Every time she take a good look of her old pictures

All she could remember is pain
All she could remember is violence
All she could remember is bad words

She wants to remember a happy memory
But she couldn't

Because she didn't have one and
Because the pain last
While the happiness gone

At least,
She knows how the end will be

At least,
She has more time to heal, more time to build walls  on her heart when the end comes

At least,
Someday, shee will stop being the victim and start to be the main role of her own story

At least,
There will be no screams and the sound of slamming door

At least,
It just gonna be another sad memories

At least,
It just gonna be another trauma that she has to live with

Right at the corner of the street
An antique store lights it bulb
I went it
My eyes stuck at the shiny matroyshka doll

The owner stood up
And gave me the doll

The 1st doll look so happy
There is sparkle in its eyes and the smile shines as bright as the star who lights up the darkness of the night

I open the 2nd doll
It smiles without any sparkle on its eyes
It smiles as if it has no soul

I open the 3rd doll
It has no expression
It doesn't look happy or sad either

As my head is spinning around
I look and open the 4th doll
With the sad look on its face
I start to realize that something is off

Then I open the last one
And i feel like I'm watching myself

A broken pieces doll

Deep in my heart
I feel like it is me

I smile as bright as the sun like the first doll
While I'm actually broken inside like the last doll

she kept looking and changing clothes
clothes that can cover the scars of her friend
friends that is always there when she need someone

a sharp metal thing, that she uses to cut her body
a pair of hand, that she uses to slap and punch
a match, that she uses to feel the heat

the friends, that always leaves mark
so she can remember that she always have a bestfriend who will always be there for her

the blood,
the bruises,
the burn mark

that three,
are the reminder of her bestfriend's existence

The cold breeze is the reflection of how cold my soul is

The tangled thread is the reflection of how jumble my mind is

The empty canvas is the reflection of how blank my stares are

The rusty chain is the reflection of how weak my faith is

The glass is the reflection of how fragile my heart is