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Willoughby Oct 2018
Sorry sir, there's a 15 minute wait for a table.  "I'm Willoughby **** it, I wait for no one"!

    Sorry mister ,we're all out of that item.  " I'm Willoughby, I write poetry on All Poetry".

   Sorry, we're closed. " I'm Willoughby, I'm insulted.  I've killed for less".

That numbers been disconnected.  " Don't you know who I am? I'm Willoughby.  Willoughby!!  Do I have to spell it out to you?  I have a pet rat, clean toilets, and live in the basement of a luxury high-rise building.  Doesn't that account for anything"?

We're the I.R.S.  You haven't paid taxes in five years.  "Who in the **** do you think your talking to?  Well I'm Willoughby.  That trumps everything and all.  Away with you"!

Your sentenced to five years in prison for not paying your taxes.  Court adjourned. " How dare you judge me judge me judge me... judge.  After all, I'm Willoughby".

...and you'll stay in solitary confinement till you behave.  
Sob, cry... but I'm Willoughby.. moan...Willoughby...cry...Willoughby...
Willoughby Nov 2018
Welcome to the con!  The con starts with the author, Dr. Seuss.

He's no doctor.  And that's a fact (and no it's not the only truthful

thing in this diatribe of mine).  He used the doctor moniker to

sell more books!

       That guy in the book pestering the other guy to try "Green

Eggs and Ham"? Turns out to be the ham and egg salesman,

Sam I Am.

  It's a motivational selling "won't take no for an answer"

how to sell book disguised as children's literature.

    And Sam I Am is psychotically relentless in his pursuit of a

sale.  He needs a restraining order slapped on his ***.

                   "Would you eat them in a box? Would
                    you eat them with a fox. Would you eat
                    them with a goat.  Would you eat them on a
                     boat".  Would you eat green eggs and ham,
                    would you eat them Sam I Am?     

                                                       ­            Dr. Seuss

And on and on. Sam I Am goes stalking him from page to page.


    I had a friend of mine, Mustard Joe, ex war veteran with more

than twenty kills (you don't even want to know the things he's

seen) take a look into this green eggs and ham food source that

Sam I Am is pushing so hard.  Here are some of the ingredients

he may or may not have found.
             Ham   --        30 grams of sugar (questionable )
                         --       15 grams of caffeine (untested)                               
Green eggs   --          Trace amounts of nicotine ( not verified)
                        --          Handfuls of ******* (rumored)

As you can see, It's not an exact science.

People. When eggs turn green, that's mother nature trying to

warn you that your food has gone bad.

   But in the end, Sam I Am gets the fool to finally try the green

eggs and ham and he absolutely loves it.  Maybe the books lesson  

is about to not be afraid about things you don't understand or

never tried. But I still believe there is insidious deception and

evil in the book. I have to think that way.  Because after all -- I'm

Willoughby !!
Next month I explore the possibility that the book, " Everyone Poops", is a racist metaphor.

— The End —