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Jan 2018 · 341
Melancholic Normal.
y i k e s Jan 2018
"I love you to death."
"I'll always love you"
"Please don't fall for someone else"
the words found there way out through your tears, through your desperation.

It was too late, I did fall for someone else.
His arms became home.
His voice became a blanket.
His eyes became shelter
His crooked glasses became a source of comfort

You?
You became my melancholic normal.
You broke me one too many times

also hi. im back
Apr 2017 · 366
Hello
y i k e s Apr 2017
It's been a long time, since I've been here.

Over this time, I fell in love and stayed in love.

People have come and go, just like normal
Life stayed on the steady course, as always.
Jul 2016 · 565
i'm sorry
y i k e s Jul 2016
i love you,
i really do

i just can't seem to accept it.
Jun 2016 · 497
Sun Burned.
y i k e s Jun 2016
It's no shock I got sun-burned after you began to love me again,

your touch, like fire.
your words, like a burning sun glare
and your heart, hotter than the the heat.

It's no shock I got sun-burned today,
your love is painful to the touch, but i'll endure it all.
Jun 2016 · 375
I'm Not.
y i k e s Jun 2016
i'm not here.
                              i'm not alive
i'm not awake
                            this is not real.
Jun 2016 · 455
I'm a Lie
y i k e s Jun 2016
i wish i could show you that i'm worth it.

but it's impossible to show you a lie.
Jun 2016 · 498
Her in Me
y i k e s Jun 2016
you often tell me that i remind you of her

the way my mind functions
and the way my words come out
the things i enjoy
and the things i dislike

you often tell me you see her in me

but if that's the case,
why did you choose her over me?
Jun 2016 · 482
Eyes Full of Water
y i k e s Jun 2016
i can only write with a heart full of love,

eyes full of water,

and a stomach full of butterflies.
Apr 2016 · 711
The Sound of Your Heartbeat
y i k e s Apr 2016
i could stay a little while
and get lost in your eyes

i could stay the night
and get lost in your stories

i could stay in your life
and get lost in the sound of your heartbeat
Apr 2016 · 1.2k
Overstaying Your Welcome.
y i k e s Apr 2016
i'm back at home
and you welcome me with open arms

"welcome home, we missed you!"

a warm embrace leads to a tender kiss
a night in bed, very well missed

a one day stay, leads to a week long stay
eventually, i pack my things, it's time to go

you stand in the doorway, holding the **** firmly

"you're not going anywhere, you BELONG here."

you're right, i do belong here.
i can't argue that.

i unpack my things, get cozy in bed.
you lay next to me, place your arm on my chest

everything wells up, the feelings set in
the familiar settings, the normal mindset.

darkness welcomes it's self around me
it's my second home, i can't argue.
I'm back, I missed you.
Apr 2016 · 2.3k
A Simple Hug
y i k e s Apr 2016
Being in your arms for those ten seconds was the most wonderful feeling in the world

more beautiful than a spring flower blooming,

the sound of laughter in an elementary school yard,

and the smile on your face when you see me
You make me so happy
Mar 2016 · 728
No One Bats an Eye
y i k e s Mar 2016
things change
people lie
and no one bats an eye

you grow
you die
and no one bats an eye
Mar 2016 · 314
dear you,
y i k e s Mar 2016
thank you for putting a smile on my face,

thank you for making me laugh,

thank you for making me feel special,

and thank you for giving me your time,

today
the hour i spent with you was amazing
Mar 2016 · 270
Sorry (10w)
y i k e s Mar 2016
I'm aware it's not really my fault,

                                                                     but I'm sorry.
Mar 2016 · 264
c o l l e g e
y i k e s Mar 2016
another seat empty

another missed assignment

another letter grade down on attendance

another excuse email

                             Dear __,
Sorry i'm not in class, i'm not feeling well can you tell me  what I missed? thank you have a great day!
                                            Thanks,     ___
another day i'm a waste

                                            
                                               but professor let me be honest,
                                                         sorry i can't come to class
                                                               i really can't handle anything
                                                        ­              anymore
Mar 2016 · 387
absence
y i k e s Mar 2016
you're not as dependent as you assume
                                                          ­        once you leave the room


give your self some time alone
                                                      put down the phone
i dont need you like i thought i did. thank you.

//"put down the phone" seems a little condescending to me so I'd like to explain. more or less it's basically saying stop messaging the person you feel too attached to, it's okay to be alone
Mar 2016 · 285
Our Final Week.
y i k e s Mar 2016
You're leaving
And I know it's for the best
But I can't help but remember
The smile on your face
The squint of your eyes
And the feeling of your hands

I can't help but think
What if-
What if-

But in the end,
The what ifs have no purpose
Because you're leaving
And I don't think I'm coming back, either.
I wish you the best of luck
Mar 2016 · 356
Mixing Blood and Dirt
y i k e s Mar 2016
rolling down the hill
mixing blood and dirt

remembering once was
remembering what everything i thought, never was

rolling down the hill
mixing blood and dirt

kissing my knuckles
putting stickers on my wounds

rolling down the hill
mixing blood and dirt

saying goodbye on a stained paper
leaving it on the bedside, under a bottle of cough syrup
Feb 2016 · 1.6k
Nuts and Bolts (A Question)
y i k e s Feb 2016
Do you form your own opinions?
Are you your own person?

