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It's dark and rainy,
The clouds are caving in
I'm cold, more than any day.
Even you don't shine like the sun anymore
The rain doesn't go away
It's your light I crave for,
In the darkest hours of May.
With you I don't struggle
To put on a play.
But on and on and on,
Still my feelings sway.
Oh, If only I could tell you how pretty you looked in the rain.
I love you
I fell in love with my best friend a while ago,
And I scraped my knees while falling.

I haven't fully recovered yet.
It still hurts a lot.

Falling hurts,
Especially falling on a stone road.

I like being in love,
Just not when I'm able to.

I know she doesn't want me,
I've made peace with that already.

Sometimes I wonder,
Does she know that I exist?

I never really fell out of love,
I learned to ignore it.

It's like she's charming me with magic,
A little more magic every day.

I fell in love with my best friend a while ago,
And it still hurts a bit.
How can I not be in love with my short, brown-curled, blue-eyed, everything-at-once friend?
Love *****
can ac
tually dest
roy lives with
its                    in
sides and it's lov
ely taste of happ
iness wich we w
ill never find ou
tside this bottle
of alcohol and s
ome stupid lies
alcohol is trash
Life is but the blink of an eye,
Death is the real adventure
We could start over again
Yes, indeed she came back
But that doesn't mean you're comming back too
I would love it, that's not it
But I made this kind of confusing
So maybe think about it
And talk to me without caring
About my well-being
I broke you for a reason
So why are you still worried about me
I broke you to not care
But now you just hate me
And you still want the best
How do I undo
When the system crashed
not sure, kind of a weird poem but i just needed to write something
If you ever look for poetry,
In this weird place.
Just look under my alarm clock.
I keep all my unsent love letters and way too long poetry under my alarm clock. It's a big pile now. Who cares though?
Dear G,
Maybe you'll read this, maybe you won't. It's up to you, really. I don't wanna say I miss you, because it feels wrong to admit that I, in fact, do miss you. I'm not supposed to miss you, I'm supposed to be happier now. But I do miss you. It's one of the most awful feelings in the world, and every day I feel a little worse about letting you go. You're probably already over me, you're a strong person. Although, I still have no idea how you're doing. I know you're still talking to my best friend, but I have no idea how are are or what's going on in your life right now. I kind of wanted to stay in touch with you, but I didn't know how and you didn't seem that interested. I think I understand. I broke your heart, probably. I never meant to, but I just don't know how love works. I think I do understand why it hurts after almost 11 months of dating. I don't regret a single day though. I think I was already gone in my mind, months before. I thought I would feel better with this decision, but I feel lonely, so lonely. I'm not lonely, but it feels like it's growing every day. You don't have to take me back. God, I don't think I'd even wanna see myself again if I did that. I wouldn't take me back. But still, I want you back. I miss the way that the weekend sparkeled a bit because you were there. I miss the way you'd laugh, I miss the way you kissed me and I miss how you taste. Oh, I'd love to taste that again. Well, this is how it is now. I don't even remember your face. But maybe, if you changed your mind, we could be again. Only as friends, if that's what you want. Or you never speak to me again. No matter if it pains me, I just want you to be happy.
Sincerely, yours. Lillie.
this was an impuls, I'm sorry
I could send you so many love declarations, but I'm not good at writing conclusions. I could write an essay about how beautiful you are, but I'm not good at making points. I could write so many songs about you, but I'm not really the best with music. I might write way too much poetry for you, but that doesn't mean I can make all the words rhyme. I might not be the best at showing you that I care, but I'm trying. I really am. Loving is quite difficult for me, but you are here. So, I will try. I want to try, because I care about you. Because I love you.
*We Know playing in the background*
And you.
Basically all I write about,
My poems start to get boring I think.
But it's all I think about.
Our lies
Our secrets
Our fights
Our stories
Our love
Our friendship
Or at least what's left of it,
Always here, never there
You're my poetry
I write to much about you, And I.
Is it bad tho?
Always on my mind,
Always in my poems,
If Only you knew, if anyone did...

