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Apr 2020 · 90
Regrets
Rae Harrison Apr 2020
I wish I never broke your heart
I think it broke mine too
I still think about it every day
I don't know what to do

I see you in my past
I see you in my head
The past is the past
but I find myself there instead

Its harder than yes or no
complicated because of me
I wish we could switch spots
so from my side you could see

It might have been different
something we won't know
Moving on is hard for me
but I guess I have to go
Jan 2019 · 695
Rivers Run
Rae Harrison Jan 2019
Just as water runs, so does he.
He can't be contained, like a river running to a waterfall. Even with all his strength and power, he can't help but choose the path he is on. All I was to him was simply the dam to restrain his natural stride. He does as he wants, not needing to have an excuse. It's just nature, isn't it? He's the river and I'm the waterfall.
Falling for his guise, hoping that I'll run back into him soon enough.
Jan 2019 · 330
Mirrors
Rae Harrison Jan 2019
Reflections in broken mirrors
through watery eyes.
Maybe it's not the mirror that's broken.
If only I was able to get to the other side.
I'd see tears on a red face
and see pain and hurt and sadness.
There's no sound on the other side.
It's quiet.
The mirror isn't broken and neither are any of the people there.
They're all empty.
They can't help us from the other side.
They just watch.

Wait, what side am I on?
Jan 2019 · 296
Something I've Learned
Rae Harrison Jan 2019
You can water your plants.
You can walk your dog everyday.
You can feed the birds in the park.
But the day that you forget to sustain your plants,
or are too busy to cater to your dogs need for the outdoor experience,
or run out of bird food for the park,
things tend to fall out of balance.
Plants survive,
so do the dogs
and the birds.
They start to believe in an entitlement to your generous acts.
Something I've learned
is that it's not always your job to take care of someone else.
There's always rainstorms,
back doors,
and picnic crumbs
waiting for their turn to take care of someone.
I used to feel pressure for having to be the source of someone's happiness.
Jan 2019 · 152
Hello...?
Rae Harrison Jan 2019
last night I talked
with the ones upstairs
and I asked them if
there was someone there
to help with pain
and to help with truth
but it rang and rang
until I felt no use
Aug 2018 · 223
Don't Cry Anymore
Rae Harrison Aug 2018
What happened after that?
What happened when all the lights went out in the storm?
Did you feel afraid or did it make you feel reborn?

What happened before?
What happened before your heart knew how it felt?
Did you accept or did you challenge the cards you were dealt?

What happens now?
Because I don't know how I feel
and I can't tell whether this storm is real.

Heartbeats sound like thunder,
dwelling from under,
and now I hate when it rains.
May 2018 · 299
Moving Out
Rae Harrison May 2018
All the stuff is gone, tangible,
but the memories still stand in the corner like he once did
A room of love and hurt and laughter
Boxes hold belongings
and the walls hold in the voices and whispers of admiration
They bounce back and forth off the paper thinness that holds this place together
All the stuff is gone, tangible
The whole room is empty
yet it’s full and I can't box up memories
May 2018 · 712
I'm chasing a feeling
Rae Harrison May 2018
I'm chasing a feeling
But it's running too fast
He's just candy temptation
He gets paid to love you, don't stress it
Don't hug, just touch
But if you throw a little more he might budge
If you think there's something there when you're the only two in the room
Well, I've got some news for you
There's not much that this boy won't do

Why am I here? I've got better things to do
But I still drive to the same place
It's not impulse that brought me here to you
I'm chasing a feeling
Gotta keep up the pace
Check the check-list
Everything done with?
Said I'm not gonna go back today but its 11:30 p.m.
Lights are dimming
How did I get in here?
I swear I didn't mean to meet you here
Yes, I know I saw you last week...
...and every night since that point
That's not the point
Let's get to the point

I'm chasing a feeling
But it's running too fast
Maybe it's love, maybe it's lust
Maybe I'm allergic to the pollen and dust
Maybe I'm wrong and I should probably leave
He's here every night
He gives everybody what they want
Not because they need it
But because they can have it, so they seek it
Is that why I'm here too?

