sleep apnea without sleep,
suffocation in a land of pure air,
laughter to a joke never told,
shame for things never done.

commitment to someone never met,
hatred for myself who never blossomed,
disgust by lack of talent never cultivated.

longing for situations that will never happen,
forgiveness to people who have been hurt,
pity for the wrong.

confusion paradox, numbness,
and until i see the burning filter i won't stop.
do i exist? i havent dropped a word in days.

gods, help me, i am stuck between the real and my dream.
yet, there is always a crossing of these two -
in both i am alone.