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Feb 2020 · 84
(61) cycles
yvan sanchez Feb 2020
life comes in a constant cycle
beneath the shadow of my step
it grows and takes me into its grasp
so vile yet so soft like a satin sheet

and beneath its fabric veil, it lay:
a mirror image of myself,
o, it speaks to me
this doppelgänger upon me
who moans and weeps mine name,
in its increasingly painful grasp

who is this culprit in mine home?
illuminated by the desert moonlight,
unlike nights of neon and pavement
in its post-death wander across time:
but for where does he go?
Jan 2020 · 30
(56) blue
yvan sanchez Jan 2020
there was a shade of blue seen in no eye
no bottle, frame or stroke of oil ******
upon thy mysterious moving canvas—

and though i cannot paint your skies
the exact shade of blue you dreamed of
the kind you yearned for, so much so
a blue so deep it shamed the ocean floor
a blue so bright it left the sun in cowardice
a blue so mixed and right one could look
and almost absorb its sugary sweetness—

a blue to remember
in another day and time—
written 11 january 2020
denver, colorado
Jan 2020 · 32
(55) the last night
yvan sanchez Jan 2020
one day i will awake and depart
this earth the same day i lived it all
the end, the call, the distance, the whine
i go and make my last tireless journey—

all there along with the glowing light
all in the face of the end of this life—

the painted dawn will make up
for lost time between dream and day
like an unkind roar at the commencement
of my last forsaken night—

bold and unbound; in brash movements
again the night seeks my soul—
written 14 january 2020
denver, colorado
Jan 2020 · 44
(54) marble
yvan sanchez Jan 2020
i am smooth marble upon the floor
(yours to destroy, shape or shatter)
that breaketh with the weight of thy hand
chipping away upon thy sacred block
with thirty-six visions in mind of beauty

the beauty you cannot shape me to be
as i—the marble you carve—wither away
and feign death at the weight of thy hand
written 11 january 2020
denver, colorado
Nov 2019 · 394
(53) Begone
yvan sanchez Nov 2019
O the woe that lay upon the streets
of the foggy town of London—softly
masked in the air of excitement, the
lives, the deaths, the things, O
their beauty, everlasting beyond them;
white wisps that decorate the edges
of the sordid streets

Vision is illuminated in two, four eyes
One looking, one staring towards it, O
the magnificent ocean in its might;
the destroyer of worlds lay with it,
the creator of the endless night

The sun has lost its battle to the stars;
O, those stars that sing, that cry at the
wreckage below—

“We weep,” they say in its weakened glow
The wisps forming now over sacred clouds
“Begone, O light!” cries the creature below
“Begone, O thing of death upon me, glowing
upon my translucent cape, begone!”

Away and away, the sun mourns its loss
of the sweet ivy that grew upon those walls
“Begone, thing of the night!” it cries in
its post-apocalyptic voice—O a cry not
to be reckoned with in any time nor place

There lay the victims below the bereaved
and lower and lower live they—O, the
horrid undead, the undead that stop
that force of time, beyond the pavement,
beyond the stench, they lay

“Get hence, vile animal,” say they, carrying
their voices over the sound of the wind
O that sound that leaped over the mountains,
A word that shall be the last sentiment of
the living dead, a word spoken from beyond
the milky clouds: “Begone!”
Nov 2019 · 248
(52) one day
yvan sanchez Nov 2019
i will leave your door
your wooden frame
your poured foundation
your hollow garage
your quiet empty halls

a knock will come
it will be me at the door
my walls my wonders
my winters my words
i shall age just as they

i will disappear into
your stucco your sheets
your couches your a/c
your wine your books
and it will truly be me
May 2019 · 245
(51) the same things
yvan sanchez May 2019
the same birds:
flying + singing; undermines
the epitome of bad sleep

the same fan:
cool + loud; makes me
ponder the state of bad sleep

the same room:
quiet + messy; walls moving
from the edge of a drunken night
May 2019 · 161
(50) the moon
yvan sanchez May 2019
from afar you watch on a lounge chair propped
against one of the moon's many misshapen craters

quiet dawns pass by disguised by the night,
silent and barren in its tired, broken embrace
twenty million steps away from a new day

the moon ponders its silent devotion to the sun,
where you sink in the pool made from its tears―
May 2019 · 126
(49) reality
yvan sanchez May 2019
they leaped towards their hopes
and towards solitude! towards the
fleeting life that awaited them! forward,
unbound by the restraints of time! to
think, to bond, to love, to cry!