Give them your love because you can
Turn your thoughts off, they don't belong here
Leave loyalty at the door and kick your inhibitions off at the welcome-mat
No one has any here
The front door changes you.
Yes, this is about exactly what you think it is about.
This was one of the first poems I ever wrote. It’s kinda long but I actually like it a lot.
May 2018 · 301
Shooting Stars
Rae Harrison May 2018
He's a God among stars
and they get along nicely.
He's a God to these stars
and they idolize him as such.
He's a God that can see past the stars
and they'd hoped they could distract him.
He's a God that's descended to fix what's fallen under his sky
and the stars knew this time would come.
He's a God on Earth
and the stars must miss him so.
He's a God who's found a purpose down here
and the stars fall down in anguish.

He's a God and the stars just miss him.
There's shooting stars, but the God just missed them.
Sep 2017 · 319
Stories
Rae Harrison Sep 2017
I've got scars on my arms and legs
even one on my neck
they all hurt

There's a story I wear as a bracelet
its permanent, burnt into my skin
it hurt

I wear a story like a pair of pants
words in my back pockets and they're heavy
they hurt

I've even got a tale on my neck
its a choker necklace that's too tight
it hurts
every scar is a story
Rae Harrison Aug 2016
Fall in love
Get your heart broken
It makes for better writers
I don't mean to be pessimistic, but I find that a lot of my heart breaks give me outstanding inspiration to write and create.
May 2016 · 462
Untitled
Rae Harrison May 2016
You made a mess of my heart
The windows are cracked and the walls are chipped
It's not exactly broken but it sure as hell isn't fixed
I could try to repair it but that would mean cleaning up your mess
And cleaning up your mess would mean removing all evidence of your existence
And I'm not ready for that yet
Neither is my heart
Feb 2016 · 476
It's all in your head
Rae Harrison Feb 2016
It must have been a dream I dreamed,
at least it seemed so
because he was here
and I had never seen him so clear,
at least it did appear so.
All his features were figments of my thought,
I thought I caught the hint.
I hoped I knew
better than to
fall in love with you,
the idea of true
perfection.
Don't place the blame on me for reaching out
and I wont place the blame on you for turning around.
I guess I crossed an imaginary line with an imaginary man.
Dec 2015 · 2.6k
I have terrible aim
Sep 2015 · 649
At least it's something
Rae Harrison Sep 2015
His hands don't hurt me anymore, which is why he chooses his words more carefully
Each word melds into a knife that stabs my spine, making me shiver
He doesn't have to say he loves me and he doesn't say it either
But every word hurts me
It doesn't matter if its good or bad; his love hurts and not getting his love hurts
So when he says I miss you, my spine shudders because it should be true
But it isn't
Sep 2015 · 832
True Story; Thank You Ma'am
Rae Harrison Sep 2015
Back seat of a car, happiness on my face, just coming from the city.
It's daytime; sunny and warm so I've got the window down.
My head partially sticks out as my hair flies all around and I can barely see.
As we pass the cemetery, I do see now because we are coming to a stop sign and the wind comes to a halt.
One woman sits by herself on a stone bench.
She is alone, but she is admiring the nice day, same as anyone else.
She stares at the sun before it gets too bright for her eyes and she looks back down again.
She is far away from me and I wish my vision was good enough to see her better.
She sits peacefully as she stares at the graves, maybe one in particular.
I wish I could see if she was crying or if she was holding it together.
As my car picks up speed, I watch her until my head can't turn to face her anymore.
I think about her for the next minute, wondering if she too thinks this is a beautiful day or if she despises this date in particular.
Different lives are occurring outside of our own that we are unaware of.
I'm unaware of what this woman is going through and she is unaware that she sparked this interest inside my head.
She is still unaware who I am and that she inspired this poem.
**Thank you ma'am. I hope you're doing okay.
This happened a while ago and it still makes me take into consideration that millions of things are happening outside of our own lives. Who's to say alternate universes don't exist when other people's lives are a whole universe on their own? I don't know; Don't quote me on that!
Aug 2015 · 737
My shadow
Rae Harrison Aug 2015
They say never look back but I do because that's where my shadow quietly follows, needing not to be noticed.
And if no one else stands by my side, or behind me for that matter... if no one else blindly follows in my lead, then I pray the sun never leaves and burns me constantly.
Rae Harrison Aug 2015
Love- Rx
For medical and recreational purposes only
Pill and liquid form available
Take once a day until you start to feel the effects. You will start to feel incredibly lovey dovey! Your love of things can range from many options: books, hobbies, places, animals, etc.
WARNING! Falling in love with a human is very dangerous. We aren't liable for any damages done whilst under the influences of love with one.
Side effects- increased heart rate, increases of body temperature, excessive laughter, stomach flutters, distorted sense of mind, possible face numbness from smiling too much, etc.
Signed, Doctor Leigh
what if you had to take love drugs just to feel it? Probably an alternate universe concept.
Rae Harrison Jul 2015
It's a contradiction, I know
I have to close my eyes to see you
When the lights go out, it feels the brightest
because I can see in my mind better with eyelids pressed tight
& I'm not scared of the dark but I need some imaginary light
And in the same way nights feels bright as day,
daytime is dark as midnight
because when I open my eyes
...I can't see you...
Though the lights turn on, it's still dark because you're not here
And it's a contradiction, I know,
**but I still see you even when I don't
at night my mind thinks all at once and this is probably the product of that.
Jul 2015 · 1.3k
My Hearts Murderer
Rae Harrison Jul 2015
It wasn't committed by knife, or battle axe, or saw
Yet the softest words cut the deepest and left it bleeding raw

