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Jun 2020 · 47
it hurts.
Erin Johnson Jun 2020
you tell me these things to hurt me, i act like it doesnt but when i lie in bed to fall asleep all thats circiling in my mind is what you tell me. soon i'll start to believe it.

"you're worthless"
"you're fat"
"you're not loved"
"i hate you"
"go die"
"nobody likes you"

maybe its true..
Oct 2019 · 65
Erin Johnson Oct 2019
red is the blood of the victim
yellow is the colour of the sun that lights our world
pink can take us back to childhood memories
green is the colour of the grass we walk upon
purple is often associated with royalty and power
orange is often associated with saints and represents courage
blue is the colour of our sky we live under
Oct 2019 · 92
this girl
Erin Johnson Oct 2019
shes nice
she deserves the world
i think ive fallen for her
today i officially made this girl mine
Oct 2019 · 119
Erin Johnson Oct 2019
the truth lies behind our words.
people hide things for others to find.
its all hidden.
everything is hidden at least once in their life.
we dont want people to find our things so we hide it.
its all hidden.
Jun 2019 · 114
Erin Johnson Jun 2019
everything we do
everything we say
it reflects
it suggests
it shows who we are
Apr 2019 · 123
Erin Johnson Apr 2019
What did i do?
why did i do it?
How did it happen?
why did it happen?
to me? of all people

How did you fall for me?
when all i am..
is an ugly girl,
who knows nothing about love.
Apr 2019 · 195
After death
Erin Johnson Apr 2019
We want to die
do we know what's after death?
like really know?
I'm scared to know..
really i am
What could there be?
Where do we go?
Apr 2019 · 830
There is a girl
Erin Johnson Apr 2019
You see there is this girl
she is tall
She's­ perfect,
well for me.
You see,
we bearly talk,
rarely see eachother
but i'm in love
with this girl..
This amazing girl.
Mar 2019 · 273
Erin Johnson Mar 2019
I'd love to tell you how i feel
about my day
But you don't care
you ripped my heart out
you don't care

You brusied me
tortured me
For what?
your fun
I hate you
why did i get with you?
Feb 2019 · 124
Erin Johnson Feb 2019
I know i don't say:
"i love you"
I know i don't ask
"are you okay?"
I know i don't ask
"how was your day?"

I wish i could say:
"i love you"
but i don't
I wish i could say
"Are you okay?"
I wish i could ask
"How was your day?"

But i can't because you're never home.

I wish you'd say:
"i love you"
I wish you'd say:
"are you okay?"
I wish you'd say:
"how was your day?"

But you don't. I need you and you're never there.
I'm done.
Feb 2019 · 76
There was a boy
Erin Johnson Feb 2019
There was this boy
i used to know.
He has shiny brown hair
Sparkling blue eyes
An average nose.

I bumped into him on a cold winter day
walking along the streets.
I was 11
he was 16
He apologized
i was okay.

We continued walking side by side
bumping into each other sometimes
i was fine.

His smile lit up the world
it reached his eyes
and i could tell
he really meant it
i wasn't okay

That was the day i fell in love
with some guy i used to know
Feb 2019 · 108
Erin Johnson Feb 2019
You hurt me
You bruise me
You torture me
You hate me

You say I hurt you
I bruise you
I torture you
I hate you

If I do where's
Your hurt
Your bruises
Your torture
Your hate?

I hurt you trying to get away
I bruise myself trying to escape
I torture myself for staying
I hate myself for being with you

But I still stay with you
Because i'm scared
I'm scared of you
of them
and of me
I stay because i think
what will happen if i leave?
what will you do?
Well i know the answer
you'll hunt me down,
Bruise me,
hit me,
lock me in the cupboard for being bad and try to **** me.

I cover up to hide it
I cover up because i'm scared
I cover up so no one sees

Everyone thinks we're perfect
they think you're good
they think we're in love
they're wrong

You hurt me so bad i don't know why i'm still alive
each time you hurt me i curl up in a ball crying waiting for it to be over.
I'm done.
I'm done with your hurt
I'm done with your bruises
I'm done with your torture
I'm done with your hate
I'm done with you
Forever. Goodbye..
Feb 2019 · 261
Erin Johnson Feb 2019
I know what I do
always effects you
I know what I do
always hurts you
I know what I love
you hate
I know what I hate
you love

You know what you do
doesn't help me
You know what you do
messes me up
You know what you do
always hurts me
You know what you love
I hate
You know what you hate
I love

