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briano alliano at neptune pub


  Smile at Brian, olds


you see as we are searching through the afterlife

looking for friends to call our own

you hear mates calling out to me, to smile at me olds, sure mate

you see if you old fogies, smile at brian

you are paving the way to not smile at me

old biddies smile, oh yeah they do

let’s party party party, a man called me ******* last night

because i use too many caps, because he was scared that writing is too fucken harsh

you see my old mates are forcing my leg to itch

when this mate wants to muck with me,  said mate leave me alone

ya see i am not getting teased or fought,, oh no mate no, i would prefer people to muck with me

as i hear my brother as a child, when he said, we’re not mucking with you, no mate no

i said, probably dad and mum are treating me like a cool kid

cause i bounce on their backs, yeah i felt so HAPPY

you shouldn’t worry about whether or not, i am working now

everyone takes time out from their job to really enjoy life, yeah

you see it drives me crazy, to have my mates say, smile at Brian olds, come on smile at brian

you see brian isn’t like the kids,yeah i fight dad for this, cause he really bothered me

ya know with his crazy adult, trying to keep me with him and mummy, man

i hate it, i hate it, please stop, please stop, please stop, no kids want to be like their parents like this

that is why i looked so negative, and i hate my mates treating me like a negative ****, i prefer to be positive

someone called me ******* over youtube, but i must slowly get myself past this

because the guy was a complete loser, his videos weren’t as COOL, as mine

you see it was like the fucken ARMY, what a loser, baby

i am not *******, dude, no mate no, i wanna have fun, yeah mate yeah

you see, this guy was a stepping stone, ya see he called me a ****** because i do CAPS

i know how to load cool stuff on the computer yeah, i am able to have fun, yeah

this teaser is a real loser, yeah, his videos are boring as batspoo, yeah mate yeah

ok npw here is another song


i am a cowboy a youtube cowboy i play around on youtube oh yeah

i party at home on youtube, oh yeah, yeah, man, i am so cool

i break no rules of the youtube cowboy rules

no i break no rules oh no mate no

i don’t copyright any of my hits, yeah, i am a youtube cowboy, yeah mate yeah

ya see my dad is working overtime, trying to get me to use more lowercase

so he made a person tease me last night, to see how i would act

i am a cowboy a youtube cowboy, i am happy doing songs

i sing oh dear, boy can i sing, and i sing rattatat tat tat tat tat

and every day as i played on cyber space, i saw some kids playing in the back yard

i came up to them and pushed them in the pool, just like a youtube cowboy actually actually does

i am a cowboy a youtube cowboy, i wish these voices would stop

i wish the cosmos would stop pulling our cool kids or anything out of us

no i don’t want a mal-functioned brain, you see that it feels great, yeah

because some of the dead are pulling the wrong things out of me, oh yeah mate yeah

like my nice kid, who was nice to everyone, ya see in this day and age we need to be nice, yeah

yeah party with one hell of a ****** RAGE

i don’t want any online predators, getting their hands on me

cause, i write my stories, dudes, and have a load of fun oh yeah

i am a cowboy a youtube cowboy i have fun, oh yeah i do

ya see, people are interested in what i have to say, so i will wash this loser who called me ******* away

ya see he is a oxymoron, his brain is the size of a pea

i put on my youtube hat yeah, and i say, yeah mate ****** yeah

i told ya i was this cowboy who posts his stuff online, and i have fun doing that

ya see, this is a load of fun yeah, and my youtube shows sure mate, nearly scared the cat

ya see i am on medication ya silly man yeah, i am not ******* no mate no

i can do anything i can put my mind to, yeah i am a cool cowboy, anyway

i am a cowboy a youtube cowboy, no matter what people think of me, i still inspire

please keep your kids safe from online predators and teach them how to handle online teasers

cause i am a cowboy a youtube cowboy, I PARTY I PARTY I PARTY, through each day and night

i hear voices of the reason why they are teasing me, cause i am trying to be a cool young dude, yeah mate yeah

i hate being treated like a ******, but i say to you is this, is this teaser, was as boring yeah mate yeah

if his videos are anything to go by, they could be kids, oh yeah they could be kids

but nothing will stop me from being a cowboy a youtube cowboy

i am not too WOOSEY to be like the computer nerds

i am a cowboy a youtube cowboy, who has fun partying all ****** day long

ya see, i hate how the cosmos lifts people up, when they are acting for a play

why are they so reluctant, to take us famous peoples cool streak away


ok dudes, catch ya later, and to pour methane smoothies all over dad and also my nanny and granny

to get rid of their old fogie, ready to call me sweety old love old chum old PAL oh pet
YA SEE I AM GETTING LAUGHED AT, FOR DRESSING UP AS A GIRL



YA SEE I AIN’T INTO BEING A TRANSGENDER, I JUST WANT PEOPLE TO UNDERSTAND I AIN’T SHY

YA SEE I WANNA DEVELOP CHARACTERS, AND SUSIE IS A CHARACTER OF MINE

YA SEE I HEAR VOICES OF OLD MATES LAIUGHING AT ME, AS I MOVE AROUND

I DON’T WANT TO BE A TRANSGENDER, NO, I JUST DRESS UP AS SUSIE

TO PROVIDE A BIT OF FUN, FUN FUN FUN TILL THEIR DADDY TAKES YOUR TEABIRD AWAY

YA SEE AS I GET UP TO WORK ON THE COMPUTER, I HEAR HIM SAY, YOU ARE STUPID

YOU ARE DRESSING UP AS A GIRL, AND YOU ARE A ******

I SAID, NO, I HATE BEING TREATED LIKE A HOOLIGAN, I HATE BEING TREATED LIKE A STRANGE PERSON

JUST BECAUSE I CREATE FEMALE CHARACTERS

I LIKE TO HAVE, AND I CAN CREATE THE FEMALE CHARACTER VERY WELL

AND AS I ENTERED THE OUTER SPACE, EVERYONE LAUGHING AT ME SAYING

HA HA HA HA HA HA, AS I GOT UP, TO USE MY COMPUTER, I GOT UP AND USE THE COMPUTER

AND PEOPLE LAUGH AT ME, CAUSE I LIKE TO USE MY GIRL CHARACTERS

YA SEE, I CAN DO THE GIRL CHARACTER VERY WELL, SO I WANT TO DO THIS

I KNOW I USED TO BE TOO SHY TO DRESS UP AS A FEMALE WHEN I WAS YOUNG

BUT, I PREFER TO JUST LOOK AT IT, AS I ENJOY LIFE, BEING THE HYP SUSIE

SAYING, YOU DRESS UP AS A GIRL, HA HA HA HA, YOU DRESS UP AS A GIRL

YOU ARE STILL SHY, AS WE TREAT YA LIKE A TRANSGENDER, WHEN YOU ARE DRESSING UP IN WOMENS STUFF

YA SEE, I WANNA SHOW, THAT I AM NOT SHY TO DRESS UP LIKE THIS

I DON’T WANT TO HEAR THE VOICE OF PATRICK LAUGHING WEIRDLY WHEN I DO THAT

CAUSE I WANNA EXPRESS MY INNER GIRL, THE TYPE OF GIRL WHO PARTIES ALL NIGHT

I KNOW IT SOUNDS WEIRD, BUT WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO COPE WITH THIS AWFUL TEASING

YA SEE, I WAS GIVEN WEE, AND THERE IS NO WAY YOU CAN STICK A **** IN A FRUIT BOX

BUT IN HINDSIGHT, NOTHING WENT WRONG, BUT GETTING TEASED IN MY MIND

JUST BECAUSE I PUT PINK HAIR ON AND A FEW PINK AND PURPLE SCARVES

DOESN’T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO LAUGH AT ME LIKE A TRANSGENDER

I WANNA HAVE FUN, I WANNA BRING THESE CHARACTERS TO THE STAGE

I DON’T WANT TO BE A TRANSGENDER, I WANNA BE SOMEONE WHO DOESN’T CARE HOW HE LOOKS

YA SEE, I HEAR VOICES SAYING, YOU ARE A TRANSGENDER, AND WE HAVE NO PLACE IN THIS COMMUNITY FOR YOU

AND I FEEL SOMETIMES LIKE THAT TRANSGENDER ON ALL MY CHILDREN

BUT I AM NOM TRANSGENDER, I AM AN ACTOR, I AM PLAYING A WOMAN

NOT FOR TRANSGENDER PURPOSES, NO FOR READING AND ENJOYING PARTYING PURPOSES

YOU SEE, I DON’T WANT TO GET TEASED JUST BECAUUSE I AM OPENING MY LITTLE GIRLIE

YA KNOW PINK HAIR, AND SCARF AND BANNER, NO I AM A COOL PERSON

DRESSING UP LIKE THIS, IS CALLED HAVING FUN, YA SHOULD TRY IT SOMEDAY

SOMEDAY SOMEDAY, I WILL BE AN ACTOR, SOME DAY SOME DAY, I CAN BRING SUSIE INTO THE REAL WORLD

I KNOW I AM A MAN, BUT I DON’T WANT TO GET LAUGHED AT, ALL BECAUSE I DO THE DRESSING UP AS A GIRL THING VERY WELL

SOME DAY SOME DAY, I WANT TO GET WHAT I WANT, SOME DAY SOME DAY, I WANT TO BE BIG ON YOUTUBE

IF THAT MEANS SUSIE CAN BE POPULAR, WELL, I GUESS THAT IS WHAT I WILL DO, OH YEAH

WATCH AAA YOUTUBE TV ON YOUTUBE

WATCH AAA YOUTUBE TV ON YOUTUBE

WATCH AAA YOUTUBE TV ON YOUTUBE

CAUSE TOO MANY PEOPLE COMPLAIN ORB TEASE PEOPLE WHO DRESS UP AS THE OPPOSITE ***, WHAT IS WRTONG WITH ME

DOING IT, I AM NOT HAVING *** WITH GUYS, NO, I AIN’T A ****, I AM DRESSING UP AS THE GREETING CARD TYPE OF GIRL

AND I DON’T WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A HOOLIGAN, BECAUSE, I PREFER TO LAY MY MESSAGE STRAIGHT

I AM NOT TRANSGENDER

I AM NOT TRANSGENDER

I AM NOT TRANSGENDER

I AM DEVELOPING CHARACTERS, WITH MY DRESSING UP LIKE WOMEN LIKE SUSIE AND BOGAN WOMAN SUE LONGWAYS

THERE COULD BE MORE WOMEN CHARACTERS EMERGING, PLEASE DON’T TREAT ME LIKE A TRANSGENDER

TREAT ME LIKE A FUN LOVING GUY, CAUSE MY SUSIE CHARACTER IS COOL, MAN

AND I DON’T WANNA BE SHY, BE A HOOLIGAN, OR BE A TRANSGENDER, I AM JUST A FUN LOVING STRAIGHT GUY

WHO DEVELOPS CHARACTERS ON YOUTUBE FOR FUTURE STUFF ON TELEVISION

WATCH AAA YOUTUBE TV ON YOUTUBE TO SHOW I AM NOT A TRANSGENDER

I AM A MAN WITH EVIL SPIRITS TRYING TO SAY I AM TOO WOOSEY FOR LIFE

THAT IS NOT TRUE, I LIVE MY LIFE EVERYDAY LIKE IT’S AN ADVENTURE, DUDE

MY AAA YOUTUBE TV PROFILE PHOTO IS THE TWO SOUTH SYDNEY CAKES

I AM NO TRANSGENDER, LEAVE ME ALONE, I AM NO HOOLIGAN LEAVE ME ALONE

I AM A POOR STRUGGLING BUDDHIST ARTIST WRITER AND YOUTUBE ENTERTAINER AND CHARACTER BUILDER, WHO WANTS TO PARTY

I AIN’T SHY TO KEEP SUSIE COOL, MAN

LAUGH AT ME ALL YA WANT, BUT I AM NOT GAY, OR ******, I AM COOL, I AM STRAIGHT

BUT I WANNA HAVE FUN,  YEAH
THIS SHOWS, I AM A STRAIGHT MAN, WHO HAS CHARACTERS
ON YOUTUBE, OF BOTH GENDERS, BUT I LIKE BEING A GUY PLAYING DRESS UPS
I FEEL LIKE PARTYING, AS I AM A SUCCESSFUL YOUTUBE PARTNER





I AM WALKING DOWN CYBER SPACE

PUTTING ON SHOW AFTER SHOW

AND I AM GETTING VIEWS AFTER VIEWS,

YEAH THAT SOUND SO RAD

YOU SEE I DID THIS NEW YEARS EVE SHOW, 13 DAYS AGO

ASND MY FIRST NEW YEAR TIGER SHOW, HIT 31 VIEWS

I FEEL SO POPULAR, I AM FAMOUS, OH YEAH

OH YEAH, I WANNA BE IN THIS JOB, IT SATISFIES ME

YOU SEE I AM A YOUTUBE PARTNER

I FLY AROUND CYBER SPACE ENJOYING MYSELF OH YEAH

I AM A YOUTUBE PARTNER

NOTHING COMES AT POINTING THE FINGER

CAUSE I AM HAVING FUN, AGAIN

YOU SEE, I PUT MY ART, ON FACEBOOK

AND I HAVE LOADS OF FUN

AND I TELL CONSERVOS, THEY CAN GO AND **** A LEMON, OH YEAH

PLEASE BUDDHA I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO DO

WHEN I HIT THE BIG TIME, WITH A DOLLAR TUCKED IN MY NEW YORK STOCKS

BUT THAT ISN’T ME, AND I WANNA BE, IN THE JOB THAT SATIFIES ME

I AM A YOUTUBE PARTNER, I FLY AROUND CYBER SPACE, ENJOYING MYSELF OH YEAH

I AM A YOUTUBE PARTNER, ENJOYING THE PARTY FROM THE VERY START TO FINISH

YOU SEE, I GET ALL THE PEOPLE THINKING I’M COOL

I KNOW I CAN ANNOY, BUT I AM WITH THE PEOPLE THAT WOULD ENJOY

ALL THE STUFF I PUT ON, LIKE MARKY MARK AND THE FUNKY BUNCH AND BARNESY YEAH SOUNDS SO RAD

AND THEN I LOOK AT MY VIEWS AGAIN 30 HERE, AND 12 THERE A LOT UNDER 10 AND A FEW IN THE 20S

AND MY NEW YEAR TIGERS SHOW, GOT 31 VIEWS, LAST YEAR AARON CLAYTON PUT ON A OVER 200 VIEWS

FOR THE RAIDERS SHOW, AND I WANNA BE IN THE JOB THAT SATISFIES ME

I AM A YOUTUBE PARTNER FLYING AROUND CYBER SPACE, WANTING PEOPLE TO NOTICE ME

I AM A YOUTUBE PARTNER, I AM ENJOYING AND LOVING LIFE, THAT’S SO RAD

CAUSE I AM A YOUTUBE PARTNER, I NEVER PUT A FOOT WRONG, I AM ENJOYING LIFE

I AM A YOUTUBE PARTNER, I WANT TO BE A HOUSEHOLD NAME, WELL, I AM ALREADY NAILED IT, YEAH

I AM A YOUTUBE PARTNER AND PROUD OF IT

31 VIEWS IN 13 DAYS FOR MY NEW YEARS TIGER EPISODE

I AM A YOUTUBE PARTNER, AND PROUD OF IT

AND I WILL CELEBRATE THAT AT THE MALL
HI DUDES


I JUST HAD A GREAT NIGHT DOING MY SHOW, AND I CAN SAFELY SAY

THAT IT ALL CAN BE VIEWED ON AAA YOUTUBE TV, I HAVE BROUGHT

ALL MY CHARACTERS, LIKE PUNKALOTTO DUNBAR, AND MARCO AND SUSIE

AND TOPSY THE CLOWN AND BIMMY JARNES AND TWO GREAT SHOWS

BY THE NEW YEAR TIGER, AND EACH CHARACTER HAD A CHOCOLATE

AND TOLD EVERYONE THEIR NEW YEARS RESOLUTION

AND I READ A LOT OF POEMS, AND PARTIED TO A BIT OF GREAT MUSIC

NO, I WANT TO DISPLAY MY CHARACTER BUILDING, TO THE WORLD

CAUSE I AM AT PRESENT GETTING WHAT I WANT, YA SEE I WAS

IN A PLAY LAST YEAR, AND I WAS IN A PLAY NEXT YEAR

I AM PRACTICING MY COOL ENTERTAINING SKILLS

YA SEE I SHOVED CHEESE IN MY MOUTH, SHOWING, I WILL

PARTY LIKE THE RICH, EVEN IF I AM POOR

WE WISH YOU A HAPPY NEW YEAR

WE WISH YOU A HAPPY NEW YEAR

WE WISH YOU A HAPPY NEW YEAR

I HEAR VOICES, YOU ARE BREAKING OUR CODE, BUDDY

OF CANBERRA, WE WANT YOU TO BE AN ADUKT NOBODY LIKES

BUT I SAY TO THAT VOICE, *******, I AM A CREATIVE BUDDHIST ARTIST AND WRITER

AND YOUTUBE ENTERTAINER, WHO LOVES TO PARTY

DESPITE HAVING SHITZOPHRENIA

I DO THIS SHOW, AS A REFERENCE TO STARDOM

WE WISH YOU A HAPPY NEW YEAR

WE WISH YOU A HAPPY NEW YEAR

WE WISH YOU A HAPPY NEW YEAR

WATCH AAA YOUTUBE TV FOR MY YOUTUBE PARTY IN SUBURBAN CANBERRA

YEAH, THEY ARE MIGHTY THE CANBERRA DUDES

WATCH IT ON AAA YOUTUBE TV,
I PARTIED THIS NIGHT, WATCH I WANNA BE FAMOUS AND
HELP YOU DUDES, CAUSE, I USED TO FIND IT HARD TO WRITE
BUT I BEAT MY DEMONS, AND YOU WRITERS CAN TOO
WATCH MY NEW YEARS EVE PARTY ON AAA YOUTUBE TV
BE INSPIRED BY THE MAN IN ME
hi dudes

i have just done my first raiders show, for 2015

the raiders beat the sharks 24-20, it was a great win

my show, is on youtube, at AAA YOUTUBE TV

now, what youtube is doing for me, it is making

me lose all the stutter and flap, and improve future

generations from looking *******, no i don’t think i am *******

but i do believe people tease on the internet,

to disclose views, cause i don’t want to be treated like a man

i am too cool to be a man, and i would like if people treat me like i am famous

or treat me like a person, i know my voices aren’t real

and i am saying goodbye to my voices now

you see you can view my youtube clips or videos on twitter and faceboiok

and just because i have no views, on youtuibe, people are probably looking at it

youtube views don’t count on twitter and Facebook, i am smart enough ya see

i hate being treated like a hooligan just because i like people doing burnouts on the road and loud music

i know people are watching me, i am a star on twitter and Facebook

youtube views yeah, but i am famous other places too

i am not a freak, i just ignored that voice

keep watching me, it’ll be nice to meet ya

i am smart enough, the views i look at are youtube views rat’s all

people like me, i can see in conversation

remember i am twitter, Facebook and youtube

i am cool, my work is out there
HI DUDES AND WELCOME TO THE MOON, HERE IS MY FIRST SONG


WE DON’T NEED NO EDUCAYION, OR WE DON’T NEED KNOW DISCIPLINE

OR WE NEVER NEED PEOPLE TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO

NO, WE NEVER NEED OH NOSEREE

BUT I GOT UP, AND SANG THIS SONG SO LOUD

YEAH OH YEAH BOW BOW

ALL THE PROBLEMS IN THE SCHOOL YARD, WE NEVER NEED THUAT, NO

YOU SEE STRONG KIDS PICKING ON THE WEAK AND VONERABLE

AND FORCING THE WEAK AND VONERABLE TO BE LIKE THEM

JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE JEALOUS OF THEM

WE NEVER NEED ANY DISCIPLINE, DUDE, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, DUDE

BUT WE NEED TO GET RID OF SCHOOL SHOOTINGS YEAH

TOO MANY DUDES ARE GETTING SHOT YEAH

WE NEED TO STOP- THAT, ONCE AND FOR ALL

BECAUSE KIDS ARE INNOCENT, REALLY INNOCENT

THEY DON’T DESERVE TO BE KILLED

YOU CAN’T REFORM THESE SCHOOL SHOOTERS, OH NO

YOU CAN’T REFORM OH NOSEREE, YOU CAN NEVER REFORM THEM NO

SO THE DISCIPLINE, IS MIGHTY BIG IN SCHOOLS

WE NEED TO MAKE KIDS UNDERSTAND, THAT THIS KIND OF DISCIPLINE IS TO PROTECT THEM

LIKE THE SOUND OF THE GUN, IS TO PROTECT PEOPLE, YEAH YOUR NOT READY

FOR THIS WORLD YET, SO GO TO YOUR NEXT WORLD

AND LOVE LIFE, OVER THERE

AND NOW HERE IS DUNCAN

I WOULD LOVR TO HAVE A BEER WITH DUNCAN

I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A BEER WITH DUNC

WE DRINK IN MODERATION

AND WE NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER GET ROLLING DRUNK
\
WE DRINK IN THE TOWN AND COUNTRY

WHERE THE ATMOSPHERE IS GREAT

I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A BEER WITH DUNCAN

CAUSE HE IS MY MATE

I HATE HEARING MY MATE, YEAH I HATE HEARING HIM YEAH

I HATE BEING TOLD THAT ME AND MY BRO AIN’T LIKE US

IN EVERY STRETCH OF THE IMAGINATION

I HATE MY MATE, TRYING TO GET ME TO BE A WILD COOL BOY, OH YEAH

I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY CHAIR, AND DO MY ART AND WRITING AND GIVE FEEDBACK TO YOUTUBE YA SEE

