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Musicgurl97 Jan 2014
Sometimes I wonder about the girl in the back of the class with the Hogwarts shirt who knows everything.
Sometimes I wonder about the shy, new boy who is slightly bigger than the rest of our Psych class.
Sometimes I wonder about the varsity soccer player with a little sister who is a newcomer.  
Sometimes I wonder about how my math teacher and assistant director are dating.
Sometimes I wonder why the boy in my English class feels the need to argue everything.
Sometimes I wonder how the girls in my class do their makeup so precisely.
Sometimes I wonder what life would be like without my siblings.
Sometimes I wonder what I would do if my best friend died.
Sometimes I wonder what would happen if I died.
Sometimes I wonder about my future.
Sometimes I wonder how we're all connected without really being connected at all.
PoetAnonymous Oct 2013
I wonder what you'd do if you saw these..

I wonder if you'd be creeped out..
I wonder if you'd think I'm crazy..
I wonder if you'd actually appreciate them..
I wonder if you'd finally appreciate me..
I wonder if you'd still talk to me..
I wonder if you'd understand me..
I wonder if you'd realize I actually do love you..
I wonder if you'd even accept my love..
I wonder if you'd enjoy them..
I wonder if you'd re-read them..

But most of all,
I wonder if you'd love me back.
FIRST DAY

1.
Who wanted me
to go to Chicago
on January 6th?
I did!

The night before,
20 below zero
Fahrenheit
with the wind chill;
as the blizzard of 99
lay in mountains
of blackening snow.

I packed two coats,
two suits,
three sweaters,
multiple sets of long johns
and heavy white socks
for a two-day stay.

I left from Newark.
**** the denseness,
it confounds!

The 2nd City to whom?
2nd ain’t bad.
It’s pretty good.
If you consider
Peking and Prague,
Tokyo and Togo,
Manchester and Moscow,
Port Au Prince and Paris,
Athens and Amsterdam,
Buenos Aries and Johannesburg;
that’s pretty good.

What’s going on here today?
It’s friggin frozen.
To the bone!

But Chi Town is still cool.
Buddy Guy’s is open.
Bartenders mixing drinks,
cabbies jamming on their breaks,
honey dew waitresses serving sugar,
buildings swerving,
fire tongued preachers are preaching
and the farmers are measuring the moon.

The lake,
unlike Ontario
is in the midst of freezing.
Bones of ice
threaten to gel
into a solid mass
over the expanse
of the Michigan Lake.
If this keeps up,
you can walk
clear to Toronto
on a silver carpet.

Along the shore
the ice is permanent.
It’s the first big frost
of winter
after a long
Indian Summer.

Thank God
I caught a cab.
Outside I hear
The Hawk
nippin hard.
It’ll get your ear,
finger or toe.
Bite you on the nose too
if you ain’t careful.

Thank God,
I’m not walking
the Wabash tonight;
but if you do cover up,
wear layers.

Chicago,
could this be
Sandburg’s City?

I’m overwhelmed
and this is my tenth time here.

It’s almost better,
sometimes it is better,
a lot of times it is better
and denser then New York.

Ask any Bull’s fan.
I’m a Knickerbocker.
Yes Nueva York,
a city that has placed last
in the standings
for many years.
Except the last two.
Yanks are # 1!

But Chicago
is a dynasty,
as big as
Sammy Sosa’s heart,
rich and wide
as Michael Jordan’s grin.

Middle of a country,
center of a continent,
smack dab in the mean
of a hemisphere,
vortex to a world,
Chicago!

Kansas City,
Nashville,
St. Louis,
Detroit,
Cleveland,
Pittsburgh,
Denver,
New Orleans,
Dallas,
Cairo,
Singapore,
Auckland,
Baghdad,
Mexico City
and Montreal
salute her.



2.
Cities,
A collection of vanities?
Engineered complex utilitarianism?
The need for community a social necessity?
Ego one with the mass?
Civilization’s latest *******?
Chicago is more then that.

Jefferson’s yeoman farmer
is long gone
but this capitol
of the Great Plains
is still democratic.

The citizen’s of this city
would vote daily,
if they could.

Chicago,
Sandburg’s Chicago,
Could it be?

The namesake river
segments the city,
canals of commerce,
all perpendicular,
is rife throughout,
still guiding barges
to the Mississippi
and St. Laurence.

Now also
tourist attractions
for a cafe society.

Chicago is really jazzy,
swanky clubs,
big steaks,
juices and drinks.

You get the best
coffee from Seattle
and the finest teas
from China.

Great restaurants
serve liquid jazz
al la carte.

Jazz Jazz Jazz
All they serve is Jazz
Rock me steady
Keep the beat
Keep it flowin
Feel the heat!

Jazz Jazz Jazz
All they is, is Jazz
Fast cars will take ya
To the show
Round bout midnight
Where’d the time go?

Flows into the Mississippi,
the mother of America’s rivers,
an empires aorta.

Great Lakes wonder of water.
Niagara Falls
still her heart gushes forth.

Buffalo connected to this holy heart.
Finger Lakes and Adirondacks
are part of this watershed,
all the way down to the
Delaware and Chesapeake.

Sandburg’s Chicago?
Oh my my,
the wonder of him.
Who captured the imagination
of the wonders of rivers.

Down stream other holy cities
from the Mississippi delta
all mapped by him.

Its mouth our Dixie Trumpet
guarded by righteous Cajun brethren.

Midwest?
Midwest from where?
It’s north of Caracas and Los Angeles,
east of Fairbanks,
west of Dublin
and south of not much.

Him,
who spoke of honest men
and loving women.
Working men and mothers
bearing citizens to build a nation.
The New World’s
precocious adolescent
caught in a stream
of endless and exciting change,
much pain and sacrifice,
dedication and loss,
pride and tribulations.

From him we know
all the people’s faces.
All their stories are told.
Never defeating the
idea of Chicago.

Sandburg had the courage to say
what was in the heart of the people, who:

Defeated the Indians,
Mapped the terrain,
Aided slavers,
Fought a terrible civil war,
Hoisted the barges,
Grew the food,
Whacked the wheat,
Sang the songs,
Fought many wars of conquest,
Cleared the land,
Erected the bridges,
Trapped the game,
Netted the fish,
Mined the coal,
Forged the steel,
Laid the tracks,
Fired the tenders,
Cut the stone,
Mixed the mortar,
Plumbed the line,
And laid the bricks
Of this nation of cities!

Pardon the Marlboro Man shtick.
It’s a poor expostulation of
crass commercial symbolism.

Like I said, I’m a
Devil Fan from Jersey
and Madison Avenue
has done its work on me.

It’s a strange alchemy
that changes
a proud Nation of Blackhawks
into a merchandising bonanza
of hometown hockey shirts,
making the native seem alien,
and the interloper at home chillin out,
warming his feet atop a block of ice,
guzzling Old Style
with clicker in hand.

Give him his beer
and other diversions.
If he bowls with his buddy’s
on Tuesday night
I hope he bowls
a perfect game.

He’s earned it.
He works hard.
Hard work and faith
built this city.

