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10h · 74
Note 311:
I just locked myself in a bathroom stall during our school break and cried, listening to 'Michael In The Bathroom' on repeat.

I don't think I'm okay anymore
A poem every day
20-1-20
10h · 25
Note 310:
**** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die **** **** **** **** **** **** me please **** **** i wanna die ****
A poem every day.
19-1-20
2d · 62
Note 309:
I miss you a little bit every day.

You make me feel lovesick.


everything seems so cliché when you haven't felt it yet




i miss you
it ******* *****

but what hurts the most is knowing that you don't miss me anymore



calling would be pointless now




i'm never getting you back,
no matter how ******* much i want that.


it's not like these stupid poems are gonna help.





so here, because you still deserve it.

I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. For whatever I did to you.


i know it won't make things the way they used to be but i hope that it can at least be alright




i'm waiting for ya
A poem every day.
18-1-20
3d · 380
Note 308:
This is my 500th poem here.
I really am a hopeless romantic.
A poem every day
17-1-20
3d · 54
Note 307:
everything i wanted - Billie Eilish

I had a dream
I got everything I wanted
Not what you'd think
And if I'm being honest
It might've been a nightmare
To anyone who might care
Thought I could fly (fly)
So I stepped off the golden, mm
Nobody cried (cried, cried, cried, cried)
Nobody even noticed
I saw them standing right there
Kinda thought they might care (might care, might care)
I had a dream
I got everything I wanted
But when I wake up, I see
You with me
And you say, "As long as I'm here
No one can hurt you
Don't wanna lie here
But you can learn to
If I could change
The way that you see yourself
You wouldn't wonder why you're here
They don't deserve you"
I tried to scream
But my head was underwater
They called me weak
Like I'm not just somebody's daughter
It could've been a nightmare
But it felt like they were right there
And it feels like yesterday was a year ago
But I don't wanna let anybody know
'Cause everybody wants something from me now
And I don't wanna let 'em down
I had a dream
I got everything I wanted
But when I wake up, I see
You with me
And you say, "As long as I'm here
No one can hurt you
Don't wanna lie here
But you can learn to
If I could change
The way that you see yourself
You wouldn't wonder why you're here
They don't deserve you"
If I knew it all then would I do it again?
Would I do it again?
If they knew what they said would go straight to my head
What would they say instead?
If I knew it all then would I do it again?
Would I do it again?
If they knew what they said would go straight to my head
What would they say instead?
A poem every day
17-1-20
5d · 158
Note 306:
I can't convey my feelings to paper
or a computer


                                                      I hide in song lyrics
A poem every day.
15-1-20
5d · 53
Note 305:
Big Empty - Stone Temple Pilots

Driving faster in my car
Falling farther from just what we are
Smoke a cigarette and lie some more
These conversations ****
Falling faster in my car

Time to take her home,
Her dizzy head is conscience laden
Time to take a ride it leaves today
No conversation
Time to take her home her dizzy head is
Conscience laden
Time to wait too long, to wait too long
To wait too long

Too much walking shoes worn thin
Too much trippin' and my soul's worn thin
Time to catch her ride it leaves today
Her name is what it means
Too much walking shoe worn thin
Time to take her home
Her dizzy head is conscience laden
Time to take a ride it leaves today
No conversation

Time to take her home her dizzy head is
Conscience laden
Time to wait too long, to wait too long
To wait too long

Conversations ****
Conversations ****
Conversations ****

Time to take her home,
Her dizzy head is conscience laden
Time to take a ride it leaves today
No conversation
Time to take her home her dizzy head is
Conscience laden
Time to wait too long, to wait too long
To wait too long

Conversations ****
Conversations ****
Conversations ****
A poem every day.
14-1-20
6d · 89
Note 304:
******* broken hearts - Billie Eilish

