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it's always been you
the one mountain
i will always climb
to explore your soul
bask in your glory
and take comfort in the view
i've traveled many miles
over many years
through many forests
and over many hills
to get to you
and every day
i breathe you in
with a gentle smile
and a gentle kiss
and tell you
"you are my favorite adventure"

- katrina ******
to my forever and always.

follow me on instagram: @wordsbykatrina
follow me on twitter: @_wordsbykatrina
be careful
what you say
you don't want
your tongue
ripped out

- katrina ******
whenever some people think it's okay to make snide little comments to me, i always wonder why they think it's okay to say those kinds of things. what are you benefiting out of that? what are you getting out of making those back-handed comments? are you trying to hurt me? get a reaction out of me?nobody benefits out of being unkind. what you put out into the universe circles back to you. if you think your life is going to be **** one day, guess what? it's going to be **** that day. if you talk down to people, you know exactly what i'm about to say. i hear many things. i just choose not to focus on them. i have better **** to worry about because those things are improving me and my life. so don't gossip. keep your mouth shut when it's needed. people always find out the things you say. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
being brave
     isn't always jumping out of airplanes
                    or
     chasing people who don't love you
being brave
is sometimes
sitting in a little cold room
     unburying yourself
     from the graves
     of your suffering
being brave
is accepting help
when you never wanted it
     but knew that you needed it

- katrina ******
i hated asking for help.
i've always made sure that other people were being taken care of more than i was taking care of myself. i didn't want anybody worrying about me. i put on this facade, making everybody think that i was this badass who had her **** together. always so sweet and caring, without a care in the world. stable.
when that was the furthest thing from the truth.
i was so worried and focused on other people's issues that i wasn't taking care of myself. i had too much pride because i didn't want to have to depend on anybody. i wanted to take care of myself.
that ultimately ******* me over aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that's why i'm in therapy now.
i consider myself to be a brave person to some extent. but accepting help when i never wanted it but knew that i needed it is one of the bravest things i've done so far in my life.
i am nothing
     a simple thing
          without anything
               to show for it
but to you
i am
everything

- katrina ******
"you make life worth living." ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

i write based off of my life. most writers do. some simply get inspiration from the lives of others and write about that. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

i write about many things: death, mortality, conversations with the self, faith, family. but i love writing about love. the condition of the human spirit.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
i love writing about my husband. he helps keep me grounded. he is my foundation in my fixer upper of a home that is my body. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

this piece wasn't written that long ago, but is a reflection of how i've chastised myself. how even when i thought i was worthless, i was still the same kind, caring, beautiful katrina he fell in love with. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

i've struggled with self-love for a very long time. i punished myself in ways no woman ever deserves and never talked about my problems. i didn't want to be a burden. i didn't want people worrying about me when they have their own issues going on. their own lives to worry about. i didn't want anybody worrying about mine when i should've been worrying about it. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

because of some of the things i've done to myself, i ruined myself even more mentally. i was already so...destroyed that i didn't mind hurting my humanity even more. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

i would sometimes lie to myself: i'm just this void. nothing special. just wasted space in a big world that just happened to make room for me. these lies come from this darkness. a destroyer. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

but him? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

he was always there. even when i wasn't worthy or deserving of love. he holds me accountable. he constantly amazes me and inspires me. he is my muse. he glues me together when i feel like falling apart. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
he helped me fall in love with myself again because he loved me more with every passing day.
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
he makes life worth living. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

i love you, sweetheart.
breatheIN
     breathe     o        u        t

remember,

you are the mountain's wonder
sculpted by the earth

to

RISE

above the others

- katrina ******
when i say "rise above the others," i think of the ones who constantly have something negative to say about you. they have to say your name because it tastes good. the taste of your name is so utterly divine and delicious that they can never get enough of it. it's like a drug to them.

your name soothes them but it slowly poisons them. their disdain of you seeps from their soul and drains their own energy because of how much hate they have for you.

forgive them anyways.

continue loving them for all that they are.

when you're frustrated about someone, or something, take a moment. breathe in. breath out. tell yourself that you are blessed. you shouldn't be stressed over things you cannot control.

i hope you're having a wonderful day.
appreciate someone's art
even if it's not your taste
it just came from a
different kind of kitchen

               so sample their heart
               taste their love
               like a crisp peach
               perfectly plucked
               in springtime
              
                         be thankful
                         for their delicious meals
                         feel their love
                         through the soul food
                         they cook everyday

                                   they are why humanity
                                   will never
                                   starve

- katrina ******
you don't have to like what someone writes or paints or how they sing. but appreciate and respect the effort they gave to express themselves.
the world may be
a little too small
for my liking

but it does
bring me
closertoyou

- katrina ******
instagram: @wordsbykatrina
twitter: @_wordsbykatrina
tumblr: wordsbykatrina.tumblr.com
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