And it’s not just the faith
that fills the cities
thousand churches,
temples and
mosques on the Sabbath.

3.
There is faith in everything in Chicago!

An alcoholic broker named Bill
lives the Twelve Steps
to banish fear and loathing
for one more day.
Bill believes in sobriety.

A tug captain named Moe
waits for the spring thaw
so he can get the barges up to Duluth.
Moe believes in the seasons.

A farmer named Tom
hopes he has reaped the last
of many bitter harvests.
Tom believes in a new start.

A homeless man named Earl
wills himself a cot and a hot
at the local shelter.
Earl believes in deliverance.

A Pullman porter
named George
works overtime
to get his first born
through medical school.
George believes in opportunity.

A folk singer named Woody
sings about his
countrymen inheritance
and implores them to take it.
Woody believes in people.

A Wobbly named Joe
organizes fellow steelworkers
to fight for a workers paradise
here on earth.
Joe believes in ideals.

A bookkeeper named Edith
is certain she’ll see the Cubs
win the World Series
in her lifetime.
Edith believes in miracles.

An electrician named ****
saves money
to bring his family over from Gdansk.
**** believes in America.

A banker named Leah
knows Ditka will return
and lead the Bears
to another Super Bowl.
Leah believes in nostalgia.

A cantor named Samuel
prays for another 20 years
so he can properly train
his Temple’s replacement.

Samuel believes in tradition.
A high school girl named Sally
refuses to get an abortion.
She knows she carries
something special within her.
Sally believes in life.

A city worker named Mazie
ceaselessly prays
for her incarcerated son
doing 10 years at Cook.
Mazie believes in redemption.

A jazzer named Bix
helps to invent a new art form
out of the mist.
Bix believes in creativity.

An architect named Frank
restores the Rookery.
Frank believes in space.

A soldier named Ike
fights wars for democracy.
Ike believes in peace.

A Rabbi named Jesse
sermonizes on Moses.
Jesse believes in liberation.

Somewhere in Chicago
a kid still believes in Shoeless Joe.
The kid believes in
the integrity of the game.

An Imam named Louis
is busy building a nation
within a nation.
Louis believes in
self-determination.

A teacher named Heidi
gives all she has to her students.
She has great expectations for them all.
Heidi believes in the future.

4.
Does Chicago have a future?

This city,
full of cowboys
and wildcatters
is predicated
on a future!

Bang, bang
Shoot em up
Stake the claim
It’s your terrain
Drill the hole
Strike it rich
Top it off
You’re the boss
Take a chance
Watch it wane
Try again
Heavenly gains

Chicago
city of futures
is a Holy Mecca
to all day traders.

Their skin is gray,
hair disheveled,
loud ties and
funny coats,
thumb through
slips of paper
held by nail
chewed hands.
Selling promises
with no derivative value
for out of the money calls
and in the money puts.
Strike is not a labor action
in this city of unionists,
but a speculators mark,
a capitalist wish,
a hedgers bet,
a public debt
and a farmers
fair return.

Indexes for everything.
Quantitative models
that could burst a kazoo.

You know the measure
of everything in Chicago.
But is it truly objective?
Have mathematics banished
subjective intentions,
routing it in fair practice
of market efficiencies,
a kind of scientific absolution?

I heard that there
is a dispute brewing
over the amount of snowfall
that fell on the 1st.

The mayor’s office,
using the official city ruler
measured 22”
of snow on the ground.

The National Weather Service
says it cannot detect more
then 17” of snow.

The mayor thinks
he’ll catch less heat
for the trains that don’t run
the buses that don’t arrive
and the schools that stand empty
with the addition of 5”.

The analysts say
it’s all about capturing liquidity.

Liquidity,
can you place a great lake
into an eyedropper?

Its 20 below
and all liquid things
are solid masses
or a gooey viscosity at best.

Water is frozen everywhere.
But Chi town is still liquid,
flowing faster
then the digital blips
flashing on the walls
of the CBOT.

Dreams
are never frozen in Chicago.
The exchanges trade
without missing a beat.

Trading wet dreams,
the crystallized vapor
of an IPO
pledging a billion points
of Internet access
or raiding the public treasuries
of a central bank’s
huge stores of gold
with currency swaps.

Using the tools
of butterfly spreads
and candlesticks
to achieve the goal.

Short the Russell
or buy the Dow,
go long the
CAC and DAX.
Are you trading in euro’s?
You better be
or soon will.
I know
you’re Chicago,
you’ll trade anything.
WEBS,
Spiders,
and Leaps
are traded here,
along with sweet crude,
North Sea Brent,
plywood and T-Bill futures;
and most importantly
the commodities,
the loam
that formed this city
of broad shoulders.

What about our wheat?
Still whacking and
breadbasket to the world.

Oil,
an important fossil fuel
denominated in
good ole greenbacks.

Porkbellies,
not just hogwash
on the Wabash,
but bacon, eggs
and flapjacks
are on the menu
of every diner in Jersey
as the “All American.”

Cotton,
our contribution
to the Golden Triangle,
once the global currency
used to enrich a
gentlemen class
of cultured
southern slavers,
now Tommy Hilfiger’s
preferred fabric.

I think he sends it
to Bangkok where
child slaves
spin it into
gold lame'.

Sorghum,
I think its hardy.

Soybeans,
the new age substitute
for hamburger
goes great with tofu lasagna.

Corn,
ADM creates ethanol,
they want us to drive cleaner cars.

Cattle,
once driven into this city’s
bloodhouses for slaughter,
now ground into
a billion Big Macs
every year.

When does a seed
become a commodity?
When does a commodity
become a future?
When does a future expire?

You can find the answers
to these questions in Chicago
and find a fortune in a hole in the floor.

Look down into the pits.
Hear the screams of anguish
and profitable delights.

Frenzied men
swarming like a mass
of epileptic ants
atop the worlds largest sugar cube
auger the worlds free markets.

The scene is
more chaotic then
100 Haymarket Square Riots
multiplied by 100
1968 Democratic Conventions.

Amidst inverted anthills,
they scurry forth and to
in distinguished
black and red coats.

Fighting each other
as counterparties
to a life and death transaction.

This is an efficient market
that crosses the globe.

Oil from the Sultan of Brunei,
Yen from the land of Hitachi,
Long Bonds from the Fed,
nickel from Quebec,
platinum and palladium
from Siberia,
FTSE’s from London
and crewel cane from Havana
circle these pits.

Tijuana,
Shanghai
and Istanbul's
best traders
are only half as good
as the average trader in Chicago.

Chicago,
this hog butcher to the world,
specializes in packaging and distribution.

Men in blood soaked smocks,
still count the heads
entering the gates of the city.

Their handiwork
is sent out on barges
and rail lines as frozen packages
of futures
waiting for delivery
to an anonymous counterparty
half a world away.

This nation’s hub
has grown into the
premier purveyor
to the world;
along all the rivers,
highways,
railways
and estuaries
it’s tentacles reach.

5.
Sandburg’s Chicago,
is a city of the world’s people.

Many striver rows compose
its many neighborhoods.

Nordic stoicism,
Eastern European orthodoxy
and Afro-American
calypso vibrations
are three of many cords
strumming the strings
of Chicago.