all the time in the world couldn't
seize like the words of carpe diem
that saved them from their youth!
that transformed their lofty dreams
into reality; reality into righteous pain!
May 2019 · 192
(48) sleep
yvan sanchez May 2019
the soul needs no place to rest
beside the quiet tide of fortune
that gives way to a new day and
the rays of sunlight that pour in
and revere your skin—

all the while you sleep; slipping
between sheets and dreams
and the barely audible whispers
of tomorrow—
May 2019 · 96
(47) valleys
yvan sanchez May 2019
flickering shells of streetlights
that glow that survives against
the long rainstorms
careening down valleys
that quickly euthanize themselves
in a false retreat towards life

                               (still, in the distance, there—
                                something that still seems so far away)
May 2019 · 145
(46) oceans
yvan sanchez May 2019
quiet clusters of thunderstorms
scattered around a blue blanket

ships sank at the call of the voice
they cried out in their crashing
against the waves of (now) utter doom

sinking to the bottom of the seafloor
to wither away; untouched by light
they go and go, away from now

to be remembered in
another time and place
Paradise, 2019
Apr 2019 · 225
(45) central park
yvan sanchez Apr 2019
calm, down a tired path
walks the poet, amazed
by earth and sky; more
bountiful and abundant
with its green sheen
separated by concrete,
brash and strong in its
indifference; where it
mends the wounds of time
and is resilient against
the aches of oblivion
Mar 2019 · 124
(44) the yard
yvan sanchez Mar 2019
sitting, revealing and absorbing
the quietness of a spring day in
the yard you grew up in
growing and dying like the plants
that surround your overgrown youth
that you can’t seem to let go of
equivalent in size to the universe
it heaves, begging for release
Feb 2019 · 107
(43) sheets
yvan sanchez Feb 2019
I woke up and it
was fall again, the
rain came in sheets this time

Hands touch, weary and
united in two, the
breaths come slower now.
Feb 2019 · 131
(42) Chicago (2016)
yvan sanchez Feb 2019
I see you in Chicago,
where I first saw us, apart, in the future
I see you in Chicago,
where the film was shown a hundred times
I see you in Chicago,
where everyone asks where I’m going and I can’t seem to rip the words of my tongue,
I see you in Chicago,
where the endless roadtrip of drugs, alcohol and endless fantasy drove us through the unwise streets,
I see you in Chicago,
where you didn’t mind the mosquitoes of time biting into your skin,
I see you in Chicago,
where innocence and comfort meant nothing but bribery,
I see you in Chicago,
where you collapse into my arms again, exhausted, at the foot of my bed in the endless summer night.
Feb 2019 · 262
(41) flight #456
yvan sanchez Feb 2019
there are some things i wish i knew
about you and the way you thought;
the way you made me your plaything
under the guise of me sinking into you
becoming; transforming—

i took you to my favourite place on earth
where we braced the snow and i
talked about the paintings we saw
and i never revealed the way
you reflected the beauty encapsulated
within them—
Feb 2019 · 110
(40) Untitled II
yvan sanchez Feb 2019
Back to the quiet tide of yesterdays ago,
That ******* in you I swore that I forgot
Comes to plant a kiss on my cheek;
There I go, sinking back into you

You were more than a set of songs
Or poems I wrote when I was drunk
Caught up in those quiet moments
Remembering how it was all taken away

I still live in that coy, sensitive side of you
That seemed eat away at young souls
Lost to the gleam of your simple words
Which attract and make me a part of you
Feb 2019 · 117
(39) The Strange Sunday
yvan sanchez Feb 2019
stop here—meet the snow
and the premonition of the old
the young the beautiful and the
secret desires that shape us

be it the people the means
the drugs the drinks the leaves
that blow past your favourite
pair of shoes worn like old souls

through the irony that built
the strange sunday we made
yesterday out of the empty
glasses and bad receipts
that tell the rest of the story
that we confined to the inner
depths of our intertwining
yvan sanchez Jan 2019
We found the back entrance
To the elusive known-by-all discothèque
Its entrance swarmed by the two bodies
Driving for the ******* who didn’t believe

“Welcome back,” said the hardened voice
His breath drawn beyond tobacco
The rain of bullets, metal and lifeless
We have never been here before

Hell is still just 14 miles away—
Jan 2019 · 148
(37) origin story
yvan sanchez Jan 2019
you live amongst the shadows downtown
where we met and hopelessly belong
where out youthful spirits still run free
with reckless abandon—where the
memory of years past seem to merge
with the way we see each other
less and less—forever
Dec 2018 · 162
(36) Back to Me
yvan sanchez Dec 2018
I hear your calls underground
The sounds blur the background
No Dante, No Virgil
Just you and the rest of your entourage
And you talk about how quiet it is
(“You’d love it here”)
But you won’t give the intimate details
Of how you’re spending eternity

No more will the sounds of gambling
Ravage your tormented soul
It’s less than the felt and dice
And the corner cages and sick drinks
That you spit right out

You haven’t responded to my letters
You wouldn’t dare touch them
So where exactly are you?