I HATE HIM SAYING I AM LIKE HIM, HE IS A CRAZY ******* OH YEAH

HE SAYS WHEN I GO TO THE SPORT TRYING TO BE LIKE US ARE WE

I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN INTO SPORT OH YEAHJ

AND IF I SAY, I AM INTO THE ARTS, I MEAN I WATCH YOUTUBE WHILEST DOING MY TAPESTRY

I AM NOT A SHY PERSON, WHO DOES WHAT THE COOL KIDS USED TO DO

NO, I DO WHAT I WANNA DO, AND NOT WORRY ABOUT THE COOL KIDS ARE DOING

IF THEY SAY I AM SQUARE, THEY ARE JUST JEALOUS OF MY TALENT AND POWER

I DON[’T WHAT I FEEL, I DO WHAT I WANT, IF I FEEL LIKE I DON[’T WANNA DO IT

I WILL PUSH MYSELF, CAUSE MY SHY MAN IS COMING, BUT THAT IS DAD

TRYING TO EXPLAIN THAT I AM THE SHYPERSON, BUT I AM THE ARTIST WRITER AND YOUTUBE ENTERTAINER

A SHYPERSON IS A STUPID WORD, NO I AM A WRITER AND A ARTIST AND A YOUTUBE ENTERTAINER

THERE IS ONE VOICE BY PATRICK SAYING, BRIAN’S GETTING TEASED

BUT I AM NOT INTO TEASING, BULLYING, FIGHTING, NO NEVER FOR ME

I AM INTIO HAVING FUN, YA KNOW, I USED TO BE A LITTLE SHY BOY, OR A LITTLE YOUNG DUDE

WHO APPEARED TOO SHY TO GO TO BED, WELL, I AM STILL NOT GOING TO BED

AND YOU CAN SHOVE GO TE BED BABY GO TO BED BABY GO TO BED BABY GO TO BED BABY

GO TO BED BABY, YOU NEED YOUR SLEEP, YEAH, BETTER THAN SITTING ON YA CHAIR LIKE A MAN

GO TO BED BABY, YOU AREN’T LIKE US NO, I AM HAPPY SITTING THERE DOING MY ART, SITTING RIGHT HERE

YA SEE, I DON’T LOOK AT ME LEGS IN THAT WAY, THIS IS MY WAY OF GETTING REFORMED

I HATE GOING TO BED, SON, LEAVE ME ALONE, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

I WANT TO BE FAMOUS, SO I PRACTICE ON YOUTUBE, I WANT TO AN ARTIST, SO I DO MY TAPESTRIES SITTING ON THE COUCH

I DON’T WANT TO HEAR PAT’S VOICE, OH NO, OF HIM TREATING ME LIKE A LITTLE YEAH MATE YEAH KID, OH NO

I KNOW THE WORLD, WOULD LIKE WHAT I DO, I AM NO SHY PERSON, SO LEAVE ME ALONE

I LIKE PATRICK, BUT I HATE HIS VOICE IN MY HEAD TELLING ME TO GO TO BED, I AM

ONE PERSON WHO DOESN’T LIKE GOING TO BED, I FALL ASLEEP ON THE COUCH, BUDDY

AND I GO TO ATHENA EVERY NIGHT, SHE WORKS ON MY TEETH, AND IT’S MORE PAINFUL IN WAYS

BUT IT WORKS FOR ME, HE SAYS GO TO BED BABY, GO TO BED BABY, I KNOW I AM A BABY

TOO COOL TO GO TO BED, I LOVE COMPUTERS, THEY ARE THE NEXT GENERATION

PAT HATES COMPUTERS, I DON’T CARE, I LIKE COMPUTERS, CAUSE THEY ARE THE NEXT GENERATION

ME AND PATRICK ARE DIFFERENT, BRIAN LOVES COMPUTERS, PAT HATES COMPUTERS

BRIAN IS WILLING TO WRITE STUFF OUT OF HIM, PAT, IS HAPPY BEING A WATCHER

BRIAN WILL ALWAYS BE A DOER, WATCH AAA YOUTUBE TV, LOOK AT MY ART ON ART COLONY

WATCH AARON CLAYTON AND READ WRITER JOE’S STUFF ON WRITERS CAFE

YA SEE BRIAN IS ON THE COMPUTER’S INTERNET IN A BIG WAY

I HAVE MANY MATES ON FACEBOOK AND TWITTER, AND I DO GET VIEWS ON YOUTUBE

CAUSE I AM FAMOUS, NOW PAT, I STILL LIKE YOU, PATRICK, BUT I CAN’T SHARE MY VIEWS ON COMPUTERS

IT’S EASY TO WRITE STUFF OUT OF YA, I AM NOT TOO WOOSEY FOR THAT

I NEED TO DO THIS, SO I DON’T LOOK AT KIDS LEGS, SO KIDS DON’T FEEL INSECURE.I LIKE KIDS I LIKE KIDS

I CAN WRITE STORIES, IT’S NOT TOO HARD, I AM ON THE MOON SAYING

I WISH I HAD A MONEY TREE, FROM THE INTERNET, AND GO TO THE COMPUTER AND TEAR SOME MONEY

OFF THE INTERNET, TO MY BANK ACCOUNT, THAT’LL BE SO COOL

PATRICK IS TREATING ME LIKE A SHY BOY, I HATED PEOPLE SAYING, I AM TOO SHY TO BE LIKEB THEM

I AM TOO COOL TO BE LIKE THEM

I AM A WRITER

I AM AN ARTIST

I AM A YOUTUBE, PARTNER, PERFORMER, AND AN ENTERTAINER

I AM BETTER THAN THE PEOPLE IN MY VOICES
\
I HATE BEING LABELLED A RICH **** OR A **** IN EVERY SHAPE OR FORM

ALL BECAUSE I AM ON THE COPMUTER BIG TIME

HERE IS A SONG

GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA

SAID THE MONKEY\ TO THE CHIMP

GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA

SAID THE CHIMP BACK TO THE MONKEY

GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA

SAID THE MONKEY TO THE CHIMP

AND THE MONKEY SAID TO THE CHIMP

MATE, YOU ARE A WIMP

AND THE MONKEY SAID TO THE CHIMP

MATEM YOU ARE A WIMP

YA SEE PATRICK DOESN’T WANT TO HASSLE ME FOR WHAT I SAY

HE LIKES ME, FOR I AM COOL

I DON’T WANT TO WHAT I USED TO DO, I DO WHAT I WANNA DO

I DON’T WANT PEOPLE MUCKING WITH ME LIKE THEY USED TO MUCK WITH ME

CAUSE I AM A FAMILY PERSON, BUDDY

I HATE MY VOICES OF PAT IN MY HEAD SAYING, ONLY FAMILY PEOPLE DO THIS OB BRIAN

I SAY, YEAH I AM A FAMILY PERSON, THEM PAT SAYS I AM NOT YA DADDY

AND THEN SAYS GO TO BED, BABY, I SAID, NEH, MY BED IS MY CHAIR

AND MY CHAIR IS WHERE I SIT AND DO ART

SO, STOP TREATING ME LIKE AN OLD BIDDY, I AM A CREATIVE YOUNG DUDE

I AM NOT FUCKEN SHY, BUDDY OLE BOY OLE PAL
i am performing on the moon
I have just uploaded  my breakfast club shows and my topsy the clown breakfast club rave

and i also put on my rockabilly chart show for this week

i wish the workd would understand that i am a famous family person

i would much appreciate if you watch these shows

i know people watch me, and i am trying to be a household name even after death

the chart show, is a really entertaining show

i hate when everyone even my own family treat me like a hooligan

all because i teased dad, back in some third dimension

i will become famous, i will keep up the youtube shows

whether i get enough views or not, but if people took the time

to let me entertain, i don’t want any negative replies

and my nye show is popular, as long as a few others

but please take the time to watch my shows, ok dudes

i am not *******, no i am norm i am as normal, ok

i know the name of breakfast club sounds corny

but i want to show my family, i am not a hooligan

i am a cool family person

and whether dad didn’t wanna be cool or not

i want to be cool, ya see, people are being cruel

when they leave in my head, bullies get top class

sure i am disabled, but i am not *******

i am a nice person who loves life

PLEASE DON’T GET INTIMIDATED BY MY LARGE CAPS

i want to help the homeless, get better acquainted in this world

i don’t want this voice saying, i am not mucking with brian running in my head

i can entertain, just look at my most popular videos on youtube

and hello poetry us popular as well

i want people to like the shows i do, i don;t want to hear all the problem people of the world

who can’t understand i have got inspiration from other you tubers

let me inspire other youtuberrs

i am a family person, and not just to a tease either, i prefer to be a family person to muck around with

please, i am not a rich *****, so stop treating me like a **** and treat me like a person

ya see, some kids called me ******* cause they were scared of the CAPS

DON’T GET SCARED OF THE CAPS

i can handle myself on social media, i need mum to understand that, ok

i want to be a proper family person, who has fun

this weekend i am off to the national multi cultural festival to get more videos for aaa youtube TV, ok

the only wannabe i am is a wanna be FAMOUS, ok dudes

DON’T GET INTIMIDATED BY THE CAPS, OK
HI DUDES AND WELCOME TO THE MOON, HERE IS MY FIRST SONG


WE DON’T NEED NO EDUCAYION, OR WE DON’T NEED KNOW DISCIPLINE

OR WE NEVER NEED PEOPLE TELLING YOU WHAT TO DO

NO, WE NEVER NEED OH NOSEREE

BUT I GOT UP, AND SANG THIS SONG SO LOUD

YEAH OH YEAH BOW BOW

ALL THE PROBLEMS IN THE SCHOOL YARD, WE NEVER NEED THUAT, NO

YOU SEE STRONG KIDS PICKING ON THE WEAK AND VONERABLE

AND FORCING THE WEAK AND VONERABLE TO BE LIKE THEM

JUST BECAUSE THEY ARE JEALOUS OF THEM

WE NEVER NEED ANY DISCIPLINE, DUDE, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, DUDE

BUT WE NEED TO GET RID OF SCHOOL SHOOTINGS YEAH

TOO MANY DUDES ARE GETTING SHOT YEAH

WE NEED TO STOP- THAT, ONCE AND FOR ALL

BECAUSE KIDS ARE INNOCENT, REALLY INNOCENT

THEY DON’T DESERVE TO BE KILLED

YOU CAN’T REFORM THESE SCHOOL SHOOTERS, OH NO

YOU CAN’T REFORM OH NOSEREE, YOU CAN NEVER REFORM THEM NO

SO THE DISCIPLINE, IS MIGHTY BIG IN SCHOOLS

WE NEED TO MAKE KIDS UNDERSTAND, THAT THIS KIND OF DISCIPLINE IS TO PROTECT THEM

LIKE THE SOUND OF THE GUN, IS TO PROTECT PEOPLE, YEAH YOUR NOT READY

FOR THIS WORLD YET, SO GO TO YOUR NEXT WORLD

AND LOVE LIFE, OVER THERE

AND NOW HERE IS DUNCAN

I WOULD LOVR TO HAVE A BEER WITH DUNCAN

I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A BEER WITH DUNC

WE DRINK IN MODERATION

AND WE NEVER NEVER NEVER EVER GET ROLLING DRUNK
\
WE DRINK IN THE TOWN AND COUNTRY

WHERE THE ATMOSPHERE IS GREAT

I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A BEER WITH DUNCAN

CAUSE HE IS MY MATE

I HATE HEARING MY MATE, YEAH I HATE HEARING HIM YEAH

I HATE BEING TOLD THAT ME AND MY BRO AIN’T LIKE US

IN EVERY STRETCH OF THE IMAGINATION

I HATE MY MATE, TRYING TO GET ME TO BE A WILD COOL BOY, OH YEAH

I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY CHAIR, AND DO MY ART AND WRITING AND GIVE FEEDBACK TO YOUTUBE YA SEE

I HATE HIM SAYING I AM LIKE HIM, HE IS A CRAZY ******* OH YEAH

HE SAYS WHEN I GO TO THE SPORT TRYING TO BE LIKE US ARE WE

I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN INTO SPORT OH YEAHJ

AND IF I SAY, I AM INTO THE ARTS, I MEAN I WATCH YOUTUBE WHILEST DOING MY TAPESTRY

I AM NOT A SHY PERSON, WHO DOES WHAT THE COOL KIDS USED TO DO

NO, I DO WHAT I WANNA DO, AND NOT WORRY ABOUT THE COOL KIDS ARE DOING

IF THEY SAY I AM SQUARE, THEY ARE JUST JEALOUS OF MY TALENT AND POWER

I DON[’T WHAT I FEEL, I DO WHAT I WANT, IF I FEEL LIKE I DON[’T WANNA DO IT

I WILL PUSH MYSELF, CAUSE MY SHY MAN IS COMING, BUT THAT IS DAD

TRYING TO EXPLAIN THAT I AM THE SHYPERSON, BUT I AM THE ARTIST WRITER AND YOUTUBE ENTERTAINER

A SHYPERSON IS A STUPID WORD, NO I AM A WRITER AND A ARTIST AND A YOUTUBE ENTERTAINER

THERE IS ONE VOICE BY PATRICK SAYING, BRIAN’S GETTING TEASED

BUT I AM NOT INTO TEASING, BULLYING, FIGHTING, NO NEVER FOR ME

I AM INTIO HAVING FUN, YA KNOW, I USED TO BE A LITTLE SHY BOY, OR A LITTLE YOUNG DUDE

WHO APPEARED TOO SHY TO GO TO BED, WELL, I AM STILL NOT GOING TO BED

AND YOU CAN SHOVE GO TE BED BABY GO TO BED BABY GO TO BED BABY GO TO BED BABY

GO TO BED BABY, YOU NEED YOUR SLEEP, YEAH, BETTER THAN SITTING ON YA CHAIR LIKE A MAN

GO TO BED BABY, YOU AREN’T LIKE US NO, I AM HAPPY SITTING THERE DOING MY ART, SITTING RIGHT HERE

YA SEE, I DON’T LOOK AT ME LEGS IN THAT WAY, THIS IS MY WAY OF GETTING REFORMED

I HATE GOING TO BED, SON, LEAVE ME ALONE, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

I WANT TO BE FAMOUS, SO I PRACTICE ON YOUTUBE, I WANT TO AN ARTIST, SO I DO MY TAPESTRIES SITTING ON THE COUCH

I DON’T WANT TO HEAR PAT’S VOICE, OH NO, OF HIM TREATING ME LIKE A LITTLE YEAH MATE YEAH KID, OH NO

I KNOW THE WORLD, WOULD LIKE WHAT I DO, I AM NO SHY PERSON, SO LEAVE ME ALONE

I LIKE PATRICK, BUT I HATE HIS VOICE IN MY HEAD TELLING ME TO GO TO BED, I AM

ONE PERSON WHO DOESN’T LIKE GOING TO BED, I FALL ASLEEP ON THE COUCH, BUDDY

AND I GO TO ATHENA EVERY NIGHT, SHE WORKS ON MY TEETH, AND IT’S MORE PAINFUL IN WAYS

BUT IT WORKS FOR ME, HE SAYS GO TO BED BABY, GO TO BED BABY, I KNOW I AM A BABY

TOO COOL TO GO TO BED, I LOVE COMPUTERS, THEY ARE THE NEXT GENERATION

PAT HATES COMPUTERS, I DON’T CARE, I LIKE COMPUTERS, CAUSE THEY ARE THE NEXT GENERATION

ME AND PATRICK ARE DIFFERENT, BRIAN LOVES COMPUTERS, PAT HATES COMPUTERS

BRIAN IS WILLING TO WRITE STUFF OUT OF HIM, PAT, IS HAPPY BEING A WATCHER

BRIAN WILL ALWAYS BE A DOER, WATCH AAA YOUTUBE TV, LOOK AT MY ART ON ART COLONY

WATCH AARON CLAYTON AND READ WRITER JOE’S STUFF ON WRITERS CAFE

YA SEE BRIAN IS ON THE COMPUTER’S INTERNET IN A BIG WAY

I HAVE MANY MATES ON FACEBOOK AND TWITTER, AND I DO GET VIEWS ON YOUTUBE

CAUSE I AM FAMOUS, NOW PAT, I STILL LIKE YOU, PATRICK, BUT I CAN’T SHARE MY VIEWS ON COMPUTERS

IT’S EASY TO WRITE STUFF OUT OF YA, I AM NOT TOO WOOSEY FOR THAT

I NEED TO DO THIS, SO I DON’T LOOK AT KIDS LEGS, SO KIDS DON’T FEEL INSECURE.I LIKE KIDS I LIKE KIDS

I CAN WRITE STORIES, IT’S NOT TOO HARD, I AM ON THE MOON SAYING

I WISH I HAD A MONEY TREE, FROM THE INTERNET, AND GO TO THE COMPUTER AND TEAR SOME MONEY

OFF THE INTERNET, TO MY BANK ACCOUNT, THAT’LL BE SO COOL

PATRICK IS TREATING ME LIKE A SHY BOY, I HATED PEOPLE SAYING, I AM TOO SHY TO BE LIKEB THEM

I AM TOO COOL TO BE LIKE THEM

I AM A WRITER

I AM AN ARTIST

I AM A YOUTUBE, PARTNER, PERFORMER, AND AN ENTERTAINER

I AM BETTER THAN THE PEOPLE IN MY VOICES
\
I HATE BEING LABELLED A RICH **** OR A **** IN EVERY SHAPE OR FORM

ALL BECAUSE I AM ON THE COPMUTER BIG TIME

HERE IS A SONG

GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA

SAID THE MONKEY\ TO THE CHIMP

GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA

SAID THE CHIMP BACK TO THE MONKEY

GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA GABBA

SAID THE MONKEY TO THE CHIMP

AND THE MONKEY SAID TO THE CHIMP

MATE, YOU ARE A WIMP

AND THE MONKEY SAID TO THE CHIMP

MATEM YOU ARE A WIMP

YA SEE PATRICK DOESN’T WANT TO HASSLE ME FOR WHAT I SAY

HE LIKES ME, FOR I AM COOL

I DON’T WANT TO WHAT I USED TO DO, I DO WHAT I WANNA DO

I DON’T WANT PEOPLE MUCKING WITH ME LIKE THEY USED TO MUCK WITH ME

CAUSE I AM A FAMILY PERSON, BUDDY

I HATE MY VOICES OF PAT IN MY HEAD SAYING, ONLY FAMILY PEOPLE DO THIS OB BRIAN

I SAY, YEAH I AM A FAMILY PERSON, THEM PAT SAYS I AM NOT YA DADDY

AND THEN SAYS GO TO BED, BABY, I SAID, NEH, MY BED IS MY CHAIR

AND MY CHAIR IS WHERE I SIT AND DO ART

SO, STOP TREATING ME LIKE AN OLD BIDDY, I AM A CREATIVE YOUNG DUDE

I AM NOT FUCKEN SHY, BUDDY OLE BOY OLE PAL
i am performing on the moon
MY GRANNY IS HAYLEY FROM THE BRATAYLEY YOUTUBE SITE