You can pretend you don't miss me (me)
You can pretend you don't care
All you wanna do is kiss me (me)
Oh what a shame I'm not there
You can pretend you don't miss me (me)
You can pretend you don't care
All you wanna do is kiss me (me)
Oh what a shame I'm not there
What is it you want?
You can lie but I know that you're not fine (oh yeah)
Every time you talk
You talk 'bout me but you swear I'm not on your mind
You can pretend you don't miss me (me)
You can pretend you don't care
All you wanna do is kiss me (me)
Oh what a shame I'm not there
Everybody knows
You and I are suicidal stolen art (oh yeah)
Pretty moments sews
Stitches into all your ******* broken hearts
You can pretend you don't miss me (me)
You can pretend you don't care
All you wanna do is kiss me (me)
Oh what a shame I'm not there
Somebody new
Is gonna comfort you
Like you want me to
Somebody new
Is gonna comfort me
Like you never do
Every now and then it hits me
That I'm the one that got away
But I guess being lonely fits me
And you were made for begging, stay
A poem every day.
13-1-20
Jan 12 · 84
Note 303:
Somebody that I used to know - Ables

"I don't even need your love, but you treat me like a stranger and that feels so wrong. Guessing I don't need that though, now you're just somebody that I used to know."
A poem every day.
12-1-20
Jan 11 · 88
Note 302:
I love you,
I promise.

I really do


Remember that, okay?



Whatever you'll hear about me






Just remember
A poem every day.
11-1-20
Jan 11 · 153
Note 301:
Rival - Ruelle


The tide is high
It's sink or swim
My only rival is within

Giants calling round the bend
My only rival is within

I won't let my demons win
My only rival is within
I will fight through thick and thin
My only rival is within

Kingdoms rise and kingdoms end
My only rival is within
This is where it all begins
My only rival is within

The tide is high
It's sink or swim
My only rival is within
A poem every day.
10-1-19
Jan 11 · 64
Note 300:
Thank you.
I'd be lost without y'all
A poem every day.
9-1-20
Jan 8 · 93
Note 299:
I'm in love with my car - Queen

Oh
The machine of a dream, such a clean machine
With the pistons a pumpin', and the hubcaps all gleam
When I'm holding your wheel
All I hear is your gear
With my hand on your grease gun
Mmm, it's like a disease, son
I'm in love with my car, gotta feel for my automobile
Get a grip on my boy racer roll bar
Such a thrill when your radials squeal
Told my girl I'll have to forget her
Rather buy me a new carburetor
So she made tracks saying this is the end, now
Cars don't talk back they're just four wheeled friends now
When I'm holding your wheel
All I hear is your gear
When I'm cruisin' in overdrive
Don't have to listen to no run of the mill talk jive
I'm in love with my car (love with my car), gotta feel for my automobile
I'm in love with my car (love with my car), string back gloves in my automolove
A poem every day.
8-1-20

yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEeee
Jan 7 · 59
Note 298:
listen before i go - Billie Eilish

Take me to the rooftop
I wanna see the world when I stop breathing, turning blue
Tell me love is endless, don't be so pretentious
Leave me like you do
If you need me, wanna see me
Better hurry 'cause I'm leaving soon
Sorry can't save me now
Sorry I don't know how
Sorry there's no way out (sorry)
But down
Hmm, down
Taste me, these salty tears on my cheeks
That's what a year-long headache does to you
I'm not okay, I feel so scattered
Don't say I'm all that matters
Leave me, déjà vu
If you need me, wanna see me
You better hurry, I'm leaving soon
Sorry can't save me now (sorry)
Sorry I don't know how (sorry)
Sorry there's no way out (sorry)
But down
Hmm, down
Call my friends and tell them that I love them
And I'll miss them
But I'm not sorry
Call my friends and tell them that I love them
And I'll miss them
Sorry
A poem every day
7-1-19
Jan 6 · 157
Note 297:
I had a good day. Some bad things happened, but I'm fine. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay. There's no reason to feel bad. You're okay.