Sandburg’s Chicago,
if you wrote forever
you would only scratch its surface.

People wait for trains
to enter the city from O’Hare.
Frozen tears
lock their eyes
onto distant skyscrapers,
solid chunks
of snot blocks their nose
and green icicles of slime
crust mustaches.
They fight to breathe.

Sandburg’s Chicago
is The Land of Lincoln,
Savior of the Union,
protector of the Republic.
Sent armies
of sons and daughters,
barges, boxcars,
gunboats, foodstuffs,
cannon and shot
to raze the south
and stamp out succession.

Old Abe’s biography
are still unknown volumes to me.
I must see and read the great words.
You can never learn enough;
but I’ve been to Washington
and seen the man’s memorial.
The Free World’s 8th wonder,
guarded by General Grant,
who still keeps an eye on Richmond
and a hand on his sword.

Through this American winter
Abe ponders.
The vista he surveys is dire and tragic.

Our sitting President
impeached
for lying about a *******.

Party partisans
in the senate are sworn and seated.
Our Chief Justice,
adorned with golden bars
will adjudicate the proceedings.
It is the perfect counterpoint
to an ageless Abe thinking
with malice toward none
and charity towards all,
will heal the wounds
of the nation.

Abe our granite angel,
Chicago goes on,
The Union is strong!


SECOND DAY

1.
Out my window
the sun has risen.

According to
the local forecast
its minus 9
going up to
6 today.

The lake,
a golden pillow of clouds
is frozen in time.

I marvel
at the ancients ones
resourcefulness
and how
they mastered
these extreme elements.

Past, present and future
has no meaning
in the Citadel
of the Prairie today.

I set my watch
to Central Standard Time.

Stepping into
the hotel lobby
the concierge
with oil smooth hair,
perfect tie
and English lilt
impeccably asks,
“Do you know where you are going Sir?
Can I give you a map?”

He hands me one of Chicago.
I see he recently had his nails done.
He paints a green line
along Whacker Drive and says,
“turn on Jackson, LaSalle, Wabash or Madison
and you’ll get to where you want to go.”
A walk of 14 or 15 blocks from Streeterville-
(I start at The Chicago White House.
They call it that because Hillary Rodham
stays here when she’s in town.
Its’ also alleged that Stedman
eats his breakfast here
but Opra
has never been seen
on the premises.
I wonder how I gained entry
into this place of elite’s?)
-down into the center of The Loop.

Stepping out of the hotel,
The Doorman
sporting the epaulets of a colonel
on his corporate winter coat
and furry Cossack hat
swaddling his round black face
accosts me.

The skin of his face
is flaking from
the subzero windburn.

He asks me
with a gapped toothy grin,
“Can I get you a cab?”
“No I think I’ll walk,” I answer.
“Good woolen hat,
thick gloves you should be alright.”
He winks and lets me pass.

I step outside.
The Windy City
flings stabbing cold spears
flying on wings of 30-mph gusts.
My outside hardens.
I can feel the freeze
deepen
into my internalness.
I can’t be sure
but inside
my heart still feels warm.
For how long
I cannot say.

I commence
my walk
among the spires
of this great city,
the vertical leaps
that anchor the great lake,
holding its place
against the historic
frigid assault.

The buildings’ sway,
modulating to the blows
of natures wicked blasts.

It’s a hard imposition
on a city and its people.

The gloves,
skullcap,
long underwear,
sweater,
jacket
and overcoat
not enough
to keep the cold
from penetrating
the person.

Like discerning
the layers of this city,
even many layers,
still not enough
to understand
the depth of meaning
of the heart
of this heartland city.

Sandburg knew the city well.
Set amidst groves of suburbs
that extend outward in every direction.
Concentric circles
surround the city.
After the burbs come farms,
Great Plains, and mountains.
Appalachians and Rockies
are but mere molehills
in the city’s back yard.
It’s terra firma
stops only at the sea.
Pt. Barrow to the Horn,
many capes extended.

On the periphery
its appendages,
its extremities,
its outward extremes.
All connected by the idea,
blown by the incessant wind
of this great nation.
The Windy City’s message
is sent to the world’s four corners.
It is a message of power.
English the worlds
common language
is spoken here,
along with Ebonics,
Espanol,
Mandarin,
Czech,
Russian,
Korean,
Arabic,
Hindi­,
German,
French,
electronics,
steel,
cars,
cartoons,
rap,
sports­,
movies,
capital,
wheat
and more.

Always more.
Much much more
in Chicago.

2.
Sandburg
spoke all the dialects.

He heard them all,
he understood
with great precision
to the finest tolerances
of a lathe workers micrometer.

Sandburg understood
what it meant to laugh
and be happy.

He understood
the working mans day,
the learned treatises
of university chairs,
the endless tomes
of the city’s
great libraries,
the lost languages
of the ancient ones,
the secret codes
of abstract art,
the impact of architecture,
the street dialects and idioms
of everymans expression of life.

All fighting for life,
trying to build a life,
a new life
in this modern world.

Walking across
the Michigan Avenue Bridge
I see the Wrigley Building
is neatly carved,
catty cornered on the plaza.

I wonder if Old Man Wrigley
watched his barges
loaded with spearmint
and double-mint
move out onto the lake
from one of those Gothic windows
perched high above the street.

Would he open a window
and shout to the men below
to quit slaking and work harder
or would he
between the snapping sound
he made with his mouth
full of his chewing gum
offer them tickets
to a ballgame at Wrigley Field
that afternoon?

Would the men below
be able to understand
the man communing
from such a great height?

I listen to a man
and woman conversing.
They are one step behind me
as we meander along Wacker Drive.

"You are in Chicago now.”
The man states with profundity.
“If I let you go
you will soon find your level
in this city.
Do you know what I mean?”

No I don’t.
I think to myself.
What level are you I wonder?
Are you perched atop
the transmission spire
of the Hancock Tower?

I wouldn’t think so
or your ears would melt
from the windburn.

I’m thinking.
Is she a kept woman?
She is majestically clothed
in fur hat and coat.
In animal pelts
not trapped like her,
but slaughtered
from farms
I’m sure.

What level
is he speaking of?

Many levels
are evident in this city;
many layers of cobbled stone,
Pennsylvania iron,
Hoosier Granite
and vertical drops.

I wonder
if I detect
condensation
in his voice?

What is
his intention?
Is it a warning
of a broken affair?
A pending pink slip?
Advise to an addict
refusing to adhere
to a recovery regimen?

What is his level anyway?
Is he so high and mighty,
Higher and mightier
then this great city
which we are all a part of,
which we all helped to build,
which we all need
in order to keep this nation
the thriving democratic
empire it is?

This seditious talk!

3.
The Loop’s El
still courses through
the main thoroughfares of the city.

People are transported
above the din of the street,
looking down
on the common pedestrians
like me.

Super CEO’s
populating the upper floors
of Romanesque,
Greek Revivalist,
New Bauhaus,
Art Deco
and Post Nouveau
Neo-Modern
Avant-Garde towers
are too far up
to see me
shivering on the street.