YOU SEE, IVY GIMBERT WHO WAS MY GRANNY, LEFT HER LIFE

IN JANUARY 2004, WHEN I WAS SICK, AND RE ENTERED THE WORLD

AS ANNA IN BRATAYLEY, YOU SEE WHAT MY GRAN IS HOPING

TO ACHIEVE, IS HER GRANDSONS ALL OVER AUSTRALIA

WILL WATCH HER VIDEOS ON YOUTUBE, YOU SEE YOUTUBE STARTED

IN 2004, AND BUDDHA MADE IVY ANNA BECAUSE, THIS IS A WAY

TO REFORM MY EVIL JINGLES LIKE OOPS PLEASE KIDNAP CHRIS

YA KNOW TAKE HIM HOSTAGE TIE HIM UP AND, ANOTHER THING TOO

BUDDHA, WANTED FOR MY GRAN TO BE A HIT IN CYBER SPACE

SO GRAN AND NAN, CAN BE TWO INTERNET SENSATIONS, YOU

SEE NAN IS JOHN ROBERT RIMEL, GRAN IS ANNE, AND ANNE

IS THE OLDEST SISTER, I AM SURE, GRAN IS TRYING TO SHOW

HOW SHE ACTUALLY WAS, BECAUSE, A LOT OF PEOPLE REMEMBER

HER BRI URN, AND ME TRYING TO SHOWSHE IS LIKE  LIKE THE BIG KIDS, BUT BUDDHA REALLY

THOUGHT, IT’LL BE HEAPS BETTER TO PUT IVY INTO ANOTHER GIRL

YEAH, THIS WILL BE FUN SAID IVY, AND IVY WAS PLAYING AROUND IN CYBER SPACE

WITH NAN AND GRAN, AND THEY STARTED UP THESE CLUBS UP IS SPACE

WHERE I CAN PLAY AND HAVE FUN, YOU SEE GRAN IS A BIT DIFFERENT AS SHE

IS GOOFING AROUND AND NAN, IS A 14 YEAR OLD SINGER, SHOWING OFF HER

CREATIVITY WITH THE GUITAR, THROUGH JOHN ROBERT RIMEL, AND, AT PRESENT

HAYLEY IS ENJOYING BEING THE CENTRE OF ATTENTION WITH HER SISTER ANNIE,WHO IS GRAN

AND BROTHER CALEB WHO IS PETER SARGENT, A FORMER KEANE PLACE KID WHO KILLED HIMSELF

WHO DIED IN A CAR ACCIDENT, AND THESE 3 KIDS ARE KNOWN AS THE BRATS, WHILE JOHN

ROBERT RIMEL IS WORKING ON BEING A MUSICIAN, AND THE REASON WHY I KNOW THIS IS

BRIAN ALLAN IN CANBERRA IS CRONUS, AND WATCHES EVERY LIFE, GO FROM DEATH OF LAST LIFE

TO BIRTH OF NEW LIFE, CURRENTLY I AM KEEPING OUR FAMILY TOGETHER, THROUGH BUDDHISM

YA SEE, I HAVE A SPECIAL GIFT, OF BEING THERE IN PREVIOUS LIVES, MY VOICES ARE THE AFTERLIFE

I CAN’T HELP IT, IF I AM CRONUS, DUDES, AND IN 2003 I WAS SICK, WHEN I WISHED GRAN DEAD, I DIDN’T MEAN TO

BUT I CAN ASSURE YOU, BUDDHA TOOK CRONUS OFF ME, SO I CAN THINK ABOUT MY SPECIAL GIFT OF LIFE

BUT I MUST BE CAREFUL, THE INTERNET AND SOCIAL MEDIA, ARE THE BEST WAYS OF GETTING YOUR STORY OUT

MY GRAN IS ANNE FROM BRATAYLEY NAN IS JOHN ROBERT RIMEL, DAD IS ELIZABETH CAMPBELL,

MARK JONES IS SUPERSONIC 3 YEAR OLD LIAM, AND THERE ARE HEAPS MORE TO NAME

MY GRAN REALLY ENJOYS BEING HAYLEY, YA SEE IT’S HER FAVOURITE

THE PARTY IN THE AFTERLIFE, WITH IVY GIMBERT, MAKING THE WIGS AN IN THING, AND A CHEAP WAY

FOR BRIAN TO BE CREATIVE, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BRIAN’S TAPESTRIES

AND IVY’S NEXT LIFE ANNE'S FAMILY HAD A PINK HAIR WIG, JUST LIKE MY SUSIE WIG

AND MY GRANDMA WHEN SHE SAYS BRIAN’S LIKE US, COULD SHE MEANS ONE OF THE CREATIVE FAMILIES

I AM PARANORMAL, I CAN’T HELP IT’S A BELIEF
YA FREAK YA FREAK


WHAT IS A FREAK, IS IT SOMEONE WHO IS DIFFERENT CAUSE THE WORLD IS SO WRONG

IS IT A PERSON WHO LOVES LIFE, BUT DOESN’T TELL ANYONE

I AM NO FREAK, I AM A COOL PERSON, I SIT AND DO MY TAPESTRY

LIKE THE ARTIST YOU CAN SEE IN ME

MY VERSION OF A FREAK IS SOMEONE WHO HATES HEAVY METAL, CAUSE HEAVY METAL IS RADICAL, DUDE

I LIKE AC/DC, AND MOTLEY CRUE AND I ESPECIALLY LOVE MOTORHEAD

THAT IS WHY I LIKED MY FRIEND PATRICK, CAUSE HE LIUKED OR APPEARED TO LIKE HEAVY METAL MUSIC, I AM NO FREAK

AND IF YA CALL ME A FREAK, I WILL BE UPSET, CAUSE, DUDES

I LOVE JUDAS PRIEST, I LOVE JIMMY BARNES, AND THE ONLY REASON WHY I LIKE COMPUTERS

IS SO I CAN KEEP IN CONTACT WITH THE WORLD, WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT, DOESN’T MAKE ME A FREAK THOUGH

IT MAKES ME A COOL PERSON WHO LOVES HEAVY METAL MUSIC

I WANT TO TAKE THE GEEK OUT OF COMPUTERS, CAUSE GEEKS CALL PEOPLE LIKE ME A FREAK

I LIKE TO PARTY IN CLUBS, AND I LIKE TO GO TO THE FOOTY, AND MUCK WITH THE FOOTY FANS

I HATE BEING TREATED LIKE A FREAK, BUT WHAT IS A FREAK

I TELL YA WHAT IS A FREAK, I AM NO FREAK, I LOVE THE COOL PEOPLE WHO GO TO HEAVY METAL CONCERTS

SURE I AM NICE TO MY MUM, BUT THAT DOESN’T MAKE ME A FREAK THOUGH

I JUST AM A VERY NICE PERSON, PEOPLE WHO CALL ME A FREAK ARE THE ONLY FREAKS

COMPUTERS ARE FUN, NONE OF THIS DOS ****, THAT IS FOR THE FREAKS

I LIKE COMPUTERS TO SHARE MY WRITING AND MY ART, AND TO ENTERTAIN

I DON’T WANT TO BE THOSE QUEER PEOPLE WHO ARE TOTALLY GENTLE, I DON’T DO GENTLE

I DO COOL, AND I AM COOL, I’M COOL MAN, COOL YOU, YEAH COOL ME, I AM A BOY ANYWAY

I KNOW YOUR A BOY BRIAN MMMMMMMMMMM YOUR A BOY MMMMMMMM I AM A COMPUTER **** KID, I AM NO GEEK OR NERD MY MATE

GEEKS OR FREAKS ARE PEOPLE WHO HATE COMPUTERS, CAUSE THEY CAN’T GET PAST THE ADULT

I AM NO FREAK, I AM NO GEEK I LIKE COMPUTERS FOR CREATIVITY YA SEE

I WANT THE HEAVY METAL FANS TO LIKE ME, CAUSE YOUTUBE IS THE PLACE YOU CAN WATCH HEAVY METAL FOR FREE

ANY BAND IS COOL, HEAVY METAL MUSIC IS THE BEST MUSIC OF ALL, TO GET YA SOX OFF AND REALL PARTY HARDY WON’T STARTY

I AM NOT A FREAK, I AM A YOUTUBE ******, AN INTERNET ******, I HATE PEOPLE TREATING ME L;ILE A FREAK CAUSE THEY ARE JEALOUS

I DON’T WANT TO GET KILLED OR KIDNAPPED, OR ANYTHING, BUT I AM NOT SHY TO L.OVE COMPUTERS

I WISH THE WORLD WOULD STOP TREATING ME LIKE A FREAK, MY COMPUTER LIKES ARE

HEAVY METAL CONCERTS

LEARNING ABOUT THE WORLD

PUTTING MY ART ONLINE THROUGH ART COLONY

FINDING THE PERFECT PARTY SO I CAN SHARE IT WITH THE WORLD THROUGH YOUTUBE

TO FIND WRITING GROUPS LIKE FOCUS ON FICTION

OLD TV SHOWS I USED TO LOVE LIKE BECKER AND CHARLES IN CHARGE, ETC ETC

I WATCH A LOT OF TED DANSON’S BECKER, YA COULD SAY, I AM A BECKER MANIAC

THERE ARE MANY MORE, I ALSO HAVE SHOWS SHOWING THAT I CAN STICK AT DOING TAPESTRIES, BY INSPIRING PEOP,LE TO BE CREATIVITY

I HATE PEOPLE SAYING I AM TOO WOOSEY TO, TO GOOD ART, BUT OPEOPLE WHO SAY THAT, ARE THE BIGGEST FREAKS AROUND

IF PAT HATES HEAVY METAL,HE IS A FREAK, CAUSE HE HAD A FUNNY WAY OF SHOWING IT, WHEN HE MUCKED AROUND WITH ME

HE GOT ME INTO LOVING HEAVY METAL, AND STOP WORRYING WHAT PEOPLE THINK, I DON’T CARE WHAT PEOPLE THINK

I AM AN ARTIST, I AIN’T NO FREAK, I AM A WRITER I AIN’T NO FREAK I AM A YOUTUBE ENTERTAINER AND INSPIRER I AIN’T NO FREAK

I DO MY TAPESTRY ON YOUTUBE TO SHOW MY STAYING POWER, AND I HAVE STAYING POWER, REAL STAYING POWER

I THOUGHT DAD WAS TREATING ME LIKE A WRITER WHEN HE SAID I WAS LIKE OS, SO TO SPEAK

I AM NOT A FREAK, I AM STILL A LITTLE YOUNG DUDE, WHO IS FINE WITH HIS VIRGINITY

I DON’T CALL ME A FREAK, CAUSE I HAVEN’T HAD ***, I CXALL FREAKS, PEOPLE WHO SAY THEY ARE YOUNG WITH NO SOCIAL MEDIA

I AM ON FACE BOOK AND YOUTUBE, AND I HAVE A STRONG QUOTA ON THE INTERNET, I ASM NO FREAK, I AM NO GEEK

I AM THE COOLEST DUDE IN CANBERRA, AND THERE IS NO DOUBT ABOUT IT

I THINK MY OLD MATES ARE LIVING IN THE PAST WITH ME, EVERYBODY MAKES MISTAKES, EVERYONE HAS THOSEC DAYS

COME ON DUDES, GIVE ME A BREAK, I AM A LITTLE YOUNG DUDE WHO LOVES TO PARTY WITH HEAVY METAL MUSIC LIKE ACCCA DACCA

AND MOTLEY CRUE, AND I WATCH THE CONCERT ON YOUTUBE, DUDES, ALL THE BLASTED DAY LONG

DON’T CALL ME A FREAK, YOUR A FREAK, ESPECIALLY IF YA THINK I HATE PARTYING, I LOVE PARTYING, IT’S COOL FOR ME
dear sir, hi dudes

i am experiencing problems with youtube, you see every time

i put on a video, it takes a long time to load and when it does

load it keeps stop-starting, it makes me feel weird, like i think

the dead are controlling the computer world, i don;t know whether

it’s an iinet thing or a problem in the area, i know that it isn’t the

computer people teasing me, i am past that stage, you see i want

to be able to watch a parade or heavy metal concert or even a broadway musical

you see i still have enough bandwidth, to play the video

i just want to be able to watch a youtube video, without any problems

it’s probably dads spirit that is doing this, because i am a youtube junie

but there must be a way to improve the buffering

i ain’t into upgrades, because i pay enough

i watch mother and son, no problems becker no problems

christmas parade, depends on parade, but still has buffering problems

abl baseball good, but has occasional buffering problems

heavy metal concerts problems with buffering

i am even having occasionally problem with youtube shows

but not a worry at the moment

you see, i want youtube to improve it’s buffering

i don’t know how many people can help me from their houses

i know iinet can if the problem is theres, but why do we have this buffering problem

beats me
hi dudes

last year i had to do, my dad died and i had to share my brieving oh yeah

last year i had to do, you see my previous life cronus, had to reincarnate my dad to betty

you see i was running and walking and i lost energy

because i was really hyped up, i ain’t into fetes at schools

but i had to do that because i was trying to remember dad and grieve

you see dad was throwing down memories

and i was the belconnen santa meeting the tuggeranong santa

you see i had to say, i was the christmas man

i did a lot of youtube videos and i don’t do as much now

because i am getting tired, maybe it’s my body reforming to make sure i don’t back to the psych ward

as i said i had to do that last year because i want to take all the hype out of my brain

so i can totally relax when i am with company

i remember taking a girl to a few concerts at stage ’88 and a tent over near parliament house, ya know john farnham

and sitting near parliament house watching the carols, and i like the lighting of the christmas tree

and i wanted dad and mum to see what canberra has to offer, and

i got hyped up, as my childhood desire of me, wanting to be famous, so i went on the internet

to see what i am good at, and yes, i am good at art, art colony, yes i am good at writing hello poetry

yes i can put a show on, youtube, and i am into a lot of what youtube has to offer, on my Facebook page

you see, i know i said, i will never go on Facebook but i had to, i am famous on the computer

and last year, dads spirit was getting into my body, and most of my videos were created by dad

and dad isn’t around, he’s betty, actually what is really happening, i am having fun, but i am getting tired

from entertaining, you see i had a few good ideas from youtube, like the carols by computer screen

i will be doing that again this year, and i am bringing bing crosby back to life as him and frank sinatra

were getting their spirits into my body, to let people know what christmas shows used to be, dad helped

you see dad taught us how computers can relive the past, youtube has dads spirit all through, but in a way

the people on youtube do things that dad wouldn’t approve of, even me, but everybody is different

you see preaching discipline is wrong, because you go to the youtube page, to learn what different people

are doing, you see when i was young i was sort of the black sheep of the family, in a way, i just disappeared

like what happened in 2013, and dad told us about his cat who used to turn the radio channel to the smokey dawson show

you see he lived his childhood from radio, but we were one of the only families who had a computer back in the 80s

well, we weren’t really, i am sure many more families had computers in the 80s, but not as much as now

dad looked like an old fogie, and i was teasing him, but that doesn’t mean i hated computers, and it doesn’t mean i hated dad

because in those days, only old fogies had the best computers, and in those days, you had to have money to be famous

you had to be good also, you see last year in 2014, i was having problems with the death of my dad, i was writing all this crap

and i couldn’t get  the anger out of my body and it was hard, but i finally got it out, but dad took a while to bring me back

because i like heavy metal, and i like the idea of bringing the carols by computer screen to life, i might seem like an old fogie at the moment

but that is better than being too woosey to be a computer nerd, you see dad is helping me be able to read my poems at the poetry

slam on the 3rd wednesday of each month, you see back in the 90s, i couldn’t read poems like this, and i got teased for that, but

i ain’t living in the past, well if i did, i will live in the year 0f 2002, when i started writing stories and poems, you see writing is better

than sitting on the sideline, when i have a talented family, and i am inheriting some of that talent, but i still like being lazy though

so i sit on my couch doing my tapestry like a cool adult ya see, you see, i find bing crosby and frank sinatra are the best christmas

entertainers, and i have written a few christmas carols like my version of white christmas, i am dreaming of a white christmas well stop

cause it’s too **** hot for that, and summer weather instead of winter weather and the good old winter wonderland, i have a carol summer wonderland

on the beach we can build a sandcastle, and bury uncle robbie in the sand, and my father came out saying carn ya bludgers, give your ****** mum

a ****** hand, you see i remembered dad said, i shouldn’t use ******, but i am taking the mickey out of the aussie language

but i stuck at my guns, determined to bring my carols by computer screen to life, being hyped up, but despite last year

getting a lot of fans, i still was hyped up, like, i want to host the raiders show properly but i need to relax, and at the end of this year

i will dressing up as a bird at the belconnen arts centre doing the cha cha and doing movements to the costume makers story of the bird

i am looking forward to that, and i promise i will be the best bird there, dads spirit is there trying to make people understand that this is

something i like, because this year has been a bit slow for me, but the bird piece will see if i could do movement well, which will bring me

to broadway in my next life, and maybe it might get canberra away from the group status, because i don’t give a toss about canberra

i am still enjoying my life, i have a lot of confidence in myself to be a good actor, mind you, who cares if there might be a few hiccups this year

i still got through it, i will be continuing to do carols by computer screen, this year i am spending christmas eve, with my mum, watching

the muppet family christmas and the carols by candlelight in melbourne and we will have lucky dips, buying thins $3.00 and less

and we are going to the stage ’88 christmas carols together, bringing a picnic dinner, and sing waving candles  to and fro

you see i am determined to keep bing crosby’s spirit still on earth over the computer,
Mateuš Conrad Jul 2018
.wow, i never thought it would ever be possible,
i'm sorry, i have no empathy for these youtuber "creators",
any idiot can regurgitate the news,
venture into vulture journalism,
  then again: gone are the days of closely associated
with people like Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein...
they are really gone: what the hell was gamer-gate
compared to watergate? gate after gate,
and all i'm hearing is response videos,
it should have never come to this,
whereby journalists are as untrustworthy as politicians,
and of what remains, come the saturday and
the sunday editions, when the petty bourgeoisie
come out of the woodworks of a week,
album reviews, book reviews, t.v. reviews,
restaurant reviews: real, real journalism,
all the grit you'd expect from a warzone...
           journalists forgot they were not kindred spirits
of politicians: but immediacy historians...
the front-line history chroniclers...
i find... these days, esp. these days...
    you know why i like heidegger so much,
and forget the fact that he joined the **** party?
in 1938 he was already disillusioned by it...
so the ad homine fallacy bites the dust...
   even a **** deservers a redemption...
but i find that these days, of all days...
   man, as a historiological creature has to bow
before the unshakeable facets of the biological man,
esp. in the english speaking world...
    in terms of history and biology:
     history has all the fun stories,
and a sensible "concern" for time,
   well... if not "concern" then at least a bearbable
time-frame...
                  after all, i am the one who said:
all the great deserts of the world,
akin to sahara? they were once great
mountain ranges... you already know where
to look between a mountain range akin to the alps
and a desert... bound to h'america...
   monument valley: utah...
  a mountain becomes a rock after a while...
while the desert expands...
    ayers rock (uluru)... but monument valley (utah)
is a transition period between a mountain range
and a desert, if we're going to stand outside
of all space and time, and look back in...
we have plenty of time to catch-up on...
           just like i believe that black holes
are actually 2-dimensional objects:
   that spin really fast, giving an impression
of them being 3-dimensional objects:
as usually represented by a gravity dip associated
with them pulling matter into themselves...
i think that black holes are paradoxes...
since how can a 2-dimensional object
actually exist in a 3-dimensional space?
   that depends on the size of the "3-dimensional"
object / space... the universe is a medium,
it's defined as a "space" but to me...
      it's beyond space... it's only space on the grounds
of isolated time, 365 days,
the time and space it takes for the earth
to orbit the sun... which is an isolated example,
outside? well: there's atmosphere on earth,
outside? vacuum!
who's going to prove my theory wrong?
               not anyone in my lifetime -
besides the point with these youtube content
"creators": where credit is due, credit is due,
but once might have cared for their vulture
journalism... two old farts akin to felix (black pigeon
speaks) and sargon of akaad talking about how:
the youth are congregating to youtube to listen
to music: that's what i've always done...
  i discovered these youtube "creators" by accident,
i just wanted my jukebox back, man,
i wanted my algorithm back, my imprint back,
now that the devil's dozen scenario took hold
of the platform: 1 video playing, 12 back-ups...
and they're all the same, unrelated, *******...
        talk all you want, please, just give back
my algorithm imprint, where i can discover new music...
again... i never thought i'd see another
compilation video, 173 videos bound to one...
and, mind you... after finding about 6 googlewhacks
(googlewhack? when you use the sort of
language that provides you with only one search
result on the behemoth platform of billions
of results, 1 is grand, but 6? it's becoming too
predictable)...
                        so here's what i found
   (band - song):

wooly mammoth - mammoth bones / kyuss - space cadet,
rainbows are free - last supper / grand magus -
                                                mountain of power,
zed - lies / om - cremation chant I & II,
    smoke - hallucination / weird owl - white hidden fire,
orchid - son of misery / witch - seer,
               unida - you wish / black mountain - old fangs,
b.r.m.c. - ain't no easy way /
              jack daniels overdrive - ****** to death,
shrinebuilder - blind for all to see,
                   datura - mantra / the heavy eyes - voytek,
the machine - infinity / clutch - the regulator,
   colour haze - mountain / maligno - son of tlalocan,
dozer - twilight sleep / gomer pyle - albino rattlesnake,
blockback - dead mans blues / greenleaf - witchcraft tonight,
cactus jumper - right way / borracho - bloodsucker,
alabama thunderpussy - motor ready,
                    earthless - sonic power,
my brother the wind - death and beyond,
   zaphire oktalogue - carrion fly / siena root - reverberations,
unida - slaylina / pothead - toxic / sungrazer - mountain dusk,
   rotor - costa verde / blizaro - it's in the lighthouse,
planet of zeus - woke up dead,
     kongh - pushed beyond / ufomammut - smoke,
high on fire - to cross the bridge,
              the secret - bell of urgency,
      unida - wet pussycat / dozer - big sky theory,
cavity - chloride / brutus - swamp city blues,
the grand astoria - something wicked this way comes,
sasquatch - the judge / pharaoh overlord - skyline,
baby woodrose - love comes down / kamni - **** of satan,
lay with me - the flying eyes / cowboys & aliens  -
                                                out of control,
sons of otis - liquid jam / hainloose - recipe,
    ridge - rancho relaxo / bongripper - ****** sutherland,
skraeckoedland - cactus / grails - satori,
    lo-pan - chicken itza / five horse johnson - people's jam,
blind dog - don't ask me where i stand,
     wiht - orderic vitalis / hisko detria - nothing happens,
liquid sound company - leage for spiritual discovery lives,
   goatsnake - black cat bone / gandhi's gunn - rest of the sun,
the egocentrics - wave / propane propane - it's alright,
heliotropes - ribbons / mother mars - price you pay,
che - the knife / annimal machine - condenado,
   earth - tallahassee / the whirlings - delirio,
orchid - heretic / maeth - horse funeral,
siena root - rasayana / graveyard - longing,
           tia carrera - hell / hainloose - recipe,
      burner - five pills (and a bottle of whiskey),
dala sun - guilty for ****** / vulgaari - lie,
        slo burn - muezli / stonehelm - zombie apocalypse,
smallman - evolution / spiders - fraction,
         shakhtyor - e. jaspers / earthmass - lunar dawn,
evoke the lords - dregs / colour haze - silent,
     sutrah - el septimo viaje...

