I could **** you for what you've done to me...
You tried to take it all away from me.
You drove me insane from the day I was born...
But now I'm about to DIE and you feel sorry for no one... But... You.

YOU *****, WHYD YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT ALL AWAY?
YOU WERE THE CAUSE FOR ALL OF MY PAIN & SUFFERING
But now I'm gone and there's no more "trouble" for your case...
BUT YOU NEVER ******* CARED IN THE FIRST ******* PLACE!!!!

You never really cared about me...
All you cared about was your men and your, ecstasy.
But now your actions are taking hold of me.
So stop pretending... To... Care.

YOU *****, WHYD YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT ALL AWAY?
YOU WERE THE CAUSE FOR ALL OF MY PAIN & SUFFERING
But now I'm gone and there's no more "trouble" for your case...
BUT YOU NEVER ******* CARED IN THE FIRST ******* PLACE!!!!

You never saw it coming...
You never felt MY PAIN!!!
IT WILL ALL BE OVER "TOO SOON"
LOCKED UP INSIDE MY MIND!!!!!
THE CUTS ON MY WRISTS
THE BLACK ON MY EYES
DID IT EVER COME TO YOU AS A SURPRISE?!?!?!

I could **** you for what you've done to me.
You took it all away from me...
You took my brother, my best friend, and now my life,
BUT NOW IM DEAD - IM PAST BEING SICK OF THE FIGHTS...
I just thought - maybe I could have won...
But now - I hope for you - NOTHING.
IM DONE.

YOU *****, WHYD YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT ALL AWAY?
YOU WERE THE CAUSE FOR ALL OF MY PAIN & SUFFERING
But now I'm gone and there's no more "trouble" for your case...
BUT YOU NEVER ******* CARED IN THE FIRST ******* PLACE!!!!
YOU *****, WHYD YOU HAVE TO TAKE IT ALL AWAY?
YOU WERE THE CAUSE FOR ALL OF MY PAIN & SUFFERING
But now I'm gone and there's no more "trouble" for your case...
BUT YOU NEVER ******* CARED IN THE FIRST ******* PLACE!!!!

you found her
lost and insecure
her pale skin shimmering
just laying there

just a moment to late
whyd you have to wait
to find her
the clock just stopped
the tears just dried

you dont know why
you cant keep your eyes off her
you dont know where to go from here
cause it was you and her
for always and after
but just a moment to late
why did you have to wait

everything she did was beautiful
every smile glowed
every laugh warmed your soul
everything about her was perfection

whyd you have to wait
you were a moment to late
you cant keep your eyes off of her

you cant move
scared to miss the lies
hoping this is a dream
hoping to break the ties

whyd you have to wait
you were here a moment to late
starring at her body
laying on the floor
full of sorrow
why did you not listen for the screams
how could you not hear the sobs

nothings forever
except when you look at her
you cant take your eyes off her
you know once you do
it will be the last time you see her.

Just then does the pain take over.
As you fall to your knees.

Im done with your *******
I hope you know i dont care
Cough your blood up elsewhere
Smoke your ****
Pull her hair
I dont need your incessant *******
I dont want you to say you love me
I gave up on your ***
When arctic monkeys spoke our nothing

I'm sorry boo
I never meant to
Couldn't forsee this happening

Oh god what have I done?
Am I unfaithful...

Thats been on my mind this past couple of hours
I didnt mean to say what I did
Was trying to be nice and friendly
Trying to brighten their mood
I wasnt looking for love
I have you
Right?
You'll stay here right?
I'm scared...
Terrified
Petrified
Mortified

What have I done
Am I unfaithful...