It wasn't committed by pistol, or shotgun, or even a rifle
Yet bullets are often shaped like the sweetest words you can stifle

It wasn't committed with poison, and chemicals, and bleach
Yet it's the simplest words that taste like the worst kind of speech

It wasn't committed by natures course, or time, or heavens plan
No, this ****** was committed on my heart by a **lying man
...don't tell me you love me if it's a lie...
Jul 2015 · 913
everything's ace
Rae Harrison Jul 2015
clean house, everything is neat and in its place
floor is swept, no trace of dirt, only empty space
its graceful, all mess has been erased
no face ever shows to try to misplace anything
I embrace that my brain is laced with a chase
it races at a fast pace and in my case, its you
everything is displaced and effaced
and now I retrace the mess

it's all you
*I don't want to clean it though
Jul 2015 · 1.2k
hot while it's not
Rae Harrison Jul 2015
hot sweats slowly trickling down my face
temperature boiling like a sauna
my face feels hot like the sun and its probably burning with the same heat
my breath has picked up, just like my heart rate
currently its only you in my presence and you're the only source of heat
now, I'm not saying I'm in love but its winter and you've got me in a **cold hard sweat
Jul 2015 · 2.0k
//
Rae Harrison Jul 2015
//
your love is dope
and I'm an addict
//
Jul 2015 · 675
a tragedy
Rae Harrison Jul 2015
It's always the strong who break first
and the weak ones who last the longest
simply because the strong believe they can take more hits
and the weak agree with that
Jul 2015 · 1.3k
Down the drain
Rae Harrison Jul 2015
The bad memories flood my head, but i know now that I can pull the drain plug
It all goes swirling;
a tasteless tornado
an H20 hurricane
a liquid life ruiner
I know that water is that vital, but these fluid fragments wont provide me any good if I drink them back up
So, I drain the bad memories and drink up the good ones
and ****... they go down easy like cold water
Jul 2015 · 368
// 10w //
Rae Harrison Jul 2015
Just because you're alive doesn't mean you are really living
Jul 2015 · 347
Someone break me
Rae Harrison Jul 2015
And I know it would hurt,
but a writer needs inspiration
*and I need something to write about
Jul 2015 · 726
You're the only constant
Rae Harrison Jul 2015
I only ever learned one song and two chords on guitar.
I try to keep my garden alive but the plants keep withering because I can't seem to keep a schedule for it.
The story I wrote a year ago still has no ending.
One song verse has been stuck in my head for ages; they're the only lyrics that I gave a melody.
New routines turn to inbetweens.
I say I want to follow through, but I can never commit to committing.
All these broken vows, and I still run after you relentlessly.
I cant finish anything because I've only just started chasing you
Jun 2015 · 499
10 W
Rae Harrison Jun 2015
You can take away the physical, but not the emotional.
Jun 2015 · 375
Dear My Heart,
Rae Harrison Jun 2015
For years I wanted to be like the others
too perfect to go unnoticed
until you looked at me like that.
You said you liked my hair
and I said it wasn't like the others.
You said you liked my eyes
and I said they're only brown,
not green or golden or blue.
You said you liked my laugh
and I laughed at that.
It was only until then that I realized
I don't want to be like the others
because you don't look at them like that
and because My Heart doesn't have to be the one inside me
to be the one that I own.
be free, be you. Someone is going to love you!
Jun 2015 · 5.2k
Circle of friends
Rae Harrison Jun 2015
Don't be sad if your circle gets smaller.
The smaller the circle gets, the closer the sides are.
For those with a small circle of friends or family, the love is still strong. Those still there for you truly love you.
May 2015 · 712
Indescribable
Rae Harrison May 2015