You
Are
Fine
mirror talks

A poem every day
6-1-20
Jan 6 · 67
Note 296:
Not today,
but every day
A poem every day
5-1-20
Dear G,
It's becomming harder and harder to express my feelings, especially about/to you. I hope that the poems I recently posted are enough. Enough for just one sign. Nothing even has to happen. I don't even know what I want to know or hear. God, I'm really ******* helpless. I'm sorry. You deserve a good letter, from a normal person. One that has a poper end. I'm a mess, I'm sorry.
Sincerely, yours
Lillie
A poem every day
4-1-20
Jan 3 · 213
Note 294: Lonely
It's a weird kind of lonely I'm feeling.
Like I'm hugged by a dark emptiness, not your arms.
A poem every day
3-1-20
Jan 3 · 80
Note 293:
You keep asking me to be more honest, reveal more. You're stripping me down, piece by piece, but the thing is; I'm already naked. You're just hopelessly tearing off my skin because you so desperatly wanna find something that isn't there. I must say that I feel sorry for you. Forcing me to be so honest sometimes just forces me to lie more. At least you tried.
A poem every day.
2-1-20

This is for my parents.
Jan 3 · 52
Note 292:
Ah yes,
A new year to completely **** up.
I promised myself I wouldn't drink the next half decade.
I failed within the first three minutes
Happy new year
A poem every day
1-1-2020
Jan 3 · 109
Note 291:
The last day of the decade in which I grew up.
Funny. Every year felt like a decade itself.
A poem every day.
31-12-19
Jan 3 · 111
Note 290:
Solo - Clean Bandit

This solo, solo, everybody
This solo, everybody
This solo, solo, everybody
I never meant to leave you hurtin'
I never meant to do the worst thing
Not to you (this solo, solo, everybody)
'Cause every time I read your message
I wish I wasn't one of your exes
Now I'm the fool (this solo, solo, everybody)
Since you been gone
I've been dancing on my own
There's boys up in my zone
But they can't turn me on
'Cause baby, you're the only one I'm coming for
I can't take no more, no more, no more
I wanna f-woop, woop woop, but I'm broken hearted
Cr-cr-cry but I like to party
T-t-touch but I got nobody
Here on my own
I wanna f-woop, woop woop, but I'm broken hearted
Cr-cr-cry since the day we parted
T-t-touch but I got nobody
So I do it solo
This solo, solo, everybody
This solo, everybody
This solo, solo, everybody
So I do it solo
This solo, solo, everybody
This solo, everybody
This solo, solo, everybody
I do it solo
Every single night I lose it
I can't even hear the music without you (it solo, solo, everybody)
Ah, yeah, yeah
Try to stop myself from calling
But I really wanna know if you're with someone new (it solo, solo, everybody)
Since you been gone
I've been dancing on my own
There's boys up in my zone
But they can't turn me on
'Cause baby, you're the only one I'm coming for
I can't take no more, no more, no more
I wanna f-woop, woop woop, but I'm broken hearted
Cr-cr-cry but I like to party
T-t-touch but I got nobody
Here on my own
I wanna f-woop, woop woop, but I'm broken hearted
Cr-cr-cry since the day we parted
T-t-touch but I got nobody
So I do it solo
This solo, solo, everybody
This solo, everybody
This solo, solo, everybody
I do it solo
This solo, solo, everybody
This solo, everybody
This solo, solo, everybody
So do it solo
Can't do it solo
I wanna f-woop, woop woop, but I'm broken hearted
Cr-cr-cry but I like to party
T-t-touch but I got nobody
Here on my own (here on my own)
I wanna f-woop, woop woop, but I'm broken hearted
Cr-cr-cry since the day we parted
T-t-touch but I got nobody
So I do it solo
This solo, solo, everybody
This solo, everybody
This solo, solo, everybody
I do it solo
This solo, solo, everybody
This solo, everybody
This solo, solo, everybody
I do it solo
So I do it solo
A poem every day
30-12-19
Jan 3 · 73
Note 289:
I'm sorry guys,
My internet failed hellopoetry
I'll post the missing notes today
A poem every day
29-12-19
Dec 2019 · 245
Note 288:
I'm supposed to be healthy.