  

who are "these" people,
who: "supposedly" live for the future...
they always cite it,
as the one motivational
momentum of the present -
it's as if they've never seen
a bull itch the ground
with its front hoofs -
   imitating building up momentum
before a charge...
or how a slingshot,
or how a bow works...
   to these people,
the ******* sideways movement
of a bow against a violin...
sometimes...
      you do not retreat into
the past, to hide, to amount
to nostalgia...
     sometimes
the only reason for the reflexive
affirmation, confined to maxims
and aphorism, nay: even poems!
is to look back...
     to reap what was once
sowed, rather than sow blindly,
and reap: what no one wants
to reap...
    drunk? getting there...
       it felt so relaxing paying off
a 100 / 250 part of a debt
i owe her...
            while buying a russian
standard liter,
   asking for a 100 cash-back
of the supermarket cashier,
- the limit is 50,
   but if you buy something else,
i can give you another 50...
- oh... ok...
   so me went to and took a bottle
of shveedish cider...
   rekorderlig...
   mind you? the swedish,
what they perfected fermenting
better than what the the irish claim
to fame is?
    sorry... magners:
               irish? stick to the guinness...
(it's actually the only cerveza
i'd go into an english pub to
drink from the tap... bottled? canned?
not the same)...
     but with such swedish delights
such as the above mentioned,
  ålska and K  ö   nigsberg
                            *œ
?
no competition... the suede(s) just
do one thing grand...
    cider...
- what was i talking about?
  ah... the "dreaded" past...
     the people who say:
  but you can't live out a life,
   holding onto a private past,
a memory...
    so... these other ******* were
allowed to implant a false
past, unrelated to me,
teaching me whether it was
Newton, or Leibniz who first
invented the infinitesimal calculus
method?
                i'm betting on Leibniz...
after all... he took the position
of a ******* librarian...
   and he wasn't buried with pomp
& circumstance at Westminster Abbey...
sometimes...
         one person can't have it all...
but if the education system
is a system that is indicative for
the erosion of memory, esp. private
matters... and juggernauts in
with these selective rubrics of science
and history...
fair enough the basic
implants: numerical arithmetic,
and lettering arithmetic -
    and then... lessons in mental
entertainment... when applied
           to menial labour...
memory is: supreme...
          i can't give my memory up...
that's what: killer proteins
eating the fat tissue of the brain
like starvation in reverse
        of a case of Alzheimer's?
memory is: cameo cinema -
    however distorted it might be,
although i beg to differ on
whether time per se,
  is not the better psychedelic
component
when coupled with memory -
esp. the cinematic aspect of memory...
there was never a "living" in
the past -
      there was a point about memory
to sharpen the edges of
    "dasein"... all speculation and
questions regarding consciousness,
as championed through
a chimpanzee's *** are somehow
pointless:
    given there's a higher tier of
conceptualization -
   working from dasein...
            hierjetzt -
      or in english?             presence...
- because why would i treat
a personal memory,
like some inorganic entity of
a schooling system,
under Catholic measures,
  that made it necessary to include
Pythagoras... but not Horace?
that's inorganic memory...
and unless i turn into some
inorganic entity -
   the organic aspect of my psyche:
my past, my cameo cinema?
   that's going to be a leech,
attached to me...
  and i'm not going to give it up,
just like... when i walk about
my door, and enter the england
that i know on the peripheries...
i'll speak the lingua franca -
     but with my privacy?
    you'd better cut my tongue off
before i stop speaking
my western slavic heritage...
    and it pains me...
when certain groups of immigrants...
don't know the POINT
where immigration becomes
insensible... self-lacerating...
           i once hated their approach...
now i just pity them...
anyone ****** can juggle
     two oranges rather than three...
p.s. old school cure for a cold?
forget the pills...
   glass of warm milk,
  an egg yolk,
     and a good scratch of butter...
  (on the rare occasion,
  milk infused with garlic)

mixed together...
before bedtime...
  if the ****** won't sweat out
the bacteria during the night...
     well... stick to the synthetics...
i'm pretty sure i know why i drink...
certainly not to: PARTY PARTY PARTY...
i always aim for
the one safety net of "pharmacology"...
ssssssssleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

p.s. so much for children loving their
parents...
        in vitro and the whole
m.g.m. debacle:
so, sweet little *******,
       no *******, no chance for your
for a quickie satellite launch date from
Tehran, under all the weight of
monotheism turned secular...
christianity: the only "monotheism"
with overt tinged of polytheism,
lutheran, baptist, catholic, orthodox...
just today i opened my door twice...
once to a confused curry house delivery man:
did you order some food:
i too replied with a confused look
and the word: huh?! no.
then a black woman with a a white ol' granny
came by with a leaflet...
the jehovah's witnesses were on my trail...
lucky of my grandfather,
   the profanity brigade of the hebrew name
i will not dare utter came by...

  and if you have lived a good enough life:
memory? memory beats hollywood
technicolour and CGI...
at least in the cinema of memory i always
get to play the cameo (role)...

oh i get the youtube creators:
   living with his parents... still. aged 33...
funny that i don't mind them,
since they're getting older they're settling
into their solispsism,
        annoying as ****, but i stand them,
thank god the protruding caduceus veins
on my phallus protected me from
a circumcision...
  i can ******* like a girl with a web-cam...
no scented candles:
the no. 1, 2 & 3 on the throne of thrones...
the toilet, simultaneously masaging my ****
and prostate...

men were not exactly supposed to derive
pleasure from ***: they were,
supposed to give pleasure,
and in giving pleasure to one outlet,
they were subscribed to finding out what
best pleases them: ergo?
women would always derive more of
the people from *** than men would ever...
*** is not a story of bragging about
a harem... the woman lies flat...
the man pumps her...
after all... she is the one burdened
to carry a child, why wouldn't she be
the one deriving more pleasure from *** than
a man could ever?
72 virgins! ha ha!
   ah ha ha!
             what's the ratio?
   last time i checked... a 3 hole caravan...
of a woman's worth...
   mouth, ******, ****... and man?
only two points of entry, well...
"entry"...
                    seems that the tomatoe,
really is a fruit, but is treated like a vegetable
nontheless!
homosexuality in the 1960s...
william burroughs in Tangiers...
                    when Islam was quiet radical...

well... i cook, i clean...
                what are my other options of continuing
to write and living the ed gein "lifestyle",
i tried getting social housing in england,
but, i'm not a somali with two wives and a dozen
kids...
              rent, in london?
extortion...
                   housing shortage...
                 well there's me hating my parents,
the outside world just needs to see
an ed gein imitation...
               or there's me living off acorns
in the woods, or rummaging on the streets,
making the N25 bus from oxford st. to ilford
my own personal mobile hotel as a homeless
man in london...

   i think it's time to succumb to your
parents prejudices, if only for the jokes,
no point in making ethical high judgements
to fit into a zeitgeist narrative surrounding
yourself with people: you'd never eat a meal with...
that's how i define the highest form of respect:
if i'll eat with you: implies that i respect you...
i drink alone...
a high school fwend once thought he could
bribe me with his company,
that i "had to" drink with him...
      no... not really...
          i much prefer drinking by myself...
these days you're not expected to honour your
mother and your father,
i.e. make them proud...
               honour is a double-edged sword...
just don't be ashamed of having
a mother or a father...
not that hard: given western divorce rates...
i.v.f., frozen eggs... yadda yadda yadda...
lucky me in having went to university...
oh... really? so much cooler in a cosmopolitan
environment with your contemporary
flat-mates?
               get the picture?
                 paying rent while literally living
in a diguised cardboard box?
i can't help the fact that poetry doesn't pay...
that there are economic factors beyond
my control in play...
   maybe if i was the grandson of my parents,
born in england, and not elsewhere,
there would be some sort of + leverage...
for a bricks and mortar start-up...
plus... i hoard...
         books and music...
                     mind you:
neither of my parents spoke english as their
mother tongue...
  neither did i...
they didn't teach me this tongue:
i had to teach this language by myself:
for myself...
           aged 8: thrown into the deep end
of the pool: now swim ******, swim!

i just feel sorry for the immigrant parents
who gave birth to their children into the *****
of the land they immigrated to...

two days ago i found a heartbreak,
a romanian couple, with a child...
the father was stubborn in teach his daughter
his / her native sprechen...
romanian... but she was already speaking
perfect antithesis of accent kindergarten english...
and almost non-responsive to her tongue
alligned to her biology...
    clearly she was born in england,
but her parents were both romanian...
i've had that conundrum in my head
for a long time...
   what if i married an english girl...
and i was unable to teach my offspring
my native language,
what if i had to silence my native tongue,
"forget" it, or only speak it by myself,
via reading a book in western slavic?
what if the woman i married:
wouldn't see the benefits of bilingualism,
outside of the mainstream economic
mantra of ensuring your children
learn either german or mandarin or arabic?
that worried me...
          oh believe me, i enjoy my lapses
into english: since i am providing the groundwork...
but in the case of having offspring...
e.g. teaching them the western slavic tongue
so they could speak to their grandparents
(i.e. my parents)...
       even my grandparents lament
the scenarios when a woman would marry
an austrian... and she wouldn't teach
her children her native tongue,
and when the grandchildren would visit their
grandparents... they'd be speaking
a crude variation of braille, morse,
   sign-language: na migi...
               i know that my mother is alive
in me even under this veil of english...
because she's more than the womb,
the genitals of my conception, the breast fed off...
she's also the Atlas of my vocabulary
of the "hiding" tongue beneath this one...

i already knew the "game" was rigged from
the get-go... i've seen how one hindu woman
suffered being married to a scouser...
she never managed to pass on her language
to her children,
she bought a library, thinking her children
would succumb to learning: however poor
they might end up being...
but she was suffocated by the english
tongue of her husband...
and her children didn't express even the most
vague of desires to learn their mutterzunge...

that's what worried me to begin with,
marrying an english woman i was afraid
of the ignorance that someone bilingualism
was en route toward a psychiatrist disorder
i was diagnosed with: schizophrenia...
this anglophonic ignorance still scares me...
like: everyone is expected to speak the revisionist
globalist lingua franca: this anglo lingua...
if i didn't meet a bilingual / polyglot woman,
i'd return to rearing idiotic children...
anglo lingua was only supposed to be a middle-ground,
a "no man's land"...
             a language of trivial economic transfers...
a language primarily orientated around usage:
rather than an ethno-centric basis for "englishness"...
to **** with: god save the queen...
the british grenadiers' fife & drum...
                 old scot dragoons': auld lang syne...
those where my forever anthems...
see...
        what gave birth to a jihadi john?
his mother "forgot", his father "forgot":
his "mother" forgot, his "father" forgot to speak
the "ancient" tongue...
there's a point to integration of the immigrant,
an immigrant is a forgetful creature,
an ever pleasing creature...
never to mind himself as an ex-pat...
you ****** forget your mutterzunge...
you'll be speaking in cockney accents
with broken affairs of arabic beheading people
for zombified reasons of grandeour!
*******...
          you, you: you are to blame!
you were so ashamed of your parents that you
delved on honoring them to the point
of thinking giving pride unto them was very
much akin as keeping shame away from
their girdle of the wedlock of your own existence!
death has not made your a martyr...
i guess you deserve those 72 mishaps,
those 72 annoying voices...
and i pray to god that you receive your reward!
i hope that among the 72 you will never find
a chance a repose to find your: self!

integration is one thing,
pandering to the "elites": plebs who think they
are kings among the plebs,
is quiet another...
plebs who go places and think english
is a universal tongue: just because
uncle sam says so...
of those i respect:

y cymraeg: pwy dal eu tafod...
an gàidhlig: cò fhathast bruidhinn an cuid teanga...
i nawet moim: co ma mówić
to nawet tyle: co znaczy tak niewiele!

there are boundaries... learn the customs
of the natives, but ensure you retain the customs
you were born with...
a child, born in a foreign land,
ought to ensure his parents teach him
the words to speak to his grand overseers...
complete immersion,
this cultural abortion,
this cutting of the umbilical chord
from: i have never met a people so
content at having been subjugated outside
the indian sub-continent,
cricket... for ****'s sake...
       as to demand other europeans
to treat them as superiors,
when sitting alongside an englishman...
****-bud-bud, the **** are you on about?!
once again: england has become the circus
for the grounding of what began
with engels and marx...
   wasn't communism born from
engels and marx observing english society?
sure... first experimented en masse in
mongolia... but its origins?

   so of course i had problems finding a suitable
mating partner... i was afraid that my nativ-zunge
would die a slow but solemn death...
that an english bridge would not consider
the worth of a bilingual child, or a polyglot,
or that she would repress the chance of my
"biological continuum nuance" to respond outside
of the anglo lingua refrain of: beside the english language?
there are quiet a few one might want to learn...

it's not easy being a first generation immigrant,
esp. if you moved aged 8, mute as a wolf
to a domesticated dog's barking...
but hey, no jihadi john in me...
           jihadi john should have been raised
bilingual... i wouldn't be the one speaking broken
tourist arabic while beheading someone...
jihadi john spoke tourist arabic...
the dichotomy of the mind to the biological
reality, beside the current, western,
"biological relativism" debate...
      clearly darwinism was "wrong"...
man is, these days, left with neither a biological
reality, nor a historical reality...
              but there is a historical reality:
but it's so knit-&-picky...
come on... philip augustus of the capetian
dynasty?
                 casimir III...
                        jeremi wiśniowiecki...
konrad I of masovia...
                           kuno von lichtenstein...
alles ist gott: und gott ist alles -
  gott mit, uns!

              mit eine leben wert leben:
    erinnerung ist die nur kino
             wert sehen eine film beim;

hell... could be worse:
   i might have translated some latin
of horace into pig-trough comfort food.
Mateuš Conrad Nov 2018
.here's a schematic representation of the changes to the youtube algorithm... the changes look as follows A(c) B(b) C(a)... or perhaps even Ab Bc Ca... or even A(b) B(a) C(c)... there are variants, all in the same vein of argument... the dictionary / thesaurus standard of the algorithmic categorical impetus... which "miraculously" disappeared... sure... the alphabetic order is somehow intact... but the synonym aspect of expansion is lost... i have lost access to, say A... and subsequent (a), synonyms... and instead "gained" access to the antonyms (b / c)... there's literally a linguistic explanation to the conundrum of the current algorithm... A doesn't follow with (a), but rather (b / c)... B doesn't follow with (b), but rather (a / c); and C doesn't follow with (c), bur rather (a / b)... if this new youtube algorithm were akin to a dictionary.... i'd be looking up a word like aardvark, and subsequently finding an word like chipmunk next to it... (a) contradicts (c)... although both are synonyms in the category B, i.e. burrowing (mammals)... but an *aardvark is not a chipmunk... this new youtube algorithm is *******... never try to fix something that's not broken... but given how this current guise of the algorithm, will not be fixed... the fun of the internet died this year... and it's not like the high street has music shops... how many ******* shoes, clothes and mobile phones do i actually need?!

why would i put myself through all this...
listening to online political
commentary response videos?
now i can't find *rob zombie
's song
michael on the jukebox...
         first they took the music shops.
and then they went after
the internet jukebox...
        i have to lament these changes...
"improvements"...
   spending a night engrossed in
brick walls while drinking
has become the most exciting
"revision" of: things to do when drinking...
2 hours of cramming
undisturbed rhetoric,
  and no dialectics in sight...
           a ******* brain-drain...
custard / fudge for thought...
          two seagulls regurgitating
food from the stomachs to feed their chicks...
i couldn't care about
these youtube political commentators...
i'm sorry...
    i can't give a ****...
     whoever is to blame,
i blame both sides...
                  "my" jukebox is ****** up!
the only recommendations
are what i've already seen!
   once it looked like:
           the thesaurus project...
in terms of the ontology of algorithms...
something synonymous was
always suggest...
  e.g.?
             the song helvegen
by the Nordic band wardruna
would be associated with
   the song federkleid
by a band faun...
               or the song lifa
by the band heilung...
             the ruck has only girl (in the world)
by rihanna have to do with
project thesaurus?!
or ke$ha's song die young?!
the internet media commentators
have...
   i've spent the past two hours...
equally zombie-prone like i might
watch the mainstream...
  the jukebox's ******!
          i can peruse the music scene like
i used to...
  clearly, in a classical music shop...
you wouldn't have a Britney Spears
record lodged in the punk category...
whatever they did...
  the current algorithm has
not categorical imperative...
              it's all jumbled up...
   pop sits alongside black metal...
jazz sits alongside classical music...
  rock is mingling with rap...
how did these people **** up
a formerly pristine algorithm?!
  that had the knowledge of a categorical
imperative...
   a hyena was a mammal,
a whale was an aquatic mammal...
a pig was a mammal...
              a spider was an insect,
    and a cod was a ******* fish...
the end...
      i've reached the critical sentiment
of, either a nihilist or a cynic that...
who gives a **** if you can speak
freely..
        hell... it's not even revelatory or
simply plain obvious what you're saying...
the ******* jukebox is down,
and you're partially to blame!
             what?! no cause: no effect?
   the algorithm has lost its knowledge of
proper coordination of categories...
these days...
    red is no longer a noun...
it's... a verb...
                     the current algorithm
is transgender...
you made a ******* transgender algorithm...
well done!
i need music to think,
    the current tirades of youtube commentary
make my brain turn into
fudge for about two hours...
after i snap out from the mantra...
free speech this... hate speech that...
what was once the only site to explore...
and subsequently buy the music...
this is the only reason i've succumbed
to the statement: the internet is dead...
well... because internet banking,
nor internet retail will not be affected...
working pristine...
             but the experience of finding
new music?
                that's affected...
and it's affected by youtube commentaries
antagonizing mainstream media...
sure, great...
    but the jukebox is ******...
      and because of that?
        i'll care, sure i'll care...
                  when a get to play
the xylophone on my rib-cage
with the embodiment of a ghost form...
on my post-decomposing skeleton!
having gained so little,
we've lost so much...
      what, a comment section on one of
these videos will, "somehow"
compete with my enjoying some decent
music?
         FAT CHANCE.
HI DUDES


YOU SEE IN 2004 I THOUGHT THAT THE ENGLISH MEDICAL DRAMAS HOLBY CITY AND CASUALTY WERE

THE GATEWAY TO HEAVEN, OR NIRVANA, AND IN 2003 I WAS IN A PLAY THAT WAS SUCCESSFUL, AND

WE HAD TO SCRIPT IN HAND, WHICH I FOUND COOL, I AM LEARNING WITH THE SCRIPT OUT OF HAND, BUT I PREFER

TO PLAY COOL AND ACTIVE ROLES, ONLY BECAUSE OF THE WAY MY SCHITZOPHRENIA IS, I CAN’T FOCUS

I DID WELL LAST YEAR IN THE PLAY, CAUSE I ONLY HAD SHORT FUN ROLES, YOU CAN MAKE A LOT OF MONEY ON SHORT

ROLES, I KNOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE PREFER THE PROFESSIONAL LOOK, AND THAT IS WHY I DON’T THINK I AM

THE YOUNG DUDE LEVEL, I LIKE BEING AND LOOKING YOUNG, DUDES, BUT, I WOULD PREFER TO JUST BE IN FUN PLAYS

SO I CAN SAY, I KNOW, MY STORIES ARE WORTHY OF BEING PUT IN A PLAY, AND I REALLY WANT TO GET MY STORIES

ON THE STAGE AND SCREEN, YOU SEE, I HAVE STORIES LIKE CAPTURED IN THE PSYCH WARD AND RAINBOW VILLAGE

AND ALSO TABITHA ALL GROWN UP AND THE ALLAN FAMILY STORY, AND I WOULD ESPECIALLY LOVE THE COOPERS

BECAUSE I USED TO PLAY THAT IN MY BEDROOM, AND IT’LL BE RADICAL TO SEE THAT BEING ON SCREEN OR STAGE

YOU CAN SEE MANY STORIES ON HELLO POETRY UNDER JOHNNY GEORGIE BROWN AND WRITERS CAFE UNDER WRITER JOE

AND CHECK MY FACE BOOK PAGE, BRIAN ALLAN WITH A **** KIDS GAOL TAPESTRY AS THE PROFILE, MIND YOU

I THINK THAT THE **** KIDS GAOL WOULD BE A GREAT SHOW TO BE ACTED OUT, I AM NOT READY TO DIE YET

I AM AN ARTIST AND WRITER AND YOUTUBE PARTNER, YOU SEE, I NEED TO EXPLAIN, THAT I SHOULD STAY

WITH CATHOLIC CARE AND MENTAL HEALTH, BECAUSE, I AM READY FOR THAT, AND I AM READY TO CHALLENGE MYSELF

AT THINGS, I WILL FIND FUN IN THIS BODY, BUT FOR THE REAL PROFESSIONAL ACTING, I WILL HAVE TO WAIT FOR MY

NEXT LIFE AFTER I DIE, I JUST WANTED THE WORLD TO KNOW ME, AND I AM DOING THAT THROUGH YOUTUBE, AND

HOW MUCH PEOPLE DISAGREE WITH ME, I PERSONALLY THINK THAT WHEN I DO SHOWS, WHERE I AM READING MY SCRIPT

FROM THE COMPUTER, OR FROM A BOOK, I LOOK GREAT, AND MAYBE I CAN DO VOICE OVER, AN ACTOR DOES THE PERSON,

I PLAY HIS VOICE, AND I CAN HAVE FUN DOING THAT, I LIKE WATCHING THE SHAYTARDS AND I GOT THE INSPIRATION FROM THEM

TO DO A TAPESTRY ON THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS WINNING THE SUPERBOWL, NO I AM NOT SHY, BUT WAS WHEN I WAS YOUNG

AND I PREFER TO STAY IN MY COMFORT ZONE, AND I AM DOING IGNITE, THIS YEAR, AND OTHER EVENTS LIKE POETRY SLAMS AND

POETRY NIGHTS, AND HOPEFULLY, I GET GET A FEW OF MY LATEST TAPESTRIES, TO GO ON SHOW AT THE BCC GALLERY ON MENTAL HEALTH

WEEK, NO I HAVE CONFIDENCE THAT I CAN MAKE SOME MONEY ON MY STORIES MAKING IT BIG, I JUST HAVE TO GET STARTED, MY PROBLEM IS