It's just my mind.
That I want to be the one to speak her name as mine
thank you, next.
Yes, feelings ****. Not that I have a lot of them, but the ones I have **** me up, and mess with my brain, body and mental health. The only place I still feel genuine hapiness is with you. I'm happy in a lot of other places, with a lot of other people. And I wouldn't wanna change those moments. But I'm never the same happy I am with you. I've never felt something quite like that hapiness. I used to see you pass by in the hallway, and still, if I pass you by, my eyes light up a little. It used to be hard to find you in a crowded place, now your face is the only face I seem to find. You don't wear colorful clothes, but you always catch my eye. You light up those really dark places, just by being there. You don't even need to smile. I don't think a lot of people see that. I don't think you see that. But I do. And I don't think I would still be able to see in the dark without that light. I'd stumble and fall, over and over again. And it's okay if I have to walk there, alone in the dark, for a little while, because I know that if I'd fall again, you'd be there to catch me. Maybe not now, Maybe not everytime, but someday, in the future, It may be.
M sorry
I don't know how or why,

But who am I that I should get to              ~hold                        you?

All I've ever known is how to hold my own                                                  
But now I wanna hold you, too.                        

You hold me tight,

And there's                                                          ­                            
    s u n l i g h t                                        
All around me.

You make me forget how dark the world gets sometimes.

Promise me                                                               ­                                   

the                      w­ i n d                                      

Will never change on us

As long as we stay with eachother,                              


I love you
Warning: long poem.


Words written
All over my body.
They tell us angels,
They're everything but holy.

Like scars.
So close,
Yet so far apart.

The outside
Can fool,
Use the angel's power
As a tool.

Get the devil
To confess.
But it turns
Into nothing less.

I'm not an angel,
I'm not a devil too.
I'm stuck in the middle,
Attracted to you.

Chained to my ankles,
Says I'm a good girl.
But I don't remember saying
That I lived in this world.

Tears and lies,
The fundament of my soul.
It's dark and rainy,
Black like coal.

Could hurt my self,
Don't have the courage
Yet my body is
Full of hemorrhages

There's a heaven,
But I need hell.
Can't you see.
I'm really unwell

What you're telling me
That is to  trust.
But letting go,
Is what I must.

Telling myself,
Everything I heard before.
I don't want to live like this
Not anymore.

Blue skies and clouds,
Spinning around.
Thunder clouds and dark skies.
That's not what it's about.

I'm a liar,
I never keep a promise.
You know, I see.
But you've got to be honest.

Having feelings for you,
Yes it does ****,
But you're just an angel.
**** **** **** :)

Hidden feelings,
Becoming more and more.
They will never respect you,
The same way they did before.

You can't cry,
You're happy here.
Heavenly feelings,
Flying in the atmosphere.

I'm slowly losing you,
But in a different way.
I'm still hoping that I'll
Pass you by in the hallway.

You can always
Laugh things away.
But what you don't know
Is that they stay.

I'm not okay,
I feel so scattered.
Don't be that way,
You're all that matters.

I confess,
I am lost.
My friendship
Is what it cost.

It's like I'm flying
Without wings.
Not getting joy
Out of the little things.

I'm an angel,
I'm not okay.
Because Satan isn't really
Feeling it today.

Put your lips on my skin,
And you might ignite it.
It hurts and it burns to hide it,
But I kinda like it.

Stop it, I'm trying.
Never gonna get things done.
By the time I finish,
You'll definetly be gone.

Being empty
And clear.
Is hapiness
Really near?

I can see you standing.
But you're never alone, no.
I could go talk to you,
But I'm too scared to go.

The cuts in my arm,
Are invisible to you.
But somehow, I don't know,
You show me yours too.

Started with angels,
Now talking about you.
A never ending sickness,
An infinite flu.