I work out daily,
My eating habits are normal,
I'm physically healthy,
My grades can be fixed,
My mental health is becomming better,
I'm in a loving, non-toxic relationship,
The connection to my family is alright,
I'm close with my friends.
I have a lot of hobby's and interests
I don't feel empty most of the time.

Why, Why, Do I Not Feel Okay?
A poem every day
28-12-19

c'mon brain, be smart, think of things brain, c'mon
Dec 2019 · 206
Note 287:
...                                                              ­    




empty




                                              ­                  ...
A poem every day
27-12-19
Dec 2019 · 116
For Alex
Your eyes are filled with heaven
Overthrown by hell
But with every 'I love you'
And every little victory
Hell dissolves a bit
For the past three months
I've been a close whitness of this journey
It was magic
Your eyes became a little clearer every day
They're still a little cloudy,
But beautiful
Your eyes sparkle like some starry night upon a river filled with moonlight like in all sappy love stories
You silence me every time
You are my Romeo
But with you I don't mind being Juliet
Let's leave this place and never come back
Weeks, months have passed
With you being mine
Yet I still can't describe how lucky I am
Romeo and Juliet ran away together, just to love
Which is a good reason for me though
But why don't we bend the rules a little?
And be Romeo and Romeo?
What do you say?
Happy three months mon amour. Can't wait for the next three. I love you bub.
Dear G,

It's been a while since we last talked, although we've been messaging indirectly (like this) somehow. That's better than nothing, but still. Knowing that you remember me feels good, since I haven't passed a single day without thinking of you. At least I'm not invisible to you. Like I've said to myself to many times; Letting you go was one of the dumbest mistakes I ever made. It was my own mistake, and I'm sorry.
I can't explain why I left you (yet. someday I will) but I hope that that doesn't stop you from being amazing at what you're doing.
I think that the thing that hurts the most, is not knowing how you're actually doing. The only way I ever hear something from you is stuff on HelloPoetry and via anime memes on your instagram story. Looking at the poems you posted, you're doing better. I don't know if I should be happy or not with that. I probably should, I want you to be happy.
I'm not begging you to get back with me, be friends again or even talk to me. (There would be to much to discuss anyways) Hell, I'd never wanna see myself again. But still,  nothing ventured, nothing gained. Maybe, when you're ready, if you ever will be, or already are, consider it. Consider reviving what we had.

Sincerely, yours

Lillie
A poem every day
26-12-19

I'm sorry. If it doesn't **** you, just, call or text me? I'm not okay and you need a proper apology. Not like this.
Dec 2019 · 108
Note 285:
Force yourself upon me
Push me down with all your strength
Let me be your prisoner

Lock me down and hold me still
Silence me against my own will

Tie me to your bedframe and we can play together for hours

Love my body the way you love my mind
Don't be tender,   don't be shy      (we're all gonna die)


If you can be so toxic to mind
Why aren't you like that   in real life?

Force your way into my body
No matter how bad you'll hurt me
If this means I get to hold you
I just want to taste you,  can't  you  see?

