I never meant to give you a I'll child
Yet you still walk in the opposite road
Not looking in his direction
What did he do to do
You break him heart
Everyday thinking he did wrong

I'm only 22
So why am I taking on everything
Day to day
Trying to make everyone smile
Hitting breaking point
I throw money,gifts love and hugs
Yet nothing fixed these wounds
Feel defeated once again
Where is the happy family I remember

10 years ago
I lost you
3 years waiting for you
Wishing I could help you
Watching you slowly fall apart
Blaming myself for not helping
Saying anything

Now you back
Years have past
Yet the blame is still deep
Why didn't I speak up
Even when he died, it
Didn't stop the blame
Or the pain,hate

Slowly coming to grips with everything
Yes my sister is back
But is she the same
No
So how do i look at you
And see a different person
Some days I see the old sister
My big sister
Some days I seem like the big sister
I love you sis
I'm sorry

100 thoughts

Running through my head
Killing me slowly
The past running back
Wishing there was a switch
Screaming from the inside
Hoping for a miracle
That these thoughts will vanish

I'm a fighter
I will not give in

With every breath it hurts
Knowing your not here
Holding on with a memory
That mean nothing anymore