Or are you a robot?

Conditioned to believe the beliefs of your makers?

Do you always believe what you're told to believe?

Or are you your own person?
With your own opinions?
Inspired by John Stuart Mill's piece titled On Liberty
Feb 2016 · 251
My Old Friend
y i k e s Feb 2016
The sweet sensation that I craved.

The sweet sensation that I missed.

The sweet sensation that brought relief

The sweet sensation that I might keep
Feb 2016 · 330
gfy.
y i k e s Feb 2016
do you tell yourself the lies you tell me?

do you fill your head with lies,

just like you did to me?
Feb 2016 · 309
Death Bed Thoughts.
y i k e s Feb 2016
We all have goals in life

                         get rich
                         move out of your birth place
                         travel the world
                         fall in love

But how tragic is it that we die on our death beds, remembering the times when we were happy

Yet in that moment, never appreciating it because we were complaining  about what else we could be doing
Feb 2016 · 244
C and E.
y i k e s Feb 2016
life is merely cause and effect

what i do to you,


you do to me.
Feb 2016 · 424
Looking Across the Room
y i k e s Feb 2016
Standing still, staring intently.

You arm placed firmly, watching the screen as everything appeared, and disappeared. Oh so suddenly.

Focused, the most perfect way to describe you in that moment.

And yet somehow,  you manged to smile despite how fierce your stare became at the monitor.

Your hair was brushed, for once. Your clothes were baggy, typical.

Your head turned a bit to look over at me, standing across the room.

You smiled. You made a stupid face, that's how we communicate.

And that's when time froze.

And that's when I noticed everything I assumed was corrected.

For I had only thought, and guessed. But everything then became clear.

I'm in love with you.
2/13/16, before i helped you buy gifts for your girlfriend.
Feb 2016 · 210
Neverlasting
y i k e s Feb 2016
Don't get to attached because nothing last
Feb 2016 · 265
Myself and Only Me.
y i k e s Feb 2016
to often i am living in my head



                    creating situations for myself


                                                         and only me
Feb 2016 · 1.1k
Oh, So Much
y i k e s Feb 2016
And I loved you, oh so much

I was unsure what to do

But you didn't love me back

That was the only thing I was sure of.
Feb 2016 · 228
Simply.
y i k e s Feb 2016
life is simply dry

                                               if you do not

                                                                                 open your eyes
Open your eyes to everything around you. See the world for yourself. Do not let other people see for you. Make your own choices, enjoy what you life, live for yourself.
y i k e s Feb 2016
I refuse to accept the fact that my soul was made to endure nothing but sadness.

I refuse to accept the fact that the atoms and cells inside me were created to endure nothing but a feeling of hopelessness

I refuse to accept that fact that my plan here on earth was to become nothing out of everything

I refuse to accept the fact that I will feel nothing but emptiness, a feeling of nothing inside of nothing.

I refuse to accept the fact that I can only hope to act out of the need of hope

I refuse to accept the fact that I can only sit and wait to move

I refuse to accept the fact my body wants so much, but does nothing

I refuse to accept the fact I have no will power to change

I refuse to accept the fact that all I can do is refuse

I refuse to accept the fact that

I refuse to accept the fact

I refuse to accept the

I refuse to accept

I refuse to

I refuse

I
Feb 2016 · 703
Who Are We Really?
y i k e s Feb 2016
Who are we really?

We're all human beings on the outside, covered in flesh and filled with blood

But beyond that,

                                       Who are we really?

Are we good?
What is good?

Are we bad?
What is bad?

We're living, but are we actually a l i v e ?
What does alive mean, actually?

We're all breathing,
But what does that mean?

Deep down, inside
                                             Who are we really?
A collection of recent thoughts
Jan 2016 · 880
Artist or Liar?
y i k e s Jan 2016
You can't decide if you're a good or bad person

                                So you create a version of yourself you want to be

Are you an artist?
                                                                     Or a lie?
Written in philosophy class
Jan 2016 · 1.1k
Life Isn't
y i k e s Jan 2016
Life isn't always sunshine and rainbows

Life isn't always gray clouds and rain drops

Life isn't always butterflies in your stomach and blush on your cheeks

Life isn't always frowns and scars

Life isn't always happiness

Life isn't always sadness

Life isn't always the best, yet it isn't always the worst.
Jan 2016 · 260
chemicals (2)
y i k e s Jan 2016
when all the chemicals in your brain wear off,


are you really the person i thought you were?
Jan 2016 · 262
down then up
y i k e s Jan 2016
You would think one would get used to it after a while

The constant movement,
up then down.
down then up

and yet, it's always such a shock when i hit the bottom
yet again
Jan 2016 · 1.0k
locked.
y i k e s Jan 2016
behind every closed door lies another door, who's key is hidden somewhere in your future
Jan 2016 · 283
1.4.16
y i k e s Jan 2016
the sun shines, once the clouds move

the wind blows the leaves away

the grass grows once the rain falls

and i am in love with you
Jan 2016 · 770
2016
y i k e s Jan 2016
'new year, new me'*

I won't be a new me this year.