I know we're different but we learn
to grow
to learn
to be different

I never gave you an invitation to hurt me
you never gave me one either
I never gave you permission to love me
neither did you
It just happened
we fell in love
at the wrong time
in the wrong place
but still
we fell in love
Just you
and me
Jan 2019 · 402
Can you see the pattern?
Erin Johnson Jan 2019
You talk
I listen
I talk
You don’t

You boss me around
I listen
I boss you around
You don’t

You tell me you hate me
I listen
I tell you I love you
You don’t

You break up with me
I listen
I want to get back with you
You don’t

You beat me
I listen
I yell at you
You don’t

You hurt me
I take it
I hurt you
You don’t

You see, because you’re a male it doesn’t give you the right to always hurt me and think you don’t have to do anything.
Female’s are 10 times smarter
10 times better
And 10 times nicer
Than most males.
Just because we’re females doesn’t mean we can’t do a mans job. Just because you’re males doesn’t mean you can’t do a females job.
Try being a female and we’ll try being a male for a day
Dec 2018 · 274
Erin Johnson Dec 2018
His hair glistens like the sun
His eyes are ocean blue
His laugh is heard from a mile away
His heart is made of gold
He’s mine
Only mine
I love him with all my heart
Dec 2018 · 200
I've been thinking..
Erin Johnson Dec 2018
I've been thinking..
Is this real life or is it fantasy?
I've been thinking..
I'm having such a good time you probably shouldn't stop me.
I've been thinking..
I promise you I do love you, but you see
I've loved you for to long..
Our love is slowly killing us..
I've been thinking..
Although our love will be forever..
We should part ways..
You see I've been thinking..
There are some quotes from Queen in this :)
Dec 2018 · 345
Erin Johnson Dec 2018
We could be free
Isn't that what you want?
To be free?
Nov 2018 · 152
Opposites attract
Erin Johnson Nov 2018
I like you
You hate me

I love books
You hate them

I hate school
You love it

I love to drive
You hate it

I love to travel
You hate it

I guess what I'm trying to say is Opposites attract
Nov 2018 · 148
We're meant to be
Erin Johnson Nov 2018
"We're just meant to be" I tell you
"I just don't see it" you say
"Look I'll show you"

I chose you
You chose me

She chose you
You chose me

He chose her
She chose you

You chose me
I chose you

You see what I mean?
We're just meant to be
Nov 2018 · 195
To My King
Erin Johnson Nov 2018
As life goes on
I realize how much you truly mean
Your laugh
Your smile
Your kiss
Your eyes
Your everything. period.

You've loved and lost
Not loved at all
Been beaten
And bashed

But somehow you've always got
That smile glued to your lips
You draw me in

You're like the king
I'm like the peasant
Except for when I'm with you
You're the King
And I feel like the queen
So here I say thank you for everything
Nov 2018 · 92
Erin Johnson Nov 2018
Sometimes I need a,
A hug.
Sometimes I need a,
Sometimes I need a,
Sometimes I need a,
Bit of space.
Sometimes I need,
Sometimes I need,
Sometimes I need,

Sometimes you're not,
Sometimes you're not,
Sometimes I can't find,
Sometimes I,

Sometimes you,
Love me.
Sometimes you,
Sometimes you,
Never even talk to me.

Let me tell you something..
Sometimes isn't enough,
At times it needs to be all the time or at least
Most the time

Don't call me and say,
"Sometimes I'm busy" or
"Sometimes we won't be together"

I'm sick of it.
I'm fine to be with you sometimes, really I am.
But whenever you're sad,
You expect me to be there.

Whenever I'm sad,
Where are you?
Let me guess,
At your side chick's place
While I need comfort.

Sometimes it isn't enough.
Nov 2018 · 218
Erin Johnson Nov 2018
Razors are pain
Rivers are damp
Acids stain you
And drugs cause cramp
Guns aren't lawful
Nooses give
Gas smells awful
You might as well live
Nov 2018 · 2.1k
Fake Love
Erin Johnson Nov 2018
She's a strong
Cup of black coffee
In a world
That's drunk
On cheap wine
And fake love
Nov 2018 · 178
There I was
Erin Johnson Nov 2018
I was at the edge of the cliff
Ready to jump
I looked at you
Hoping you'd try to stop me
You looked at me and sighed
Because you were tired
Of trying to help me
By the time you took a single step forward
I was already plummeting
Towards the ground.