I recounted my steps to Hell and back
And swore I saw your shadow sway—
Just like it did when it caught my eye at the steps
Against the flame of some broken fire
Where its glow hid your darkness
Expertly drawing you to me
Against my belief, against my will
Our souls met amongst great surprise
Transcending worlds, fire, space—

And most important of all—
The best years of our lives

I’m tired of writing about you—
And it said in the candle’s dim glow
That unearthed those revealing cards

That you’re somewhere out there
On your way back to me.
Dec 2018 · 85
(35) lights
yvan sanchez Dec 2018
glimmering and fading
those lights we rever
walking down the familiar
concrete path with
the mad smells and the
mad tourists and the mad
everything

homebound with every step
i take in them and there
i abolish my fading memory
that lay distant, longing for
the moment where the
world gets it right and
understands for once

so we don’t have to
be angry anymore
Dec 2018 · 123
(34) linger
yvan sanchez Dec 2018
you’re still not entirely gone
from those chambers of hearts
whose walls you tore down
(at least not yet.)
i’m back, somewhat. i’ve been busy with school and my second collection of poetry.
Oct 2018 · 192
(33) Wolves
yvan sanchez Oct 2018
An alusive light that enters
The windows of a jetliner
A pack of wolves strapped in
And ready for takeoff

And I—amongst them, their own—
Fly to an unknown destination
There I sit—reclined, yet tense—
As the flight weighs on my soul

The howls overtake the aircraft
As the moon arrives and makes
Its sultry—and swift—anticipated entry
But there I see no more stars

They vanished—one by one,
Who am I?—Who is manning this
Aircraft—and I wake,
To a cup of coffee and a biscuit

I have landed—that at least,
But no amount of luggage
That passes by my aged eyes
Are mine—yet all yours

I look frantic—as I seek you,
But then I remember—
As you vanish in the distance,
Your memory is all I brought with me

Paradise, 2018
I live close to my city’s airport and pass by it to go pretty much anywhere. It reminds me of when I used to travel and when I’d pass through airports thinking if your radiant eyes and overthink the time it took for you to respond to my text. Or maybe my heart sinking when you asked how my flight was. It’s still all the little things that matter the most.
Oct 2018 · 164
(32) untitled
yvan sanchez Oct 2018
the empty shopping mall
that we both now occupy;
dismantle—slowly—the lights,
succumb to its tender darkness

the hollow shells of money making
now reduced to bitter nothing;
run—tirelessly—through them,
their youth fleeting; long departed
i still think of your eyes, even when i don’t see you.
Oct 2018 · 128
(31) Table Games
yvan sanchez Oct 2018
Fake romanesque paintings
Columns so bold, yet hollow
Lights, signs, storefronts
They all paint my city
So cryptic and plastic—

Where small plastic chips
Make and break you—
Where big brother watches you
And your hash-lined pants
From all 5,182 cameras above

Home, a place not like a home
Where the masses flee their constraints
And drink, and shop—
And where, here—
They play the most danergous game
Oct 2018 · 309
(30) post-adrenaline
yvan sanchez Oct 2018
the white of your eyes polished;
blade, so perfectly placed
as i beg you to take me;
release me from this existence
Oct 2018 · 271
(29) Memory of New York
yvan sanchez Oct 2018
I traverse the somber night
Gone; alone with the wind—
The music that is your voice
Guides, aimlessly, amongst the concrete

And in this aimless state
I try to occupy myself with
The sound of pedestrians,
Trains, buses and taxis galore

But you still remain distanced
and I—infatuated with steel—
Reclaim the civility of New York
To keep for my own—solitary

And in my selfish practice
I find you, beautifully alone—
Depraved of myself,
And devoid of your own—

Paradise, 2018
Oct 2018 · 455
(28) Golden
yvan sanchez Oct 2018
I catch a glimpse of you
Through what’s left of that bottle—
Flavor—nothing I’d ask,
The burn and grimace still the same—

