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May 2014 · 451
you in particular?
Yael May 2014
I don't know if I'm in love with you
Or the idea of you

*And that terrifies me
Yael May 2014
Every time I see you with her
Another star in my supercluster of hopes
**Burns
Out
Yael May 2014
I want to tear my flesh off
And break my rib cage open
And pull my heart out
To stop this awful pain

I want to fall off the edge of a cliff
Arms stretched out wide
And hit the ground silently
And never ever be found

I want to drown in deep blue waves
Have them pull me down deeper
Because their suffocation
Wouldn't hurt me like you do

I want you to understand what you do to me
And see how much it hurts
I want you to vow to never do so again
And help me fix my wounded soul
May 2014 · 440
its hard to get over
Yael May 2014
I can hear you voice in my head,
Clear as a summer day,
Speaking those dreadul words I heard so long ago

And I flinch
Just as I did when your words first slapped me in the face
Apr 2014 · 6.4k
cold shoulder
Yael Apr 2014
Your back is turned to me
And I am freezing cold

But I won't cover up,
Hoping your warm arms will reach out to me again
Apr 2014 · 1.5k
Subconscious
Yael Apr 2014
I finally got rid of my anxiety
Only to have it attack me
In my dreams
Apr 2014 · 2.1k
penny in a well
Yael Apr 2014
I am like a penny in a well
Falling for forever
Yet filled with hopes and wishes
Apr 2014 · 414
great perhaps
Yael Apr 2014
This great perhaps of me and you
Leaves my vision blurred,
For the tears in my eyes and the ache of my heart
Burn like stars thousands of galaxies away
Apr 2014 · 507
Appartment
Yael Apr 2014
If only we lived in a  movie
In a cute little flat
That our lives and love revolved around
I think I'd like that

I'd walk through the door
And kiss your smiling face
You'd hold me tight
In a warm embrace

In the living room
There'd always be calm Beatles music playing
And to those songs
We'd be romantically swaying

In the bedroom we'd lie
Intetwined beneath white sheets so thin
Sunlight streaming through the window
Warming our bare skin

In that bed
We could make sweet, tender love
Or maybe cuddle, or just kiss
Or all of the above

In the kitchen I'd stand
Making pancakes on a sunny sunday morn
You'd stand behind me with your arms around my waist
Messy bedhead your face will adorn

You'd strum your guitar
And sing me my favourite songs
And you'd know I can't sing
So I'd just hum along

Maybe we'd have a cat
And we could name her Nyx
And we can make vows to love eachother
Upon the River Styx

This place could be a safe haven
For just me and you
No one would bother us
For it was just built for two

We could have all of this
And maybe even more,
If only you didn't see me
As just a silly little girl
I honestly almost titled this one "this could be us but you playin" but I decided against it. I think this is one I'm proudest of so far
Apr 2014 · 1.4k
availability
Yael Apr 2014
Maybe I only think I want you
Because you're the only one
Who's likely available to me
But you're not him
And I can't take advantage of you like that
Yael Apr 2014
It vexes me
How everytime I wear makeup
They ask in a sing-song voice who I'm trying to impress
*as if I can't just wear it for myself
Apr 2014 · 432
your favourite band
Yael Apr 2014
As this Beatles song comes on the radio,
All I can think of
Is you humming the melody in my ear,
Your arm around my shoulders
He loves the Beatles
Apr 2014 · 446
Untitled 8w
Yael Apr 2014
Hold me, lover
Just a little bit longer
Apr 2014 · 497
Untitled
Yael Apr 2014
I* guess cupid missed and hit me instead of *you
Apr 2014 · 1.0k
to a past lover
Yael Apr 2014
But late at night
When its all dark and quiet
And you can't sleep
Am I ever on your mind
Like you are on mine?
Hey guess what? It's dark and quiet and I can't sleep and I'm thinking about him rn -_-
Yael Apr 2014
I have three and a half dark-haired fellows of ardor

The first
Plays guitar like an angel does a harp
Watches the same nerdy tv shows as I do
His smile lights up any room.

The second
Is the star of drama class
Is one of the friendliest guys I know
His smile lights up any room.

The third
I dont talk to much
My friend fancies his too
His smile lights up any room.

And the half...
He broke my heart long ago
But I somehow find myself thinking of him late at night, when all is quiet and dark
His smile lights up any room.
Idk...
Apr 2014 · 3.2k
first kiss
Yael Apr 2014
Warm night air
You hold me tight
Summer breeze
I shiver, but from shock
You give me your sweater

Between kisses
You say I'm
Beautiful
Perfect
No one matters but me
And I believe you

I want more of you
All of you
To be mine

I stand on my tip-toes to reach your lips
Pink
Soft
Perfect
And your tongue grazes mine

We pause for air
Then pull eachother closer
And resume kissing
Only more feircely this time

I almost whisper i love you...
Good thing I don't...

The next day
We were too awkward to talk
Or even look at eachother
You didn't even say 'good morning'

The day after that
You asked me to dance
But I was still confused
And made excuses to leave

The day after that one
I was finally ready to face you.
I was expecting grandiose declerations of love
Only to receive
"You're not even that pretty"
"You're so hard to read"
"Nothing can happen between us"
And my heart shatters

First kiss...
The affair is heaven
The aftermath was hell
This is kinda a personal one, but then again they all are...
Apr 2014 · 792
Apologies to Dad
Yael Apr 2014
A while ago,
I looked at a picture of me as a baby,
Being help in my father's arms,
Like a blanket of safety.

The child smiles up at the dad,
New eyes full or wonder,
You'd never believe,
Her happiness would plunder.

The father looks down at her,
With eyes full of love and hope,
You'd never believe,
They'd come across anything with which they couldn't cope.

He had two other daughters,
And was exited for the third,
Over his three little girls,
There was nothing he preferred.

He looked at her like she was his everything,
His sun, moon, and stars,
But since then, my friend,
We have come quite far.

As I looked at this picture,
I sobbed and wiped a tear from my eye,
For to say she stayed perfect,
Would be an outright lie.

As I cried I whispered apologies over and over,
For now I doubt that he still loves her.

Dad, I'm so sorry,
The last thing I meant in the world,
Was to **** up so bad,
And hurt your precious little baby girl.
Apr 2014 · 2.4k
spring
Yael Apr 2014
Spring, spring
Its my favourite thing!
The sun shines and the birds spread their wings.

Spring, spring
to this weather I want to cling
For I hate the frigid, cold wintery sting

Spring, spring
I feel like a kid on a swing
Happier than a woman receiving an engagement ring

Spring, spring
It makes me want to sing
Because of the hope in my life that it does bring
I just really like spring. **** winter
Apr 2014 · 581
you don't know someone
Yael Apr 2014
you don't know someone
not truly
not even your best friend.
you think you do but you don't.
you think they tell you everything,
because you tell them everything,
but they don't.
you read the words of the poems they spew out at 3 am
and you're left wondering what brought about those words.
you want to hold them
and ask them about those words of
depression
anxiety
sadness
suicide
distrust
but you know they wont tell you.
you want to make sure they know you love them
and they are dear to you
but you don't know how.
today i learned i don't truly know my best friend
after reading her words
but how can i make her trust me enough to open up to me?
how can you know someone?
babe you know ** you are. I love you <33

— The End —