Sometimes I think your mind is an ocean,
A deep blue sea of emotion.
The waves of fear grow tall only to come crashing down,
And fill your thoughts with unease as you drown.

Sometimes I think your mind is a fire,
Your thoughts burn furiously with desire.
Desperate to let go of the self-doubt you hold,
That you burn to black the hope that used to be gold

Sometime I think your mind is a storm,
Where harmless actions maliciously transform.
What used to be part of your routine,
Is an action that paralyses you when you dream.

I see your war,
And I want to help you fight.
I want to see you roar,
I want to help you see the light.

I can see you’re terrified,
But I will remain by your side.
I want to help you but you're trying to hide,
Hide from your own mind.

Because your thoughts are oh so haunting,
But hold my hand and they will seem less daunting.
I know you're stronger than anyone can comprehend,
Strong enough to seek help and allow you to mend.

This is a long road you have to walk,
But you never have to walk it alone.
If you need a distraction then I’ll be the one to talk,
I’ll talk to you the whole way home.

He’s saying,
As long as you stay, you can leave as you please

He’s saying,
As long as you return to me by sunrise, you can run free at midnight
Saying nothing When I come home by daylight, just as long as it seems we are together in public eyes.

Games we play are pure Deceptions.
I’m in home sweet prison, we are papered bind, chained by delusions and lies. Our love is like doing time and even though he senses the unhappiness on my mind, he says to me all the time “you will be alright”

"I do" was my crime. Our child is the paying fine. So I’m Akon "Locked up" until He closes his eyes. He hears when I sneak out, so even he sleeps with one eye open, towards my unfaithful behavior. He Pretends to be blind.

Im Trained to be home momentarily. Agreeing to be in his detentions temporarily.
For when he met me my love was untameable widly desired to be spirited and free

But he refuses my request to be free. He holds on tight and that’s even if it’s killing me.

So when he senses my  surpressive screams to finally leave. He will rush to leave out the set of keys. Within my arms reach. by my bar side intentionally. because he knows my desire to run yet in need of a safe home.  he holds  the keys.  Giving me a copy version to be free.

And If I don't return like we lawfully agreed, The punishment of manipulation will be black hole deep. He will catch me and emotionally blackmail me. Verbally put on the handcuffs, steal away my keys.
appoint me to the critical  judge, reminding me he’s the man who holds my Keys to leave.

Presenting my  past and mistakes to the courthouse packed with tyrants, which will be past me's. Deferment my character, rule me as guilty. Killing my spirit by Belittling my dreams. Crying that I attempted ******. attempting to **** him. for attempting to steal me.

He won. Victimized and trapped I return to my cell.
After verabally placing on the black and white strips and putting me through hell.

handcuffs on tight, game face on right,
He taunts me with tactics all day and night......

30 days of his controll, guilt trip complete.
He surprises me with kind  gesture and ask how bad do you want to be free?

He plays with sound of jingling keys, a melody that sounds good to me
Next to my Bar side, He finally placed down my set of keys
And reminds me,
That as long as you return here by sunrise, you are free to leave

When you tell someone
When you say it
The first time
And every time after
You got to say it
With a big aching
*******
Not just a hard ****
Your whole ******* heart
Better be hard
So ******* hard
The slightest touch just
May shatter it into a million
Tiny fragments
It has to be hard and
Pulsating
Ready to explode
And seep with life
And horrible painful
White hot sticky love
It can't be half limp
It can't be hardly beating
Or just beating at
A normal pace
It has to be harder
Than rock
It better be beating
Hard and quick
So quick its just a blur
Loud and pounding
All night and through
The morning
And not just on the good days
And hot sweaty nights
It has to stay hard
In ice cold waters
On days of dark despair
Through hours of tears
Through the painful silence
When lost in the middle of the storm
And thunder
Of acid rain and razor tounge lightning
Its got to stay hard
When your soul goes numb
When the heart feels dead
When all hope seems lost
It has to stay hard
When it feels its most alone
It has to survive
In the empty space
Of noise and confusion
When everything
Is rough and cuts you
With every touch
When the easiest thing
To do is to give up and
Walk away
Its gotta stay hard
And hold ground
No matter how difficult
It is to do so
Its gotta bare the teeth
Of madness bitting
Down on it
Because it is
Madness
Stark raving lunatic
Madness
And if you can't do that
All of that
If it doesn't burn
And ache in your throart
Before you say it
While you say it
After you say it
Then why say it
Because if its coming
Out of a hard pounding heart
Its going to burn
With your every thought
Your every breath
It should scare the living
Crap outta you
To say it
Because it feels so *******
Good just to think it
To have it there in your head
Sleeping in your dreams
Pounding again and again
In your heart
Your hard hard heart
When those three words
Pass through your trembling lips
The first time and every time after
You gotta say it with a *******
You gotta speak them true
In hushed screams
And long loud whispers
Echos of moans to the moon
That come burning back down
To earth ready to plummet
And crash into madness
When your ready to say it
You won't be ready
You'll have to hold the knife
To your own throat
To keep yourself from running away
Because your scared to death
You'll die if you say it out loud
And that is exactly when
You have to say it
Let the words boil in your belly
Let them churn widly in your gut
Let the crazy burn in your throat
And then with your big aching
Hard heart
Say those ******* beautiful painful
Hard words
Say it...