I NEED TO STOP TRYING TO BE A KID, I AM 45, I CAN DO ANYTHING I PUT MU MIND TOO,

SEE MY LATEST YOUTUBE VIDEOS ON AAA YOUTUBE TV

I AM MOVING THE RAIDERS SHOW TO AAA YOUTUBE TV, AQND I WILL KEEP AARON CLAYTON, CAUSE THAT IS HOW I GOT STARTED

I PROBABLY ******* A FEW CONSERVATIVE ADULTS IN MY OLDS PLAY, BUT I WAS DELLUSIONAL AND SCARED OF THE LIMELIGHT

BUT I FEEL, THAT SCRIPT IN HAND IS FINE, IT WAS FUN LAST YEAR WITHOUT THE SCRIPT, BUT I HAVE A LOT OF STORIES AND ART

ONLINE, I NEED TO BE UNDERSTOOD, I NEED TO BE LIKED, I HAVE CHANGED MY FORMAT FOR BREAKFAST SHOW WITH MARCO AND SUSIE

READING NEWS TELLING JOKES OFF THE INTERNET, I AM TRYING TO BE FAMOUS, AND ON SOME YOUTUBE SHOWS, I AM FAMOUS

THE BRATAYLEYS ARE ANOTHER YOUTUBE SHOW I WATCH AS WELL, THEY ARE FUNNY, RELITIVELY LIKE ME

I AM A FAMOUS FAMILY PERSON, WHO WANTS TO PARTY, AND WHEN I DO MY PLAYS, I HAVE PIZZA FOR DINNER,


WOW, I AM A REAL CELEBRITY ALREADY
hi dudes



i think my creativity is the key for me looking and staying young, i know what i am about to say sounds

negative, but i believe that i will never ever work at common ground, only because of what happened in

1990 with the kid and 2004 with the cat, you see i am still scared of going to the psych ward, after what

happened in 2013, , you see every time i get myself together, in the work front, something bad happens

even, being famous, i have got a lot of youtube views, and i want to make future posts, but i my mind of helping

people or being famous is very delusional, i want to be given a go, on TV, but it’s mighty hard for the little people

such as me, i realise i might have ****** people off, in some emails, but, it’s because, i want more out of life rather

than being a mentally ill ****** to be stuck in the psych ward, i hate the psych ward, i am watching prisoner to learn

how to keep myself out of the psych ward, i hear too many voices for the work at common ground and i really want

to work through my voices in ART and WRITING, i know i have designed a few buildings and sports grounds

you see i hear voices from patrick, because i am feeling my little young dude/hooligan coming back to me to

show me how bad i felt being treated like a little young dude, the main reason why i fought dad, because i drew

a triangular shape with a stick stabbing through the centre, dad hated it, i wrote on my arm kidnap 11 year old boys

and my carer was very upset, i do want to help the poor, but my past looks like will be against it, and i want to

fight my way to the top, not literally, but i feel i am fighting my way to the top with art and writing, you can’t do everything

and really i am feeling my shy man/hooligan trying to turn me into a weird man, and i don’t wanna look weird

i want to be fit, and healthy, and i want rupert murdoch and tony abbott to give their fortunes to help the poor people out

because if my situation was different, i would be a philanthropist, but i am not rich, but i still give, i want to have constant reminders

in my next life, to make sure poor people are well looked after, like, i see my world coming to life with common ground,

i look like i inspired it, because so many people are willing to help it, i want to still be a youtube entertainer, but i might be

a bit delusional there as well, expecting ellen will ring me up, or home and away will let me whack alf stewart with the belt

because he was an army guy, but i was sick back then, i appreciate the help mental health have given me, ya know chances

to be famous, i just worry  about being kidnapped by people i want to help because that is helping, by placing yourself in harms way

i would like to work on my art, and if anything, i would like a few pictures i have to brighten up the people’s day at common ground and

i am unsure of how to do that, my mind isn’t really into doing courses for jobs, i know i need to do a food hygiene course, i won’t get a job

at common ground unless you can give my entertaining delusion a go, but still that might still require a work with venerable person check

and really i want the voices to stop but while i still have voices saying, that i am still a little young baby young dude ringing around in my head,

it might be hard to work with venerable people, because the voices are driving me nuts, I WANT THEM TO STOP, and i can’t work at common ground

with voices like these, i can ignore the voices reading a poem on 2xx, because the voices will fade as i read, and the only job i could do in the famous world

is probably be one of the writers because my brain is too intense, and it can make me insane, insane in the membraiin insane in the brain

i feel like yelling like a schizophrenic, and just imagine me working with venerable people with these voices, i hear

everyone wanting to go to bed, but because they don’t want to muck with me in going to bed groups they sit up saying your like mrs allan, brian

and as i went to bed, the image of my old school chum pat is sitting up all night, and the image is plastered in my head and despite how much fun

i have staying up all night, it doesn’t work for me doing my art, so i am prepared to battle these demons and go to bed at 12.00, but i am not like

canary though, going to bed before midnight, where i can turn into a pumpkin, some woman doesn’t want me to film her kids and that is why i

don’t put many videos on youtube, i want to learn how to post legally, but i feel some videos are put on with me under delusions, posting on youtiube

like that, isn’t worth it, if i am always watching my back, but i still want to read my poems on youtube, i am learning more than people who are trained

to help does, but i don’t want to help like that, i find it hard with my voices to wait for videos of performances to load up, and i felt better when i did my

own stuff, the medication is making me shake a bit, and though there is nothing wrong with what i was doing on youtube to me, i am going back to

posting videos of myself reading stories and poems, cause i feel as naughty as a hooligan, and that ain’t brian allan’s style, maybe in my next life

i can be a proper youtube entertainer for awards, and i just sit there doing my tapestry watching sport like a guy over the internet, but i swill never

be too woosey for the computer world, because i feel like a naughty hooligan, and i upset my family a lot without meaning too and i don’t want to

upset my fans, and i know i have fans, i check my views, god your a fool brian, i hear the MEN say, i don’t want to go back to LEAD either, because

they teased me like how you tease a freaking hooligan, i am not a hooligan i am a real family person, and i am 45 years old, i shouldn’t behave like

a kid who needs discipline for the rest of my life, i don’t want mental illness, i like to be a success story
i was watching ovation yesterday evening and i was looking forward to checking out the

new show shift out, thinking it will be a show packed with all the fun on the internet, because

dudes, there is a lot of fun you can have on the internet, there is stuff on for all likes and dislikes

like the shaytards and bratayley and old episodes of prisoner and tim minchin songs as well

as the young ones, and hello poetry which i am johnny georgy brown for the budding poets

and there are a heap of writing websites that i used to all never belonged to, there is art colony

where i am under brian allan and i have opened my mind with the world, i have a lot of youtube

stuff from aaa youtube tv and aaron clayton, and i am upset that the ovation show shift is so ******

conservative, i get it that people are thinking this guy isn’t young, no i am in my 40s but i am still

good on the internet, i want to save the world, i have been put on this earth to save the world,

and it would be great if shift wasn’t so ****** conservative, because you can interview youtube junkies

as well as bring people from youiube to appear on your show to sing, you see everyone on the internet

including me have special talents, everyone on social media including me have special talents, better than

some of these losers you get on australia’s got talent, but some of them a pretty good too, but i am just saying

that i expected shift on ovation to be a new saturday night variety show showing us entertainment on the web

because it was supposed to go on from 7.15 to 10.30, but it was boring because it only lasted from 7.15 to 7.22

if that, mind you if shift was an internet based variety show, it would be really cool, because there is a lot of cool

stuff as i said over the internet, you can even play concerts from your favourite bands on youtube, and one week

could play a concert from youtube or bringing in some youtube entertainers to entertain us, i realise that there is

a lot of copyright being done, but that is because everyone wants to have fans, like me, i watch my stuff on Facebook

and other stuff and realise i have fans, and there is nothing wrong with having fans, and if shift was what i thought

we could bring you tubers close to their fans all over the world, boy would that be ever so radically awesome

what i am saying, the internet is a big place, and shift should explain what entertainment you can find over the web

rather than little things, everyone on the web, is a computer dude to, but they ain’t getting what they want

i want to ban shift because they only show computer geeks and not computer dudes like myself
I told my mom that I wanted to go to New York after I graduate.
But she said no because I have bad anxiety.
Now I know that she just means that she won't support the idea.
Or if I asked, she would say no.
And I understand that she's just worried about me.
But if I don't go due to anxiety.
Then all that does is say that anxiety controls my life.
That it controls how I act.
Basically,  that means that it defines me and who I am.
And even though I have it.
It DOES NOT define me and who I am as a person.
Anxiety is just a PART of me.
And saying that I can't go because I'm anxious isn't right.
That means that my anxiety wins.
That means that it limits what I can and can't do.
There are things about New York that I like and wanna see.
There are people that go there.
And I would like to see them when they go there at times.
Also, there are colleges there.
And I know that they have colleges for acting and/or singing.
And those are two things I love.
And I'm not gonna let my anxiety keep me from going there.
I know that my mom means well.
But once I turn eighteen and graduate high school.
Then it's my decision.
Then I'm the one who determines if I can go or not.
And unless I don't have money.
There won't be anything keeping me from going.
As long as I am calm.
As long as I take deep breaths and know that I'm safe.
Know that it's big.
But it's also a great place where I can learn and have fun.
Which makes me excited.
I know this means that I will need to get a job.
But I will get one.
And did I mention that there are colleges in New York?
I mean, of course there are.
Don't get me wrong, I mean, I've known that all along.
But just never really thought of it.
Not until now when I'm in my Junior year of High School.
One more year and that's it.
One more year and I am out in the real world 365 days.
Every single day of my life.
And I know that I will be a stranger there till I meet people.
But that's nothing new.
The only thing that'll be new is how I handle being alone.
I can hide in the corner.
Or I can face my fears and go there with my head high.
I can say hi to people.
I can smile and nod at others who acknowledge me.
How will I get there?
I'm not sure about how I'll get there at the moment.
Maybe I'll get accepted.
A college might like my application that I send to them.
Or I'll just visit.
Get a job so I can pay for travel and to see a show there.
Or my YouTube Channel.
Yes, I have a YouTube Channel that I use twice a week.
That might help me.
Maybe I can make a career out of my YouTube Channel.
Now, don't argue with me.
I know that it's rare when people make a career off of that.
But I still love it.
I love making videos of myself singing and/or talking.
Not because of my voice.
Because those who know me know I don't like my voice.
I don't know why.
I've just always thought that I wasn't a good singer.
But I think that out of those who know me and teachers.
And then some online.
The only one who truly doesn't like my voice is me.
I'm my own worse critic.
If I see something negative about me I delete it.
Not because it's rude.
Well, that's part of it, but mainly because of me.
My mind will absorb that.
And then I will eventually will start to believe it.
Which is a form of anxiety.
Feeling anxious about how others think of you.
But the truth is.
If people are saying negative things about you.
Either to you or near you.
Or if they are saying something negative online.
Then don't listen.
Because they don't know you or who you are.
They just see the outside.
They don't know how you think or feel.
How could they?
They've never met you or got to know you.
All they know is online.
What they see in a three to ten minute video.
So don't listen.
Don't let what they say that's bad hurt you.
But if you do listen.
Then let it fuel you to be better than before.
Show them who you are.
Don't pay attention when they call you names.
Because they're wrong.
It doesn't matter who you are, they're wrong.
Pay attention to some.
The people who are praising you online.
Who like your voice.
Who like your style and are interested in you.
They want more.
They wanna see you twice a week, they like you.
Your videos mean a lot.
They mean a lot to those people who subscribe.
And they subscribe to you.
Because they like your videos and wanna see more.
Post what you want.
Sing one day and then talk the other, it's your choice.
It's your channel.
And that's what I have to tell myself when I upload.
Whenever I read comments.
And I do read all the comments I get when I get'em.
I don't get a lot.
And I still have a lot to learn when I respond.
I gotta learn to stifle.
Just say thanks and then be done with the person.
I need to do that.
Sometimes I get happy though and forget to.
But I'll get better.
For now, I need to focus on what I wanna do.
Which is make videos.
Wait a minute, what am I talking about now?
Sorry, got off topic.
This is about anxiety, not my YouTube Channel.
Okay, back to anxiety.
As I was saying, I will do what I can to manage it.
I will go there.
I will go to New York one way or another.
Not because I have to.
But because I want to for more reasons than one.
Even if my anxiety is bad.
Which I can admit that it is at times every day.
But I'll get through it.
Anxiety is not going to control me and define me.
I'm going to New York.
The only one who can control that destiny is myself.
And I will get there.
I don't know how or when, but I will.
Let this be a message.
A message for anyone who has to deal with anxiety.
It's not your life.
Anxiety doesn't control you if you don't let it.
Anxiety is a part of you.
But that's all it is, it's just a part of you that sticks.
But it gets better.
And if it can get better for me, than it will for you.
Wow! That took an unexpected turn. I was trying to say that I wanna go to New York. Well, I hope that this message makes since and that this whole thing was something that you enjoyed reading. Thanks for reading, bye!
Nymeriari Jan 2019
malamig sa isang silid
may kasamang pighati, saya at lungkot
sa bawat paghinga,
ramdam ang pagbagsak ng luha.

magkakahiwalay na tayo
sakit na tila kinukurot ang puso
sakit na walang ibang lunas,
kundi ang pagsasamahan nating nabuo.

sinulat ko ang tulang ito
para kahit ako'y lilisan na
maaari ko pang balikan lahat.
lahat ng alaala at samahan,

mga alaala na hindi ko makakalimutan,
katulad ng...
habang tayo'y naghihintay ng ticket
habang tayo'y nagbabasa ng email thread
habang tayo'y nakaupo sa isang silid

nagkukwentuhan,
nagtititigan,
nagmamasid,
naglalaro ng moba,
nanonood ng youtube,
nakahawak sa mga selpon.

na tila bigla bigla tayong natinag
sa mga boss na dumadaan
na kahit sa dami natin sa area
nagawa parin tayong turuan
at pag tiyagaan nila sir at ma'am.

napaka-lungkot lang isipin,
na ang ating samahan,
sa kathang-isip na lamang.

alam ko lahat naman tayo nakaramdam na ng lungkot
lungkot na hindi mo alam kung saan nagmula
lungkot na hindi mo alam kung ano ang dahilan
lungkot na hindi mo alam kung ano ang kinahihinatnan

pero ang pinaka-nakakalungkot sa lahat
yung puno ng tao sa isang silid.
puno ng tunog at salita 
puno ng biruan at tawanan
pero ramdam **** maiiyak ka
ramdam **** hindi ka nababagay sa lugar na naroon ka

sa pagkakataong ito, hindi mo alam kung bakit hindi mo kayang makisali at magkunwaring masaya nalang 
kung sa mga nakaraang araw kinaya mo naman
nakakapagod mag-isip.

pero alam naman natin
ito yung pagod na hindi kayang gamutin ng pahinga 
ito yung pagod na hindi kayang idaan sa alak o ng yosi man lang
ito yung pagod na hindi kayang idaan sa maghapong hilata sa kama

ito yung pagod na hindi kayang gamutin o kahit dampi ng matinding menthol ng salonpas sa nangangalay na kasu-kasuan
Ito yung pagod na hindi kayang gamutin ng efficascent oil na suki ng buong pamilya

ito yung pagod na dama ng kaibuturan at kaluluwa
ito yung pagod na mahirap punan ng lunas kasi hindi mo alam kung bakit ang bigat sa pakiramdam

iyong pag napabayaan o mali ang diagnosis mo e pwedeng lumikha ng sanga-sangangang maliit at mas komplikadong dahilan ng kapaguran
kung pwede lang mapawi ang lungkot sa bawat malalim na buntong hininga ang ngalay na dama ng kaluluwa

yung tuwang hatid damay lahat ng parte ng kabuuan
isama mo pa pati yung sangkatutak na split ends mas lalo na ang mga pimples na ayaw kang lubayan
alam ko, napapagod rin kayo
sadyang nakakapagod lang talagang gumising sa umagang walang kulay
sa mundong malawak.

pero nandyan ang ngiti na nakikita mo mula sa ibang tao,
na nakikita ko mula sa inyo.
ngiting kay gaan sa pakiramdam,
na tila nangangawit na ang pisngi dahil sa ayaw humupa ng ngiti.

Salamat sa mga binigay niyong mga ngiti.
Na nakakapawi ng pighati,
Salamat,
Salamat dahil naging parte kayo ng talata ng buhay ko.
#TSG #OJTdays
HI DUDES,


ON AAA YOUTUBE TV   I JUST FINISHEC MY FIRST BRUMBIES NIGHT LIVE SHOW FOR

2015, YOU SEE WHAT I AM DOING, IS TRYING TO BRING MY CHARACTERS

MARCO AND TOPSY THE CLOWN, TO HOST A SATURDAY NIGHJT LIVE FORMAT

YA KNOW, THE AMERICAN SHOW, IT’LL BE BETTER, IF I WAS ON TV

WITH MORE PEOPLE, BUT I READ POEMS I WROTE ABOUT THE MATCH

AND I READ THE BIG NEWS ITEM ABOUT THE MATCH, THE TEAM LISTS

LIKE TO GET YOUTUBE ON THE MAP, THERE IS A 35 MINUTE SHOW TO START

THEN A 2 MINUTE CHANT BEFORE THE MATCH AND TOPSY THE CLOWNS HALF TIME SHOW

AND ALSO THE FINAL BIT, WHERE YOU WILL SEE HOW IT ENDED

GO THE BRUMBIES, A GREAT WIN BY THE BRUMBIES OVER THE REDS 47 TO 3

I AM GOIN G TO THE MULTI CULTURAL FESTIVAL TOMORROW TO GET

A FEW VIDEOS FOR YOUTUBE, I AM THERE FOR THE CANBERRA COMMUNITY

THE BRUMBIES THE MULTI CULTURAL FESTIVAL, THE SKY’S THE LIMIT
brian’s secret friend

good boy brian allan was having fun on youtube in his house, despite his family and friends

saying it’s wrong, you see brian allan wan people, like give people homes, as opposed to

walking around on the street, and his mum, was worried that brian was going down the wrong path

but brian kept on playing these songs as loud and then a 12 year old girl, who was a bit messed up

ran away from her mummy and daddy, and turned up on my bed, and before we knew it,brian and this girl

were playing on youtube, ya know dancing and dancing, but the little girl, was too old for brian and kept

on arguing with him, because she didn’t mean to run away, she was worried, also,  brian thought it was

the right thing to play with this kid, instead of alerting authorities, which is the right thing, but brian was really

wanting a kid of his own to play with, and despite mum and dad yelling at brian, probably sneaking a look

of what we’re doing on youtube, and this kid, well it looked like she was teasing brian, ya know by saying

me and you are so similar brian, and then the girl said, let’s have fun putting on these youtube videos

and we also ran down the street teasing each other, ya know having a wow of a time, and then brian’s mum

and dad and brother who were sitting up talking to each other, started to worry when their family member

valerie straight watched a youtube video, and said who is the  girl brian is playing with and then valerie rang up

brian’ mum and brian was so determined that what he was doing is the right thing, but his mother disagreed with this

and his mum and dad and brother all went to brian’s house to tell brian he was doing the wrong thing, and

they saw brian and the girl, to them, walking around having a ball, but the girl gave brian the not cool stare

and brian got a lot of that when he was young, and this didn’t stop brian from dealing with the lost 12 year old his way, thinking

a lot of people use youtube, to track down where lost children are, but brian got himself when his mum and dads neighbour said

you are still trouble, brian and brian was determined to show him, he is responsible, but brian totally lost this man’s trust

when he ran his car over into a fense making a man who the family once liked, get totally weird and attempted to zoo brian

for all the pennies he has, and brian’s mum, dad and brother were sitting in brian’s apartment, listening to brian’s stupid lip

which was totally full of worry and brian told his family to *******, because he is happy to see signs of his youth, a kid saying

what’s that your like us, but now brian’s mum, dad and brother knew about it, it was only a matter of time before the mother

was contacted, and her mother arrived and it was brian’s old school chum paula, and paula looked calm thinking to brian

don’t try the free daycare service, and i showed her a picture of my brother, who she had a crush on when we were young

and paula thanked me for looking after her 12 year daughter, but she wasn’t impressed one little bit with her daughter for running

away, nor was she impressed with me for keeping her with me, brian was scared, he says to all the ***** out there who thinks

brian was a phedaphile or a child molestor, but still brian had to move on and hopefully this man will find a way not to soo brian

from all the things that he did, and now had to face the music, in the next 2 days, being yelled at by family and this man

who did soo brian, which left brian penniless and i tell you one thing, this was just a dream i had, i know, if a girl turned up

at my house, i would do the right thing and alert authorities, but this is just a dream
Carter Ginter Feb 2019
When did things change so much?
When did I get so encapsulated
Into the world of technology?
When did I stop listening
To myself and my own thoughts
And instead add another view
To some article or YouTube video
Just to reach some spoon-fed "opinion"?

When did we stop engaging
In life and with ourselves?
When did playing video games turn to
Watching other people play them online
Numbing our brains to the world
And "filling" our social needs digitally?
When did watching television turn into
Binge-watching an entire series in one sitting?

