You said you love me,
And I love you just as much.

Time being, so quick
To steal you
Away from my heart

A beautiful lie
It has all been.
It was amazing while it lasted

It was comforting
The couch, the pillow
Your touch, everything

It's a tragic story,
You and I
Against all odds

I used to think about you a lot
Because you were once my apple pie
The thing that kept me going for days.
I cared and loved you
Even if you didn't feel the same way.

Lately, I'm thinking
Which part of it was lost
Because when you came back
Everything left in awe.

I thought all I ever wanted
Was to get you by my side
And now, that you're here
I just want you to get lost.

What happened before left a wound
I guess time really heals everything.
After three long years of silence
All the words was said, and the feelings had left.

It was but a great story
And 'you and I' was just a theory
Somethig haunted me for so long
I could not even remember when.

I wish I could utter good bye
But was there even a 'hello' to start with?
All that's between us are trashed
It needs no futher elaboration.

Even now, I want to end this
Because you don't even deserve a space.
Maybe in our next life
There'll be a better tale told for us.

I might compare ourselves with the tides in the sea,
though this might go farout.
A single roller comes splasing into the land
but just for a minute or so,
because by  then, the waves slowly ebb back into the ocean
to be in its original form.

I tied the knot to fill the empty spaces you left.
I tried to keep my room clean, picking every piece of clothig you threw that didn't fit in the basket beam.
I told myself it was all but a beautiful dream, or a lie.
A shadow that phantom my dellusion.

If love is to fade
Why should it touch us?
If time will eventually take it back
Why should we feel it?

They say it's better to love than to have not love
Is that really true?
Is it better to ******* over something you can never bring back?

Love balances emotion.
It makes you really happy
And it makes you really sad.
But why must we feel it
for such a short period of time?

If it has to be extreme
Why is it fleeting?
Is the pain really worth all the happiness?
Will the agony of dead love
fade to forever, eventually?

Console my heart that it will
Because love has to be that kind
which only sends beautiful thoughts and feelings.
So people will want to feel it.
So this world that breaks my soul
Will be able to love
And be loved.

I'm a strong girl
I dont know how many times
Should I remind myself that
So I could make myself believe
That I really am.

I'm a strong girl
I say, to console myself
That everything will work out just fine
Because God has a plan
And I'm part of that plan.

I'm a strong girl
I repeat to myself as I get closer
To things that makes me sick.
Tho I'm still hoping that one day
I'll eventually love it.

I'm a strong girl
I tell myself
Over and over again
But it's not quite right
Just not quite right,

I'm a strong girl
Oh ****, I'm tired of it.
Completely fed up.
I feel like giving up,
surrendering my hands in the air.

But I'm a strong girl.
You know I shouldn't
You know I can't
You know I won't.
I'm a strong girl

She wants to eacape
To run away
To never come back
To set you free
But she couldn't
Because she loves you.
And she wished she didn't.

I creep toward the burrows at night
Trying to ****** a glimpse of light
That sparkled through the creepy, wooden fragments.

I bent to half to hide myself
tryig to fit in within those holes
so I could escape the solace
that has long burried me
in the land of lost and forgotten.

I believe in loving deep and true
I belive that someone out there is fit and is destined to be with us one day
I belive in one love that is magical and true

And I wonder if that kind of love exist.
That kind that is genuine and deep.
That kind that entails forever.

I wonder if anyone could ever love that much.
If anyone could ever love someone so passionately.
That they'd be willing to risk what they have
For the benefit of another person.

Because if that kind of love exist
If its real and pure and golden from within

I want to have that kind of love
I want to be selfish for it,
embrace and grasp it
with all my heart

Then maybe smile and say
"Hey, what took you so long?"

Fireflies carry a light behind them
They wander at night not knowing where to go
And they are not afraid
Because they know
They are guided by a light
That flies with them
behind their wings

But it's sad too,
Because they will never be able to see it
That shimmering light
That stayed behind them
All through the years.

