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  Aug 27 C P X
mygreatestescape
I didn’t become anything
i’ve returned at last to what I was all along
like all weak things I need to be touched to feel real;
I look like a stranger in the mirror, the bathroom light
dyes me inky white,
and my bruised heart still beats
it’s branches are reaching telling me to come home
say my name again and again until it too stops sounding like it’s mine.
the dog is following you, and I am praying with my eyes open
the music is getting louder but I will not face it
is this the price I pay for resurrection
is this the love I get for quieting myself
if so; more of it then
scorpionic - look in my eyes and heal me again

I was burning too quietly
the fumes of my love didn’t reach you
and yet you kept your silence

there is a sun in my heart
tear it in two and see what it whispers

in the midst of our joy
there is a snake my lapis lazuli
the quilt you knit
with weak thread is being stretched
over me
and it is your love that keeps it from tearing

I am an angel you said
you placed me on the pyre
you kissed my eyes shut
my eyeless eyes I have never closed before
this time the blanket you give is gore
and it rips like muscle
it tears like bones
snapping
it tears like heaven
it tears open
my honey my wounds
my sun in my heart leaking out
and finally you feel it don’t you
how much I love how much I love.
  Aug 27 C P X
H.P. Lovecraft
Through the ghoul-guarded gateways of slumber,
Past the wan-mooned abysses of night,
I have lived o'er my lives without number,
I have sounded all things with my sight;
And I struggle and shriek ere the daybreak, being driven to madness with fright.

I have whirled with the earth at the dawning,
When the sky was a vaporous flame;
I have seen the dark universe yawning
Where the black planets roll without aim,
Where they roll in their horror unheeded, without knowledge or lustre or name.

I had drifted o'er seas without ending,
Under sinister grey-clouded skies,
That the many-forked lightning is rending,
That resound with hysterical cries;
With the moans of invisible daemons, that out of the green waters rise.

I have plunged like a deer through the arches
Of the hoary primoridal grove,
Where the oaks feel the presence that marches,
And stalks on where no spirit dares rove,
And I flee from a thing that surrounds me, and leers through dead branches above.

I have stumbled by cave-ridden mountains
That rise barren and bleak from the plain,
I have drunk of the fog-foetid fountains
That ooze down to the marsh and the main;
And in hot cursed tarns I have seen things, I care not to gaze on again.

I have scanned the vast ivy-clad palace,
I have trod its untenanted hall,
Where the moon rising up from the valleys
Shows the tapestried things on the wall;
Strange figures discordantly woven, that I cannot endure to recall.

I have peered from the casements in wonder
At the mouldering meadows around,
At the many-roofed village laid under
The curse of a grave-girdled ground;
And from rows of white urn-carven marble, I listen intently for sound.

I have haunted the tombs of the ages,
I have flown on the pinions of fear,
Where the smoke-belching Erebus rages;
Where the jokulls loom snow-clad and drear:
And in realms where the sun of the desert consumes what it never can cheer.

I was old when the pharaohs first mounted
The jewel-decked throne by the Nile;
I was old in those epochs uncounted
When I, and I only, was vile;
And Man, yet untainted and happy, dwelt in bliss on the far Arctic isle.

Oh, great was the sin of my spirit,
And great is the reach of its doom;
Not the pity of Heaven can cheer it,
Nor can respite be found in the tomb:
Down the infinite aeons come beating the wings of unmerciful gloom.

Through the ghoul-guarded gateways of slumber,
Past the wan-mooned abysses of night,
I have lived o'er my lives without number,
I have sounded all things with my sight;
And I struggle and shriek ere the daybreak, being driven to madness with fright.
C P X Jul 14
we have been emulating the life in our skies
with the death in our hands

gunpowder and bullets and blood
thunder and lightning and rain

maybe when this is over
new things will grow here
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