there’s a reason for the way my heart quivers
when you speak, when you are silent,
you are here, you are not here. but your name stills my lips,
courses through my ebbing veins, i feel you
igniting my bones all the same.
i love with the whole of my being: give my all,
give you my everything, with the knowledge
that it might never be enough.
you may realize
i am not worth the work. i will give you
the potential to ruin me & if you do,
every second will be precious
because this means you will have meant
to me.
what matters is this: you make me feel
like a person. your smile never ceases
to scrub my soul soft & clean
with light & i want
all of you, your every insignificant
thought, your slightest
expressions, your seething
hurt. give me
your goriest depths &
i will believe them beautiful.
& if you leave, when
you leave, there will be nothing to
forgive. i will watch
your lovely, retreating form with
a smile smoldering my lips because
you happened to me,
you mattered,
& this will sometimes be difficult
to recall to memory, but i will not
forget.
you have taught me to be brave,
brazen, unabashed, unafraid.
the wanting you is worth the probability
of losing & failing. you are worth it.
i give you myself, i give you
my love.
the future is your fingers threading my hair.
my manic hands clutching at your t-shirt
to desperately hold you closer. your breath
becoming my breath. the deathless
entanglement
of our more-than-selves.
[i dive within the catacombs of my heart
for an answer & emerge with
youyouyou]