Your inverted image slips away
So tender, innocent and new—
The shade of the dangerous liquid
Painted you so tall and golden—

And there I continue and drink;
Trying to get a taste of you—

Paradise, 2018
Oct 2018 · 200
(27) Past Lives
yvan sanchez Oct 2018
She wears the worn lives of her past,
It graces her skin, so delicate and rare—
Though still, she moves elegant and fair
Her hinderance still her most punishable trait—
Oct 2018 · 256
(26) The Glass Room
yvan sanchez Oct 2018
When I find myself entrapped
Amongst the glass walls you built
I find that you are just on the other side
I want to shatter and break and destroy
I feel that old feeling in my throat
As it also begins to freeze my heart again
I bang against those clear walls that bind me
Where you are just an armreach away
But even then you are ignorant of me
Oblivious to the way I aim to serve you
You are the air I breathe and the thing
That still bridges me between life and death
I am under your complete, total control
Emotionless, you watch from the beyond
As you admire your creation and your ****
Oct 2018 · 203
(25) your eyes
yvan sanchez Oct 2018
you dissipate faster than the stars
that shelter themselves at dawn;
but compared to your eyes, my love
the stars are nothing in comparison
Oct 2018 · 204
(24) the sun
yvan sanchez Oct 2018
and at last, i leave you
because i have failed you;
no longer shall i see your eyes
catch the sun in such a daring pose

Paradise, 2018
yvan sanchez Sep 2018
I never got to see you again—
Well, I still do,
Just not in the usual sense,
No longer do I catch the gleam of sun your eyes.

But that doesn’t matter anymore—
At least I thought it didn’t,
It is odd and scary to think of you in such a way,
but I thought it didn’t matter anymore.

Oh, but it is that place of sadness that defeats me—
It is quiet and your thoughts live there with me,
Where I wash away your sins from my back,
And where I learned I am nothing without you.

You become one with my own sins—
Where I tried to justify yet you would not listen,
It wasn’t intelligence that you sought,
It was just sweet nothings.

Gems, so precious they are—
Here in the abandoned alley where I would wait,
Where I would hear your voice coming from my phone,
“Hello?”—You’re still there.

And though I still ache for November,
Still, I am alone in the pale, grey summer morning,
Metal and concrete chills me to the core,
Three beeps—You’re not there.

Paradise, 2018
yvan sanchez Sep 2018
I stare, on my screen,
A grid of aligned numbers
You’re just two taps away
But I cannot reach you

Alive is the burn in my throat
I drink, hoping to forget—

“Please leave your message for…”
Says the machine on the other line
I try to use my best words
Which can no longer come to me

Paradise, 2018
Sep 2018 · 958
(21) The Apocalypse
yvan sanchez Sep 2018
I

I still exist in your symmetry,
In your crystals, in your lines
There is a secret history;
A passing of marble and bronze
I leave my room and here I am,
Surrounded by the fake daylight
Memory still exists on the most
Aged asphalt and white plaster
Weighed by a sadness older than age itself
As time sags their wooden frames

Then there the fire begins
It burns with fury and rage;
My artificial paradise departs from me
As I gather what I can from ash
They remain unamended and raw
In their original, solid state
I begin to mark each line of sweat
The strands on my head now aflame;
Fiery hands remove all of me minus heart
Left with my frail bones that rattle, alone

As my spirit departs the scorched crust
I dust away at my improvised grave;
I carry myself to the edge of time
Vanished, no longer to be found.


II

The quietness after a harsh panic
Paints the ordinated New Age
There regrows the willows where
We are off to sleep;
I mix the soil with our love
It grows and grows and grows;
Their strands a brilliant green
It comes and joins me
My hair becomes the willow
Where I still hear you, asleep

There I flee to the ocean
Your memory amongst the particles of salt
The water’s ephemeral substance
Their fluidity draws me in
I am drawn in by the cool water
My skin slowly becomes blue;
My eyes replaced with worn, ancient shells
My hair a bundle of slippery kelp
I molt in the clear, wide expanse
As you consume me

And now in the darkness
You rejoin me again on the sea floor;
Again, grows the willow
The marker of our joint grave.

Paradise, 2018
yvan sanchez Sep 2018
There is fire above the neon
Their shine and burn so eloquent yet brash
I am trapped beneath Fremont Street
and I hear exodus—

I am trapped beneath Fremont Street
My coffin is lined with casino carpet
The embers of cigarette ash
Burn wild within me

I want to move to Sahara Avenue
and live amongst the cracked asphalt
So I can catch a glimpse of
The Genesis I am missing

So next I am under Main Street
where the sweltering desert meets
the diminished pavement;
the metal statues that hold blinking lights

I am trapped beneath Fremont Street
As I gaze into the deep, wide Mojave
Oh, Deuteronomy, it is I,
the one you so eagerly seek!