There's nothing I can do,
Don't judge me babe.
I'm just waiting
For my judgement day.

I keep adding sins,
But I'm trying to be holy
You never hear I tell you,
That I'm your's fully.

My scars keep bleeding,
I don't know what to do.
So I just keep on cutting,
Going through and through.

Your head on my thighs,
I never thought of this.
Oh but it's lovely,
Yes, yes it is.

Why would I keep trying,
Nothing makes me happy anyway.
You're the only person
That makes me want to stay.

Why did we spend,
All those hours?
Because you know it's gonna die,
Just like your flowers

If the end of the world,
Was near,
I'd spend them with you,
And die without fear

All I wanted,
Was to protect you.
And now I'll just
Never get to.

I kind of regret,
But I kind of like it.
Taking a joint.
Ah, it was just one hit

We are planning to leave.
Together, let's run away.
As long as I'm with you,
I don't really care if we stay.

You just keep giving,
The angel's trust.
But can't you see
My devil's lust?
I'm not sure what this is anymore. Just take it, whatever.
I had such perfect words for this, But I guess feelings never stay long enough to be cared about.
Number one.
Freedom doesn't always come with the truth,
Yet the truth always comes with your freedom.
Idk, probably makes no sense. You can't be free without the truth surrounding you, but the truth doesn't always set you free. That's the way I see it.
We're right on the middle
Of the end of the world
If I die, in the fight for our lives.
Will I wake up tomorrow,
Under glorious suns,
Or with another battle?
With the never ending rythm,
And the rhyme of decision day.
We as humans,
Always have the need to express ourselves.
So do I.
Living this lie,
Had to get it out.
Could have expected.
I shouldn't have put that paper in your locker.
Kiss me
And you will see
I'll take you to a world
Where you don't want to be
And I will make you
If nothing subsist
If no one is
If we are
A taste of death
Let me show you.

Second all, you're beautiful.
And I've told you many times before.
But you don't seem to realise,
So I'll just tell you once more.

You're such a beautiful person.
You're adorable, caring and sweet.
You're cute, kind and genuinely granting.
You're a person, that's all I need.

Every time you say "I love you."
My whole heart just gets overthrown.
I've wished for that forever.
But maybe you've always known.

I can't explain how much I love you.
Like when you call me cute, or 'a blessing.'
You loving me is so surreal,
And it's the most amazing thing.
I catched a glimpse of you,
Running through the moonlight.
You climbed the barricades again,
Because you fight day and night.

I didn't see your face that night,
But I know you looked beautiful.
And even though there's chaos here,
You made my world feel peaceful

I see you standing there, every day,
Waving the big red flag.
But you're so far ahead of it.
It's not the revolution, it's me, you outdrag,

I see you fight here all the time,
And I get filled with pride.
So as long as we'll stand on the barricade together,
We don't have to hide.

You are my barricade boy,
And the revolution is ours.
And someday we'll fill the world,
With black and red flowers
"Enjolras" I heard you whisper. Änd what's your name-" But our lips met before I could whisper back. "My name's Grantaire."
To be the one to speak her name as mine.
The ghost of her past.
Glistering water.
Ocean eyes.
Soft satin lips.
Dead roses.
Crumbled in the dust.
My blood on the purple flowers.
Blossom flowers.
Trees in morning dew.
The sound of pen on paper.
Diamond rain drops.
Tears rolling siltently down her face.
Scars on my skin.
Knife covering my wrists.
The end of the world.
The blood swirling in my veins, soon to be poured out.
These words just sound beautiful to me, not really a reason?
Hey folks,                                                           ­                                   

                            ­                        Begging your pardon?

            Die                                      ­                      
                               You're all

Die                                                          ­                        

    You're all gonna
                                                           ­                                     Die

                   ­    The whole being dead thing...                                              

E n j o y the
And if I hear your C e l l p h o n e

I'll                      ****                  yo­u              m y s e l f

The whole ~"Being dead"~ thing.