You give me that feeling when a writer finally comes up with the Caldecott award winning novel idea. You give me that feeling when you just find out you just passed a test you thought you failed. You give me that feeling when you have good news to tell your best friend and you can't stop thinking about it, let alone trying to stop talking about it. You give me that feeling of waking up to a bright room in the afternoon because you slept in a little longer today. You give me that feeling of deep hunger when you smell your favorite dish and actually get to take a bite. You give me a feeling i can't quite put in my own words, a feeling that hasn't been yet defined, so I'll just say it like this. You make me feel, and I can't stop feeling because of you.
May 2015 · 1.5k
Cracked
Rae Harrison May 2015
Day 1: Blithe
(bl-I-the); happy or joyous
"I'm sorry but I'm rather blithe right now. It was nice to meet you."
Day 7: Convivial
(kon-viv-ve-ul); friendly, lively, or enjoyable
"The room spikes from dull to absolutely convivial just from your precence, darling."
Day 15: Pulchritudinous
(puhl-kri-tood-n-uhs); extreme physical beauty
"You look absolutely pulchritudinous tonight."
Day 16: Love
(luhv); an intense feeling of deep affection
"I love you."
Day 30: Veridical
(vuh-rid-i-kuhl); truthful; veracious
"This isn't how it used to be, if i'm being completely veridical"
Day 45: Simulacrum
(sim-yuh-ley-crum); a slight, unreal, or superficial likeness
"You were just a simulacrum for real love!"
Day 49: Lugubrious
(luh-goo-bre-us); full of sorrow or sadness
"Will the lugubrious feelings ever stop?"
Day 50: goodbye
(good-bi); used to express good wishes when parting
"Goodbye..."
May 2015 · 4.3k
Quite a sight
Rae Harrison May 2015
I don't need a mirror
to see myself
with you
Warning: this was not intended to be a pun. Does it sound like a pun? yes.
May 2015 · 2.0k
Morning routine
Rae Harrison May 2015
if I woke up and fell in love with
you more and more
each day, how
will I wake up
and have to just.... stop?
Apr 2015 · 716
20/20 Hindsight, they say
Rae Harrison Apr 2015
You only know you're tired when you've started running
Only know how cold you are when the covers are gone
How sad do you get when your friends aren't there?
Do you feel small around all the tall bodies and buildings?
It only occurred to me how much I loved you until you said
**Goodbye
Apr 2015 · 866
Perspective
Rae Harrison Apr 2015
She's a constellation among the stars and yet she wonders why she's alone
Her glimmering parts make up one hell of a beautiful whole
She looks across the night expanse at the other burning orbs
They look brighter than her and closer together, part of something
What she doesn't see is herself and how the other stars burn bright with jealousy at the beautifully crafted constellation that she is
Each star craves to be part of a constellation so they burn bright for her, for the cluster who doesn't know how she shines to them
Mar 2015 · 384
Fade
Rae Harrison Mar 2015
When the familiar starts to sound unfamiliar and the same words don't have the same meanings because they don't come from the same mouth, you know it's gone. When you start to hate the sound of something you once loved to hear only because it doesn't feel the same and because it isn't the right sound, you know it's gone. When soft sounds to you feel like sharp words and pointy edges that hurt rather than feel good because they remind you of something that could have been instead of something that could be, that's when you know it's gone; love is gone.
Mar 2015 · 638
We both ran
Rae Harrison Mar 2015
Neither of us were fine
Because I was chasing after him
And he was a few steps ahead of mine
Running in the same direction, same line, that was his only sign
Same pace, same time
His movements matched mine
He intended to leave and i'd stay behind
I never caught up
No, not in this life
Rae Harrison Mar 2015
Falling hurts and everyone knows.
Falling just hurts and that's the way it goes.
"When you fall down the only way is up,
Because falling down is quick and getting up is tough"