Paradise, 2018
I am not a religious person, but I had to watch a lecture based on religion for one of my writing classes and it inspired me, along with my hometown, so namely dubbed "Sin City." My family raised me as a Catholic, yet I have never had any sort of attachment to God or any god-like figure.
Sep 2018 · 808
(19) chance of snow
yvan sanchez Sep 2018
we bleed unto a frozen tundra
alone, in the brazen cold
i feel your final warmth by me
which makes passing all the better—

Paradise, 2018
yvan sanchez Sep 2018
i am consumed by your skin
as you ask me
“isn’t this what you wanted?”
yes, my love, yet—

Paradise, 2018
Sep 2018 · 259
(17) Churches
yvan sanchez Sep 2018
The rich kids line up
to receive capitalist communion;

The poor kids line up
strangled by their holy binding—

Henderson, 2018
Sep 2018 · 268
(16) America
yvan sanchez Sep 2018
My skin stretches into
the catacombs of California

My eyes, they watch,
over the plains of Missouri

America, where are you—
My lips are locked
with my memory of Connecticut—

North Las Vegas, 2018
Sep 2018 · 122
(15) Asphyxiation
yvan sanchez Sep 2018
there are times
where i want to strangle you;
watch the life leave your eyes
my reflection their final showing

there are times
where i want to worship you;
witness you upon the stage
our love flourished yet aged

there are times
where i see your blood on me;
a negative seeping crimson elixir
that i wipe away from my eyes

there are times
that i remember its all in my head;
i feel your blade enter me
and its you not me wielding it—
Sep 2018 · 147
(14) legs
yvan sanchez Sep 2018
my legs are
no longer legs
they are trees
buried in your veins
their roots a force
to be reckoned with
Sep 2018 · 193
(13) the end of summer
yvan sanchez Sep 2018
the last fleeting days of summer
surround my restless soul
my psyche sways softly
to the hum of my manic schemes—

sixty-seven degrees sunset cloudy skies
with a chance of contrition
i line my coat with the pieces
of your cashmere heart—

Paradise, 2018
Sep 2018 · 294
(12) i am a ghost
yvan sanchez Sep 2018
i am a ghost
watching you with each passing hour
they fly so quickly
yet they feel the longest by you—

i am a ghost
my grip reduced to an ice cold breeze
i hold you in my arms
and i feel nothing—

i am a ghost
i watch your dreams come true
as i lull myself to sleep
your warmth a false façade—

i am a ghost
i tell all my friends
how happy we are together
i think they have finally discovered my madness—

i am a ghost
and when you become one too
i will be waiting
to break away from chains—

that have kept me away
from you
for so long—

Paradise, 2018
Sep 2018 · 613
(11) the lifespan of poetry
yvan sanchez Sep 2018
now living the better part of my life
where you are no longer mine
my heartbeat an incomprehensible song
driving the words from my lips to your ear—

beyond the guise of my poetry
i, too, live a second life
where you and i can disintegrate
our grave a bed of peonies—

there, too, are third and fourth lives
where you are all apart
despite (our) best efforts
i christen the memory of five and six—

my words cannot bring you to life;
the way they did before—

Paradise, 2018
yvan sanchez Sep 2018
summer nights—cold soul
drunken anecdote
the flow of ink so delicate
to massacre the old for the new

winter morning—warm hands
littered streets
the sound of your vowels and consonants
just the right consistency

chiseled gravestones—life in your eyes
sound of footsteps
the burn of your last words to me
inverted and sweet

the universe owes us no due;
the six minutes i treasured you—

Paradise, 2018
Sep 2018 · 268
(9) your poem
yvan sanchez Sep 2018
i wrote for you today
i abandoned my moss covered legs—
i ran as quickly as i could to you
and i wrote down so many things

i hope to see you soon
i miss that tired groove in your voice—
will i see you again
have you heard this pretty song

i wrote for you today
because i abandoned you—
not because i wanted to
but to bring light to truth

you left me
i abandoned you—
Sep 2018 · 4.1k
(8) september
yvan sanchez Sep 2018
the moonlight is pouring into my room
it vanishes—i weep,
a bloodborne obsession
the moonlight is pouring into my room
it bathes me—i weep,
cool wind aches my skin—

Paradise, 2018
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