The cars, busses,
trains and trucks
are all covered
with the film
of rock salt.

Salt covers
my bootless feet
and smudges
my cloths as well.

The salt,
the primal element
of the earth
covers everything
in Chicago.

It is the true level
of this city.

The layer
beneath
all layers,
on which
everything
rests,
is built,
grows,
thrives
then dies.
To be
returned again
to the lower
layers
where it can
take root
again
and grow
out onto
the great plains.

Splashing
the nation,
anointing
its people
with its
blessing.

A blessing,
Chicago?

All rivers
come here.

All things
found its way here
through the canals
and back bays
of the world’s
greatest lakes.

All roads,
rails and
air routes
begin and
end here.

Mrs. O’Leary’s cow
got a *** rap.
It did not start the fire,
we did.

We lit the torch
that flamed
the city to cinders.
From a pile of ash
Chicago rose again.

Forever Chicago!
Forever the lamp
that burns bright
on a Great Lake’s
western shore!

Chicago
the beacon
sends the
message to the world
with its windy blasts,
on chugging barges,
clapping trains,
flying tandems,
T1 circuits
and roaring jets.

Sandburg knew
a Chicago
I will never know.

He knew
the rhythm of life
the people walked to.
The tools they used,
the dreams they dreamed
the songs they sang,
the things they built,
the things they loved,
the pains that hurt,
the motives that grew,
the actions that destroyed
the prayers they prayed,
the food they ate
their moments of death.

Sandburg knew
the layers of the city
to the depths
and windy heights
I cannot fathom.

The Blues
came to this city,
on the wing
of a chirping bird,
on the taps
of a rickety train,
on the blast
of an angry sax
rushing on the wind,
on the Westend blitz
of Pop's brash coronet,
on the tink of
a twinkling piano
on a paddle-wheel boat
and on the strings
of a lonely man’s guitar.

Walk into the clubs,
tenements,
row houses,
speakeasies
and you’ll hear the Blues
whispered like
a quiet prayer.

Tidewater Blues
from Virginia,
Delta Blues
from the lower
Mississippi,
Boogie Woogie
from Appalachia,
Texas Blues
from some Lone Star,
Big Band Blues
from Kansas City,
Blues from
Beal Street,
Jelly Roll’s Blues
from the Latin Quarter.

Hell even Chicago
got its own brand
of Blues.

Its all here.
It ended up here
and was sent away
on the winds of westerly blows
to the ear of an eager world
on strong jet streams
of simple melodies
and hard truths.

A broad
shouldered woman,
a single mother stands
on the street
with three crying babes.
Their cloths
are covered
in salt.
She pleads
for a break,
praying
for a new start.
Poor and
under-clothed
against the torrent
of frigid weather
she begs for help.
Her blond hair
and ****** features
suggests her
Scandinavian heritage.
I wonder if
she is related to Sandburg
as I walk past
her on the street.
Her feet
are bleeding
through her
canvass sneakers.
Her babes mouths
are zipped shut
with frozen drivel
and mucous.

The Blues live
on in Chicago.

The Blues
will forever live in her.
As I turn the corner
to walk the Miracle Mile
I see her engulfed
in a funnel cloud of salt,
snow and bits
of white paper,
swirling around her
and her children
in an angry
unforgiving
maelstrom.

The family
begins to
dissolve
like a snail
sprinkled with salt;
and a mother
and her children
just disappear
into the pavement
at the corner
of Dearborn,
in Chicago.

Music:

Robert Johnson
Sweet Home Chicago


jbm
Chicago
1/7/99
Added today to commemorate the birthday of Carl Sandburg
ryn Mar 2015
Wonder if when constellations do align
And universe would finally see.
Would it be presumptious of me
To claim that then, finally you'd be mine.

Wonder if my sense would triumph over
So that my heart would be muted.
With all its contents looted...
Would I only seem sillier?

Wonder if I walked away
In due course.
You'd then take my hand in yours
So that a minute longer I'd stay...

Wonder if you'd understand
When if these feet
Should choose to retreat...
That they had to... It wasn't planned.

Wonder if it'd make a difference
If I said that I had to...
Not for me but more for you.
Would we still be able to love in silence?

Wonder if you'd wish that you made it all clear.
Before the gravity of reality would crush us,
Before the vastness of uncertainty swallows us,
Before my presence would diminish and inevitably disappear.

Wonder if you find my pessimism exhausting.
The volatile nature of my moods...
Especially when I dive deep in solitude
And resurface with a trove of words that are no less than exasperating.

Wonder if you loved me enough
In a day...
To stop me from walking away...
Or loved me too much to plainly say

That...

Future's days would see us apart...
Future's moon would glow but not for us...
Future's stars would sing but not of us...
Future's sun would dry out the passion in our hearts.
Andrew Tang Apr 2017
All great stories have a beginning , a middle & a end,
But not necessarily in that order.

I wonder what metaphor you should be,
Like I wonder if our story is just at the beginning  or just at the ending.
Or if there is a fairy tale ending.
THE END .
What is on the last page of a book was on
The first chapter of ours titled rejection.

I wonder why I had to laugh to the sound of no
Just to make this easier for you
I wonder is this the false face of a lover,
Simply to care.
I wonder am I allowed to use the  word love
When our story together never really began.

I wonder if there is an alternative to the two paths I can take,
Like I wonder do you realise my meaning behind how 'I want  to watch you grow',
If the two lesser roles you had offered to me is mine to pick  to be stranger or friends
For the lesser plot of our Middle,
Let me explain,
I wanted to be somone special in this story
If you allow me to.

But instead I'm probably going to be
Like a social therapist,
Like a guardian angel,
Like a hero who does not  wear capes.

But instead I'm probably going to be
Always listening and never fixing,
Always blessing  but never protecting,
Always  changing and never rescuing.

I wonder why you  can be so certain,
I wonder  was it easy for you to edit away at this life's story

I wonder if you Know why you re called  a baby chick?
You're like a baby chick who has yet to grow out feathers
Like a chick that does not give out hope,
Cause hope is a thing of feathers.

I wonder if this relationship is at the ending or  at the beginning?
P.S. you ****
Sometimes I let my mind wonder about the message I'll write to a girl I liked.
Big Virge Dec 2019
Do You Ever Wonder ?
Why So Many Men Hurt Their Human Brothers ... ?!?
  
Or As Time UNFURLS What's With These Girls ...    
Who Rush To Have Children They Don't Want To Mother ... !?!  
    
So Many Questions With Answers Uncovered ... ?!?  
Why Do People Plunder Don't YOU Ever Wonder ... ?!?  
    
Why Do People Do The Things That They Do ... ?  
ESPECIALLY Things That Lead To ABUSE ... ?!?  
    
Such Actions Bemuse And Leave Me Confused ... ???  
Some People Need Doctors Whose Surname Is ... " Who " ... !!!  
    
I Wonder Sometimes About Peoples' Minds ...  
    
Then Think of Those Smiling Who Have Little Food ... ?!?  
BELIEVE Me ... That's TRUE ... !!!!!  
    
