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"Medium" sized button-up
Tommy Hilfiger fits me big
As if it were an extra large
I don't mind
            I like it.

Green.
Darker than grass
Completely green, painted by an
Indigenous craftsman
From New Mexico
The Apache,

My Fathers.

They painted red flowers.

With orange stars in the middle,
Scattered randomly
        Perfectly
Throughout the long sleeve button-up Hilfiger

The pattern: Strange looking
Orange flowers
                        Geometric
                       ­ I wear it
                        'Cause it reminds me of her.
This is more permanent.
Something like a debt from past lovers
or a memory that keeps repeating itself reminiscing hysteria.

esto ya huele a flor dulce recién salido de la lengua de un nopal.
No mas no me vallas a olvidar


I remember passing lonely nights at the city fair
Dreaming of a friend who would expand my mind
pass the cliche television shows and the cliche talks thought of only by the cliche, regular people who have nothing exciting to say 'cept how their grandma got ran over by a reindeer.

Now here came a girl who dm'ed me
I like your tweets.
And I had nothing great in mind
The only thing I thought of was, "hey I like to write"
She got excited and from there on I wasn't lonely

Every day and night a new conversation sprung.
Some repeating old stories of depression, Sylvia Plath, and the Beat Generation.
Some stuff like "Yo I dig Aubrey Plaza"
And most of all me genuinely telling her how beautiful she is, how she makes me smile, how I thank God she walked into my life at the most perfect time.

Speaking 'bout God.
I pray He never takes her away from my life.
I hope he fulfills everything she wants in her life,
'Cause she has power soaring from her inner beauty.
Success pours out from her being.
There is nothing in the world that could stop this girl.

You know how they say, "The world is yours?"
No better phrase hits right right now but that exact one.
The world is yours Nezly

*esto ya huele a flor dulce recién salido de la lengua de un nopal.
Nezly, tu nunca me vas a fallar
Valley dripping of milk and honey.
Chestnut washed lands and symmetrical hills with two temples
burning incense to Ganesha.
A deep cave yet unsettled by civilization.
The environment pronounces "devastation" wrong but the mind
was conquered by a Greek.

Oh scattered freckles like pebbles orange.
It's mid June,
still, Hunab Ku is my one true Lord and red lipstick on brown girls
still turns me on.
So who am I really running from?

At a distance, successful X.O.C.H.
is holding hands with Salvador Domingo Felipe Jancinto Dali i Domenech.
- RAW -

At a distance, a rusted gold coin with exact exchange value of one half dime
buys El Castillo de Chapultepec without a fight,
but who am I really running away from?
You?

Valley fortified and in control.
Beautiful nature: BRIGHT COLORED FRUIT Y FLORES RECIEN NACIDOS DE UN NOPAL
CON UNA CUEVA ENVENENADA.

She is Queen of flowers
- RAW -
Only if that is what you desire.
When I hear FEMINISM, RACISM, SEXISM, IMMIGRATION
or the TORTURE OF A NATION,
my mind cries
and my eyes go blank.

Children ****** waving to their teacher
Their teacher waving back
A grenade is launched
and chunks of her pained memory soar through the windows of the bus.
War just won't stop.

In the Internet,
White-washed Latinos diss their mother's birth
throw stones at their father's graves.
Praise Uncle Sam
Although Caucasians are abusing them because of their skin pigmentation
Oh great U.S.A.
Who incarcerated Madiba and murdered MLK.
Killed more humans than Adolf and now want to buy them.
With a small piece of useless land in New Mexico and Kentucky Fried Chicken.

You PATHETIC CHICKEN
who wants to own the world even though you haven't been here one stinkin millennium.
A decade of power and now you patrol the streets.
please

You can't even patrol your own streets

please
p.s. you're never gonna get that girl.
p.s. you're never gonna wake up early in the morning to run.
p.s. if you do wake up early in the morning and train you'll never make it pro.
There are dudes way better than you, dudes training in college, yeah you'll never surpass them.
p.s. your writings ****.
p.s. what do you even know about psychology?
p.s. you'll never get anywhere close to an accumulated 3.5 gpa in college.
p.s. you'll never find the love of your life.
p.s. you're gonna die soon.

p.s.
p.s.
p.s.
p.s.
 Oct 2013 xingaderas
marina
i wish my generation would stop
romanticizing misery; if he only loves you
because you are sad, then what will happen
when he's the only one to make you happy

(are you prepared to watch him walk away
for another girl reading bukowski?)
please don't think your sadness is the only thing about you that is beautiful
 Oct 2013 xingaderas
Emma Azura
Sigh
 Oct 2013 xingaderas
Emma Azura
after hours my thoughts trudge through loneliness
get deeper into the abyss
dig your own grave
push yourself into that corner
cry your silent tears while people stare from behind their technology
dare to ask me if I'm okay
if you even remember to
same old sad story: sequel, spin-off, and adaptation
feelings aren't real
they are only in your head

where else would they be?
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