you are not someone i can bury myself beneath.
you are someone i am meant to forget.
disappearing like dew in the morning,
you are not art, as much as i say you are.

somehow
all of a sudden
every dream
is about you

It sits heavy on my heart
Stirs up my stomach
Twists me into knots
And I hate it.

Putrifaction in my veins
Rotting away my soul
Tearing my confidence to shreds
Digging deeper, desperate to taint.

Shiny. New. Small. Wanted.
Everything I'm not.
Dependable doesn't beckon bedfellows
When the unknown waltzes by in satin and ***.

Monstrous. Ever-present. Bellowing.
Inescapable are the doubts and fears
The panging need to be seen and held
As I was way back when.

Assisting
Varieties
Of
Invalidation
Dancing
Around
Non
Compelling
Existence