So I listened to those words as I fell on the concrete
And again when I stumbled and tripped; not discrete.
When I tried to fall asleep with no luck at all,
I realized getting up is hard, but not as hard as the fall.
So when I fell in love, I expected nothing but pain
So I was shocked when the falling felt like something to gain.
Because the 'fall', to me, felt like more like a 'fly'
And getting up isn't tough when you're already in the sky.
Mar 2015 · 1.4k
Two wrongs make it too right
Rae Harrison Mar 2015
Opposites* attract, but we're one in the same.
Brown eyes meet green, saying words our mouths won't.
He nods like he understands and I almost ask him to explain it to me.
Almost, because I nod like I get it too. I don't though
It's clear to both of us how blurry all of this is.
It's easy to see how hard it is to understand.
It's nice to think how bad it could be.
Its odd how normal it feels.
Though it couldnt feel more right to be somewhere so wrong,
I love that I hate to love everything about us.
Mar 2015 · 51.9k
Would that make it any better?
Rae Harrison Mar 2015
And I had to walk away
I was just hoping at least he noticed I didn't run
the title is a thought for after the poem
Rae Harrison Feb 2015
I thought I was stuck
somewhere between yes and no;
stop and go;
do and don't.
I stayed in the middle
surveying where I was.
I can see both ends of the spectrum shining towards me,
making the middle shine brighter than the two together.
Between two ends seemed like a better choice
than either the start or the finish.
At least the view is nice.
I thought I was stuck here
forever undecided because
choosing one thing means leaving the other
until I realized...
maybe I'm not stuck
maybe I just don't want to move
maybe I like where I am
and maybe this is even better than yes or no;
stop and go;
do and don't;
*At least the view is nice.
sometimes not deciding is a better decision
Rae Harrison Feb 2015
I had a best friend
the best of all my friends
until she stole what was mine
then it was the end
it really hurt
I made a new best friend
a better best friend than the last
until she left me alone,
on my own to fend
it really hurt
I found a boy
who might like me more than the last two
until he used me
and played me like a toy
it really hurt
when I pass them in the hallway,
we both stare at our feet
because we don't have anything to say
and hopefully we wont again meet
she knows it really hurt
**they all do
this actually happened to me, all of it, and its nice to get my feelings out...though I have a lot more so say and express. I'll keep those together until they form something better
Rae Harrison Feb 2015
they met in a crowded place
face after face
he saw her a while away but felt so close
he felt too hot in his jacket
she saw him a little closer, her feet wouldn't stop
even though they've been strained in tall shoes all night
she slurred her words to ask him something like
do I know you
his words meshed together that sounded something like
do you want to?
they had no intention of getting to know each other a little better,
just getting to know each other a little better
he eventually got out of his jacket and she didn't need to wear her high heels anymore
the next morning, she and her tall shoes were gone and he wonders
when will the next one night stand stay?...one night stand... stay one night?
but he always leaves the door open when he leaves too so he cant blame her
i was just watching a movie where two people met and hooked up and I wondered, what if they were perfect for each other but no one knew it? this is a "sort-of" poem about it..
Feb 2015 · 355
"Goodbye kiss?"
Rae Harrison Feb 2015
His words are sweet and calm but they're what I need to get away from. How could you begin to love someone who only has hurt you? I don't want to find out. I need to leave before I fall in love.
I turn around and think I heard someone's heart break. I just cant tell if its his or mine.
Feb 2015 · 967
Scary movies
Rae Harrison Feb 2015
Most hate the feeling of being scared
because...why be scared
when there's an option not to?
You could be happy, laughing, smiling
so why would you want to be shaking, nervous, afraid?
I like scary movies
because for people like me
we're empty
any feeling is better than none
even if I'm shaking, nervous, afraid
Feb 2015 · 852
Words as symbols
Rae Harrison Feb 2015
I haven't been saying a whole lot of anything
and anything I have been saying is a whole lot of nothing
my words come out as symbols
and my thoughts pop up as rough drafts
its times like these I think I can't speak
and I cant speak or think at times like these
Feb 2015 · 960
There's a storm out tonight
Rae Harrison Feb 2015
They're not good for each other
He's a tornado that goes around and around
messing things up
broken hotel rooms and blurry vision
He's dizzy but he wont stop
She's the thunder and lightning
that you have to cover your ears to ignore
because its too loud and comes out of nowhere
She's exhausted but she wont stop
He's a tornado that isn't afraid to mix with the thunderstorm
She's a thunderstorm that's trying to change that tornado
They're not good for each other
because He's a wreck and She's a storm
but the two disasters follow the others lead
and they like where they are
even if it's in the middle of a storm
I kinda like this one
This is based around one of the stories I'm writing now
I promise my poems will get happier soon
They all seem slightly gloomy
but brighter days are in the future
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