Take me,
Taste me,
Hold me hostage

Throw the dice, dear.
Before your time is up

before
               I
                    lose
                               my
                                        patience
A poem every day
25-12-19
Dec 2019 · 91
Butterfly
Graciously flies the butterfly
Through the morning sun and night
She picks the prettiest flowers in the field
With a touch so soft and light

Silently flies the butterfly
All across the garden
She keeps the flowers safe all day
She is their gatekeeper, their warden

Softly flies the butterfly
Tenderly she touches every flower
She'll never be tired of her company
She loves them every minute, every hour

Carelessly lands the butterfly
Right there on my shoulder
She looks at me as if to say;
"Don't ever grow older."
Every minute without you feels like an hour. Time is passing so slow with nothing to run on. I haven't aged a single day. It's meaningless without you.
Dec 2019 · 89
Note 284:
I'm a sucker for your poetry.
Maybe that's because it's the only way you're still in my life.
It went downhill after I left ya.
I don't even have your number anymore,
But you know me. It's engraved in my memory. My courage isn't though. I need to look for that first.

P.S. The picture is ugly and I love it.
A poem every day.
24-12-19
Dec 2019 · 83
Note 283:
》It's been three months, and I still don't know your name.
A poem every day.
23-12-19
Dec 2019 · 139
Note 282:
If you wanna know,
There's still a picture of you in my room.
I just always tell people it's because my best friend is on it too.
Little do they know.
A poem every day.
22-12-19
Dec 2019 · 171
Note 281:
I still keep waiting every day
For one of your poems to appear,
Because that's all I have left of you now.
A poem every day
21-12-19
Just because it didn't last forever,
Doesn't mean it was a mistake.
That goes for a lot of things
You are not a bad person. That's the first.
We have all commited wrong in some way.
If good doesn't last, why should our sins?
Can we let them go the next day?

I can see myself in you,
I understand how you feel.
But you don't have to feel that.
The bad things, they don't have to be real,

You once told me that you live in your mind,
That you create the world in your head.
So I have to ask you,
Why, why, do you make it so bad?

Life is a struggle, not only your mind
But you're not chained, you're not bound.
You don't have to be a "bad" person.
Stay with me. We'll be found.
Dec 2019 · 81
Note 280:
Dear G,

I'm sorry. That's all there is to it. I wrote maybe a hundred sentences, but honestly? That's just *******. I tried to tell you in many ways, and here's another try.
I really am sorry.

Sincerely, yours
Lillie
A poem every day.
20-12-19
Dec 2019 · 224
Note 279:
It's the last day of school today.
I saw you walking in the hallway,
And you gave me a quick kiss.
The world really doesn't like us together,
Does it?
But I now know what I want this year,
The only christmas present I'll need.
I think I'll wish for you this time,
And pray that the world will let you keep being mine.
A poem every day.
19-12-19
Dec 2019 · 150
Note 278:
My apologies, for not writing the way I used to. I've said it a lot, but still. Writing changed me as a person, and a big part of my life. Yet, I can't find the strength to write anymore. I'm sorry for that. I try to keep up with everything at a pace that's not too slow to fall behind, but not fast. It's just not working out. I need to figue stuff out and find inspiration. When I had to do that, writing was my escape, now it's a burden. I want to keep writing, but it's getting a little harder every day. This is not a goodbye. Hopefully y'all understand it a bit better now. I'll try my best.
Sincerely, GSG
A poem every day
18-12-19
Dec 2019 · 122
Note 278:
Not today
A poem every day
18-12-19
Dec 2019 · 65
Note 277:
Every time I see you
I spark up a little
And I'm really not supposed to

I can't miss you
Cause we haven't been together
But somehow, I still do

I wanna love you a bit more every day
And it's quite a killer,
Knowing that you don't wanna stay

I want you, you don't want me
That's the way things are
And how they'll always be.

Not telling you is fine,
I've dealt with that for ages.
But I still want you to be mine.

I'm suprised you still don't know by now.
That you don't see that I want you.
So I have to ask you one question; How?
A poem every day
17-12-19

How can I love you when I love everything else already?
Dec 2019 · 221
Note 276:
"Write a poem about snakes because they're adorable boopers"

sneaky snek
looking for maus
i see snek
i boop

{Hope you're happy now}
A poem every day
16-12-19
Dec 2019 · 101
Note 275:
"Write one about our French teacher"

Oui oui bonjour
Like I care about your class
I'm really not interested in French
Oh, this period is finished, alas!
A poem every day
15-12-19
Dec 2019 · 44
Note 274:
I asked my friends for inspiration and here's what I got...