G                                               Brutal truth,                                                
I                                          Hitlist,             ­                                     
A                                     Christmas,                                        
N                                   Triscuits,                                      
T                               Statistics.                                
SNAKE                                                           ­                           

Every show I do like a TON of
c   o   k   e

Jesus, pass the
d   r   a   m   a   m   i   m   e

Bla                                                         ­                                                Bla

Seriously though, this is a (show?) about

And on a certain date, the universe kills you.
That's the thing with life
No-one makes it out alive

God I hope you're ready for a
(Show?) about

                                                I do this ******* like eight times a week,
You're gonna be fine.                            

God I hope you're ready                                                            ­                  
for a (show?) about

                                                        ­                                           DEATH
Don't end yourself, Defend yourself
Now I all I got left is black roses
And they crumble in the dust
When they're held
When I stare at my face,
And look deep in the mirror,

It's never the love that creeps in,
Always the 'horror'

I see a girl standing there.
An average looking girl.

She's not to tall,
But also not short.

She has brown hair up to her shoulders,
With blue and indigo streaks in it.

She's wearing pants that are a little bit too big,
Because her disorders make her lose weight.

She's wearing a red and black 'lumberjack blouse'
It's a little too big, it's from the men's departement.

She has a pretty small mouth,
But her lips are pink, and kind of plumped

She has bushy eyebrows,
But not in an ugly way?

She has beautiful grey, blue, green eyes.
It depends on the day and her mood.

She has a little bit of a crooked nose,
That a tiny bit too big for her face.

She has a chubby face, not so much
But she's a little chubby over all.

She has braces on her teeth,
But that's pretty common these days.

She has a pretty normal body,
Normal figure, a little on the "fat" side.

She has an arm full of scars,
But they have always been there, so it's fine.

And all of the above,
Every day that's what I see.
But what I see in the mirror,

She's a girl.

She   is   not   me.
Dysphoria Days.
Bite my tongue
One by one
Blood on the plain white walls
Your silence is my favorite sound
Dreaming nightmares
When I don't sleep
My boy, My man
My girl, My queen
I don't want to be me anymore
Don't be this
Fall apart once a day
I just wish I Could feel
What I say
Want to be the one
To speak her name
As mine
Never show, Never tell
Wish I knew you to well
Fell into your silver mind
And those golden eyes
Graciously flies the butterfly
Through the morning sun and night
She picks the prettiest flowers in the field
With a touch so soft and light

Silently flies the butterfly
All across the garden
She keeps the flowers safe all day
She is their gatekeeper, their warden

Softly flies the butterfly
Tenderly she touches every flower
She'll never be tired of her company
She loves them every minute, every hour

Carelessly lands the butterfly
Right there on my shoulder
She looks at me as if to say;
"Don't ever grow older."
Every minute without you feels like an hour. Time is passing so slow with nothing to run on. I haven't aged a single day. It's meaningless without you.
Wish I Could
Say no to you
And be as strong
As you think I am
I'm afraid
Living in this cycle is bearable
But for how long?
How long will it take me
To destroy everything even more
Then that I already did
How can I live with this
Because the feeling
After breaking you
Will be just as bad as before
I am confused
I am screaming
I am happy
I am silent
I am all at once
I am me
A terrible person
Who hurts
Who breaks
Who cries
But mostly
Makes other people be
And the worst part is
I don't even know why
So one last time
I just want
To be the one
To speak her name as mine
Even in my dreams
She's here
But does that count as cheating?
Because it feels
Just as good
And just as bad
Even my poems show that broken is not broken Enough for me but nobody seems to realise
Can I scream for help
I want to
Can I get out of this stupid roleplay I created
Out of this lie
Out of this love
Out of everyone
Without breaking something
There is Only one question left
Why do I give out signs for help,
If help.
Will make this word I created,
And destroyed
Even worse
The pieces are finally getting back together
Lies. Lies. Lies. Sick of lying.
That wich is lifeless,
May hide behind a shade of certainty.
Thus the tiger masks its barbarity,
With the beauty on its body.

