I actually found someone I prefer more than
The xan
I would rather remember the time I spend on him
I want to feel every touch and breath he gives me
He addicts me more than
This xan
When I’m incoherent and don’t understand the world for a few hours
When I’m so weak
And so useless
So dumb
He keeps the danger away and I’m safe in his arms and
The xan never gave a **** about me
It made me stop thinking
But it also made me stop caring
About everything and everyone
But him
He was stronger than
The xan
He never ruined me
And the xan sure did
I can turn away from it now
But him, I can’t
I used to dance with little white, yellow, and green bars in my butterfly filled stomach
Until I lost my balance and
That xan
Did me so wrong
But he
Only wanted to help and I fell in love with that
In love with him
His
I didn’t want to belong to the xan
I wanted to die by the xan
Except now, he made me love this life
Made me realize that I can
Without the xan
My boyfriend tastes better
Makes me feel better
Takes care of me better
Than
Any kind of xan I
Could ever find

[Verse 1: Drake]
Versace, Versace, Medusa head on me like I'm 'Luminati
This is a gated community, please get the ******* the property
Rap must be changing cause I'm at the top and ain't no one on top of me
****** be wanting a verse for a verse, but man that's not a swap to me
Drowning in compliments, pool in the backyard that look like Metropolis
I think I'm sellin' a million first week, man I guess I'm a optimist
Born in Toronto but sometimes I feel like Atlanta adopted us
What the **** is you talkin' 'bout? Saw this **** comin' like I had binoculars
Boy, Versace, Versace, we stay at the mansion when we in Miami
The pillows' Versace, the sheets are Versace, I just won a Grammy
I've been so quiet, I got the world like "What the **** is he planning?"
Just make sure that you got a back up plan cause that **** might come in handy
Started a label, the album is comin' September, just wait on it
This year I'm eating your food and my table got so many plates on it
Hundred inch TV at my house, I sit back like "**** I look great on it"
I do not **** with your new ****, my *****, don't ask for my take on it
Speakin' in lingo, man this for my ***** that trap out the bando
This for my ****** that call up Fernando to move a piano
**** all your feelin's cause business is business, its strictly financial
I'm always the first one to get it, man that's how you lead by example
Versace, Versace, Versace, Versace, Versace, Versace
Word to New York cause the Dyckman and Heights girls are callin' me "Papi"
I'm all on the low, take a famous girl out where there's no paparazzi
I'm tryna give Halle Berry a baby and no one can stop me

[Verse 2: Meek Mill]
Versace, Versace
Its killers, real ****** that's all in my posse (shooters!)
I'm getting so rich that they making up rumors that I'm illuminati (rich!)
Just me and my ****** we killin' these *******, go body for body (murders!)
These suckers be hating, they praying to God that I don't cop a Bugatti
Hold up, drop the top on the rari
Pull in the club and I'm stopping the party
Hold up, got ******* on *******
They poppin' on molly's I'm prolly at Follies with PeeWee and Tip
Of course i went with Lou
I did everything that I said I would do
I really won't tell you that I'm better than you
But we're not on the same level as you
Cause the G55 got a hell of a view
Regular ****** make regular moves
With ya regular ***** and ya regular crew
And you ***** still smokin on regular too? Like word?!
What a shame, my *****
Louboutin blood like Game, my *****
Get left tryna aim, my *****
Like Saddam Hussein, my *****
I'm whippin' this brand new machine
100 bands in my jeans
Call yo ***** Barry Sanders
She done ran through the team
I got hoes out the D
They playing on the team
Do anything for me
I mix that xan with the lean
Hold up, let me get it back
Versace, Versace
I'm gettin' this money, I'm stackin' my broccoli (racks!)
I'm running my city
You might gotta pay me if you land on my property (tax!)
I bought the boardwalk and I parked on the ave
****, my life's like monopoly
You caught a new case and you got outta jail
Boy, you look like a cop to me
(Get out of jail free card?)

[Verse 3: Tyga]
Aughh! Versace, Versace, I brought that **** back, all these ****** they copy
Medusa head on me I'm at the hotel, Versace Palazzo
I rented the yacht for a week, but I bought the convertible Lambo
Six mill for the mansion
I see haters coming I need some more ammo
These ****** gay that's Elmo
So much green I turned camo
Some hoover ****** on flannels
Light light you up no candle
Grip on that handle Yosemite Sam ya, that ***** bang like a banjo
Told my arms dealer no need for a box, I don't read the instructions, I throw out the manual (WOO!)
Versace, Versace, my brother king Trell he in a Ferrari
I don't look the same, my camera the same, I made too much money (WOO!)
Paul Pierce is my neighbor, I told him he should of went to the Clippers
I got some crazy ideas for Versace, get them and tell'em my number
Versace, auggh Picasso, Basquiat I'm cocky
23, 15 mill I'm just getting started
Pop water my water
I walk around on my wallet
I don't **** with Saddam but, that's gold all in my toilet
Statues of Horus, and the annubis is polished
I don't got to, rap about, coke for you to enjoy it
I'm bout' to join the money team, just holla' to Floyd about it
Versace, Versace, I'm taking my money to the Cayman islands (WOO!) Versace Auggh!!