No, I'm going to be an upgraded version of myself.

I won't become the person I always aspired to be.

No, I'm going to push myself to fix all the wrong things with me.

A prototype and a completed project.

I'm going to create a better me, not a new one.
"maybe it's not my weekend, but it's going to be my year." - All Time Low
Dec 2015 · 623
2015
y i k e s Dec 2015
Through all the ups and all the downs, i learned one thing this year.
Its that you need to keep moving forward
Dec 2015 · 286
hurt (10w)
y i k e s Dec 2015
i'm so sick of writing about how you hurt me
now you're back with your ex? ok
y i k e s Dec 2015
before you get to comfortable with where you're at,

remember it's all uncertain and in just an instant, you're right back

here.

and they'll be there, welcoming you right back in


before you get to comfortable with where you're at

remember,

it'll all fall back, right where it belongs

you'll never be free.
12/23/15. 12:25am.

One of those nights.
Dec 2015 · 183
anymore
y i k e s Dec 2015
don't you wish it didn't hurt anymore?
Dec 2015 · 405
I Should, I Won't.
y i k e s Dec 2015
I should probably delete your number, it would do me well

I should probably unfollow you on instagram, it would do me well.

I should probably unfriend you, it would do me well.

I should probably stop talking to you, it would do me well.

I should probably quit my job, it would do me well.

I should probably stay inside my house, it would do me well

But I think we all know by now, I don't like being well.
Dec 2015 · 286
Fine
y i k e s Dec 2015
"but you were doing just fine before I came here..."*
Your definition of fine and my definition of fine are very different
Thought of this at work, after being told you might leave
Dec 2015 · 391
Seen: Monday, at 7:15pm
y i k e s Dec 2015
I heard you talking

You said
you were over all the noise and she kept calling and texting
Those messages going unanswered

He laughed
Saying he understood and the same happened to him

I stayed put
Listening
And waiting
And waiting
For the perfect time to exit


Just like I am still
Waiting for an answer to my messages
You never like to reply

*the dialogue was truthful, but the actual conversation wasn't about myself
Dec 2015 · 6.4k
love & care
y i k e s Dec 2015
Everything grows with a little love and care
Even in small dosages, it'll bloom eventually
y i k e s Dec 2015
A little over a week away from Christmas and it's seventy degrees in Philadelphia

In this household, the Christmas tree has no plans on going up this year and presents aren't in my near future

This is a summary of 2015
This is a raw version, I can't think of how to clean it up
Dec 2015 · 134
Really
y i k e s Dec 2015
i'm pathetic.
really pathetic

i'm alone
really alone

i'm dead
really dead.

i'm no longer a human
i'm really a shell.
Dec 2015 · 196
.11.18.15.
y i k e s Dec 2015
The bus stop is at an odd spot, I always thought that whenever I saw it.
It's placed in front of that flimsy fence, the sliver fence that's about to toppled over, with green metal behind it that's just as flimsy.

Remember when you ran into it, throwing all your weight onto it?
I dared you to do it, because you told me to. You wanted to make yourself seem tough.
I'm not gonna lie, it's cute when you do that.

Do you remember that night?
The air was cold, but that was alright. i was happy to be with you. You were engulfed in your cigarette, the street light shining above you. The smoke could be seen fluttering into the street light, it was a picture perfect moment. I should've taken a picture of you then, kept it forever.

You were being discreet, blowing the smoke above you, but you didn't realize the cold air was blowing it right back in my face.
I held in the cough, you didn't know I have lung issues.

You cracked a joke, corny ones at that, and told stories of your past. Ones that would get you arrested, and fired. Or how you got punched at a party, and yet still managed to keep drinking. You always have a great story to tell. You don't let silence fall. You're great at that, keeping things alive and well.

I was freezing.
For being an October night, it was really cold. I wanted you to put your arm around me, do something cliche. But you didn't, and that's okay. I'm glad you didn't, it would've made you going on a date that much more painful.
the second time was my favorite.
Dec 2015 · 547
life
y i k e s Dec 2015
I never take chances
I never make the first move

But for you, I'd do anything
And for me, you were not

I'm back where I started
Aching more than ever now

It just goes to show, life is not yours for the taking

And neither are you
Didn't mean to mAke this public :)
Dec 2015 · 7.5k
mouse trap
y i k e s Dec 2015
"I'm just happy she didn't fall into that trap"*

Boy, my neck snapped from that trap long ago
But you don't focus on me unless you see what you want to
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