I hate that I love you because it hurts. It straight out hurts. Every time I see you, my heart wrenches in pain. It rips me from inside, tears me apart. I know that it hurts, and yet, I do nothing.
I hate that I love you because I forget. I forget what’s happening around me. I forget that time will not stop just for me. I forget that it isn’t just you and me. I know I forget, and yet, I do nothing.
I hate that I love you because I’d do anything for you. I tend to not notice it, but it’s apparent. These are the things I unconsciously do for you. I walk on the side with the cars, I get you everything you need to feel comfortable. Sometimes, I take care of you more than myself. Sometimes, I value your happiness more than I value mine. I know that this is bad, and yet, I do nothing.
I hate that I love you because I keep trying. I know you’ll never love me the way I love you. I could easily love you with my whole being. I could love you until it consumes me. I’d love you until the stars burn out, and the sky falls down. I know that I should stop trying, for you’ll never love me back, and yet, I do nothing.
Lastly, I hate that I love you because loving you makes me happy even though it shouldn’t. I’m hurting myself in the process. I keep telling myself that there is a possibility that things will work between us. That you will love me more than just a friend. Loving you leaves a bittersweet aftertaste in my mouth. Like the best memories you’ve ever had, until you remember the person in them is gone. Being in the moment, but then remembering that that moment will not last forever, for it will be a memory soon enough. Sharing your favorite lemon candy, the one with the surprise center, leaves me a good memory of you that I’d rather forget. I shouldn’t be happy- I shouldn’t be content with a love like this, and yet, I will still love you.