when have such tendrils of terrors
had such a strong and everlasting grip?
for as i stretch there is not strain but
i feel the bruises of the past days
as they only remind me of
the places I can no longer go

the reach of the mares
horrify the ones that have no experience
no matter their years
will feel the way some fingers crunch
delicate bones may bleed strength
into those who run into the grasp of the lost

i have not thought in such a long time.
the arms of my mind have not since been feeling
such as the numbness that takes over my mind
only allowing for a lose for any of these around me
i don’t think i want to be such a black hole
hiding my misery only makes the depths
all that more eminent

i was not that sure what all the others see
but i know in my wholeness that i can only
use my own eyes for such a burdening task
they may not see my sadness,
but any and all calls for help will be veiled
sometimes thinly and sometimes
under such a thick swimming smile

the branches of hope at the back of many minds
may have been living for such a long time
that i no longer see them reaching for me
but reaching for others as i lose my will
to be able to notice their bodies
and their angles within such an effortless and unforgiving planet
their grasp will not be lost to them no matter the meaning to me

The voices I hear
grow stronger and stronger
they say one thing but it isn't quite clear
I try to listen to hear their whispers
but still no clarity non at all

I've been a lot of things in this world;
Taken for granted, the one that got away,
the achiever daughter, the sympathetic friend.

I've been complimented a dozen times, and probably have been criticized double.

I've felt emotions, both raw and silly.
I've felt the sadness of failure and the joys of success.
Cried tears for things sometimes deep, other times petty.
I've felt love, both real and conditional.
I've been hurt, accidentally and otherwise.

But I'm still a lot of things in this world.
You are too.
Not one thing can stop you;
from being the best version of you, for you.

From darkness, they rise.
Cracking her beliefs.
Shattering her being.

Tormenting her,
Turning her existence
into a living agony.
 
Every night, they come visit,
Play games with her head.
Amusement to them,
A torture for her.

Relishing their wicked reign,
Of horrors and pain.
For her, she wants to die,
Or at least, run and hide.

Hide away from them,
From the evil inside of her.
There was where they were.

Going back to
their heinous lair,
When the morning
light shines bright.


And they await
in the shadows,
To come out,
and play again at night.

I thought I was okay.
I thought I was getting better,
finally getting over you.
But then there was a night that came;
I saw your face this time.
You were standing there,
as stunning as could be.
As much as I thought I didn’t want you to turn and look at me,
my heart pleaded for your attention,
even for a brief second.
Things happened that night;
not between you and I,
nor between the sun and the sky.
It was another love of mine.
Everything was shattering and it was my mistake.
It was deteriorating,
breaking at the roots.
But you were there,
and my heart skipped a beat.
I tried to pass it off,
but my heart wouldn’t budge.
That night I came to a realization:
I won’t be over you anytime soon.

- kmh

I'd rather drown a hundred times than let my heart go free
Because I can't hear your horrid voice at the bottom of the sea
And you've ruined every chance of love
So I pulled when I was supposed to shove

You don't know how it feels to love so blindly
All trust enveloped into another soul
Only to have them crush your hopes and dreams with one fatal blow  
Breaking down, slowly
I decay with the rest
A dusty box of your old shirts
I could barely bring myself to collect
But I'm the one crying myself dry
I'm the one fighting to keep myself alive
I didn't sleep, I couldn't eat,
Not a single soul could help me.
I can't trust others
I barely trust myself
So at the end of the day
It's me, myself, and nobody else.

Falling.
Falling.
Falling.
Wind
and fire
and rain.
Through closed eyes
I see all.
Falling through darkness
Into the abyss
Falling headfirst
An eternity of waiting
And falling.
Through the very threads of time
I fall
Watching the hours tick by
And the seasons rewind
And the horrors of the past reopen.
With eyes closed
I fall through darkness.
Opening them,
The fire,
the wind
the rain
is gone.
Only the heart is left
Fractured
Broken
And bright.
Falling
I shatter the heart.

I keep trying to run,
but there is nowhere to hide
from all of my problems
that I keep inside.
Honestly, I think
we're all just waiting to die.
We try to seize the moment,
but then its "good bye",
and forced to face reality,
you see an ugly side.
There is no one that knows me,
that can say I hadn't tried;
everyone's watched me grow,
and seen me as I died.
There's still nothing I want to say
after all the tears I've cried,
my words received no water
and to the world they simply dried.
With no direction,
I only stumble with no guide,
a wimpering soul,
just trying to get by.
My mind my biggest bully,
a truth I should confide...
as it rips on me each day,
I wish to run and hide.
I can't stand to seize the moment;
I must go out with the tide
even though I ran away
they can't say I hadn't tried.