*I LOVE YOU

Will I ever recover from my own betrayal
Will I ever learn the lesson without leaving a trail
Will I ever shield my heart against feelings that need be tamed
Will I ever find someone widly into me without driving myself insane

I can't hide how I feel on the inside
Its unfair to myself to lead a stray path
I can't help but lose control and let my mind wonder off
It's unlikely she feels the same but here I am in front of her gate

We spend time together it feels great
Until I'm alone and realise this is not fate
I'm stuck in a ticking time bomb destruction well in place
I cannot face the reality that she does not feel the same

Lately it feels as though we've grown closer
My mind is open my conscious is unclear
I cannot bring myself to accept my fears
Rejection isn't painful it's the after tears

And so I lay here in my bed feeling a bit blue
Thinking of all the scenarios on how to get you
Wrestling my feelings that cause me pain
I know one day things could change but for now all I feel is shame


In these words I speak they come to me like a breeze
You put me in a craze and I'm lost for days
I'm trying to get over you but still in a haze
Counting down the hours till I'm locked in your cage

Just to hear the words you relay to me
Resonate with my heart as it beats
To the point I can't take it anymore
It's taken all I've got not to feel some more

A chance she didn't give me one I'd surely *****
All the broken pieces scattered around the room
I saw my own reflection and immediately felt gloom
It's hard to find the glue to put together something that's not true

The words feel great because she is my muse
I'm wrecking my brain somehow I feel abused
I'm still amused at how she makes me smile
The whole time I just want to her to be mine

I don't often fit in but there is a place
Here in my heart were she makes me feel great
I can't deal with the pace it's moving too fast
So I'd rather be in a space were my eyes are closed and I feel safe

Hey you, yes you the ***** in the red Jetta
Rather get a cab walk run it will be betta
What are you doing are you totally insane
Driving behind you is an endless pain

I cant over take you cause you cant decide
Can't go around you and no where to hide
Should you pull left or stay to the right
Holding my anger is becoming a fight

Just stay calm while my searing I bite
Like other ding bats he has the right
To buy a licence to drive a car
Like so many drivers he makes me naar

Now here comes a robot and look it is red
I watch in horror are you gonna stop dead
What are you doing look infront I yell
You nut case you idiot myself I do tell

Not throwing a fit is taking all my resistance
It takes my fast thinking to keep my distance
He breaks and he swerve and sways to the right
I say a quick pray as I gasp with fright

Head on into traffic thats coming his way
This way and that he swerves and sways
Oh wait a minute he dodge the Van
And the kids on the pavement left and right ran

Just missed the buss and a bush and a tree
Whippy I'm luck his back infront of me
Screeching and screaming and coming to a halt
He looks and he smiles like nothing's his fault

Others around him look on in dismay
As I think you idiot, you made it hooray
And away we go were on our way
I think should I drive or should I stay

Not even a second a metre a head
He comes to a halt and stops dead
Looking around like his lost or confused
Now I am irritated I'm not amused

What is he looking for what indeed
I scream to my self, with my self I plead
Oh it's a phone call its become so intense
We are all waiting move along no offence

If I should get out and my lid I should blow
I want you to listen I want you to know
I'll loose my insanity I'll rip of your door
I'll beat you black and blue and extensively sore

Oh thank crap the ****** bags on his way
This is starting out as a horrific day
He just keeps chatting and babbling along
Why can't he see what his doing is wrong

The guy in the Audi is ranting and raging
The guy in the Opel is totally fuming
The little old lady just looks on with confusion
This guy is living in a mental dilution

I look on intensely what could be next
I try to keep calm and put my nerves to rest
Wait a second what did he see
Ah come on man not again I plea

The chop just woke up and realised
He should of been on the other side
That was the street that he needed to take
Oh please help me for pity's sake

The little old lady on his left saw it to
She looks frightened and turns pail blue
I just look on and I think to myself
This cant be good for her mind and health

On goes the hazards and he darts to the left
The ******* around me are making me deaf
The guy in the Audi has lost his cool
He thew a spanner or some other tool

The guy in the Jetta drives happily along
Sing away to some lively song
He seems oblivious with out any care
That the little old lady is pulling out her hair

She looks like she had a seize of sort
Shaking and screaming like bull she snorts
The guy in the Audi is 5 shades of red
But the guy in the Jetta keeps moving a head

Out of the blue who knows from where
His moving along with no worry or care
Appears a stop sign in front of his car
He hits the breaks and skids on the tar

The little old lady pink buggy and all
Rolls up tightly into a little ball
How she missed him I'll never know
She quietly sits there with an evil glow

To my dismay she opens her door
And falls to her knees just there on the floor
The guy in the Jetta gives a big smile
As the little old lady falls down in a pile

She's kicking and screaming and going insane
She's up in an instant and out with her cane
She fly's at the guy sitting as stiff as can be
Eyes bulging widly this **** you should see

He lets out a scream like a ***** been attacked
And jumps on his pedal and doesn't look back
His over the stop street and round the next bend
I just pray I'll never see him agen

I look at the lady who looks back at me
Oh what a pittyfull site did I see
She was a mess and her hair was a tangled
Eyes where a flamed and her dress was mangled

She put on a smile and she straightened her hair
Brushed of her dresses and did it with flare
She turn on her heel as she head for her car
This was one of my worst days by far