~ Sombro
I drew the word "pride"
But it's the Pan flag.
Underneath it it's the same
But it's a trans flag
I couldn't draw a demiromantic and/or a genderflux flag with chalk.
Now we wait for my parents to see
If they don't see it within two weeks I'll bake a cake that says
"pan, trans, demiromantic and also genderflux"
Maybe I'll need two cakes tbh.
I've had a lot of conversations with myself lately,
At night.
"Who told you to?"
"He made me tell myself."
"How do you know?"
"I don't."
Me, myself, I.
All different people
But all the same.
The contemptuous person behind this glass that I can't see because I'm desperately trying to see what I can't be.
I really want to know,
Who this person is I'm talking to.
I found you again
Just a stupid joke
Is what made us stay
Thought you would
Never actually return
And if you did,
Yes,it would take a while
I broke us apart
But apparently I also
Made you stick around
If you wonder,
I learned my lesson
Never break again
In front of others
Because they will break too
I'm just so glad you're back
And I'm so afraid you'll leave me again
Because I really love you
Hey. It's me, again. Probably not such a surprise, is it? I wrote you a whole lot of these letters. About all 9 of them ended up in the trash. Partly because they just 'weren't right,' but the biggest part was because I was too self-concious to give it to you. So, yeah, I'm in love with you. You may, or may not know. I really understand it if you chose to ignore that part. And, I like you, okay? Not only as in 'in-love,' but as a friend too. You were there when I needed someone, and I'm really glad that you were, cheesy as it sounds. It's kinda messed up to be honest. (I'm kinda messed up too) And, I feel like a creep again. What about this idea; You read this letter, You ignore it, I drown in sadness like I usually do (probably) and I never talk to you again. My feelings will hopefully dissapear and you can live a happy life with your friends and family without me. Sometimes I really wish I could do that. God knows I'm way to helpless for it. I'm sorry, this has really turned into one big mess. I tried to write it with my own mind, but that just keeps wandering off. I'm not sure what to say anymore. Sorry man.  Uh, there's a little "poem" on the back for you. I still have to write it, but, you can see.

Sincerely, Me
I already regret this, but it's fine, I'm fine. Sorry. I wrote you so many letters, this one is one of them. I tried so many times to write one that wasn't, idk. Not so 'bad' as this one. But, in the end, I found myself being able to write it down by heart, because I wrote the exact same thing over and over. So, here we are. I'm sorry you had to read that. And also, here's the poem:


Do you have certain songs,
That remind you of certain people?
You're the song stuck in my head,
And it's a **** sad song baby.
Hey. Guess you'll know it's me by now. I don't really know where to start. Again, I wrote you a ton of these kind of letters. They all ended up in the trash too.
You know, It kinda suprises me. You said that you read the line "I'm in love with you." from the last poem I sent you, thirty times. but, In the letter I wrote you, I said it too. I really thought you'd noticed. I really thought you already knew. Not that it matters a lot anymore now. In a good way though.
I really don't understand the stuff you do to me. remember the first day of school, when we hugged in the middle of the hallway? Lucky me, you walked away for a sec. I was shaking, it surprised me you didn't see. How? I don't know. Or when you told me; "I would date you." And my brain just, stopped. I literally couldn't think anymore. It really felt like a dream, and it still does. I dreamt about you last night, I vaguely remember. It was kind of a nightmare, but before it got scary I woke up. But seriously, when I think about you I just, I don't know man. ****'s confusing. But yeah, I really am head-over-heels in love with you. And, I don't know what's gonna happen next, but I know it'll be a good thing.
Sincerely, me.
Felt like writing something rlly stupid to you. Sorry.
Hey. Our philosophy teacher gave us an assignment about something with luck and hapiness, so I'm writing to you again. (Not that there's a difference) I love you. You make me one of the happiest people in the world. And, I'm really glad that you are in my life. I really hope you feel the same thing. You make my heart skip a few beats whenever I see one of your texts popping up on my screen. You manage to make me smile at any hour of the day. You light up the world when it's too dark for me to see. You make me so happy. In a  that no one else does. You make me smile in such a manner that people sometimes ask what the cause is of this 'happening.' You're just, everything? You're beautiful, by the way. I'm gonna tell you until you believe me. Because you really are beautiful. People always say that you look better when you laugh, but you don't even need to smile. Not that I don't want you to smile- You smiling is one of the best things in the world to me. I don't really know how to explain.
I'm wondering why I keep writing everything down. We don't live in the 17th century anymore. Ah well, not that it matters.
Sometimes I'm also wondering if you think about me a lot. If you ever do to be honest. But mostly, what you think in those cases. It's not really a bother, but it pops up in my mind at times. When I say this, I think that you must also know that I think about you a lot. Whenever I see a poem (Which I do, a lot) that reminds me of you or something, I get a little distracted from whatever I was doing. But, in a good way. I think. Can it ever be bad to think about someone a lot? It probably just shows how much you care, which I also do, a lot. I do really care about you. You're an amazing human being and I love you. It always surprises me how fast I can fill a page whenever I write something for, or about you. Well, it's not really 'surprising' me. More like 'reminder of how much I'm in love with you.' Welp. It's a good thing though, probably. I mean, I'm just writing stuff. It's not like I'm bothering anyone. (I hope?) And it just keeps getting better. You make my life a little better every day. So, thank you. Really. I'm so happy you're here. (You're adorable by the way) And hopefully, it will stay like this for a little while.
Sincerely, Me
Wow, u can rlly dancE :0
I wrote you another letter, but I wasn't able to give it to you today. I'll give it to you on paper if you want. It's exactly what I just typed here.
So my brain thought of another stupid thing;  "You don't deserve to hurt this way. You don't deserve to hurt at all. So please, let me in. I will help protect you from yourself. You've been there so many times, I don't want you to fall." And it's true. I don't know if I will be able to fix you with poetry and stupid nursery rhymes, but I will try. I don't think I'll be able to fix you at all. Maybe I am, who knows? I'll always try. Will you just let me in? Not only in your mind, not only in your words, but in your heart? I want to help you with every bit that I can. And, I get that's not enough. My words will never be enough. But, I will try. So please give me the chance to? That would be enough. Whatever horrible things it are that you're feeling, I will try to understand them. To understand them, and to help you get them away. Because you don't deserve to feel bad. You don't and you never did. And I get that my words will never be good enough to live up to your expectations, but please, please. Will you give me a chance? I love you, I really do. So let me help you, let me in. It doesn't have to be soon, it doesn't have to go fast. But remember that whenever you need me, I'll be there waiting. Waiting with all my words. To make you feelbetter, even in the slightest way.