Everytime I told you I was going to commit suicide I didn't end up doing it.
This time I did and you didn't help
Nov 2018 · 447
Erin Johnson Nov 2018
They say you went peacefully
And I keep thinking
That you wouldn't have
Ended your life
If you had
Even the smallest bit of peace

I miss you so much sometimes
I feel like I can't breathe

And I don't have all the answers
But I know that people die
Long before they stop being alive
Some of us are just
Going through the motions
Some of us are still breathing
But that's all we do

I miss you so much sometimes
I feel like I don't want to breathe
I got this from Makayla Jane btw.

For Justin we miss you baby
Nov 2018 · 130
Erin Johnson Nov 2018
I love you
Because its been so good
For so long
That if I didn't love you
I'd have to be born again
And that's not a theological statement
I'm pitiful in my love for you
Nov 2018 · 560
Erin Johnson Nov 2018
Griffins are red,
Ravens are blue,
Your heart is the snitch,
I chase on a broom.

As time goes on,
I'll remind you well,
I love you. Always,
The unbreakable spell.

Love always
Nov 2018 · 87
Erin Johnson Nov 2018
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Leave me alone,
Or I'll **** you!

I'll grab a knife,
Slice your throat,
And stab you in the back like you did to me
I apologize if this doesn't actually rhyme.
Nov 2018 · 911
Erin Johnson Nov 2018
Some slash their wrists,
Ingest a bottle of pills,
Jump off a high-rise building,
Hang themselves or
Blow their brains off.
And In that moment while they're bleeding to death,
Closing their eyes for the last time,
Hanging lose in the air,
About to let their weight drop,
And let that,
Bullet pierce through their skull.
Are moments they feel the most alive.
Maybe suicide is meant for that
So very "special moment"
To feel alive,
Just once before,
You cease to exist.
Nov 2018 · 89
Erin Johnson Nov 2018
Can't run from it
Always a step behind
The worst is I'm trapped
In my own mind

The end is near
I can't keep trying
Stop asking if I'm okay
I'm tired of lying

My fake smile is getting heavy
Eyes can't hold back
My mind has won
Tired of living in the Black

Going to the motions
It's almost time to quit
Most fear death
But others pray for it
I guess I'm one of those who pray
Nov 2018 · 338
Long Distance..
Erin Johnson Nov 2018
I wrap myself in a blanket,
And pretend it's your arms.
Because maybe if you were here,
Things wouldn't be so hard.

I rest my head on my pillow,
And pretend it's your chest.
Because maybe if you were here,
My heart would ache less.

I close my eyes and sigh,
And pretend these miles don't exist.
Because they overwhelm me,
All I want is to feel your kiss.
Nov 2018 · 177
I don't know..
Erin Johnson Nov 2018
I don't know why I'm so stupid..
I don't know why I'm so sad..
I  don't know why I'm alive..
I don't know anything..
I don't know..
Oct 2018 · 75
I'm scared
Erin Johnson Oct 2018
I'm scared of all those voices
Inside my head
They scream to hell
They could bring me to death
I can't let them win
But I'm just so tired
Tired of this life
So tired to flight
I just wanna let go
Close my eyes
Take a deep breath
And sink into unconsciousness
After all
Wasn't I born to die?
Oct 2018 · 234
A suicide note,
Erin Johnson Oct 2018
If you haven't noticed
The scars on my hips
Or the fake smile on my lips
Or the force laugh I've adopted
Or the way I don't care
About the things I used to love
Then don't you dare
Stand at my grave and cry

My question is..
How can you cry
For someone you don't even know?
Oct 2018 · 180
My First Cut
Erin Johnson Oct 2018
The cut wasn't deep,
No blood was shed,
It was just the pain,
Of scratches on my leg,
Leaning against the wall,
Leaning till I fall,
Crying on the floor,
Not because of simple pain,
But because of the emotions,
I have to endure.

Letting it all out,
Till I feel empty inside,
This was just the beginning,
Of what I have to hide,
Hiding behind my smile,
Is ever so tough,
Now hiding behind my long sleeves,
Is going to be rough...
Oct 2018 · 291
What They Say
Erin Johnson Oct 2018
People say you’re not popular
People say you’re not nice
People say you don’t fit in
People say you want to be like them
They say that because In reality
You’re popular
You’re nice
You fit in

Watch out because:
You may think your friend is loyal
You may think your friend cares
You may think your friend is there for you
But that my friend is where you’re wrong