[Outro: Quavo]
Versace, Versace, Versace, Versace
Versace, Versace, Versace, Versace
Versace, Versace Versace, Versace Versace
Versace, Versace Versace, Versace Versace

hickory nuts
and wind trees
are keeping
at the old buckle bay
light house corners and
shaker church craft
slip anchor on the southern tip

secret legions
and phenolic board
tuck in at gout dock
bands and nations
and miracle speak
fill in the center hall

sand hooks
and water domes
cover wharf road
***** bay toppers
and seven horse chugs
scatter the swollen upper deck

packards and pushers
and rusty back rails
skirt the night
lanterns and sterns
and navy gulls
steady on task

sand cakes
and drift wood
held tight on
the mystery tour
yellow tails
and tide pools
flat line
at royal reach

paddles
and cables
find ripples way
smugglers and smitties
take cover
from a
northern gale

down on
pocket shoal
there’s a graceful hue
~ they’re serving up
belons and xan…
it's time to get in
for a fill

o, rèmy martin dreamer,
with cheap hen on your breath.
the good brown is not the backwoods
or juul pods in virgina tobacco,

&

maybe the good brown manifests in my hair,
before the ammonia, touching my scalp
and turning it as red as my tongue after
a strawberry lollipop. everything
tastes like you.

&

i wish i could touch you again,
just hold your hand, brush your
elbow, play with your hair.
but i also wish i could drive a thousand
machetes into your flesh, while screaming

&

writhing with trash-sickened fervor .
you are *****-inducing. you smell
like a thousand patchouli-burning
stoners, but you feel like velvet
and taste like sugar-sweat.
you might be popping a xan right now,
knee-deep in beautiful girls.
and i'm still dope-sick.

shifting between polar bears
man i’m ******* bipolar
i hate you i love you, hell knows
should i have let you walk?

we were a **** show
brutally perfect kind of picture
hung on my toilet bowl
looking at you
as i puke up the xan bars of last night's party
while you lit up ur blunt

sending u my nudes
while writing love letters
we’re having a rad time
until we a mess

corruption
******* the pain away in our basement
i'm hurting i'm screaming onto the highroad
pulled up my skirt on the curb like a side ***
pick me up pick me up again
car lights flashing

i’ll be your own girl
I’ll do you right doe
while you flying in from LA
crashing your cute face
******* wrecking it against the ground boy

What's better than tripping is falling in love
What's better than Letterman, Leno, Fallon, and all the above
What's better than popping bottles trying to ball in the club
Is the first caveman pops with his son, ball and a club
What's better than paper is ballin' it up
What's better than followers is actually fallin' in love
What's better than frolicking, follies, fallin' in mud
Rolling in green pastures, wanderin', followin' love
What's better than eating is feeding your fam
What's better than meetings is missing meetings to meet with your fam
What's better than leaning and needing a Xan
Is hitting your zan dreaming a dream could mean leaving the land
What's better than yelling is hollerin' love
What's better than rhymes, nickels, dimes and dollars and dubs
Is dialing up your darling just for callin' her up
It ain't nothing better than fallin' in love
IGH!

F.A.M.E.

How I turn a 10 into 6?
I just gave her a 18 karote kiss
I just put my heart up on my wrist
Everywhere I turn they smile at me
Everytime I walk there like the sea
rushing, touching until I can’t even breath.
My hands won’t stop shaking it’s been doing this for a week
I got some meds from the doc
I got some meds from me
I pop a xan just for the thrill
I pop xan just to sleep
When I wake I’m in a city where I’m not even Gunna be...
So much things I need to do
So much things I need to see
So much demons in the room
All they want is to be in me.
Sold my soul so I can see
Sold my dog cause it started to hate me
Jacket full of hearts I’m in a everlasting fall
Went from crying for my dreams now I evoled ... I’m ballin picture me rolling the body that I’m with know that her heart I stole it ..cause I’m frozen.