I don't know what this is but I just typed it and here we go
Hey. Here's another letter kinda thing. Been writing these a lot lately. In my mind, never on paper. I don't really know how to explain what I feel anymore. It's like, I have this sense of feeling? Like I know that they're here, but I just can't seem to find them? Like I can see someone else in front of me, while knowing that they are a person with feelings and thoughs, but not being able to recognise them. Not being able to see the person standing there. Like I can see all of it, but not knowing that it's there. It kinda scares me, in a way. Like I see myself, but not me. Like I see something I was, that people still see as me. I don't know anymore. I've been trying to get my feelings out, and I still am, I just don't succeed often. This is seemingly the only way to get out whatever I'm thinking or feeling. Which is a lot, but also nothing at the same time. I feel lost, so incredibly lost. The world's passing me by and I'm behind a ******* window trying to reach it, but I can't. I never did. I just taught people how to communicate with me through that stupid barrier. It never went away. But if people don't come close to you they won't notice that, so it's fine I guess. And then you came in and smashed the entire thing with a ******* hammer. I wasn't used to opening up to people, especially not people who understand. But, I'm glad I did, and glad that you are here to listen. I don't open up to people much. Been botteling these emotions since 2006, so it's hard to open the bottle now. But I'm trying, and I can't thank you enough for being there with me. Thank you, so much. I love you, bye.
Idk how to tag these anymore, enjoy
Dear {Deadname},
It's been a while, I'm sorry. I don't know if you want me to write to you, or if you want me to just talk. Maybe you don't even want that, I don't know. Maybe you just want me to show you how much I love you physically. (I don't mind any of that.) It's okay. Take your time to figure it out. Love's a weird thing. So is writing to you. Don't get me wrong, I love it, but it's different now you're mine. The world changed, in a good way, but even good changes are different. I know that I want to love you. I just don't quite now how to love you yet, but I'll figure it out. We'll figure it out. Maybe it's kissing you every day, maybe it's writing a letter every night. Maybe it's both, or none at all. Love is not 'a thing.' It's different every single time. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. You have needs, things you want. So do I. I don't think I know you that well, and that's alright. (I hope...) I wanna get to know you. In every way. I don't know how. I don't know what the meaning of this letter is, but maybe that's the meaning.
Forever yours
Sincerely, Me
Dear {Deadname,}
Hi, it's me again. I just... I needed to write. I feel like I'm losing you, if I ever had you. You feel like a stranger to me, like somebody I used to know. It's like you're here, but you've dissapeared. Maybe that's because I am, in fact, losing you. Maybe that's because you're losing yourself in this place. Or, we're not losing anything. I don't know, And I want to figure it out but I don't know how to do that. I want to get to know you. I thought I did, but recently the world's been changing a lot, you know? We're all a little lost, and I know I need you here. You're mine, I know that, that's more than I could ever ask for already, but still.. It just doesn't feel right, and I wanna make it right. I don't know how, but maybe you can help me out. I'm sorry. I really am. For not knowing how to love you, or for not knowing how to help you. I wanna be there for you, but I feel like I'm failing. As a person, a brother, a boyfriend, a son. I'm falling, but maybe you can help me up?
Forever yours
Sincerely, Me
I had a good conversation with a friend today,
About society, speaking up, trauma and depression.
And I decided that I needed to speak up too.
I don't need the whole world to hear my story,
But I need myself to speak up.
Because I know that I'll be okay, someday.
I don't know if this was a good decision,
But if you read this, it probably was.
Maybe it was, or maybe it wasn't.
But it's my story, so I'm the one who should tell it.