All your friend wants is:
To be popular
To be nice
To fit in
To be like you
Because in reality they don’t
They aren’t like you in any way
Be careful I say.
Oct 2018 · 97
I'm the girl
Erin Johnson Oct 2018
I'm the girl others talk out of suicide,
But has a hard time doing the same for herself
She truthfully assures everyone how beautiful, lovely, wonderful and Precious they all are, because she doesn't want them to feel the same Way she does. The opposite.
Oct 2018 · 761
What i do..
Erin Johnson Oct 2018
I fall to fast,
Crash to hard,
Forgive to easily,
And care to much
Oct 2018 · 101
I want
Erin Johnson Oct 2018
I want to scream
I want to cry
I want to cut
I want to die.
Oct 2018 · 248
Erin Johnson Oct 2018
If I'm honest. I'm afraid of death
But I want to die.
I wonder everyday
Is anyone else who wants to die scared of death or is it just me?

I'm afraid of what will happen when I die
Like honestly what actually happens when we die?
I'm afraid to know
I'm afraid to see
I'm afraid..
I need help
But I'm afraid
I need someone who cares
But I'm afraid
I try to put on a brave face but I can't
I'm afraid
The truth is I'm afraid..
Oct 2018 · 149
Those we love
Erin Johnson Oct 2018
Those we love
Don't go away
They walk beside us everyday..
Unseen, Unheard..
Just always near,
Still Loved,
Still missed,
And very dear
Oct 2018 · 134
You may be thinking
Erin Johnson Oct 2018
You may be thinking..
This pain will never end
Be sure that you're growing
You will smile again
And it's surrendering
To the process
Of grief and the
Acceptance that you
Can find your way.
You will
Make it
The pain
Oct 2018 · 635
I'm Free
Erin Johnson Oct 2018
Don't grieve for me,
for now I'm free.
I'm following the path Satan laid for me.
I took his hands when I heard him call,
I turned by back and left it all.
I couldn't stay another day,
To laugh,
To love,
To work,
Or to play.
Tasks left undone must stay that way.
I found that place at the end of the day.
If my parting has left a void,
Then fill it with remembered joy.
A friendship shared,
A laugh,
A kiss,
Ah these things I will miss.
Be not burdened with times of sorrow.
I wish you the sunshine of tomorrow.
My life's been full,
I've savored so much.
Good friends,
Good times,
A loved ones touch
Perhaps my time seemed a little brief
Don't lengthen it now with undone grief.
Lift up your heart and share it with me
Satan wanted me
and now he's set me free.
Thankyou Satan
Oct 2018 · 186
Erin Johnson Oct 2018
Death is the end,
Death is sadness,
Death is dark,
Death is light,
Death is the end to your short life,
Death is the beginning to your eternal life,
Death isn't the end,
Death isn't sadness,

Death is Happiness,
Death is your final rest,
Death is your second and final beginning,
Death is your rebirth
Death is final.
Oct 2018 · 784
What Life Really Is..
Erin Johnson Oct 2018
Life is a challenge
Meet it
Life is a gift
Accept it
Life is a sorrow
Over come it
Life is a tragedy
Face it
Life is a mystery
Unfold it
Life is an opportunity
Take it
Life is a promise
Complete it
Life is a struggle
Fight it

Life is a goal
Achieve it
Life is love
Love it
Life is adventurous
Have fun
Life is a duty
Perform it
Life is a game
Out smart it
Life is beauty
Praise it
Life is great
Sep 2018 · 132
Does it?
Erin Johnson Sep 2018
You say you're cooler than me so does that make me hotter than you?
Sep 2018 · 169
It takes
Erin Johnson Sep 2018
It takes only a minute to have a crush on someone
An hour to like someone
And a day to love someone
But it takes a lifetime to get over someone
Sep 2018 · 145
A Broken heart
Erin Johnson Sep 2018
Follow your heart,
but don't overtake it.
If you leave it behind,
Someone will break it.

I left you my heart,
And what did you do.
You used and abused it,
You broke it in two.

I make a promise to you,
It won't happen again.
Your no longer my lover,
Or even my friend.

My life will go on,
My heart will grow stronger.
I will not need you,
In my life any longer.
Sep 2018 · 254
A Time To Talk
Erin Johnson Sep 2018
When a friend calls me from the road and slows his horse to a Meaning walk, I don't stand still and look around.
On the hills I haven't hoed, and shout from where I am, What is it?
No, not as there is time to talk.
I ****** my *** in the mellow ground,
Blade end up and five feet tall, and plod: I go up to the stone wall for A friendly talk.
Sep 2018 · 141
Erin Johnson Sep 2018
You were a lone cloud.
I was nothing more than an atom of the vapours condensed to form you.
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