It's Easy To Try And Avoid These Issues ...  
When Buying Your Car On Your NEW Platinum Card ...    
Whilst CLAIMING Your Life Is .... "EVER SO HARD !" ....  
    
From ...    
Bourgeoise Type Stars To Those Who CLAIM Class ... ?  
To Those Who Sit MOANING Whilst Drinking In Bars ... ?!?!?  
    
Who On Earth Do They Think They Are When People Still Starve ...  
Because of The GREED of These HUGE Companies ...  
Like Those Who **** Trees To Build Properties ... !?!  
    
I Wonder Sometimes When Writing My Rhymes ...  
What Concerns The Minds of ... GREED Driven Guys ...  
And Those Who Have GREEDIER Cash-Driven Wives ... !!?!!  
    
I Wonder Sometimes Will Poverty DIE ... ?  
And What's With The NEED For These Chemical Highs ... !?!  
    
Who Thought Up Designs To DESTROY Young Minds ...  
And Why Do We Comply With Those Who Feed LIES ... ?  
And Why Have We Always Let Truth Be DENIED ... !!!?!!!  
    
Why Walk Around Blind When You Have Good Sight ... !?!  
God Gave Us Two Eyes To See Through The L I E S ... !!!  
    
It Would Seem UNWISE To Choose To DENY ...  
Things That Might HELP Us To Live ... HAPPY Lives ... !!!  
    
I Wonder I Cry As Time Passes By .......  
    
Who Gave Me Insight To Write All These Rhymes ... !?!  
When SO MANY Think My Lyrical Twists ....  
Are NOT Fit To Give To Adults Or Kids ... !?!  
What Makes People Sink' To Doing These Things ... ?!?  
    
I Wonder Sometimes Will They Feel The STING ... !?!    
Many Are CALLED But Who Chooses Kings ... !?!  
    
Who'll Take The Fall ... ?  
And Who Will Be MAULED ... !!!  
    
I Wonder Sometimes Why Am I SO TALL ... !!!?!!!  
    
What Gives US THE RIGHT To Keep Animals Caged ...  
Spending Large Sums of Cash To Build Zoos And Act ...  
Like Putting These Animals On .... " Public View " ....  
Is The Right Thing To Do When People NEED FOOD ... !!!?!!!  
    
My Views Are UNCOOL To Those Who Now Choose ...  
To Buy Into Jewels And ... " DESIGNER Shoes " ...  
    
I Wonder About The MILLIONS of Pounds ... !!!!!  
Paid To TOP Top Sportsmen And Pop Singing Clowns ...  
Whose Songs Should Be ..... " DROWNED " ..... !!!!!!!!!!        
    
How Many of Them Think of What They Spend .... !!!!!!  
To Buy Themselves Homes In WELL SECURED Zones ...  
LOCKED IN Like A Crim' With Their TROPHY Women ... ?!?  
    
How Many I Wonder Ever Think About Others ...  
WORSE OFF Than Themselves When They Look At Their Wealth ...  
Then Think It's Their Duty To Give The Poor Help ... ?  
    
But Who Am I To Judge ... !!!?!!!  
They've EARNED All Their Stuff ... !!!!  
    
It's ALL Relative ...  
Well Sometimes I Wonder ...    
When I See How They Live ... !!!  
    
Should Anyone REALLY Live Life Like THIS ... ??!??  
When Poverty's Reaching SO MANY Young Kids ... !!!!!  
    
It's CLEAR That They DO So What of Their Roots .... ?  
How Many Conclude That What They've Been Through ...  
ENTITLES Them To ... Riches And Jewels ... ???  
    
How Many Are Fools Who Choose To ABUSE ...  
Values They've Infused When POOR In Their Youth ... ?!?  
    
Money CANNOT Make You Smile ...    
Or Give Happiness ... Or Fulfil Your Life ... !!!  
    
Because In The End It CAN'T Give You Children ...  
Or Buy You RESPECT Or Protect You From Death ... !!!!!!!!!!  
    
I Wonder Sometimes Why People LOVE PETS ... !?!  
But Then DISRESPECT Women and Men ... ????!????  
    
What On Earth Is Their Defence ... !!!?!!!  
For Treating PETS Like Their BEST Friend ...  
Whilst Showing Support ... For New Separatist Trends ... ?!?  
    
If I Got On ALL FOURS And Started To BARK ... !!!!!  
Would People LOVE Me ... With ALL of Their Heart ... ?!?  
    
It Seems They Would ... !?!  
Well They Can KISS MY **** ... !!!!!!  
    
And I REALLY DON'T CARE What Colour You Are ... !!!!!!  
    
Things Like THESE Are Leading Us UNDER ... !!!!!  
    
Feeding Pets and Vets ...    
While PEOPLE STARVE To DEATH ... ?!?!?!?!?!  
    
MANY Are Facing PERMANENT Slumber ...  
Because of NO FOOD To FEED Their HUNGER ... !!!    
How Many Die ... Who Knows The Number ... ???  
    
Who Cares To Question Well These Days I ...  
    
......... " Wonder ??? " ........
AN EPIC, However, there are quite a few EPIC Questions in it .........
AC Sep 2016
I wonder
I wonder why
I wonder why I feel at ease

I wonder again

I wonder  what
*
I wonder what’s with you

I wonder, cause I can't help it
I wonder *how

I wonder how feelings escalated this fast

I wonder with all of these adverbs but I've got no answer. And then, I find myself asking
"Are you the one or are you the next to break my heart?"
Raquel Butler Mar 2015
You wonder why I won't stop,
But do you wonder why I ever started?
Do you ever wonder how I feel?
Do you ever wonder if I have tried?
Do you ever wonder that I have cried?
Do you ever wonder that I almost have died?
Do you ever wonder why I have survived?
Do you ever for a second wonder that I can't?
Do you ever wonder?
You wonder not.
Feeling really down today. This has been a nice release.
iambruised Oct 2016
I wonder what come across your mind
when you see me now
passing by acting like a stranger
as if we had never been in each other’s life
as if we had never grazed each other’s skin
as if we had never craved to be in each other’s side
as if I had never open up my soul for you
does it hurt you as much as it hurts me?

I wonder what come across your mind
when you are alone driving midnight
and finding the passenger seat empty
occupied by the ghost of me
‘you always take control of the audio player in every single car’.
do you just listen to the radio now?

I wonder what come across your mind
everytime you get into your car
buckle up for your ride
do you still hear the ghost of my voice telling you to put your seatbelt on?

I wonder what come across your mind
when you spend most of the nights watching movies
till 4am
losing sleep
are you suddenly reminded about how i always whine and hate when you do it

I wonder what come across your mind
when you open the backseat of your car
and find the yellow pillow that belongs to me
i used to hug it all the time
does it still smell like me?

I wonder what come across your mind
when our songs play on the radio
or the songs that I used to love
yet you hated it
do you skip the song now?

I wonder what come across your mind
when you find little things that are my belongings
like my handwriting of your name
across your books
carved it’s ink deep
on a piece of paper
leaving it’s mark
do you ever think of ripping it?

I wonder what come across your mind
when you are at the coffeeshop
that we once claimed as home
where you told me you missed me
for the first time
have you ever been there since our last time?

