what is is like to utterly despise your body?
to hate the mirror you are conditioned
to seek comfort in
and to compare your incapable mind
to those who are happy



I'll tell you the secret to complete contentment...
break the mirror and dig the pieces into your skin.

z.m.

**** the parts of me
that are still beating.
make me invisible;
so when I see your face
you won't be able to see mine.

z.m.

I'm used to one sided conversations...
trust me, they're lonely

z.m.

when I speak to you,
rummage through my
silent thoughts
and piece together
this fully formed consideration:

the notion of beauty
is an illusory fantasy
and realizing its reality
makes it an unrecognizable
nightmare.

I am that unrecognizable
nightmare.

z.m.

I want to free myself;
break away from
the feeling of your
hands touching me
and the echo of my
voice pleading you to

stop.

z.m.

if I could tell you,
my words would flood the floor
and drown out the sound
of both of our breaths

if that happened,
then there would be no one left
to hear us.

z.m.

a vast head of stars
millions of lightyears away
is enough to separate the
real you from me
allowing me to only view
you from a distance
and leave me to wonder
what it's really like
in that mind of yours

the feeling that we
are on different planets
is enough to show me that
the theory of you
is more difficult to understand
than I had been taught in school

...but that doesn't mean I won't try

z.m.