With this much constant stimulation
It's no wonder we're bored so easily
And that no one goes outside anymore
And that I don't feel alive anymore
Because one of the first things I do
When I get home from work or the gym
Is turn on the smart tv so it can warm up
Because the apps on it take time to load
And I already know that my free time
Will be spent in front of that screen

Lately I've been nervous about
Eventually moving in with new people
Primarily because I spend a lot of my time
Passively using the television
I was concerned with how we'd balance our usage
Instead of considering changing the way I spend my time

When did I start placing my use of technology
Above my own self-care?
When I spend hours watching YouTube
But still forget to take a shower sometimes
And I truly wonder if my recent urges
To leave the state to work on a farm for a month
Are more indicative of some deep desire
To unplug and reset my energy and priorities
Than my interest in agriculture or
Learning to live off of the land

When did I start to feel the need
To take such drastic measures
To change something so simple
Something I could choose to disengage with
At the simple touch of a button?
hi dudes

do you want to get in the christmas spirit

do you want to hear christmas jokes and listen the christmas carols

do you want to be entertained by a pink haired cool clown

do you want to get your candles out and sing along with the clown

because if you do, watch the topsy the clown christmas corner on AAA youtube TV

It’s a time to celebrate with youtubes newest family friend

and it’s time to say merry christmas with so many carols and jokes carols and jokes

it’s 25 minutes of great christmas fun

please watch it, after 7.00pm every weeknight on aaa youtube TV

topsy the clowns christmas corner

i put it on brian allan’s Facebook page as well

after 7 est all week watch it, dudes on

AAA youtube TV
Fah Aug 2013
(via phatphilosophers)

(via phatphilosophers)

(via phatphilosophers)
jeffrey-lebowski:

Untitled by Yayoi Kusama.
Acrylic on canvas, 45.5 x 38.0 cm. Signed and dated 1993
jeffrey-lebowski:
Untitled by Yayoi Kusama.
Acrylic on canvas, 45.5 x 38.0 cm. Signed and dated 1993
(via phatphilosophers)

These are the days that must happen to you.
Walt Whitman, from Leaves Of Grass (via violentwavesofemotion)
(via phatphilosophers)
18 HOURS AGO / LARMOYANTE
axiatonal:

Canola Flowers Field, China
axiatonal:
Canola Flowers Field, China
(via awaveofbliss)

(via awaveofbliss)

whatisadvertising:
What would modern technology and social networks look like if they were vintage ads
This is a post gathered Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, Skype, iMac, Nintendo Wii and Sony Playstation as if they were vintage ads.
(via thebronxisburning)
aplacetofindlife:

Someone Should Start Laughing
I have a thousand brilliant lies For the question: How are you?  I have a thousand brilliant lies For the question: What is God? If you think that the Truth can be known From words, If you think that the Sun and the Ocean Can pass through that tiny opening Called the mouth,
O someone should start laughing! Someone should start wildly Laughing Now!- Hafiz
aplacetofindlife:
Someone Should Start Laughing

I have a thousand brilliant lies
For the question:
How are you?

I have a thousand brilliant lies
For the question:
What is God?

If you think that the Truth can be known
From words,

If you think that the Sun and the Ocean
Can pass through that tiny opening Called the mouth,

O someone should start laughing!
Someone should start wildly Laughing Now!

- Hafiz
(via cosmic-rebirth)

meditationsinwonderland:
Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche, We Should All Be Feminists
How could I not reblog this?
(Source: bakongo)
1 day ago – 234,004 notes

artismyempire:
gentledom:
A wonderful analogy.
What I shall do today.
(Source: boyqueen, via thebronxisburning)
1 day ago – 30,054 notes

(Source: maryhadalittleblunt, via awaveofbliss)
1 week ago – 81 notes
beachsloth:

SYNESTHESIA by Joshua Espinoza
                God watches everyone’s first kiss. Although God used to be an awesome God He’s been a bit lazier as the years have progressed. Long ago God felt that raining frogs on Egypt was cool. People were turned into pillars of salt for looking at the destruction of their towns. Now God isn’t into that whole vengeful thing. Rather He realizes the importance of free will and understands it is more important than any instruction manual.
                Dreams are the ultimate instructional manual. Sub-conscious hates being a sub. Sub-conscious wants to be dom-conscious. Unfortunately such things do not happen anymore. Drinking dreams from people is potentially delicious. Flab is the hallmark of a family man or woman. Their dreams have become realities. Mere impulses of creatures become vaguely self-sustaining then fully self-sustaining. Right in the heart is where the familial love lives. Floaters in the eyes are more than floaters. When one sees floaters they see ghosts. Floaters are ghosts for the vision-impaired.
                Afterlife is big into God. Death brings people closer to God. They live in God’s domain hoping for the best. From on high the angels live on the down low. Beneath angels are the exciting ones, the ones they can and do mess up. Humans are interesting for their ability to mess up all the time and somehow remain completely loved. Every human is made in God’s image. Once people come back to God they realize how much of their decisions were good, how the evil was more than counterbalanced by the good. Living in Earth tends to make people forget how fortunate they really are.
                The world hates leaving people behind. In Heaven everything is fine. From Heaven people can see themselves from light-years away. Such distance makes it easier to see what the right and wrong decision was. Death takes the people away. Online presences remain long after the body has left. Everything has a digital footprint entirely different from their real life footprint. Sometimes it is bigger and sometimes smaller. It depends on the lust for life.
                Kissing is a form of lust. Lips love each other. Lips like locking together. That is where the key to the heart comes from, from the lips. Words flow from the mouths of babes. Life means the words work well but the tones work better. Even babies understand the importance of tone. Words are meaningless. Tones are tender. People wrap themselves up in tones, in the environmental sounds that surround them for that is what it means to be alive: it means to interact.
beachsloth:
SYNESTHESIA by Joshua Espinoza
                God watches everyone’s first kiss. Although God used to be an awesome God He’s been a bit lazier as the years have progressed. Long ago God felt that raining frogs on Egypt was cool. People were turned into pillars of salt for looking at the destruction of their towns. Now God isn’t into that whole vengeful thing. Rather He realizes the importance of free will and understands it is more important than any instruction manual.
                Dreams are the ultimate instructional manual. Sub-conscious hates being a sub. Sub-conscious wants to be dom-conscious. Unfortunately such things do not happen anymore. Drinking dreams from people is potentially delicious. Flab is the hallmark of a family man or woman. Their dreams have become realities. Mere impulses of creatures become vaguely self-sustaining then fully self-sustaining. Right in the heart is where the familial love lives. Floaters in the eyes are more than floaters. When one sees floaters they see ghosts. Floaters are ghosts for the vision-impaired.
                Afterlife is big into God. Death brings people closer to God. They live in God’s domain hoping for the best. From on high the angels live on the down low. Beneath angels are the exciting ones, the ones they can and do mess up. Humans are interesting for their ability to mess up all the time and somehow remain completely loved. Every human is made in God’s image. Once people come back to God they realize how much of their decisions were good, how the evil was more than counterbalanced by the good. Living in Earth tends to make people forget how fortunate they really are.
                The world hates leaving people behind. In Heaven everything is fine. From Heaven people can see themselves from light-years away. Such distance makes it easier to see what the right and wrong decision was. Death takes the people away. Online presences remain long after the body has left. Everything has a digital footprint entirely different from their real life footprint. Sometimes it is bigger and sometimes smaller. It depends on the lust for life.
                Kissing is a form of lust. Lips love each other. Lips like locking together. That is where the key to the heart comes from, from the lips. Words flow from the mouths of babes. Life means the words work well but the tones work better. Even babies understand the importance of tone. Words are meaningless. Tones are tender. People wrap themselves up in tones, in the environmental sounds that surround them for that is what it means to be alive: it means to interact.
(via bluishtigers)
1 week ago – 74 notes

(Source: samsaranmusing)
1 week ago – 78 notes
maymonsturr:

My mantra.
maymonsturr:
My mantra.
(via cosmic-rebirth)
1 week ago – 568 notes
foxxxynegrodamus:

***
foxxxynegrodamus:
***
(Source: lnpfeed, via awaveofbliss)
1 week ago – 1,635 notes
cosmic-rebirth:

Live joyfully, make your life a dance, all the way to the grave.
cosmic-rebirth:
Live joyfully, make your life a dance, all the way to the grave.
(Source: cookiecarnival)
2 weeks ago – 22,305 notes
“The point is not to pay back kindness but to pass it on.”
– Julia Alvarez (via cosmic-rebirth)
(Source: amandaonwriting, via cosmic-rebirth)
2 weeks ago – 275 notes

(Source: diawf, via awaveofbliss)
2 weeks ago – 2,799 notes
bl4ckhippie:

Fly.
bl4ckhippie:
Fly.
(Source: rootsrukkus, via awaveofbliss)
2 weeks ago – 750 notes

(Source: lizzlizzcomics, via bluishtigers)
2 weeks ago – 110,456 notes
meditationsinwonderland:

ॐ flower child in Wonderland ॐ
meditationsinwonderland:
ॐ flower child in Wonderland ॐ
(Source: vegan-hippie)
2 weeks ago – 139,177 notes

(Source: jrich103, via cosmic-rebirth)
2 weeks ago – 4,848 notes

pleoros:
Helminadia Ranford - Guilin,China
(via hungryforworld)
2 weeks ago – 329 notes
designgather:

Oak Room
Andy Goldsworthy
designgather:
Oak Room
Andy Goldsworthy
(via cosmic-rebirth)
2 weeks ago – 286 notes
miguu:
don’t be afraid.
lean into your genius.
let your own brilliance support you.
you are something
we have all been waiting to know.
please.
(via bluishtigers)
2 weeks ago – 339 notes

odditiesoflife:
Amazing Jabuticaba Tree
This is an incredible tree that bears its fruit directly on the main trunks and branches of the plant, lending a distinctive appearance to the fruiting tree. The jabuticaba (Plinia cauliflora) is a fruit-bearing tree native to Minas Gerais and São Paulo in southeastern Brazil. Otherwise known as the Brazilian Grape Tree, the jabuticaba is grown for its purplish-black, white-pulped fruits. They can be eaten raw or be used to make jellies and drinks, including juice and wine.
They are wonderful trees to have and are fairly adaptable to most environments but they grow extremely slow. Jabuticaba flowers are white and grow directly from its trunk, just like its fruit. The tree may flower and fruit only once or twice a year, but when continuously irrigated, it flowers frequently and fresh fruit can be available year round in tropical regions.
Common in Brazilian markets, jabuticabas are largely eaten fresh; their popularity has been likened to that of grapes in the US. Due to its extremely short shelf-life, fresh jabuticaba fruit is very rare in markets outside of areas of cultivation. So if you are ever in Brazil, be sure to try the incredibly tasty fruit called jabuticaba.
source 1, 2
(via hungryforworld)
2 weeks ago – 1,462 notes

(Source: samsaranmusing)
2 weeks ago – 118 notes

(Source: rorycwhatsyourthesis, via samsaranmusing)
2 weeks ago – 130,113 notes
oecologia:

Star Trails over Matterhorn (Switzerland) by Felix Lamouroux.
oecologia:
Star Trails over Matterhorn (Switzerland) by Felix Lamouroux.
(via samsaranmusing)

burningveins:
multicolors:
benskid:
Know where you stand.
Wow
This is kinda creepy..
(via hungryforworld)

Do not think you will necessarily be aware of your own enlightenment.
Zen Master Dogen - (1200- 1253) AD (via samsaranmusing)
2 WEEKS AGO
101fuymemes:

COLLECTION OF awesome CLOUDS
101fuymemes:
COLLECTION OF awesome CLOUDS
(via roslynoberholtzerbddd)

itscolossal:
Planetary Structural Layer Cakes Designed by Cakecrumbs

Do not resist events that move you out of your comfort zone, especially when your comfort zone was not all that comfortable.
Alan Cohen (via raeraenjma)
(via awaveofbliss)
4 WEEKS AGO / THE-HEALING-NEST
so apt
so apt
(via awaveofbliss)

(via awaveofbliss)
treewellie:

"The area between Kluane Lake and Haines Junction, Yukon, skirting the great cordillera of the Wrangell / St. Elias Mtn. range, is commonly productive of these stacked lenticular clouds … In late summer, as the sun begins to set around 11 PM, it’s beautiful to see these unique clouds, which are higher in altitude than their surrounding companions, catching the last peach coloured rays of the sun."
treewellie:
"The area between Kluane Lake and Haines Junction, Yukon, skirting the great cordillera of the Wrangell / St. Elias Mtn. range, is commonly productive of these stacked lenticular clouds … In late summer, as the sun begins to set around 11 PM, it’s beautiful to see these unique clouds, which are higher in altitude than their surrounding companions, catching the last peach coloured rays of the sun."
definitelydope:

BBQ on the balcony (by fernlicht)
definitelydope:
BBQ on the balcony (by fernlicht)
(via awaveofbliss)

Birth by Alex Grey
Birth by Alex Grey
(via receptive)

(via bluishtigers)

(via awaveofbliss)

There is a time and place for decaf coffee. Never and in the trash.
(via 17yr)
(via hungryforworld)
1 MONTH AGO / MIDWESTRAISEDMIDWESTLIVING
surreelust:

Man with His Skin by Peter Zokosky
surreelust:
Man with His Skin by Peter Zokosky
(via cosmic-rebirth)

Oh soul,
you worry too much.
You have seen your own strength.
You have seen your own beauty.
You have seen your golden wings.
Of anything less,
why do you worry?
You are in truth
the soul, of the soul,
of the soul.
Rumi, from Who Am I?   (via bluishtigers)
(via bluishtigers)
1 MONTH AGO / VIOLENTWAVESOFEMOTION
xpudding:

xpudding:
(via cosmic-rebirth)

(via thebronxisburning)

(via cosmic-rebirth)
treewellie:

La costa de la luz by Francisco Mingorance
treewellie:
La costa de la luz by Francisco Mingorance

itscolossal:
Mirror City: A Kaleidoscopic Timelapse of Chicago, San Francisco, San Diego, Vegas and L.A. [VIDEO]

(via cosmic-rebirth)

awkwardsituationist:
gmb akash documents the 350 kilometre journey from dhaka to sylhet, bangladesh made by those who, unable to afford the price of a ticket or find room to ride inside, risk death by traveling atop and between train cars
(via suntochukwu)
purpleaggregates:

White Tara The female enlightened being of long life, wisdom and good fortune When I see the signs of untimely death, May I immediately receive the blessings of Arya Tara; And, having destroyed the Lord of Death, May I quickly attain the deathless vajra body. OM TARE TUTTARE TURE MAMA AYUR PUNAYE GYANA PUTRIM KURU YE SÖHA OM TARE TUTTARE TURE SÖHA
purpleaggregates:
White Tara
The female enlightened being of long life, wisdom and good fortune

When I see the signs of untimely death,
May I immediately receive the blessings of Arya Tara;
And, having destroyed the Lord of Death,
May I quickly attain the deathless vajra body.

OM TARE TUTTARE TURE MAMA AYUR PUNAYE GYANA PUTRIM KURU YE SÖHA
OM TARE TUTTARE TURE SÖHA
(via dancingdakini)

(via guerrillatech)
hungryforworld:

Monet’s Garden. Givery, France.
hungryforworld:
Monet’s Garden. Givery, France.

(via awaveofbliss)

(via cosmic-rebirth)

Internal and external are ultimately one. When you no longer perceive the world as hostile, there is no more fear, and when there is no more fear, you think, speak and act differently. Love and compassion arise, and they affect the world.
Eckhart Tolle (via samsaranmusing)
(via suntochukwu)
1 MONTH AGO / SAMSARANMUSING
malformalady:

The golden spiral of fungus. In geometry, a golden spiral is a logarithmic spiral whose growth factor is φ, the golden ratio. That is, a golden spiral gets wider (or further from its origin) by a factor of φ for every quarter turn it makes.
Photo credit: Devin Raber
malformalady:
The golden spiral of fungus. In geometry, a golden spiral is a logarithmic spiral whose growth factor is φ, the golden ratio. That is, a golden spiral gets wider (or further from its origin) by a factor of φ for every quarter turn it makes.
Photo credit: Devin Raber
(via deeperthansoul)
polaroidsf:

Welcome to Eden
polaroidsf:
Welcome to Eden

(via bouddra)

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of
meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for
your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me
louis rams Sep 2014
just follow the link to youtube and like and leave your comment.
copy and paste this link
http://youtu.be/M3MQHSirkT4
PARTY ON SAYS ME ON YOUTUBE




you see as we party all day long

in every club that you see

like the private bin and the hungry horse

just blind beggars and firehouse just for me

you see, we lift up our glasses and

toast to the world our successes yeah mate yeah

partying is our middle name

i am pretty much well-controlled, dudes

yeah, we danced to jimmy barnes, oh he is so cool

and i dance to metallica as well

i got out my head banging air guitar to twisted sister’s

we’re not going to take it, anymore, oh cool, man

ya see i am a bit of an old biddy ya see

i am caught up in the fun of the 70s and 80s, oh yeah

i want lift life back so much ya see

to **** the old hag in me

as i sit at the mall with my coke, yeah i party great

i don’t want to be shy, oh no i am a family person, oh yeah mate ****** yeah

i am a regular guy dude, i am a regular guy

i deserve to have a happy party, dude, i don’t wanna be sad

i want to write cause it makes me feel great and opens up my brain

and rid all the problems from within, to ………

PARTY PARTY PARTY PARTY

i don’t want old mates meeting me when i am 79, unless their heart wants to, not their beer bottle or urge for cash

that sounds like i will be drifted backward through life unless he respects my choices

i know i like to party dude, and i can’t change who i am

ya see i am a person, yeah mate yeah, part of the YOUTUBE generation

and i think it’s fine, but we must keep the kids not tying themselves on youtube, risky business dudes

i am looking out for the kids, rather than spoil their ****** fun

someone could do them harm, oh yeah DUDES

just look at me, i am having so much on youtube, and poetry slams and plays and i want to help the HOMELESS

yeah, man i am having a ball

LET’S PARTY DUDES

YOUTUBE FOREVER, FREE TO AIR TV NEVER
Aaron LaLux Sep 2018
Don’t know how it started,
or if it’ll ever end,
some call it Samsara,
others call it trends,

watched a video on YouTube,
Mac Miller in bed with Ariana Grande,
Mac died last week from an OD/suicide,
after Ariana got engaged to another man,

then I Googled this,
“**** photos of Ariana Grande”,
what’s the matter with me why does everything lead,
to having my thing in my hand,

swear to God YouTube is the Devil,
got me to watch screens,
used to have more freedom,
because I didn’t own a TV,

but laptops just made it all too easy,
now I barely go out,
and when I do it’s usually just for food,
then it’s back to my bed or my couch,

laid up like I’m ill,
typing on my MacBook like an addict,
I mean how do you think I wrote this poem,
I wrote it by typing on my MacBook like an addict,

and I don’t know how it started,
or if it’ll ever end,
some call it Samsara,
others call it trends…

∆ LaLux ∆
Caitlin Apr 2013
There's a magical place with a special glow
Where only certain people with skill can go.
It's in front of your eyes but buried deep
and it's best to visit when your eyes crave sleep.
It's name is so special and known to a few
but those who do love it through and through.
It's most commonly known as the YouTube vortex
as it enters your eyes and connects to your cortex
with crazy topics like cannibals and cat
to baffling ideas and llamas with hats.
There's no telling what you'll find each day,
but the YouTube vortex will never become cliche.
Irate Watcher Aug 2014
His dad,
hearing a beat,
turned the key,
not knowing
she was in there.
But shirt off, his
fourteen year
old, the CEO
just laughed and said:
"Dad, go back to bed."

He had won the game
AGAIN!
And nights spent
building a barrel
of monkeys
that
watched him
chop down wood
on YouTube
finally had
paid off —

It only took
20,000 followers
for her shirt to
come off.
The warped world of minecraft playing post-Millenials
I try each day to understand.
you see, i tell people at the mall, that i am cool

