At night I'm filled with dread
morning comes and I refuse to leave my bed.
The world is crazy
but danger lives in my head.
I'm afraid of life,
but terrified of the thought of being dead.
This cycle of no peace
is really getting to me.
If my savoir can't help,
neither can this **** poetry.

I'm such a mess.
I'm no and I'm yes.

up and down.
nowhere but all around.

good and bad,
sometimes happy but mostly sad.

alive and dead.
there is so much madness in my head.

here I come and go,
ready or not,
get ready for a freak show!

Today I got a tattoo,
it reminded me of you.

It hurt like hell,
made me cry,
sadness swelled up in my right eye.

I like things that are bad for me I wonder why?

But it's very beautiful, so now I'm happy,
although at first the feeling was really ******.

I keep my feelings stored.
working on myself is a filthy chore.

I keep my truths hidden.
but who am I kidding?

you put me in timeout
now our love is forbidden.

I placed my ***** laundry,
with your pure linen.

Now you hate me,
will I ever be forgiven?

I let you go,
to only want you back.

I fell in love,
to only break your heart.

But I was the only one broken from the start.

I fed you sweet nothings,
to feel like I was really something.

Now I'm stuck with lonely tears,
from my own stinky onion.

I miss your presence,
but most of all I miss your loving.

I feel like Taylor Swift
I only fall in love
to break up.

I fell like Adele
broken hearted
damning my exes to hell.

I feel like Sam Smith
**** and alone
even in a relationship I don't belong.

I feel like Katy Perry
sometimes I wanna kiss a girl
or maybe, a man I'll marry!

I feel like a hopeless romantic
it makes me Lana Del Rey sick.

I'm a hot *** mess,
I'm Britney *****!

If these four walls could talk
they would tell secrets unknown.
my truth will be told
my cover blown.

If these four walls could see
they too would judge me.
I would be ostracized
they would contribute to my misery.

If these four walls could smell,
they would choke on the smoke that is my hell.
hell in my heart, I have little peace
besides a stranger loving me between the sheets.

If these four walls could touch,
I would not desire intimacy as much.
They could hold me and hug my weary soul,
for they would have empathy...

*and know that love is my only goal.