Maybe the girl I know
Isn't born perfect
She had freckles and burns
Under her skin
She had violet scars,
Dark circles under her eyes.
She is weak and vulnerable

She longed for peace
A minute of escape
from all of the distress
that has been following her.
A moment of silence.
A moment where she could free herself
and prevent the pain from spreading through herself,
even from being felt.

She searched everywhere for it
She's been to places to find it
But she couldn't
She wanted it so much
She could trade her life for it.

Sleep was the only place
for her to calm the raging storm
that has been roaring inside her stomach.
And she aches for it.
She aches for it even more.

Fireflies carry a light behind them
as they wander at night
not knowing where to go.
But they are not afraid
because they know
that they are guided by a light
sticked  behind their wings,
permanently.
And so,
they are brave.

"Go to sleep"
I say to my tired soul,
but it woldn't,
becuse it is lost,
and it has to find
it's way back home
before the clock
turn 12 midnight,
or else,
she will remain stuck
to broken promises
and solitude.

Let's talk about this nurse
who stays at pulmonary unit.
He takes care of patients
who has difficulty
in respiration.
But what I want to say is this:
I feel like I should be admitted too
because he takes my breath away.

If you miss me
You know my number
I miss you too.

You didn’t touch the match
but you ignited a flame.
And it burned me severely.
Like I was a thin sheet of paper

How funny things can be,
I said I don’t like you,
and never will I like you.
I didn’t know I could be hilarious.

I’d love to spend an hour with you
or maybe the rest of my life.
We’ll turn grey into colors
and every single single day will be as beautiful.

I know this sounds dreamy
and full of miserable delusions.
For in reality, we are not perfect.
But dear, please lend me your ears and hear this:

Maybe most of the time we quarrel
and even curse each other to death.
But all I want is to be with you,
nobody else but you.

As I scroll down and type
the letters of your name on my phone,
I try my best to press the “call” button
to reach you,
because I badly want to hear a word from you,
blood starts to clot into my narrowed arteries,
possessing all the movements
that I am able to do,
and I stop.

My body dies.

As I sit and wait for you on this wooden chair
that is meant to be shared by two,
time passes by in front of me.
I see the leaves start to wither,
and the ice start to melt,
and the sun turn into golden orange.
I think of you and how much I miss you,
and then I realize,
it has been a very long time
yet until now,
I can’t think of any other more.

My mind dies.

As I try to reach out for you in the dark,
I quietly hold back the words
that can’t be said.
and contain the emotions
that are not meant to be felt,
then I hear the beating of my heart
screaming out your name in silence.
Slowly, I froze.

My heart dies.

As I hear the monotonous sound
of the water flowing from the faucet
which I tried so hard to turn off,
I breathlessly ache for your touch,
and in my mind I feel you,
and it send shivers down to my spine.
Then I know.

My senses die.

As my eyes roll over
to search for your presence,
all I can see is you,
your every detail in every image
of every person I meet,
your smile, your lips, your eyes, your laugh,
and even your smell.
I try to wrap my arms around me,
embracing all the flesh I could
to console the death of my soul,
but still,  everything else inside me

die.

Because we are all beautiful
in our own simple ways,
we don’t have to say:
I’m prettier or uglier.

Why do we even bother, right?
Life is all about difference.
And if your are different,
you are worth looking at.

I am thankful for your presence
Each time you’re beside me
I feel like nothings gonna be wrong.

When you look straight into my eyes
I feel like I’m being understood

I may hide and deny
But if you’ll look deeper
There is only you.

It hurts entirely
and to be honest,
it's difficult.
Complaining has been my everyday routine.
It isn't nice to feel like a slave everytime you wake up in the morning
and be prisoner whenever you close you close your eyes.

Though I admit, there are times
I opt to see the darkness,
Because in there, there is escape.

A little hope is burried in my stomach
I don't know for how much longer will it take for it to finally lose it.
But it's there firm and not willing to give up, yet.
Because that little hope loves deeply
It doesn't want to give up.

Each time I hear those tiny voices from a distance,
That hope fights back, it struggles.
Because I think that hope knows me better.

It whispers in my prison
when a tear escapes my eyes,
It  tells me to be still while it sings me a lullaby

And when everything inside becomes chaotic
That tiny little hope reminds me
That the war that I'm into right now,
is all worth fighting for.

