your expectation to me
is something impossible,
something willing to get hurt
to help you
against yourself,
too hard self,
too useless
to resisted
by the rest
of life.
then I left you to find
something comfortable
something not like you.
then,
after a long wait,
I finally found someone
who looked far away
from who you are.
the comfort of life,
the beatiful days
and all of a sudden
she left
me alone.
she said,
my expectation to her
is something
impossible.

My lady’s tears
I made them streamed down her cheek
What should I do to repay that?
Maybe I could make her stop crying
But what should I do to make her forget?
A promise is never enough, neither a hug?

Once I thought about leaving
Bringing away hopes of she stop crying
Maybe without me her life will be much easier
But I could not do that
Love asked me to stay with her

Some magical things happened in my life
Her forgiveness is among those things
Her tears are irreplacable
But being with her, I conviced that I can be a better man

Maybe in the beginning, heart was created with no door, no gaps.
We need a collision for the sake of the collision, until it can be opened.
Maybe that's why people say love comes with hurt.
And happiness is what is harvested from the tears that are spilled.

About you who wake up in the morning with a smile, maybe in the future you're going to cry.

Maybe the guy who are with you overnight it tanked heavily, then alcohol in his stomach gave a command to kiss you.

Maybe he started to not want to lose you; admirer.
Maybe you're just like the other admirers; admirable.

Maybe he probably just borrow your heart to bubbling up his anger on someone. So your smile can be simply wraps for a painful that cringe when it is felt.

Maybe you are simply a tool for him to train his agility in flattering.

Maybe you are an incident. Incidentally when his bed was empty.

Maybe you're a good girl, may also be too good.

Maybe your hug is comfort enough to **** his spare time.

Maybe he was tired of getting to know and be known again.

Maybe you're so beautiful in his eyes, but not in his heart.

Maybe he's never too old to live with someone, so he thinks, what he feels about you is just what he has to fear.

Maybe you're just skilled in making love, but not in loving him.

Maybe the fall of you is very simple for him, just as simple as he gave his lips to you, and also to the other.

In the end, maybe, you just don't have to expect more, than a minute of happiness you receive from him.

I saw tears.
I heard witnesses.
So I told her something like,
"It's okay, Darling. You can trust me later."

And then,
silence.


(z.h)

I walk in the middle of the night.
I walk to escape.
I walk so fast.
From somewhere to somewhere.
To be free.
To the right.

It’s not easy to carry on.
Everyday is a trap.
Too confused to look around.
What’s hope and what’s hole.
But I need to move on.
Far from someone who cares with no soul.
Free from the darkness.

I walk to the new chapter of life.
I’m so far from perfect.
Near from enemies.
And I don’t wanna give up.
Maybe I’m gonna die, but rest in peace is better than come back to the place of pain.

Keep moving forward to the light.
I’m walking to find a new one, a new me.
I don’t wanna live with lies.
I don’t wanna hurt myself anymore.
I don’t wanna get lost.
I have my trust.
I walk with tears.
I’m not okay but it’s okay.
Crying is stronger than giving up.
Carry on and carry on.
Someday I believe I will smile because I can see.
The beauty of peace.
Love is in me.

I walk into the future.
No way to surrender and no time to rest.
Sometimes I feel so sleepy.
Sometimes I feel strong to think too much.
But here I am to say that God is with me.
It doesn’t matter who’s try to stop me.
I will keep walking.
And I will never walk alone.
I walk for myself.
I hope for something real.

I walk to fall in love with myself.
Again.


(z.h)