Kendra is a star student and athlete
She is fifteen,brown, tall and has long hair
Every guy wants to beat
But she would never share
One party one night one guy
She let him fix her drink
He knew how to lie
Slipped her a xan I think
Nows she is in the sunken place
Numb to his force
Tears roll down her face
As he begins *******
He gets up his evil deed done
She lays there hoping to forget
Weeks past she told no one
Her stomach the threat
Then she took the test
positive as she feared
Her mind unclear
About what to do from here
She is Christian so the answer is simple
Be a kid with a kid that’s not hard
But soon she will pop like a pimple
Can she live with being scarred
The thought never crossed her mind
Unless death was the case
Could she really decline
A offer from a holy place
What would mom say
What about my pastor
This is the only way
To make it go away faster
Is she selfish for wanting better
For righting his wrong
She cries in her dads sweater
Alone and confused how long
Til the heartbeat comes
And the shape grows
Then you see thumbs
No it has to be done she knows
She takes four buses on a cold Saturday
Walks in the door to horror
Smell of decay and saddens weigh
Girls crying as the attendant ignores her
Eyes full of hate and dismay
Realizing three signatures signs a life away
She walks to the back feet so heavy
Now on the table the moment see feared
Face to face her tears burst like a levy
A blueberry a appeared
Every fiber telling her to go
To take the risk and figure it out
Two doctors walk in and she sets her eyes low
the pain makes her shout
One hour passes before she leaves
Her mind empty like her soul
She greaves but still believes
See after everything she was still whole
In the end her choice saved and ended life
Not out of hate but through faith
She could live with strife
Because it was her wraith
Her body was hers again
And one day when she chooses
Her mate and has that special date
Where the view is
Full of joy
her love will circulate
To see her choice cultivate

I grew up always telling myself things would get better.
But the longer I lived my life I always thought the world was getting more bitter and bitter.
Because every time I would take one step forward in life, I would be pushed back, further and further behind the starting line.

No one gives a **** about me. Even those who are paid to care just laugh behind my back.

From 10 years old I had my very first suicide attempt, now 8 years later I've tried 7 more times because the ******* therapist didn't give a single **** about how I was truly feeling.

From 12 years old I've been dependent on anti-depressants, now 6 years later I'm triple dosing my pills just to feel a fix, all because she was only focused on that 10-3 time card.

From 14 years old I've been addicted to alcohol, now 4 years later I hit the bottom of the bottle before I even feel a buzz, all because the paid rehab was just like those stupid therapy sessions.

From 17 years old I started looking at heavier drugs to feel fixed, now 1 years later taking a Xan in the morning followed by 3 Zoloft pills is the normal after a sleepless night of throwing up all the codeine I put my system through.

For 18 years I've cried over my mom.
For 18 years I've cried over my dad.
For 18 years all I've ever wanted to do was just ******* die.
Because I don't care how much longer it's gonna take that stupid rain cloud to go away for me to see the rainbows, I don't care, I physically nor mentally can take another hour of living in this makeshift hell above the ground.

I ask myself why I'm talking like this,
But it's amazing I'm even
Walking like this.
I just feel so hollow.
Slurring when things get blurry;
I took a xan to help me withstand
The task at hand,
And now I can barely stand,
But here I am,
Looking at these old pictures of us
As I reminisce.
I wonder if I'll remember this tomorrow.
I didn't have a hand to help me up
And cope with all my sorrow,
So forgive me for the times
When I be slumped
Because of this prescription bottle.
I promise I'll do better tomorrow.
I just long to see your face
Again.
I don't sleep.
I only dream of a time when
This emptiness
Will end.
I miss my friend.
All I got is a few old strings 
On my guitar to try
And mend my heart,
But right now
It's locked up in the dark,
And I'm a ghost so I can't
Feel these strings bend.
Still I try to piece it
Back together again
With these words
I'm trying to send
Out to your golden soul
And anyone else
Who's listening in.
Sometimes I think about
Taking my life
Just to see what it's like
On the other side,
But I know
That ain't right.
I just long to be
By your side,
The place where I called home.
In a crowded room,
I still feel alone,
And I still hope
That it's you
Every time I hear the phone
Ring.
I wonder
Will my carol of groans
Ever reach your resting bones
When I sing?
Well I tell you I believe,
But I don't know how.
Yeah, the caged bird sings,
But he don't make a sound
Because their ain't anybody
Around to hear him now.
All the clouds look down
On me with a frown
Because they hear my voice
Carrying its sorrow abound.
Even the wolf and the hound
Have their heads tucked down
At the sight of these shoulders
Walking with this weight around.
I just wish you were still around.
No, the drugs don't work.
I know... They just make me worse,
But I need a spark for this heart
That left along with you
In your hearse.
No, the drugs don't hurt.
In fact, I'm pretty numb now.
Your memories paint the town
So I won't be coming down soon.
Night sky sanguine,
Ain't no one as faded as me.
I'm the highest in the room.
Roll another blunt
As I hit another bump,
Then I blow a cloud
As the line drains down;
Let the pain escape to the moon.
And I hate it, but I won't cry
Cause if I did,
It would be a monsoon.
Dearly departed friend,
I love you.
Please don't be saddened
By my bluesy tune.
It's just what I had to do,
To take the pain of losing you.
I know you're always with me
In my heart,
So I know we'll never truly part.
That's why I wrote a note
To help me cope
And keep some hope.
I know it's sad, but
It took everything I had
To refrain;
Not to hang or go insane
From all this pain.
I barely have any breath left,
But I don't want to drown.
Even though I know
This soul sits heavy like lead.
That's why my eyes stay red.
Only the memories in my head
Still play their **** instruments on time.
Pictures in my mind of you
Combine until I'm lost
In the last trace
Of the lines on your face,
And I forget that
I'm supposed to rhyme.
It hurt to write this verse
But I prayed for you first,
For whatever it's worth.
Yeah, I hit another line
As I wrote another line,
And I know...
The drugs won't ever work.
But at least when I'm high,
I can still feel your arms around me
Just one more time.