It's not right to pity over you
It's not right to crave for your touch
It's not right to talk, smile or even see you
It's not right to even remember you.

Because you've forgotten
Because you've changed
Because you like somebody else
Because you've moved on.

I felt something hard hitting me from behind.
I knew it was something sharp.
It stabbed me down to my spine, destroying each nerves from my craniosacral down to my thoraculumbar,
leaving my whole body numb.

But that didn’t matter,
because I still felt for everything,
and it was so much more painful
from what I expected.

Blood started dripping from my open wound
and I sensed that it slowly traveled
outside my body.
There was some kind of weird heat
as each drop touched the linings of my flesh.

I cried because I knew things will be that way,
and I can never redo whatever damage has been inflicted upon me.

I gathered my guts to finally turn my head
to get the sight of my murderer.
Both of my eyes widen
as I saw your face.
It was you all along.

I wish I could open that door right infront of me
and see a shinning sunlight
that will guide me and help me
towards a better light.

I wish I coulp open my eyes
and see clearly how beautiful
the world have been,
and that it has always been.

I wish I could open my mind
and tell myself something inspiring
to stop regreting
all those times of running away.

I wish I could open tommorow and see the future,
so I could reassure myself,
that even if I couldn't turn back time,
everything will be alright.

I wish I could open my heart easily
the way it did when it was you,
so I could take a step forward
and live a leap of faith.

Talk to me the way you talk to her
Look at me with passion and want
Hold me like your favorite pillow that you cuddle at night
Kiss me like you've never tasted anything sweet
Dance with my body
Dance with my mind
Dance with my soul

You are right,
I freed all the butterflies in my stomach
I let them go without your consent.
Silly me,
I thought you're going to chase them
because you said those are the most beautiful.

I try to breath
but I’m loosing my lungs.
and the oxygen is insufficient.
I smell death.
like it has been haunting me.
I screamed
but I'm loosing my voice.
My throat swells,
trying to contain
all the pain that I feel.
My body freezes
slowly turning into a corpse
I watch the shadows in the darkness
as they  pass me by.
I’m dead, I’m dead.
I whisper,
as I close my eyes.

I tried to pursue it.
I kept on waiting.
But I guess it’s all not worth it
because it was not meant to happen anyway.

I cried every morning and every night.
I sat on a couch to witness the transition of time.
But I guess even my aches had forsaken and denied
the thoughts of both of us.

You were a Nightmare Last Night.
I was hunted by those awful memories we had,
and it isn’t right.
Everyday, I hate you more and I shouldn’t.
But I cant help myself.

Your image is as vivid as crystal clear in my mind
and I couldn’t find the courage to erase it.
Your fake smiles and stupid lies,
it’s all disgusting.

What I want now is for you to leave my thoughts
so that I could start a brand new life.
I don’t wanna be trapped with bitterness forever.

She took a stick,
Threw it into the air.
The stick fell.

She picked it up,
Threw it again,
But still, the stick fell.

She felt frustrated,
And desperate.
She felt angry.

She grabbed the stick
Punched it flying into the air,
Higher with all her might.

Then with a split second,
The stick fell,
It broke into half.

"This is mine",
He told me
One day

Gnashing teeth.
Glaring eyes.
Growling voice.

"You can't touch it,
You can't have it,
This is mine"

They say that flowers start to fall when they die.
I didn’t understand why,
why such a pretty thing should suffer
an acrid downfall,
under the influence of gravity.
But I guess now, I finally know why.
because today, I feel like I’m falling.
And the strong foundation I tried to build
for more that twenty-thousand years
is starting to crumble,
right below the sole of my feet.
and I feel the water flowing
coming from the inside.
and I feel cold.
I knew,
I’ve been dying.

I saw you looking at her
in the midst of festivity,
when everybody else
are shouting and jumping,
joggling and rapping,
all that there is to say.

I saw you looking at her
and your eyes are fixed
as the moment froze
and I know how you’ve felt.
It was exactly how I felt.

I saw you looking at her
and I was crushed in an instant
like a thunderbolt
like a thunderbolt