they say, no your not cool mate

you see i must be cool

i where a cool black jacket

and i wear socks with sandals

and i perform on youtube

and that, my friend makes me very cool

you i like watching football matches

and cheering on my favourite team

i like watching heavy metal on youtube

and i can sit and watch that all day, because i am cool

i like watching cool broadway shows on youtube

yeah, i must be cool because i go youtube and where wigs

and also funny clothing, people laugh at me,

but i don’t worry because i am cool

i watch cool families on youtube going about having fun

doing vlogs and blogs, and no matter where my life is

i still watch their vlogs and read their blogs, because i am cool

i might be in my 40s, but i am cool and enjoy life

i write my poems on hello poetry cause i am cool

and mate, geeks don’t do poems,

geeks sit down eating their dinner nicely and do everything proper

and i am too cool, to be a geek

you see i am mentally ill, but i can still be cool

because cool is a word to say, that i enjoy life

even when i feel like my heart is rushing

i also like going to NYE events, because i am cool

BE COOL, DUDES
HI DUDES


I AM LEARNING ABOUT COPYRIGHT, THE EASY WAY, I CAN’T HANDLE

WHEN PEOPLE SAY I AM BREAKING THE LAW WHEN I PARTY ON YOUTUBE

TO OTHER PEOPLE’S SONGS, SO, I USED THE 50 th ANNIVERSARY OF

MARCO AND SUSIE, TO CHANGE MY WAYS, YOU SEE, I USED TO BE TREATED

LIKE SOMEONE WHO IS TOO SHY TO BE FAMOUS, OR STUFF LIKE THAT

AND THAT FRUSTRATED ME SO MUCHL, I HATE THOSEV MATES NOW

CAUSE, I THOUGHT, THEY RESPECTED ME WANTING ME TO BE FAMOUS

YA SEE, I HATE HEARING THE VOICES DON’T MUCK WITH BRIAN MEN

BY PEOPLE TREATING ME LIKE A LITTLE YEAH MATE YEAH KID

I AM NOT A KID, I AM AN ADULT, BUT I WISH THESE VOICES

WILL LEAVE MY HEAD, SO I CHANGED MY WAYS, BY USING MY

BREAKFAST CLUB SHOW, TO TELL PEOPLE WHAT IS ON TV

I WANT ALL MY MATES TO GET OUT OF MY HEAD, I HATE THEM

ALL THEY WANT TO DO IN MY HEAD, IS PLAY WITH ME, SO

MY BROTHER CAN ENJOY THE COMPUTER, SO I GOT BACK INTO

READING THE MUSIC CHART, REGULAR THING, AND SHOW TAPESTRIES

TELL A FEW 90s TV TRIVIA, AND TRY AND GRAB INSPIRATION

I AIN’T INTO GUYS SAYING I WAS ****, I AM NOT GAY, YOU FUCKEN ****

I AM A STRAIGHT GUY, WHO IS A COOL GUY

CAN PLEASE SURGICALLY REMOVE, MY NUMSKULL MONGRELL KIDS OUT OF MY HEAD

ONLY CRAZY PEOPLE TREAT ME LIKE A LITTLE YEAH MATE YEAH KID

I KNOW I HAVE TO BE CAREFUL ABOUT PUTTING MUSIC ONB YOUTUBE

I WAS DOING IT IN THE AID OF FUN

I WISH I CAN BE FAMOUS ON TELEVISION

I WISH I CAN GET THESE BOGUS VOICES OUT OF MY HEAD

YA SEE, I AM HEARING VOICES OF MYSELF IN THE EARLY 90s

WHEN I TIED MYSELF UP AND DREAMING THAT IS WHAT YOUNG DUDES DO

I TEASED DAD WITH THE KIDS, BUT I CAN TELL YA, I AM NOT ANYONE’S DADDY

IF I WANT TO STAY UP, I WILL ****** WELL STAY UP

I AM NOT YA FUCKEN DADDY, BUT, I JUST DON’T WANNA BE A HOOLIGAN ANYMORE

AND I HATE, BEING A YEAH MATE YEAH KID OR A KOOMARRI TO MUCK AROUND WITH

I FOUGHT DAD, CAUSE I HEARD A VOICE FROM HIM, SAYING

YOUR TOO SHY TO BE LIKE US, BRIAN, YOU ARE A KOOMARRI, BUT WE STILL LIKE YOU, BRIAN

AND THAT PROMPTED ME TO TEASE DAD, CAUSE, I THEN DIDN’T KNOW

WHAT TO MAKE OF THIS CRAZY PERSON’S VOICE

AND I VISIONED YOUNG DUDES GRABBING EACH OTHER AS IF TYING EACH OTHER UP

IS COOL KID, BEHAVIOUR, I HATE PEOPLE TRYING TO GIVE MY YOUTH BACK TO ME

I WANT MY YOUTH DEAD, CAUSE, I AM WORKING ON BREAKFAST CLUB WITH SUSIE AND MARCO

TO SEE HOW, I CAN PUT A SHOW TOGETHER

I DON’T WANT PATRICK TREATING ME LIKE HIS DADDY, I AM NOT HIS DADDY

IF I CAN’T SLEEP, I WILL STAY UP, IT’S HIS VOICE SAYING, I AM TOO WOOSEY FOR A COMPUTER NERD

BUT I AM NOT TOO WOOSEY FOR COMPUTERS

I AM NOT TOO WOOSEY FOR FAME AND FORTUNE EITHER

I AM A BETTER ARTIST, THAN THESE KIDS, CAUSE, ONLY CRAZY PEOPLE GET INTO PEOPLE’S HEADS

I SIT THERE DOING MY TAPESTRY, AND IF YA WANT TO SEE MY STUFF, UP CLOSE

VISIT BRIAN ALLAN’S FACEBOOK PAGE, WITH THE TAPESTRY AS THE PROFILE

AND READ MY MIND COOLY, SEE THE MANY ARTWORKS, I HAVE PUT ON IT

AND THE MANY YOUTUBE VIDS AND STORIES I POSTED

AND READ A FEW OF MY COMMENTS AS WELL

LEARN MY BUDDHIST

I AM JOHNNY GEORGIE BROWN ON HELLO WRITING, WRITER JOE, ON WRITERS CAFE

AND MY YOUTUBE SITES ARE AARON CLAYTON AND AAA YOUTUBE TV

I ALSO HAVE ART ON ART COLONY, UNDER BRIAN ALLAN

I DON’T LIKE MY OLD SCHOOL MATES ANYMORE, CAUSE I THOUGHT THEY WANTED ME TO BE FAMOUS

OK, I AM IMPROVING, WHAT IS WRONG WITH GETTING REFORMED

I DON’T WANT TO BE A LITTLE YOUNG DUDE OR A LITTLE YEAH MATE YEAH KID FOR LIFE

I REALLY WANT TO BE FAMOUS, IN EVERY STRETCH OF THE IMAGINATION

I DON’T KNOW WHY THESE ***** WANT TO MUCK WITH ME, LIKE THE USED TO MUCK WITH ME, FOR

I WANT TO BE FAMOUS, ON EVERYTHING I DO

I WANT TO FAMOUS FOR THE GOOD OF THE EARTH

TRAIN ME, DUDES
AT LEAST I HAVE VIDEOS, DUDE, AT LEAST I AM GAME TO PUT MY WORK ON YOUTUBE
AND I DID ENTERTAIN IN THIS VIDEO, YOU ARE JUST A CRITIC, WHO WANTS TO BE PERFECT

I AM SORRY IF I SPOILED YOUR PERFECT LITTLE WORLD, AS BASIL FAWLTYY SAYS I AM
SO SORRY I AM NOT PERFECT, OK, A NEGATIVE MESSAGE LIKE THIS, IS WAY BETTER THAN
NOT HAVING ANYTHING
I WATCH THE SHAYTARDS THEY ARE COOL, I WATCH BRATAYLEY THEY ARE COOL
I WATCH BROADWAY SHOWS ON YOUTUBE AND I WATCH OLD EPISODES OF BECKER AND FAWLTY TOWERS

I AM PREPARED TO GIVE YOU THE CHANCE, TO PROVE YOURSELF ON YOUTUBE
I DON'T CRITICISE, I AM A NICE PERSON, AND I CAN ENTERTAIN PEOPLE
I CLICKED ON YOUR BUTTOW, NO VIDEOS, WHY, THE **** ARE YOU JUDGING ME

WHEN YOU HAVE NOTHING, OK
I AM A COSMIC SLEEPER, I LIKE GOING TO SPACE IN MY DREAM

I AM A HIT WHEN I GO TO THE POETRY SLAMS, BRINGING MY CHARACTERS

ALL MY PIECES OF POETRY ARE COOL AND FUN
AND PROVIDES A BIT OF A LAUGH, OK
YOU AREN'T STOPPING ME FROM BEING A FAMOUS PERSON
CAUSE I AM NOT SHY, DUDE,
AT LEAST I HAVE YOU SHOULD UPLOAD VIDEOS TOO, TO SEE IF YOU CAN DO BETTER
AT LEAST I HAVE VIDEOS, DUDE
AT LEAST I HAVE VIDEOS DUDE
AT LEAST I HAVE VIDEOS DUDE

YOU LOOK LIKE A CRITIC
I HATE CRITICS, YA SEE CRITICS ARE THE PROBLEM, NOT ME
I AM A YOUTUBE ENTERTAINER, OK
WATCH AAA YOUTUBE TV AND AARON CLAYTON
READ CATCH A FALLING ******
BETTER THAN YOU MATE
Untitled Jul 2014
Thank you Beauty Gurus for telling me that I can be beautiful inside and out

Thank you to the Gamers who show me that even if you get frustrated you have to keep going on

Thank you to the Vloggers who showed me that even when I'm depressed I can always count on them

Thank you to the Musicians who make beautiful music just to make me or themselves happy

Thank you to all the rest who spend hours just to make us happy
I spend a lot of time on YouTube so it's finally time that I thank them
What does Christmas mean for me as a Buddhist

You see I think carols are so peaceful they could be known as a Buddhist thing
I think that people try to hard to not enjoy going to carols by candlelight each year because they are not a Christian but as o said carols are ever so peaceful
They can be a Buddhist belief
And with putting the Christmas tree up, you might add a little Buddha to put on or under the tree and I can tell you that will look ****** great and Buddhists can chsnge a few Christians way of thinking by saying as they eat a lot of food Such as sugar and roast dinners or prawns which could make you fat and as a Buddhist
I find it is much easier to think about not eating too much food over Christmas
By all means we must enjoy the carols by candlelight and enjoy the present exchange but when it comes to the food, try not to eat too much because there will always be someone giving you forbidden food as a present
And if you eat that you will be fat and I need to have s dip at the carols but really that is no good really because as you sing the carols you eat and your friend who you go with looks at you and you look awful doing 2 things at once
Sometimes I really look forward to the carols so much I watch the carols on YouTube like the cairns carols by candlelight where I can enjoy the carols with the wonders of technology
And I watch Christmas parades on YouTube like from Adelaide and Perth and mt gambier and I watch the Macy's thanksgiving day parade from New York and that is a great parade for the holiday season and I google the Christmas parades or concerts on YouTube so I could enjoy carols and the fun of Christmas all over the YouTube which turns out to be very cool
When I go out I play Christmas music to get me in the holiday mood, yeah, I am a Buddhist but I love life and I love the holiday season and I played santa at Vinnies for 10 years but I believed I was santa back in the time of religion when I was the 323 year old man and people claim life started with Jesus being born but that is a load of crap because if that was true why are there so many people with wonderful minds and amazing thoughts
You see their minds explains how people have been going on for time before dinosaurs where we all go together and said we will believe in anything
You see people might never have experienced something in any part of their life and they become very streetsmart about the whole thing that they are doing, for instance I never got kidnapped in any part of my life and I was obsessed with it
Or I was the Christmas man and I hear voices saying I ain't the Christmas man
Then I hear another voice saying they were the Christmas men I got sick of these voices
But I love Christmas and I love singing carols like on YouTube and on tv or in my city
And I love life in every way
We wish you s merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
From Christian Buddhist hindu Muslim catholic and Jew
Christmas means peace and love singing carols and enjoying the Christmas magic on YouTube
Tommy Randell Apr 2017
I was going to start work on a poem last night
Focusing on a metaphor of migrating swans
Then, well, this film started
About Japanese Warriors and I watched
The first 5 minutes until I picked up
On a quote of Confucius' about
Not giving a sword to a man who can't dance
Which of course I had to look up because
I thought Tarantino had used it somewhere
Maybe in Pulp Fiction but that was a dead end
Then I was onto YouTube watching **** Bill
And the O-Ren Ishii animation sequence
With the insight, totally, why it was an animated sequence
Was because the fake blood budget alone
Would have run to 7 figures …
Looking up to the TV to catch a beheading sequence
Looking down to the Laptop to find Lucy Liu's
Best 10 Bad *** Film Moments!
Which led to the Elementary series and
Sherlock and Doctor Joan facing off with Bamboo Shina
Until despite my joy in the deep coincidences of things
My tired brain was overloaded with martial arts imagery
And to try and get back to the embryo poem idea
I typed migrating swans into google and just got
Lots of V shapes …

… I … paused … to … let … the … message … sink … in ...

At times like this I search for opposites
And thus set out on a random ramble through my shelves
Ashbury – Creeley – Schuyler and the like
For a sideways nudge to an image or a rhythm that inspired
Until my tired brain ran aground and I thought about my bed

My poem hanging and my intention in tatters
Sitting before a glass of Single malt and Tom Lehrer in my ears
I didn't write a single word but heard some lines from a man who wasn't there

          “this is the way it goes
           almost everywhere
           with everybody and everything
           as fiercely in the highlands,
           the black swan burns.”

Thank you Charles Bukowski, and goodnight.
hi dudes and past livers


i can’t go to the carols in the domain because of some stupid reason

because of what i did which is in the past, and i am not planning to be a terrorist

or anything, i am just going to wave my candle and enjoy it, and i have every right to do that

youtube has changed now, and it takes a long time to upload stuff on youtube, so i don’t do it

i really think that people are living in the past with me, and that drives me crazy, i don’t want to be a terrorist

and anyone who calls me a terrorist, please don’t, i haven’t been plotting to **** people, in  fact i am a nice person

i have every right to wave my candle and sing the carols, WHY CAN’T PEOPLE EXCEPT THIS

i am not a hooligan, i am a family person, i go to the carols with family and enjoy, but this country

is a pack of past livers who don’t care about family people like me

you see, what i can’t except, is why can’t you just say stop emailing rather than leading me on

i am not going to the domain concert, it’s better to watch that on TV or youtube anyway

but you have no right to kick me out of the stage “88 carols because you are reading the stories

and judging me, i am not a terrorist, i am a fun loving guy, who loves to wave the candle and sing carols

and i deserve to be treated with respect, for christs sake, it’s a free event, and i am not causing problems for anyone

i will promise not to take videos of kids, i will just listen to the carols, i really think what i write has nothing to do me being bad

i am just writing stuff out of me, i think the conservos in sydney are a bunch of idiots, who just want to judge the poor people like me

i think they are gutless too because they pick on me at my venerable stages of my life, when all i want is enjoy these events and have fun

in my defense, i never knew i was filming a girl till someone pointed it out to me, and i didn’t put that on youtube because she looked like

she was worried, see i have a heart and i have a soul, i believe in buddhism but i love to wave my candle at carol events, other people take videos

so why pick on me, especially when i know that singing carols and waving the candle is all i want to do, just tell me not to take videos or photos

rather than kick me out of an event for what is said online, i was feeling great yesterday as i sang my christmas carols into photo booth instead of

youtube, so i don’t get any copyright infringements, i am a person, and not an animal, ok, i deserve respect, dudes

i prefer to be treated like just another family person going to the carols to enjoy the music, rather than being chucked out for what i say online

yeah, i feel great singing christmas carols at the carols by candlelight, and i enjoy it, i realise my poems might not be christian enough but

that is because nobody is giving me a go to read stories, stephen king writes evil stories, should he get banned from the carols, probably not

but either should i, i am causing no problems at the carols, so give me a break ok
Like a psychotic docent in the wilderness,
I will not speak in perfect Ciceronian cadences.
I draw my voice from a much deeper cistern,
Preferring the jittery synaptic archive,
So sublimely unfiltered, random and profane.
And though I am sequestered now,
Confined within the walls of a gated, golf-coursed,
Over-55 lunatic asylum (for Active Seniors I am told),
I remain oddly puerile,
Remarkably refreshed and unfettered.  
My institutionalization self-imposed,
Purposed for my own serenity, and also the safety of others.
Yet I abide, surprisingly emancipated and frisky.
I may not have found the peace I seek,
But the quiet has mercifully come at last.

The nexus of inner and outer space is context for my story.
I was born either in Brooklyn, New York or Shungopavi, Arizona,
More of intervention divine than census data.
Shungopavi: a designated place for tribal statistical purposes.
Shungopavi: an ovine abbatoir and shaman’s cloister.
The Hopi: my mother’s people, a state of mind and grace,
Deftly landlocked, so cunningly circumscribed,
By both interior and outer Navajo boundaries.
The Navajo: a coyote trickster people; a nation of sheep thieves,
Hornswoggled and landlocked themselves,
Subsumed within three of the so-called Four Corners:
A 3/4ths compromise and covenant,
Pickled in firewater, swaddled in fine print,
A veritable swindle concocted back when the USA
Had Manifest Destiny & mayhem on its mind.

The United States: once a pubescent synthesis of blood and thunder,
A bold caboodle of trooper spit and polish, unwashed brawlers, Scouts and      
Pathfinders, mountain men, numb-nut ne'er-do-wells,
Buffalo Bills & big-balled individualists, infected, insane with greed.
According to the Gospel of His Holiness Saint Zinn,
A People’s’ History of the United States: essentially state-sponsored terrorism,
A LAND RUSH grabocracy, orchestrated, blessed and anointed,
By a succession of Potomac sharks, Great White Fascist Fathers,
Far-Away-on-the Bay, the Bay we call The Chesapeake.
All demented national patriarchs craving lebensraum for God and country.
The USA: a 50-state Leviathan today, a nation jury-rigged,
Out of railroad ties, steel rails and baling wire,
Forged by a litany of lies, rapaciousness and ******,
And jaw-torn chunks of terra firma,
Bites both large and small out of our well-****** Native American ***.

Or culo, as in va’a fare in culo (literally "go do it in the ***")
Which Italian Americans pronounce as fongool.
The language center of my brain,
My sub-cortical Broca’s region,
So fraught with such semantic misfires,
And autonomic linguistic seizures,
Compel acknowledgement of a father’s contribution,
To both the gene pool and the genocide.
Columbus Day:  a conspicuously absent holiday out here in Indian Country.
No festivals or Fifth Avenue parades.
No excuse for ethnic hoopla. No guinea feast. No cannoli. No tarantella.
No excuse to not get drunk and not **** your sister-in-law.
Emphatically a day for prayer and contemplation,
A day of infamy like Pearl Harbor and 9/11,
October 12, 1492: not a discovery; an invasion.

Growing up in Brooklyn, things were always different for me,
Different in some sort of redskin/****/****--
Choose Your Favorite Ethnic Slur-sort of way.
The American Way: dehumanization for fun and profit.
Melting *** anonymity and denial of complicity with evil.
But this is no time to bring up America’s sordid past,
Or, a personal pet peeve: Indian Sovereignty.
For Uncle Sam and his minions, an ever-widening, conveniently flexible concept,
Not a commandment or law,
Not really a treaty or a compact,
Or even a business deal.  Let’s get real:
It was not even much in the way of a guideline.
Just some kind of an advisory, a bulletin or newsletter,
Could it merely have been a free-floating suggestion?
Yes, that’s it exactly: a suggestion.

Over and under halcyon American skies,
Over and around those majestic purple mountain peaks,
Those trapped in poetic amber waves of wheat and oats,
Corn and barley, wheat shredded and puffed,
Corn flaked and milled, Wheat Chex and Wheaties, oats that are little Os;
Kix and Trix, Fiber One, and Kashi-Go-Lean, Lucky Charms and matso *****,
Kreplach and kishka,
Polenta and risotto.
Our cantaloupe and squash patch,
Our fruited prairie plain, our delicate ecological Eden,
In balance and harmony with nature, as Chief Joseph of the Nez Perce instructs:
“These white devils are not going to,
Stop ****** and killing, cheating and eating us,
Until they have the whole ******* enchilada.
I’m talking about ‘from sea to shining sea.’”

“I fight no more forever,” Babaloo.
So I must steer this clunky keelboat of discovery,
Back to the main channel of my sad and starry demented river.
My warpath is personal but not historical.
It is my brain’s own convoluted cognitive process I cannot saavy.
Whatever biochemical or—as I suspect more each day—
Whatever bio-mechanical protocols govern my identity,
My weltanschauung: my world-view, as sprechen by proto-Nazis;
Putz philosophers of the 17th, 18th & 19th century.
The German intelligentsia: what a cavalcade of maniacal *******!
Why is this Jew unsurprised these Zarathustra-fueled Übermenschen . . .
Be it the Kaiser--Caesar in Deutsch--Bismarck, ******, or,
Even that Euro-*****,  Angela Merkel . . . Why am I not surprised these Huns,
Get global grab-*** on the sauerbraten cabeza every few generations?
To be, or not to be the ***** bullgoose loony: GOTT.

Biomechanical protocols govern my identity and are implanted while I sleep.
My brain--my weak and weary CPU--is replenished, my discs defragmented.
A suite of magnetic and optical white rooms, cleansed free of contaminants,
Gun mounts & lifeboat stations manned and ready,
Standing at attention and saluting British snap-style,
Snap-to and heel click, ramrod straight and cheerful: “Ready for duty, Sir.”
My mind is ravenous, lusting for something, anything to process.
Any memory or image, lyric or construct,
Be they short-term dailies or deeply imprinted.
Fixations archived one and all in deep storage time and space.
Memories, some subconscious, most vaporous;
Others--the scary ones—eidetic: frighteningly detailed and extraordinarily vivid.
Precise cognitive transcripts; recollected so richly rife and fresh.
Visual, auditory, tactile, gustatory, and olfactory reloads:
Queued up and increasingly re-experienced.

The bio-data of six decades: it’s all there.
People, countless, places and things cataloged.
Every event, joy and trauma enveloped from within or,
Accessed externally from biomechanical storage devices.
The random access memory of a lifetime,
Read and recollected from cerebral repositories and vaults,
All the while the entire greedy process overseen,
Over-driven by that all-subservient British bat-man,
Rummaging through the data in batches small and large,
Internal and external drives working in seamless syncopation,
Self-referential, at times paradoxical or infinitely looped.
“Cogito ergo sum."
Descartes stripped it down to the basics but there’s more to the story:
Thinking about thinking.
A curse and minefield for the cerebral:  metacognition.

No, it is not the fact that thought exists,
Or even the thoughts themselves.
But the information technology of thought that baffles me,
As adaptive and profound as any evolution posited by Darwin,
Beyond the wetware in my skull, an entirely new operating system.
My mental and cultural landscape are becoming one.
Machines are connecting the two.
It’s what I am and what I am becoming.
Once more for emphasis:
It is the information technology of who I am.
It is the operating system of my mental and cultural landscape.
It is the machinery connecting the two.
This is the central point of this narrative:
Metacognition--your superego’s yenta Cassandra,
Screaming, screaming in your psychic ear, your good ear:

“LISTEN:  The machines are taking over, taking you over.
Your identity and train of thought are repeatedly hijacked,
Switched off the main line onto spurs and tangents,
Only marginally connected or not at all.
(Incoming TEXT from my editor: “Lighten Up, Giuseppi!”)
Reminding me again that most in my audience,
Rarely get past the comic page. All righty then: think Calvin & Hobbes.
John Calvin, a precocious and adventurous six-year old boy,
Subject to flights of 16th Century French theological fancy.
Thomas Hobbes, a sardonic anthropomorphic tiger from 17th Century England,
Mumbling about life being “solitary, poor, nasty, brutish and short.”
Taken together--their antics and shenanigans--their relationship to each other,
Remind us of our dual nature; explore for us broad issues like public education;
The economy, environmentalism & the Global ****** Thermometer;
Not to mention the numerous flaws of opinion polls.



And again my editor TEXTS me, reminds me again: “LIGHTEN UP!”
Consoling me:  “Even Shakespeare had to play to the groundlings.”
The groundlings, AKA: The Rabble.
Yes. Even the ******* Bard, even Willie the Shake,
Had to contend with a decidedly lowbrow copse of carrion.
Oh yes, the groundlings, a carrion herd, a flying flock of carrion seagulls,
Carrion crow, carrion-feeders one and all,
And let’s throw Sheryl Crow into the mix while we’re at it:
“Hit it! This ain't no disco. And it ain't no country club either, this is L.A.”  

                  Send "All I Wanna Do" Ringtone to your Cell              

Once more, I digress.
The Rabble:  an amorphous, gelatinous Jabba the Hutt of commonality.
The Rabble: drunk, debauched & lawless.
Too *****-delicious to stop Bill & Hilary from thinking about tomorrow;
Too Paul McCartney My Love Does it Good to think twice.