I wonder what come across your mind
when you look at your cup of coffee
the smell of it
and your first sip of your hot latte
does it resemble me?

I wonder what come across your mind
when you look at her
do you compare her with me?
is there anything of hers that remind you of me?

I wonder what come across your mind
when our memories suddenly surfaced
do you try to block it?
or is that the reason why you bring her
to places we used to go?

I wonder what come across your mind
when someone said my name between the conversation
do you think to yourself ‘I broke her heart’ over and over again
or
does it make your chest heavy
or
do you even care

I wonder what come across your mind
when you can not sleep at night
is there a part of me
that cross your mind?
are you sorry for ever hurting me?
are you even wondering what am I doing
or how I’m doing
do you ever meet me in your sleep
and dream of how I love you true
*do you regret for ever hurting me
i wonder if you sometimes think of me - not the way i think of you,
i know that you don't see me the way that i see you
(like you're my sun and like you hung the stars,
like you're the most beautiful thing i have ever seen)
but i sometimes wonder if i sometimes cross your mind,
i wonder if my face pops up behind your eyes,
and if you wonder if that is because I've thought of you
(if that saying was true, you would only be seeing me);
i wonder if what you see me as, and if you know that
every time i look at you, my heart wants to run away from me,
i wonder if you can see it in my blush, or if my friends have told you.
i wonder if you've ever thought what it would be like
to be in love with me. it's all i do every day, after all,
(or rather every night) to think about what we could be,
when i know, deep within me, that we never could.
i wonder if you sometimes think of me, or if
i am as far from your mind as that one boy was from mine,
the one who told me that he loved me, the one i told
that you cannot love someone from afar, not truly.
i have tried to apologise to him, but he has moved away,
and now i am him and you are me, except you are
so much more perfect than anything that i could ever be.
i know you'll never think of me the way i think of you,
i know that you could never love me the way that i do you,
i know that you could never look at me like i am
the most beautiful thing this planet has ever seen,
and i know that you are an unrequited dream.
but i wonder if you sometimes think of me - not the way i think of you,
but just at all. for all the hope i don't allow myself, i still hope you do.


cs
Alina May 2015
I wonder if you hurt like me
I wonder if you cry like me
I wonder if you go through each day with this pain
Cutting through your flesh and running through your vein.

I wonder if you hurt like me
I wonder if you cry like me
I wonder if you go through each night in despair
With our memories haunting you like a sweet nightmare.

I wonder if you dream of me too
Coz honey, I can't escape the thoughts of you
I could feel our love hanging in the air
It controls me and it's just so unfair.

I know what we had has come and gone
But I couldn't convince myself that we're done
I ceaselessly hang on every word you said to me
In hope that someday you'd realize that we're meant to be.

I wonder if you hurt like me
I wonder if you cry like me
I wonder if you know that I'm still in love with you
I wonder if you feel the same way too.
#regrets #starcrossed #lovers #broken
(I love you AJ. Always remember that...)
Christopher Apr 2017
I wonder if you think of me. I truly wonder if I'm the one you want. I wonder if I'm someone you love or just a placeholder for a past lover somehow still pursuant in your eyes. I wonder if somehow your kisses aren't meant for me. I wonder if maybe somehow your incoherent moanings are simply his name in an unintelligible commotion of conflicting feelings far too deep for me to discern. I tell the stars about you. I think maybe somehow the stars can understand how I feel about you. You have consumed me. Sometimes I wonder why you stick around because I don't think I have more to offer than this ****** up brain and this ****** up heart. I wonder if you think of me. I've spent countless hours thinking of you. I wonder if you think of me. Sometimes I'm afraid I'm nothing more than a footnote in your epilogue and your story is already written in his arms and I'm just an afterthought. Sometimes I don't understand why you stay. Sometimes i wonder if you realize how much this hurts me. Sometimes I wonder if you think of me. I think of you. Sometimes I wonder if you think of me.
Meg Goodfellow Dec 2014
I wondered if the doors in your house lock by themselves because they know you’ll be too drunk to do it later. Maybe they know you like to keep your secrets locked away behind closed doors, so you don't have to admit to them; As it is easier to explain the absent of truth when there are lies to fill in the gaps.

From a young age I learnt to appreciate silence, as your nights brought a storm of yells and screams as my mother fought with words but you fought with a bottle and a wine glass. I wonder if the man at the bottle shop knew your order before you even walked through the doors, as you became quite the regular.

I wonder if my mother went to bed and cried the night she found bottles stashed away in the attic where nobody was suppose to find them; But almost six years after you left,  there they were. Maybe closed doors weren’t enough to keep your secrets locked away so you had to hide them in the attic, among family photos and old rusted bed frames.

I wonder if the sound of slamming doors still haunt my sisters ears. For they heard you leave in drunken anger, in the dead of night, to who-knows where.

I wonder if you ever thought of coming back; But I guess alcohol acted as a better family then we ever did because at least bottles don’t think, or have feelings and broken hearts.

I wonder if you’ll ever get the smell of alcohol out of your hair or from under your skin, and I wonder if you will ever keep the promises you once made me; But I guess my calls for help were nothing more than the soundtrack of a late night television show, left on as you fell asleep on the couch; red wine staining the carpet, leaving a tattooted mark as a reminder, telling those that you’d been here.

I wonder what it felt like when you realised, as children, we once replaced you beer with milky-water because we didn’t want daddy drinking anymore; Or what about the time when we threw out your tobacco. I  remember you sent us to our rooms, and shut the door behide you.

I wonder if you remember the time we went fishing and I asked you about the ocean. You explained that the ocean was like a human mind; so beautiful and clear,  yet deep and mysterious and that if I was to learn one thing in life, it was to never judge a person at first glance because just like the surface of the ocean, they only reflect the world around them. So I never judged you. I tried to understand you, but how was I  suppose to understand you when you kept closing doors in my face and threatening me with padlocks and lost keys?

I grew up learning to place my ears against the doors of your mind and try to arrange the puzzle pieces of your thoughts in an attempt to somehow create an image; But all I got was an unfinished picture with missing pieces.

I wonder if you remember the day I stopped visiting you because it was too hard packing my feelings into a suitcase and lugging them back and forth. I often wonder if you hated it that I didn’t call your house "home" or spent most of my time there, alone, outside because I didn’t like closed doors.

I remember once I  asked you why you drank so much. You said you liked the taste. I guess you also liked the heart break that comes with it, and the loneliness.

I wonder if you remember the night you got so blinded drunk you fell alseep on your bed with your pride by your side, waiting for my memory to pick it up and throw it out the window. I wonder if you remember I turned off the radio and let the silence tuck you in and the darkness sing you lullabies. I wonder if you remember I quietly closed the door behind me as I left;
Leaving another locked door;
With a deadly secret inside.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.
Lena Waters Aug 2015
Do you ever wonder
                                  If there's love left on this Earth?

Do you ever wonder
                                  If it's been drained of mirth?

Do you ever wonder
                                  Why the world is cold and still?

Do you ever wonder
                                   Why winter lovers catch a chill?