Yup, I got *****. I don't know what rumours you heard, but it's probably true. It didn't happen once, or twice. I just stopped counting because that realisation was too much. There were/are a few, maybe two people, that I would give consent to, but you see, they never wanted that. And then we have all the other people. all the countless bodies on top of mine and all the times I didn't even have to lie because I wasn't able to speak. But what can you do when you're high, drunk, scared, in love? What can you do? You might say it was my fault. "Shouldn't get drunk at 11." And that's true. I'm not proud of whatever happened back there, but I won't lie. I told myself enough times that I wasn't good enough. That I deserved this. That I just had to endure it. Maybe I did, maybe I was a bad person. I don't know. What I do know is what happened to me. I was used, abused, ***** and assaulted until I wasn't able to stand up anymore. And I did not deserve that. There is a difference between giving yourself consent, and asking for it. No one ever asked me. Everyone assumed I was okay with them touching me. Maybe they assumed so because we were drunk or high, maybe they just wanted to touch a girl. I don't know where to start. I was abused for a long, long while. And it ****** me up. I'll recover from a lot of it, but I'll always feel a little empty. Talking helps. It's still my voice, it's just a little different now. But before we can shout out loud, we have to learn to use our voice first. You will be heard, And you will be found.

I will try to tell some of my stories, because I have a lot of them. Maybe someday, and maybe now.
I feel like I've been here before.
Not in this place,
But in this state of mind.
Who doesn't lie sometimes?
I'm sorry
But I'm done
Done with living
The most important rule is
Don't ever cry, no matter what.
You're vunerable.
And you can't be vunerable in front of someone,
Not even yourself
You'll lose yourself.
Because as soon they see that they can break you
It'll drag you down so far you'll never get up
And if you don't show
You're balancing on the edge of the well
And the people who ask why you always look so sad
Are the ones that push you.
Rule number one.
I don't want to write, or do anything else. I have energy, but a lack of motivation. I don't care about my words anymore, they're just sentences smacked together. I want to dream. Just lucid dream, until the sun rises for the 5th time. Until you'll be mine.
Yeah, You're really easy to write about. Some people are hard to capture. Not because they aren't 'deep,' but because they just don't have that thing. That thing that makes you turn your head around again becuase you just want to have another look at those eyes. Maybe this will help explain. You have people, and some of those people are really good at writing. And some aren't. Now imagine if you take a really good writer, and someone who struggles with it, to write a poem that captures the beauty and feeling of, for example, a broken window. Someone who's good at writing, good at seing the beauty and the broken in things, can write it down with so much ease. On the contrary, someone who doesn't see it, it's way harder to write everything just about right down. I feel like I'm one of those people who can turn everything into poetry. And you said, you never expected someone to write about you. But I know, and I'm sure of it, that if you ever met another poet, they'd write about you too. Because every poet I know, would turn their head around too.
I sound stupid af but this dumb **** needed to get out.

Why do I feel like this?
Trapped in the open
A closed mind
How to escape
Soon, it'll be time
You could
We can't
What if I tell you
I don't understand
Catherine of Aragon                                                           ­            Divorced
Anne Boleyn                                                           ­                        Beheaded
Jane Seymour                                                          ­                                Died
Anna of Cleves                                                           ­                     Divorced
Catherine Howard                                                           ­              Beheaded
Catherine Parr                                                             ­                     Survived

Now we're Ex-Wives                                  

History's about to get                  

O v e r t h r o w n                                                                ­        

Let me tell you a story
Tha you think you've heard before                                  

Now we're, ex-wives

Divorced                                            ­                                            
Beheaded          ­                                                            
Died                                                          ­  

Welcome to the show,                                    
To The                                                    
H i s t o r e m i x                                            

Switching up the flow as we add the prefix                  

Everybody knows that we used to be six wives            

Get your hands up get this party   b u z z i n g            
You want a queen bee, well there's half a dozen            

Everybody knows that we used to be six wives
But now we're ex-wives

One                                                 ­                                       
Two                                                             ­                           
Three                                                           ­                           
Four                                 ­                                                       
Five     ­                                                                 ­                  
Six                                                           ­         

Can we all agree that I'm the 10 amongst these 3's?
How i'm the fool now
Thought I loved you
And i'm somehow
Not very sorry
For doing
This to
Your eyes are filled with heaven
Overthrown by hell
But with every 'I love you'
And every little victory
Hell dissolves a bit
For the past three months
I've been a close whitness of this journey
It was magic
Your eyes became a little clearer every day
They're still a little cloudy,
But beautiful
Your eyes sparkle like some starry night upon a river filled with moonlight like in all sappy love stories
You silence me every time
You are my Romeo
But with you I don't mind being Juliet
Let's leave this place and never come back
Weeks, months have passed
With you being mine
Yet I still can't describe how lucky I am
Romeo and Juliet ran away together, just to love
Which is a good reason for me though
But why don't we bend the rules a little?
And be Romeo and Romeo?
What do you say?
Happy three months mon amour. Can't wait for the next three. I love you bub.
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