My fix can’t be craved
My hunger is never waived
I’m so enslaved
By noon here comes my hookup
Time to shoot up
Thick, long hair, little waist
Makeup all on her face
She is as hollow as a dead tree
Only skill is to be on a knee
But the drug is leaving me
My hand shakes
Sweat lakes
Stomach aches
Until the clock strikes seven
Now I’m in heaven
Oxy, lean, xan , hurry Kevin
I need to feel no pain
Clear the clouds in my brain
Put life in my veins
It’s only temporary
Then I go get merry
Head to my library
Inside green papers only
That way I’m never lonely
Because Benjamin is my *****
My day comes to end
I’m full on my sin
Well until the sun comes again

My words be plenty wise,
Yet people only wanna listen to garbage,
Like lil skies.
Afterall, the rap game has shown it hates logic.
Maybe I’d be rich,
If I bragged that I could have plenty wives.
Maybe you’d ******* listen,
If my words were sadistic like pennywise.
Maybe I’d be signed,
If I sold my soul to the demon goat with three eyes.
However, with fame comes leeches,
That tell pretty lies.
Getting hooked to the fiction,
Compromising morality to get between some thighs,
As well as wine and dined,
With bells come the whistles for the blind.
The frame of mind,
Through space and time,
Has begun to unwind,
With evolution on the decline.

What was once filled with clarity,
Is now filled with mumbling.
What once expressed challenging themes,
Now all sounds the same to me.
It’s so sad to see,
A Grammy list that nominated lil baby,
But not Denzel Curry, now that’s a tragedy.

I think I need to down me some communion wine,
Cause people have lost they minds,
Acting gangster but we know they lying,
Pulling a gunna out from behind,
Yet if caught, pull a 6ix9ine,
****, I swear music is confined,
Instead of bumping to Tech N9ne,
They pop lil xan’s while watching drumline,
Makes me wishing I could reincarnate as a slime,
Because it’s just so uninspiring,
Young wannabe thugs thinking they lions,
Are just lying to themselves,
Wanting be like ***,
But ending up a body full of gun shells,
POW POW POW POW,
Can’t you see the parallels?
Too busy believing in the fairytale,
Thinking ya can set sail,
Like a lil yachty boat,
But even the titanic thought it could float,
It’s funny that these SoundCloud rappers,
Think they the goat,
Trying so hard to attain some cloat,
By calling Eminem a joke.
But the only joke I see,
Is you folk.

What was once filled with clarity,
Is now filled with mumbling.
What once expressed challenging themes,
Now all sounds the same to me.
It’s so sad to see,
A Grammy list that nominated lil baby,
But not Denzel Curry, now that’s a tragedy.

everybody be spitting ****
saying this done and that done
but what is really done
is the damage done.
they say 'once u popped, you never stop'
even tilll X's death
popped bombs day in and out
going out the back door
getting popped in front.

pop  drop thud
out cold on the floor
wishing the day to come sooner
to visit him 3 feet under.

but what struck me the most,
was that he was even dead before he died,
like many of us,
we are just living off borrowed time.

in so many ways i relate,
hopefully not anymore,
as i hope and wish
i will find something sooner
this ***** gonna **** me for sure
but if i die with a xan on my tongue,
stone me to death fight me even when im down.

with all said and done
x's gonna see me sooner,
gonna give him my supplier
if he has none.

im done.

I’ve been smoking almost every day
for the last few years

I know it’s no Vik, Perc, Morph, or Xan
and it’s backwards to be used as chloraseptic
but I never needed sweeter substances
and it works a **** ton better than advil

But I’ve used it instead of friends
whether that’s good or bad depends
if I’m on the steep end of dependance
or just really spent  and tenuous

Acquittal is wishful
I’m wilfully guilty

But I’m unsure of what
and how not be

I need to learn,
how to love u the way the earth loves the moon.
fondly, but form distance.


ohh, hi xan