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jcl Apr 1
How would it be if something hideous was precious?

What if you find out now what was concealed then?


j.c.l.
jcl Mar 31
Yesterday, I blew a kiss to a flower.
That lonely and yellow one I was tempted to pick.
That bold and dainty one blooming on a cold weather.

I was out with my favorite lemon tea when it told me it loves the sun.
Each morning, it waits for that bright yellow light to touch its skin.
But every morning is a tired and yellow petal falling.

Yesterday, I blew a kiss to a flower.
That same day, the winter ends.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

In our next lives, we'll meet at the right time.
Under the blinding yellow sun or even on a moonless night deprived of yellow light; when I'm on my satin yellow dress or even when everything is plain and dull— at the right time.

And in our next lives, we'll make it right.


j.c.l.
jcl Jul 2018
"Tell me something I don't know" you said. You were gazing at the moonless sky, while I pretended to be sleeping. Answers came rushing to my mind but I couldn't even speak.

     You don't know that you loved a red rose, so delicate but you might bleed against my thorns. You may end up letting me go for I am not worth the pain. You don't know that the girl next to you is a shooting star, you can either catch it or miss it. And even the constellation swears that the latter weighs more to you. You don't know that I have already given you myself. I don't fear to have nothing in return. I fear that the thing I gave is something to be returned. You don't know that in your warm blue eyes, is a reflection of me. And the second time I look through them, I am with a crowd of unfamiliar faces, when I am alone in front of you.

     I was sorry back then, I couldn't give a word other than silence. The things you don't know are the things I was afraid for you to know, 'cause I had a feeling this will happen— you leaving.
jcl Apr 2018
Have I told you
how much coins I saved
for wishes made on wishing well?
And there is no falling star I crave,
for you are my wish, and you are real.

Have I told you
how butterflies play in me
when I hear from you the words I lost?
And fireworks explode inside me
as our lips touched while eyes closed.

Have I told you
that your voice is a lullaby?
I learned to dream as you watch me sleep.
But your silence hums goodbye,
I seem to lose what I'm trying to keep.

Have I told you
how I carved your name on my mind?
It's what I always say, I always write.
And your body is painted on my skin,
as you let go from holding me tight.

Have I told you
that in each chapter, in each page of my story
are feelings anew?
And I have turned you into a poetry,
behind each line, each word, is you.

...........................................................­.............

I guess I haven't.
I guess I won't have the chance to.
jcl Apr 2018
Thoughts— my head as their axis
I lie on bed sleepless and stiff
My mom always says
"Count down to lull yourself"

One hundred
I remember holding you
And how our skin drifted
As what I feared but never anticipated

Ninety-nine
With you, every stars align
Our hands gracefully entwined
But how could they keep me confined?

Ninety-eight
Puzzled minds collate
The same minds that rotate
Turning around, finding their fate

Ninety-seven
This is how you bet and always win
How you bet and leave me thinkin'
How do I win to make us even?

Ninety-six
I find myself falling into your tricks
The sweetest ones but never the realest
They made me sane then made me sick

Ninety-five
I'm the bee protecting my hive
From you, the bear,
trying to steal what keeps me alive

Ninety-four
I've got a lot to explore
More on your unspoken gestures
You shut your eyes, when you mean the door

Ninety-three
I dive into you when you're a vast sea
While your tide is tossing me
Slowly setting me free

Ninety-two
If you are one shade of hue
You are neither red nor blue
Your are the color that symbolizes adieu

Ninety-one
With my flowing shirt and messy hair bun
You utter words that left me stunned
You end it all when it's undone

Ninety
Mom, this is not letting me sleep but is killing me
If I reach one, I'd greet the sun dreadfully
Is counting down to sleep really an agony?
jcl Apr 2018
She had teared enough to appreciate her value
In the dusk, she had wept silently and decided to start anew
However, those sobs were once a pleasant melody she's now tired of singing

She had agonized enough to get through the despair
She had throbbed and realized this is a thing she can't bear
However, those pains were once a fascinating photograph she's now tired of capturing

She had been wounded enough to convince herself to stop
She had been lost and fallen 'til she dared to lift herself up
However, those scars were once a beautiful canvas she's now tired of painting

She had fought enough to finally get out of the torment
She finally regained herself from the wasted time she had spent
However, those battles were once a breath-taking film she's now tired of watching

She had loved hard enough to be free from regrets
She smiled, laughed, and giggled, she had to admit
However, those memories were once a captivating poetry she's now tired of writing
jcl Apr 2018
I am the sadness you can't bear, and was the happiness you don't deserve to wear.

I am the stress you can't handle, and was the light of certainty you can no longer re-kindle.

I am the tears you can't stop from fallin', and was the smile you can never put in your face again.

I am the distraction you can't control, and was the calmness once needed by your soul.

I am the doubt you can't get away, and was the ease that has now stopped leading your way.

I am the guilt that will constantly haunt you, and was the lightness that you only wasted and threw.

I am the fear you can't overcome, and was the heroine you once get your courage from.

I was everything you could ask for, now I am unable to offer you anything anymore.
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