I scrub and scrub,
until my skin stings,

wondering why,
I don't look "clean,"

darker skin, darker hair,
they've led me to believe
there must be something ***** here

You said I'm the only one in the world,
but I realize, I'm not the only one in yours,

A lump in my throat,
why do I still believe you?

they said, if it hurts you,
then it's not worth you,

then why do I want you to stay,
even if just to hurt me

it departs from him,
the most beautiful song,

lullaby melody,
the sweetest hum,

a sense of melancholy,
my tummy's butterflies flit around,

he sang his song,
I sang along,
he stole my butterflies,
and went along

I finally mustered the courage,
to wear a blouse a size smaller,

until I saw myself in the mirror,
and I heard a light chuckle

I saw this once,
in Philosopher's Stone,
that the wand picks the wizard,
not the other way around

I realized today,
at the bookstore in town,
that the book picks the reader,
not the other way around

"why can't I be a man that likes pink,

why can't I be a woman that likes to surf the wind,

why can't I be a man that cries tears of joy,

why can't I be a woman that's not a mommy

why can't I be a man, without toughening up,

why can't I just be

be a human"

Wutherings Bronte

I want to stand,
on solid ground,

a canopy covered cloud,
to dream all day-round,

I want to live,
my best life,
and breathe,
like there's only,
today

I was restless this evening past,
tossed and turned until shadows cast,

disheveled hair, and eyes mad,
I procured a parchment and quill to acquit my mental fast

.

I was restless this evening past,
tossed and turned until shadows cast,

disheveled hair, and eyes mad,
I procured a parchment and quill to acquit my mental fast

.

I was restless this evening past,
tossed and turned until shadows cast,

disheveled hair, and eyes mad,
I procured a parchment and quill to acquit my mental fast

I arose from a chamber off the ivory coast,
passed the rainforest before taking a float

A dip in the island valley,
I trod to the meadow cote

Listened to the humming birds,
singing a halo note

I am warrior, I am free, and in flight.
I am dancing, and swaying in fight.
I am warrior, but not out of spite.
I am warrior, against a discriminate plight.
I am warrior, I am advocate.

I wrote of you,
a writer’s dream, a dewy gaze, a trilogy,
I don’t write the same anymore.

I am worthy.
I am worthy,
of the smile that departs from my lips in the mirror every morning.
I am worthy,
of feeling fulfilled and confident in this body.
I am worthy,
of affection, gratitude, and respect.
I am worthy,
of this, and so much more.

“Come downstairs, dinner’s ready”
No mom!

“Look here, I knit you a sweater for picture day”
No mom!

“Come with me to the store, it’ll only be 10 minutes”
No mom!

…

No mom, don’t leave,
don’t go,
I want to eat that stew once more,
Make me anything,
a scarf for the summer,
I want to smell your scent once more,
I’ll go,
follow you to the ends of the world

Just come home,
I promise I won’t say no anymore

Thank you.
Thank you for carrying me,
against the wind, the jagged rocks and tainted floorboards.
Thank you for enduring,
the pain, the burden, and heat.  
In sadness and in grief,
I torture you, standing, waiting, depleting you of your vitality.
In happiness,
I dance, prance, shake, and run,
I oversee your longevity, as you harden to sustain
my happiness.

All that's left,
is an impression, an imprint in the sand that trails behind.
Effete and tired,
I thank you, my feet,
for carrying me through it all.

I am.
I am a cold, crisp autumn field.
I am a plush scarf in the breeze,
I am omnipresent, and yet never near.
I am a crackling fire in a winter freeze.
I am crumbling, cold, and free.
I am encumbered by the slush and snow.
I am waiting toe-to-toe.
You have seen me,
slouched, burdened, fatigued by the stress of the day,
waiting in the back of the bus bay.
I am all, and I am more.