Do you ever wonder
                                   When an adult becomes "old"?

Do you ever wonder
                                   When children grow so bold?

Do you ever wonder
                                  How skies became so grey?

Do you ever wonder
                                  How a mockingbird's young play?

Do you ever wonder?
                                  Of this I cannot see.

But I know you'll never wonder
                                                     How much you love me.
Use this if you like, with credit to me. Enjoy it!
Ruby Rose Dec 2015
I wonder
If you think about me
As much as I
Think about you

I wonder
If you could possibly love me
As much as I
Love you

I wonder
If you want me
As much as I
Want you

I wonder
If you need me
As much as I
Need you

I wonder
If you miss me
As much as I
Miss you

I wonder
If you dream about me
As often as I
Dream about you

I wonder
If you reach for me in your sleep
As often as I
Reach for you

I wonder
If you want to kiss me
As often as I
Want to kiss you

I wonder
If you daydream about the things we could be
As often as I
Daydream about us

But most of all

I wonder
If you know how many feelings I have for you
And I wonder
If you feel the same things too
Kelsey Greene Jul 2014
And I miss you.
So I wonder.
In the vast forest of my mind.
Often getting lost.
Trying to find you.

I wonder,
If you think about me.

I wonder,
If you ever wonder
About what we could have been.
Because I do.

I wonder,
If you ever think
About how different this could be.

I wonder,
If you ever wonder
That you wouldn't have to wonder
If only we would have worked out.
I do.

I get lost,
In the forest of my own mind.
And I can't help but assume
I wouldn't be lost
If only you had loved me back.
Or maybe,
If she had never asked for you back.

Now I just wonder,
Lost.
In a forest
I should know my way out of.

But I can't seem
To find my way out.
MakeAJoy May 2016
I sometimes wonder
where are we, overtime?

I sometimes wonder
why today doesn't just rhyme?

I sometimes wonder
when's the time for this to fly?

I sometimes wonder
who would be there on the line?

I sometimes wonder
what's in it that makes me stay?

I sometimes wonder
how possible is it to go away?

I sometimes wonder
would it really be this worth-keeping?

I sometimes wonder
can we both be ones worth-loving?

I sometimes wonder
about these thoughts 'til it's midnight

I sometimes wonder
about us and will this turn right

I sometimes wonder
if you wonder 'bout them too

I sometimes wonder
if this love could save us two.
With these thoughts, I think about you, too.
John Velasco Sep 2016
I wonder
I wonder
I wonder
I wonder

And I wonder
I wonder
I wonder
I wonder

I wonder
I wonder

If she wonders
I wonder
Imraan Mohamed Jun 2015
I wonder what they look like,
All these fancy new men.
I wonder what they sound like,
Rolling compliments off their tongues.

I wonder what they think,
When they see you cross their path.
Do they marvel at your radiance,
Or hunger to feel your fire.

I wonder if you blush,
When they tell you the things you want to hear.
Does your heart flutter intensely,
Do your fingers feel a tingle.

I wonder what they taste like,
On your pale cool lips.
I wonder if you're warm,
Locked in their embrace.

It starts to hurt when I wonder,
How they achieved this feat.
To experience with you in a matter of moments,
What I could after years.

I wonder how you do it.
I wonder why I care.
I wonder if the girl I loved,
Is still there.
Hank Love May 2020
I was so caught up
In everything I forgot
Wondering who I am
And who I'm not

And somewhere in between
Here and now I lost my way
So listen close
I got something to say

I'm not going back
I'm not turning around
Start picking me up
Instead of dragging me down
Yeah I wonder I wonder
If things look better
This time around

Stop telling me lies I'll be okay
I'm just passing through
I'm not here to stay
Yeah I wonder I wonder
If things look better
This time around

Starting making my way back
To how it was before
I got side tracked
On the day you walked out that door

Yeah I remember it
Just like it was yesterday
Things looked different
Than they are today

I'm not going back
I'm not turning around
Start picking me up
Instead of dragging me down
Yeah I wonder I wonder
If things look better
This time around

Stop telling me lies I'll be okay
I'm just passing through
I'm not here to stay
Yeah I wonder I wonder
If things look better
This time around

Start picking me up
Stop dragging me down
I wonder I wonder

Stop telling me lies
I'm not here to stay
I wonder I wonder

I'm not going back
I'm not turning around
Start picking me up
Instead of dragging me down
Yeah I wonder I wonder
If things look better
This time around

Stop telling me lies I'll be okay
I'm just passing through
I'm not here to stay
Yeah I wonder I wonder
If things look better
This time around
Sag Oct 2015
The stars
The smoke
The silhouettes of the trees
The fog floating just above the ground
Making suburban houses on the horizon look like the pyramids in the distance
The soft snores from the now sleeping once silently staring boy laying on the grass beside me
I don't want to wake his slumber
He seems at peace and I find comfort in the outside sounds of his dreams and the crispness of the way his arm brushes the dirt when he turns and how the position of body resembles a corpse with crossed ankles and fingers draped over his chest
It's dark but I can make out the rise and fall of his breaths
It's getting cooler and the crickets chirp louder and the songs on my playlist start and end and start again
And it's so serene
It's so serene.

I wonder how long the stars captivated him before they serenaded him with twinkling lullabies
I wonder how he interpreted my silence or if he noticed it
I wonder if he's the type to notice things like that
I like to think he is.
One of those people who can lay next to you in the grass and look up at the stars and communicate the contentedness silently
I wonder if he felt it
I wonder if he heard my harmonies


I wonder how warm your bed is right now.
I wonder if you're happy you've got all that empty space to stretch your limbs like a starfish on the sheets.
I wonder if you snore.
I wonder what our pillow talk would sound like right now.
I wonder if we'd even pillow talk right now.


I wonder what time the sun rises this morning.
It must be just a few hours away.
I wonder if you're still awake.

I wonder where it goes when you're not surrounded by it.
J Oct 2014
I always wonder
if you were lying to me
when you said that
your house burned down.

I always wonder
if you really meant it
when you said that
you loved me.

I always wonder
why I am still thinking
about you
because
you ruined my life.

I always wonder
if you knew that
you robbed me.

I always wonder
if you really understood
how ******* up
our relationship was.

I always wonder
if you knew
that your words
hurt me.

I always wonder
if you knew
how much pain you inflicted on me.

I always wonder
if you understood
that I couldn't leave you
alone.

I always wonder
if you realized
that you forced me
to stay.

I always wonder
if you ever really understood
you,
me,
us,
at all?
This is the first time I've ever publicly shared about how much I hate my ex and how badly I was treated.
Jessica Jarvis May 2018
I wonder what it’s like to be a balloon.

I wonder what it’s like to be let go in the middle of the night.

I wonder what it’s like to float until I become one of the stars.

I wonder what it’s like to become so indistinguishable that I disappear.

I wonder what it’s like to ascend through the atmosphere so independently and infinitely high.

I wonder what it’s like to drag that coarsely iridescent ribbon to those heights.

I wonder what it’s like to succumb to the pressure inflicted on my epidermis, causing me to suddenly pop.

I wonder what it’s like to feel that reverberating ripple across my skin as I disperse into handfuls of geometric tears.