"Ukuleles zijn kut"

"*****"

"Ukuleles zijn vals"
A poem every day
14-12-19

We need to get back to actual poetry.
Dec 2019 · 83
Note 273:
For the first time in a while
I felt comfortable with me
And I could show my true identity
So that everyone could see
A poem every day.
13-12-19
Dec 2019 · 123
Note 272:
e5tsregcvsdfrthacsdhg bgfnmvs dgetdfn,sdfccvhnwcgncrhnhnwbwtghwdfhvnovnkvnkevnksnksegnkseniwdfe­vn lhtmeu4xqp8
A poem every day.
12-12-19
Dec 2019 · 102
Note 271:
My diary is in "crypted."
Every letter is a different sign.
I guess I don't want anyone to read my diary
I want to keep telling them I'm fine.
A poem every day.
11-12-19


If they can't read my diary (I hate diaries) they can't see if I'm alright or not. It's pretty sad.
Dec 2019 · 225
Note 270:
I wanted to draw what dissociating felt like
But there still was an empty paper
A poem every day.
10-12-19
Dec 2019 · 92
Note 269:
Study
Study
Study
Eat
Sleep
LEAVE
A poem every day
09-12-19
Dec 2019 · 77
Note 268:
For everyone who needs it. Y'all better take care of yourselves, I love you.

First thing, If you think you're going to self-harm, make sure that there are people around. Meet up with a friend, walk around town, go to a shop, or even just go into the living room with your family. If you're not alone, you can't self-harm. You can also call a friend, whatever it takes to not be alone.

Second, listen to some music, watch a movie. Silence is a killer. Put on some relaxing piano music if you're having a kind of anxiety attack. If you're not being that anxious, maybe listen to some of your favorite (upbeat, happy) songs. You don't even have to sing along.

Smiling. Smiling, even forced, actually makes you feel better. Look in the mirror and tell yourself you look beautiful, that your smile is great, and give yourself some compliments. Even a little. Just, smile?

Writing it down helps too. Even if it's stupid. Just, write down whatever. Not just your feelings, but things like jokes, happy song lyrics, something nice someone said to you, whatever.

If you have an instrument, play it. Just, pluck the chords or smash some random keys. Same with drawing, you don't have to be good at it, just draw. You have to be busy, and actually do things physically.

Working out could help too. You'll be fit, and you'll feel better.

Draw/paint/write on the place you want to harm. Make happy stuff there, so you'll be reminded of good things.

Analyze movies, songs, beats, behaviour of people on soaps, whatever.

Do chores. Another "keep busy" thing, but it works. Your house/room will be clean, which will make you feel better. If you can't clean, just organize something.

Make yourself some food or a nice drink.
Focus on different things.
(Or message me of course)

If you really can't resist the urge;
You can shoot an elastic band at your arm or rub paper against your skin.

If you eventually end up harming yourself with scissors, a knife, razor blades, whatever. MAKE SURE IT'S CLEAN. I can't stress it enough. If you decide to self-harm, you don't want it to infect.

What NOT to do;
- Shower. (You'll see all the places you wanna harm, there are razor blades around and sitting in the shower for too long will make you feel sad)
-Listen to sad songs. (They'll make you feel worse)
-Lie down. (If you're active, you're more likely to be happy. Don't lie down. You'll sink down, mentally and physically. Even if you just stand up and walk around the house that'll make you feel better)
A poem every day
08-12-19
Dec 2019 · 166
Note 267:
I believe that these poems changed me,
That they changed the way I view the world.
I believe they changed the way I think of things,
And the way my feelings wirl.
I just don't know in what way they changed me yet,
And I want to figure it out. Will you help me with that?


A poem every day.
07-12-19
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