The Roman Saturnalia: a weeklong **** fest.
The Saturnalia: originally a pagan kink-fest in honor of the deity Saturn.
Dovetailing nicely with the advent of the Christian era,
With a project started by Il Capo di Tutti Capi,
One of the early popes, co-opting the Roman calendar between 17 and 25 December,
Putting the finishing touches on the Jesus myth.
For Brooklyn Hopi-***-Jew baby boomers like me,
Saturnalia manifested itself as Disco Fever,
Unpleasant years of electrolysis, scrunched ***** in tight polyester
For Roman plebeians, for the great unwashed citizenry of Rome,
Saturnalia was just a great big Italian wedding:
A true family blowout and once-in-a-lifetime ego-trip for Dad,
The father of the bride, Vito Corleone, Don for A Day:
“Some think the world is made for fun and frolic,
And so do I! Funicula, Funiculi!”

America: love it or leave it; my country right or wrong.
Sure, we were citizens of Rome,
But any Joe Josephus spending the night under a Tiber bridge,
Or sleeping off a three day drunk some afternoon,
Up in the Coliseum bleachers, the cheap seats, out beyond the monuments,
The original three monuments in the old stadium,
Standing out in fair territory out in center field,
Those three stone slabs honoring Gehrig, Huggins, and Babe.
Yes, in the house that Ruth built--Home of the Bronx Bombers--***?
Any Joe Josephus knows:  Roman citizenship doesn’t do too much for you,
Except get you paxed, taxed & drafted into the Legion.
For us the Roman lifestyle was HIND-*** humble.
We plebeians drew our grandeur by association with Empire.
Very few Romans and certainly only those of the patrician class lived high,
High on the hog, enjoying a worldly extravaganza, like—whom do we both know?

Okay, let’s say Laurence Olivier as Crassus in Spartacus.
Come on, you saw Spartacus fifteen ******* times.
Remember Crassus?
Crassus: that ***** twisted **** trying to get his freak on with,
Tony Curtis in a sunken marble tub?
We plebes led lives of quiet *****-scratching desperation,
A bunch of would-be legionnaires, diseased half the time,
Paid in salt tablets or baccala, salted codfish soaked yellow in olive oil.
Stiffs we used to call them on New Year’s Eve in Brooklyn.
Let’s face it: we were hyenas eating someone else’s ****,
Stage-door jackals, Juvenal-come-late-lies, a mob of moronic mook boneheads
Bought off with bread & circuses and Reality TV.
Each night, dished up a wide variety of lowbrow Elizabethan-era entertainments.  
We contemplate an evening on the town, downtown—
(cue Petula Clark/Send "Downtown" Ringtone to your Cell)

On any given London night, to wit:  mummers, jugglers, bear & bull baiters.
How about dog & **** fighters, quoits & skittles, alehouses & brothels?
In short, somewhere, anywhere else,
Anywhere other than down along the Thames,
At Bankside in Southwark, down in the Globe Theater mosh pit,
Slugging it out with the groundlings whose only interest,
In the performance is the choreography of swordplay and stale ****** puns.
Meanwhile, Hugh Fennyman--probably a fellow Jew,
An English Renaissance Bugsy Siegel or Mickey Cohen—
Meanwhile Fennyman, the local mob boss is getting his ya-yas,
Roasting the feet of my text-messaging editor, Philip Henslowe.
Poor and pathetic Henslowe, works on commission, always scrounging,
But a true patron of my craft, a gentleman of infinite jest and patience,
Spiritual subsistence, and every now and then a good meal at some,
Sawdust joint with oyster shells, and a Prufrockian silk purse of T.S. Eliot gold.

Poor, pathetic Henslowe, trussed up by Fennyman,
His editorial feet in what looks like a Japanese hibachi.
Henslowe’s feet to the fire--feet to the fire—get it?
A catchy phrase whose derivation conjures up,
A grotesque yet vivid image of torture,
An exquisite insight into how such phrases ingress the idiom,
Not to mention a scene once witnessed at a secret Romanian CIA prison,
I’d been ordered to Bucharest not long after 9/11,
Handling the rendition and torture of Habib Ghazzawy,

An entirely innocent falafel maker from Steinway Street, Astoria, Queens.
Shock the Monkey: it’s what we do. GOTO:
Peter Gabriel - Shock the Monkey/
(HQ music video) - YouTube//
www.youtube.com/
Poor, pathetic, ******-on Henslowe.


Fennyman :  (his avarice is whet by something Philly screams out about a new script)  "A play takes time. Find actors; Rehearsals. Let's say open in three weeks. That's--what--five hundred groundlings at tuppence each, in addition four hundred groundlings tuppence each, in addition four hundred backsides at three pence--a penny extra for a cushion, call it two hundred cushions, say two performances for safety how much is that Mr. Frees?"
Jacobean Tweet, John (1580-1684) Webster:  “I saw him kissing her bubbies.”

It’s Geoffrey Rush, channeling Henslowe again,
My editor, a singed smoking madman now,
Feet in an ice bucket, instructing me once more:
“Lighten things up, you know . . .
Comedy, love and a bit with a dog.”
I digress again and return to Hopi Land, back to my shaman-monastic abattoir,
That Zen Center in downtown Shungopavi.
At the Tribal Enrolment Office I make my case for a Certificate of Indian Blood,
Called a CIB by the Natives and the U.S. Bureau of Indian Affairs.
The BIA:  representing gold & uranium miners, cattle and sheep ranchers,
Sodbusters & homesteaders; railroaders and dam builders since 1824.
Just in time for Andrew Jackson, another false friend of Native America,
Just before Old Hickory, one of many Democratic Party hypocrites and scoundrels,
Gives the FONGOOL, up the CULO go ahead.
Hey Andy, I’ve got your Jacksonian democracy: Hanging!
The Bureau of Indian Affairs (BIA) mission is to:   "… enhance the quality of life, to promote economic opportunity, and to carry out the responsibility to protect and improve the trust assets of American Indians, Indian tribes, and Alaska Natives. What’s that in the fine print?  Uncle Sammy holds “the trust assets of American Indians.”

Here’s a ******* tip, Geronimo: if he trusted you,
It would ALL belong to you.
To you and The People.
But it’s all fork-tongued white *******.
If true, Indian sovereignty would cease to be a sick one-liner,
Cease to be a blunt force punch line, more of,
King Leopold’s 19th Century stand-up comedy schtick,
Leo Presents: The **** of the Congo.
La Belgique mission civilisatrice—
That’s what French speakers called Uncle Leo’s imperial public policy,
Bringing the gift of civilization to central Africa.
Like Manifest Destiny in America, it had a nice colonial ring to it.
“Our manifest destiny [is] to overspread the continent,
Allotted by Providence for the free development,
Of our yearly multiplying millions.”  John L. O'Sullivan, 1845

Our civilizing mission or manifest destiny:
Either/or, a catchy turn of phrase;
Not unlike another ironic euphemism and semantic subterfuge:
The Pacification of the West; Pacification?
Hardly: decidedly not too peaceful for Cochise & Tonto.
Meanwhile, Madonna is cash rich but disrespected Evita poor,
To wit: A ****** on the Rocks (throwing in a byte or 2 of Da Vinci Code).
Meanwhile, Miss Ciccone denied her golden totem *****.
They snubbed that little guinea ****, didn’t they?
Snubbed her, robbed her rotten.
Evita, her magnum opus, right up there with . . .
Her SNL Wayne’s World skit:
“Get a load of the unit on that guy.”
Or, that infamous MTV Music Video Awards stunt,
That classic ***** Lip-Lock with Britney Spears.

How could I not see that Oscar snubola as prime evidence?
It was just another stunning case of American anti-Italian racial animus.
Anyone familiar with Noam Chomsky would see it,
Must view it in the same context as the Sacco & Vanzetti case,
Or, that arbitrary lynching of 9 Italian-Americans in New Orleans in 1891,
To cite just two instances of anti-Italian judicial reach & mob violence,
Much like what happened to my cousin Dominic,
Gang-***** by the Harlem Globetrotters, in their locker room during halftime,
While he working for Abe Saperstein back in 1952.
Dom was doing advance for Abe, supporting creation of The Washington Generals:
A permanent stable of hoop dream patsies and foils,
Named for the ever freewheeling, glad-handing, backslapping,
Supreme Commander Allied Expeditionary Force (SCAEF), himself,
Namely General Dwight D. Eisenhower, the man they liked,
And called IKE: quite possibly a crypto Jew from Abilene.

Of course, Harry Truman was my first Great White Fascist Father,
Back in 1946, when I first opened my eyes, hung up there,
High above, looking down from the adobe wall.
Surveying the entire circular kiva,
I had the best seat in the house.
Don’t let it be said my Spider Grandmother or Hopi Corn Mother,
Did not want me looking around at things,
Discovering what made me special.
Didn’t divine intervention play a significant part of my creation?
Knowing Mamma Mia and Nonna were Deities,
Gave me an edge later on the streets of Brooklyn.
The Cradleboard: was there ever a more divinely inspired gift to human curiosity? The Cradleboard: a perfect vantage point, an infant’s early grasp,
Of life harmonious, suspended between Mother Earth and Father Sky.
Simply put: the Hopi should be running our ******* public schools.

But it was IKE with whom I first associated,
Associated with the concept 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
I liked IKE. Who didn’t?
What was not to like?
He won the ******* war, didn’t he?
And he wasn’t one of those crazy **** John Birchers,
Way out there, on the far right lunatic Republican fringe,
Was he? (It seems odd and nearly impossible to believe in 2013,
That there was once a time in our Boomer lives,
When the extreme right wing of the Republican Party
Was viewed by the FBI as an actual threat to American democracy.)
Understand: it was at a time when The FBI,
Had little ideological baggage,
But a great appetite for secrets,
The insuppressible Jay Edgar doing his thang.

IKE: of whom we grew so, oh-so Fifties fond.
Good old reliable, Nathan Shaking IKE:
He’d been fixed, hadn’t he? Had had the psychic snip.
Snipped as a West Point cadet & parade ground martinet.
Which made IKE a good man to have in a pinch,
Especially when crucial policy direction was way above his pay grade.
Cousin Dom was Saperstein’s bagman, bribing out the opposition,
Which came mainly from religious and patriotic organizations,
Viewing the bogus white sports franchise as obscene.
The Washington Generals, Saperstein’s new team would have but one opponent,
And one sole mission: to serve as the **** of endless jokes and sight gags for—
Negroes.  To play the chronic fools of--
Negroes.  To be chronically humiliated and insulted by—
Negroes.  To run up and down the boards all night, being outran by—
Negroes.  Not to mention having to wear baggy silk shorts.



Meadowlark Lemon:  “Yeah, Charlie, we ***** that grease-ball Dominic; we shagged his guinea mouth and culo rotten.”  

(interviewed in his Scottsdale, AZ winter residence in 2003 by former ESPN commentator Charlie Steiner, Malverne High School, Class of ’67.)
                                                        
  ­                                                                 ­                 
IKE, briefed on the issue by higher-ups, quickly got behind the idea.
The Harlem Globetrotters were to exist, and continue to exist,
Are sustained financially by Illuminati sponsors,
For one reason and one reason only:
To serve elite interests that the ***** be kept down and subservient,
That the minstrel show be perpetuated,
A policy surviving the elaborate window dressing of the civil rights movement, Affirmative action, and our first Uncle Tom president.
Case in point:  Charles Barkley, Dennis Rodman & Metta World Peace Artest.
Cha-cha-cha changing again:  I am Robert Allen Zimmermann,
A whiny, skinny Jew, ****** and rolling in from Minnesota,
Arrested, obviously a vagrant, caught strolling around his tony Jersey enclave,
Having moved on up the list, the A-list, a special invitation-only,
Yom Kippur Passover Seder:  Next Year in Jerusalem, Babaloo!

I take ownership of all my autonomic and conditioned reflexes;
Each personal neural arc and pathway,
All shenanigans & shellackings,
Or blunt force cognitive traumas.
It’s all percolating nicely now, thank you,
In kitchen counter earthen crockery:
Random access memory: a slow-cook crockpot,
Bubbling through my psychic sieve.
My memories seem only remotely familiar,
Distant and vague, at times unreal:
An alien hybrid databank accessed accidently on purpose;
Flaky science sustains and monitors my nervous system.
And leads us to an overwhelming question:
Is it true that John Dillinger’s ******* is in the Smithsonian Museum?
Enquiring minds want to know, Kemosabe!

“Any last words, *******?” TWEETS Adam Smith.
Postmortem cyber-graffiti, an epitaph carved in space;
Last words, so singular and simple,
Across the universal great divide,
Frisbee-d, like a Pleistocene Kubrick bone,
Tossed randomly into space,
Morphing into a gyroscopic space station.
Mr. Smith, a calypso capitalist, and me,
Me, the Poet Laureate of the United States and Adam;
Who, I didn’t know from Adam.
But we tripped the light fantastic,
We boogied the Protestant Work Ethic,
To the tune of that old Scotch-Presbyterian favorite,
Variations of a 5-point Calvinist theme: Total Depravity; Election; Particular Redemption; Irresistible Grace; & Perseverance of the Saints.

Mr. Smith, the author of An Inquiry into the Nature
& Causes of the Wealth of Nations (1776),
One of the best-known, intellectual rationales for:
Free trade, capitalism, and libertarianism,
The latter term a euphemism for Social Darwinism.
Prior to 1764, Calvinists in France were called Huguenots,
A persecuted religious majority . . . is that possible?
A persecuted majority of Edict of Nantes repute.
Adam Smith, likely of French Huguenot Jewish ancestry himself,
Reminds me that it is my principal plus interest giving me my daily gluten.
And don’t think the irony escapes me now,
A realization that it has taken me nearly all my life to see again,
What I once saw so vividly as a child, way back when.
Before I put away childish things, including the following sentiment:
“All I need is the air that I breathe.”

  Send "The Air That I Breathe" Ringtone to your Cell  

The Hippies were right, of course.
The Hollies had it all figured out.
With the answer, as usual, right there in the lyrics.
But you were lucky if you were listening.
There was a time before I embraced,
The other “legendary” economists:
The inexorable Marx,
The savage society of Veblen,
The heresies we know so well of Keynes.
I was a child.
And when I was a child, I spake as a child—
Grazie mille, King James—
I understood as a child; I thought as a child.
But when I became a man I jumped on the bus with the band,
Hopped on the irresistible bandwagon of Adam Smith.

Smith:  “Any last words, *******?”
Okay, you were right: man is rationally self-interested.
Grazie tanto, Scotch Enlightenment,
An intellectual movement driven by,
An alliance of Calvinists and Illuminati,
Freemasons and Johnny Walker Black.
Talk about an irresistible bandwagon:
Smith, the gloomy Malthus, and David Ricardo,
Another Jew boy born in London, England,
Third of 17 children of a Sephardic family of Portuguese origin,
Who had recently relocated from the Dutch Republic.
******* Jews!
Like everything shrewd, sane and practical in this world,
WE also invented the concept:  FOLLOW THE MONEY.

The lyrics: if you were really listening, you’d get it:
Respiration keeps one sufficiently busy,
Just breathing free can be a full-time job,
Especially when--borrowing a phrase from British cricketers—,
One contemplates the sorry state of the wicket.
Now that I am gainfully superannuated,
Pensioned off the employment radar screen.
Oft I go there into the wild ebon yonder,
Wandering the brain cloud at will.
My journey indulges curiosity, creativity and deceit.
I free range the sticky wicket,
I have no particular place to go.
Snagging some random fact or factoid,
A stop & go rural postal route,
Jumping on and off the brain cloud.

Just sampling really,
But every now and then, gorging myself,
At some information super smorgasbord,
At a Good Samaritan Rest Stop,
I ponder my own frazzled neurology,
When I was a child—
Before I learned the grim economic facts of life and Judaism,
Before I learned Hebrew,
Before my laissez-faire Bar Mitzvah lessons,
Under the rabbinical tutelage of Rebbe Kahane--
I knew what every clever child knows about life:
The surfing itself is the destination.
Accessing RAM--random access memory—
On a strictly need to know basis.
RAM:  a pretty good name for consciousness these days.

If I were an Asimov or Sir Arthur (Sri Lankabhimanya) Clarke,
I’d get freaky now, riffing on Terminators, Time Travel and Cyborgs.
But this is truth not science fiction.
Nevertheless, someone had better,
Come up with another name for cyborg.
Some other name for a critter,
Composed of both biological and artificial parts?
Parts-is-parts--be they electronic, mechanical or robotic.
But after a lifetime of science fiction media,
After a steady media diet, rife with dystopian technology nightmares,
Is anyone likely to admit to being a cyborg?
Since I always give credit where credit is due,
I acknowledge that cyborg was a term coined in 1960,
By Manfred Clynes & Nathan S. Kline and,
Used to identify a self-regulating human-machine system in outer space.

Five years later D. S. Halacy's: Cyborg: Evolution of the Superman,
Featured an introduction, which spoke of:  “… a new frontier, that was not,
Merely space, but more profoundly, the relationship between inner space,
And outer space; a bridge, i.e., between mind and matter.”
So, by definition, a cyborg defined is an organism with,
Technology-enhanced abilities: an antenna array,
Replacing what was once sentient and human.
My glands, once in control of metabolism and emotions,
Have been replaced by several servomechanisms.
I am biomechanical and gluttonous.
Soaking up and breathing out the atmosphere,
My Baby Boom experience of six decades,
Homogenized and homespun, feedback looped,
Endlessly networked through predigested mass media,
Culture as demographically targeted content.

This must have something to do with my own metamorphosis.
I think of Gregor Samsa, a Kafkaesque character if there ever was one.
And though we share common traits,
My evolutionary progress surpasses and transcends his.
Samsa--Phylum and Class--was, after all, an insect.
Nonetheless, I remain a changeling.
Have I not seen many stages of growth?
Each a painful metamorphic cycle,
From exquisite first egg,
Through caterpillar’s appetite & squirm.
To phlegmatic bliss and pupa quietude,
I unfold my wings in a rush of Van Gogh palette,
Color, texture, movement and grace, lift off, flapping in flight.
My eyes have witnessed wondrous transformations,
My experience, nouveau riche and distinctly self-referential;
For the most part unspecific & longitudinally pedestrian.

Yes, something has happened to me along the way.
I am no longer certain of my identity as a human being.
Time and technology has altered my basic wiring diagram.
I suspect the sophisticated gadgets and tools,
I’ve been using to shape & make sense of my environment,
Have reared up and turned around on me.
My tools have reshaped my brain & central nervous system.
Remaking me as something simultaneously more and less human.
The electronic toys and tools I once so lovingly embraced,
Have turned unpredictable and rabid,
Their bite penetrating my skin and septic now, a cluster of implanted sensors,
Content: currency made increasingly more valuable as time passes,
Served up by and serving the interests of a pervasively predatory 1%.
And the rest of us: the so-called 99%?
No longer human; simply put by both Howards--Beale & Zinn--

Humanoid.
Matt Jun 2016
Thank you YouTube

Because of your website
I have learned about life

In many different countries

I have traveled the world

From Tibet, Nepal
Pakistan, India,

To Afshanistan, Syria,
Saudi Arabia, and Yemen

To Israel, Palestine,
Jordan, and Egypt

I have learned so much
About humanity

About conflicts
And struggles

I can tell you
Love is the greatest

I dream of being part
Of a community
Of being loved

But we are so isolated
Here in America

Thank you YouTube
I continue to travel the world
Because of your site
Breeze-Mist Sep 2016
What started with benign intentions
Turned into an Orwellian invention
What started as a way to stop a mental trip
Is being used incorrectly for censorship
Yes, YouTube may be a company
But our speech is supposed to be free
And if we wanted certain features disabled
We all would've signed up for cable

So we'll find the information
And we will speak out
Let's join together from every nation
And make the world turn about
YouTube has unveiled new guidlines for youtubers stating what constitutes "advertising friendly material", which essentially says that if a video maker swears a lot in their videos or brings up a sensitive subject like drugs or suicide (even if they are actively trying to stop these things in the video), YouTube will not allow these content creators to earn ad revenue from the videos in question.
This may not seem like a big deal, but many big YouTubers make nearly all of their money from their videos and don't have other jobs since they spend so much time not only making but also editing their videos. Under these new guidlines, if a youtuber swears a lot in their videos or if they bring up controversial subjects, they will not be able to make as revenue off of their videos, essentially taking away their pay. The only way that this can be avoided is if the youtuber in question stops making "contreversial" and "non-advertising friendly" videos.
This is a blatant act of censorship. If YouTube were at all concerned about people being triggered by a video (as they will claim that that is why the new rules are in place), they would ask youtubers to tag their videos with trigger warnings and not deprive them of ad revenue. This system only serves to drive contreversial youtubers, many of whom are very popular, to quit YouTube and look for a more stable income.
This does not violate any laws, as YouTube is a private company and the first amendment applies to the government. This does, however, violate the very principle of free speech.
Many youtubers choose to work through the media that they do because the internet is supposed to allow for freedom of expression in a way that broadcast television does not allow. YouTube also allows content creators to reach a global audience, wheras without it a video might only be available in a small reigon of the world.
There has been a trend recently of people trying to censor the internet, such as with the "right to be forgotten" laws (Which can allow criminals to hide articles about their arrests), copyright claims based on background music that no one can hear, and inconsistent age restrictions.
We need to speak up and let the world, the internet, and especially YouTube know that this is not okay.
Spread the word however you want to, make sure people know what's happening. If we all speak up, then maybe companies like YouTube will hear us.

And if you read all the way to the end of this essay, I would like to say thank you. I know that was extremely long, but I couldn't figure out how to explain it with fewer words. So for you attention and support, I will give you an emoticon rose.
@-;-

— The End —