they're
reading the odyssey, the way
how city lights burn in the dark
at 5am; you assume anyone that
you meet is your soulmate because
you both have similarities in whatever
makes your hearts burn with desire.
you’ve already imagined what
life would be like if they loved you
before you could tell them your name.
the moment you see that they’re not who
you dreamed of, you soon realize:
not everyone around you
has the heart to let love pour in
their blood like sunlight. not everyone
welcomes it into their bodies.
loneliness rises to the
surface of your chest like water.
you eventually break your own heart
because you thought that they
felt your passion start a fire in their soul.
you feel yourself collapsing into ruins,
yet this longing for love is addicting.
you’re always going to crave it, no
matter much it hurts to know
that some people will never love you back.
i chase love like a starving beast, wanting to catch it and bite into it. love is a messy thing, i know. i want love. i crave love. i need love. i can never be too full of it. i want to drown myself in it. it is a mess i don't mind creating.
heaven and hell exists in all of us. we carry light. we carry destruction. both sides are constantly trying to overlap one another, so i think that’s why we are always fighting for inner peace within ourselves. we have angels, and we have demons. nothing is ever silent.
everyday, my manger would ask me "is it sunny today?" i'd usually say "i guess so, it's partly cloudy." half dark, half light. he was referring to what was going on in my mind. some days, i'd tell him "it's cloudy today."
ever since she died, it has always be cloudy. ongoing clouds blooming — rising into a storm. storms are temporary, but this one is stuck in my head like a favorite song on repeat. i forgot what it is like to see the sun.
i'm trying my best to survive the rain.