I wonder what it’s like to float so high, unrecognizable, only to fall apart.

I wonder how painful it is to be a balloon.

I wonder what it’s like to be a balloon.
5/8/2018

Backstory time... I was in Disneyland on the evening I wrote this, waiting for the nighttime fireworks. A child must have let go of his or her balloon because there it was, flying through the air... My first thought was, “That little white balloon probably cost the parents $15-$20...”. My second thought was, “I wonder what it’s like to be a balloon...”. So... I wrote this.
I sit alone
In this dark cold room
Listening through the wall
Of your angry screams

I don't know why I keep doing wrong
I don't know why I can't control myself
I don't know why you always scream at me

You wonder why
I've become so numb
You wonder why
My silence is deafening
You wonder why
I'm a soulless cold monster

In my bed
I just can't seem to rest
Screaming silently
At all this violence

I don't know what I am
I don't know what I did so wrong
I don't know what to do when you scream at me again and again

You wonder why
I've become so numb
You wonder why
My silence is deafening
You wonder why
I'm a soulless cold monster

In my room
Wishing I could punch the wall
Wishing I could just runaway
From all this pain and misery

I don't know how I stopped fighting
I don't know how you keep killing me
I don't know how I got this way

You wonder why
I'm so empty
You wonder why
My silence is screaming
You wonder why
I'm this soulless cold monster

This soulless cold monster
You wonder why I'm soulless
You wonder why I'm so cold
(It's all your fault.)
lkdl May 2015
I feel your skin,
And taste your lips,
I see your eyes,
I hear your words,
I smell your hair,
You always linger on my clothes,
I hear your steps,
Walk along an empty broken road,
I hear your voice faintly yell,
My name,  
I think that's where I'll go,
I rush and run,
Wait for me,
I say,
Don't leave me behind,
I don't know what I'll do,
If you say you're not mine,
Look at your watch,
It's not time to go,
Just wait a little longer,
I'll come home soon,
This poem is a *******,
And I can't help but cry,
I can't help, but wonder why.
I wonder how much time you got,
And wonder if I steal some,
I wonder how long you'll stay,
On my empty path,
Full of cracks and shatters,
I wonder if you smell me when you're home alone,
Or if you hear my voice,
Laughing at what you'd think I'd find funny,
I wonder if every song reminds you of me,
I wonder if you think of me while doing laundry,
I wonder if I'm constant thought,
Or an occasional event,
I wonder if you want to scream my name,
When you break a dish,
I wonder if you touch your lips,
While thinking there's something amiss,
I wonder if you picture me in bed,
With me wrapped around your arms,
Do you want to be wrapped around mine?
Because that's fine,
More than fine with me.
I've felt your skin,
And tasted your lips,
I've seen your eyes,
And now I wonder why,
I heard your words,
And smelled your hair,
But now wonder why you linger there,
I hear your steps,
Walk along an empty broken road,
I hear your voice faintly yell,
My name,
Yet there's no one when I turn,
I'm going crazy,
That must be it,
It has to be a lie,
But for once,
I actually thought someone might have wanted me in their life.
J Jul 2013
I wonder if you cried when I wrote "I hate mom" on that piece of notebook paper, when you made me mad for that thing I don't remember.

I wonder if you cried when I told you I didn't want you to come to my birthday party, because big girls didn't need their moms to watch over them.

I wonder if you cried when I yelled at you for trying to keep me away from the girls that used swear words, because you could trust me to know better at my wise age of thirteen.

I wonder if you cried when I replaced the "Mommy-Daughter" days with "Shut the door on your way out" days.

I wonder if you cried when I told you I would never come back when I finally moved out.
I wonder if you cried when I told you that I've smoked  ***.

I wonder if you cried when I hugged you for the first time in over 3 years, without being forced.

I wonder if you cried when I told you I needed you, even if I didn't always act like it.

I wonder if you cried when I told you that you were the person I loved most in the world.

I wonder if you've cried, mom, because I've only ever seen you smile.
The Black Beast Mar 2013
The time my eyes,
Had first set sight,
On the wonder that you are,
So full was I,
Full of delight,
At the wonder that you are.

My head so weak,
My heart so strong,
For the wonder that you are,
I have tried to seek,
For something wrong,
In the wonder that you are.

My heart now hums,
Now when it sees,
All the wonder that you are,
The feeling comes,
And gives wobbly knees
At the wonder that you are.

I want to know,
What I would feel,
To be the wonder that you are,
I wish all but a foe,
Would come and kneel,
To the wonder that you are.

I know the pain,
that’s caused by me,
not the wonder that you are,
not said in vain,
but I wish I could be,
with the wonder that you are.
ARI Sep 2015
Every penny looks the same
When you find it on the street.
Scratches cover its surface;
Unknown junk makes it unclean.

I wonder who was the first to use it
I wonder whose hands had held it close
I wonder where that one penny has traveled
I wonder who let it go.

Every beggar looks the same
When you find them on the street.
Scratches cover their surface;
Unknown junk makes them unclean.

I wonder who was the first to meet him
I wonder whose hands had held her close.
I wonder where that beggar traveled
I wonder who let them go.

Every girl looks the same
When you find her on the street.
Scratches cover her surface;
Unknown hands make her unclean.

I wonder who was the first to hurt her
I wonder whose arms had held her close
I wonder if that girl would travel
I wonder why she doesn’t go.

-ARI
eIectrifying Aug 2013
it's 8:19 pm on a friday night
and i'm inside wondering about everything not human
i wonder if butterflies have social calendars
and if any of them are ever left out by their counterparts
or if blades of grass have issues with their parents
and if their father tells them they better straighten up
or else they'll be cut to bits by the lawn mower
or perhaps if the moon has anxiety
over all the little things it illuminates
during the dark hours of the night
maybe the tide feels uneasy
washing away shattered dreams
and long forgotten kisses
that have been shared upon its shores
i wonder if bumblebees really care about anything
other than collecting pollen
or if all they really want
is to come home and let their wings rest
for maybe just a minute
maybe birds care for more than just their children
and finding food and shelter for the day
i wonder if they ever have disputed with each other
or ever look down upon us humans
and wonder why we're leading lives
we don't want to lead
you see i wonder if everything on this earth
that's not a human being
wonders about us
about why we care so much
and perhaps why we care too little
i wonder if they notice the pain that emanates from our hearts
i wonder if they can feel the slow drag in our step
i wonder if they know
that we would rather be anything
other than ourselves
i wonder
I wonder if you have ever looked around
and noticed that it’s all burning to the ground.
I wonder if you noticed yourself light the match
I wonder if you purposely locked the latch
so that we would all burn inside.
I wonder if you even cried.
I wonder if the gasoline stained your clothes

I wonder if maybe you’re in one of your lows.
I wonder if you see that the hug you’re giving
is really your hands around my neck.
I wonder how much longer I’ll be living.

I wonder if you see how much of my life is a wreck
I wonder if you know that you’re to blame,
And I wonder, if you look at your own life and feel the same.
I wrote this when I was tired of certain people in my life who were very manipulative.

— The End —