I cant live with myself
Whyd i act in such a way
What's wrong with me
The voices they scream inside
Someone please help me
I've dishonored myself
My character
My partner and
my morales

if you loved me
whyd you leave me

if i loved you
whyd i let you

whyd you save me
only to leave me

Surrender aint no option for ****** who's head noddin'
to ignorance which is bliss
man, arn't ya'll sick of this?
I mean whyd ya'll go to college
Just to throw out all the knowledge
You were broke when you got it
replenished then you forgot it
like **** the ****** who taught it
...
Brain Dead
Corporate schemes
will take whichever means necessary to make their money
which means selling cancer in a stick is fair game
as long as the public is willing to stay tame
One of the leading causes of death.
I know we could stop it just surprising that we haven't yet
so why **** our own for murders that they committed
when the government is knowingly killing the population that it represents
They're just a reflection to what we allow ourselves to be
Ignorant
...
Celibate
to scared to take that step
united as a country
because in this story
there are plenty that are speaking
but nobody will listen
meanwhile generations that are to come
like my brother, the little one
will face the challenge we've all encountered
to either smoke or pass
and I hope when that times comes
he'll be able to answer his peers
and say he's time is done
before it even started...
[Learn Something...]

I let my arms fall like a ****** addict after his last dose
giving in to making myself feel better by sacrificing my physical body is nothing new to me
how can a ten year old girl relate to a druggie on an emotional level like he isn't her dad or anything
relatives are always there to break the thought of forgetting you aren’t as pretty as you think
have you gained a few pounds
whyd you dye your hair that color
who let you out of the house like that
does your mother look at you in the morning
doesn’t anyone else have the nerve to tell you everything you are is not good enough
you attract the wrong people
you are too emotional
too loud
too quiet
too weird
too scarred
no one cares about your problems stop shoving them down people’s throats
but somehow
I always end up the one gagging

Tears behind her eyes
Moisture between her thighs
She clenches hard at the wet bed sheets

Thrusting through his lies
She tried to stay quiet
Because he told her not to make a peep

He said
"Dont tell your mother and
Dont alarm the public"
He made her believe she was wrong

"No one will believe you
Or ill make sure no one ever sees you
If you tell then youll be gone"

She questioned if god was ever listening
Or whyd he make it happen
Or does he even exist

But just know god is always watching
And something bads gonna happen
To the man that took her innocense.

Years later
shes all grown up
But has issues trusting men

She watched on tv
That a man of 43
Was murdered once again

She got on knee
And thanked him
for him even to bother

"Its been a long time
Wasnt sure you was there
But thank you
For punishing my father"

Mom cant you see
I’m dying here I can’t breathe
I can’t speak
You can’t see it in my eyes
Please I am begging
Save my life

How can you stroke my hair
When in my mind
There’s nothing there

I think my jaws glued shut
Im crawling on the ground
Whyd you turn the music up

Please mom can’t you see?
Then I woke up.
******* my mind.

I SIT HERE LOOKING OUT MY LONELY WINDOW.
TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHATS THE NEXT PLACE TO GO.
I KNOW YOU WONDER WHATS GONE HAPPEN NEXT.
CUZ YOU DONT WANT IT TO BE MEANINGLESS.
COMPARED TO ME ITS YOU VS. THE WORLD.
ITS LIKE COMPARING PLASTIC TO A PEARL.
WITH ME ITS THE RICH & THE POOR.
AND IM TRYING 2 FIGURE OUT WHYD IT HAPPEN 2 ME AND WHERE DID I END UP IN THIS POINTLESS CATEGORY.

If I'm really meant to be alone
Then I wish I'd just become a ghost.
Time wouldn't feel so hurried
And I'd get to see how you feel when your eyes are closed.

If I'm really meant to be a ghost
Then I wonder if they miss me.
I wonder if I haunt them
Or if they pretend they were dreaming.

If they were meant to miss me
I wonder do they really?
I wish I was dreaming with them
And the sky was our ceiling.

If they really do,
Then how did everything crumble,
How was I left for dead
Whyd they leave me when I stumbled?

If it was meant to crumble
Then I hope to see the good in this.
I know there's a reason,
But from my perspective, I can't see it.

If there is good in this
Then I hope I can shed
All this dead skin while they're happy.
And I'm wishing I were dead.

swalow that pill
like you swallow your feelings
fall down the hill
punch the wall
so it hurts as much as your chest
bruise because it feels better
because you can touch the pain that way
ride the rollercoaster down
and down
like its never going to break
and thats all it would take to be
over
and thats all youd want right now
instead of the continous fall
so tell me this
what did i do
whyd you go
when before you said you wanted to kiss me

the first hour
all i could do
was think about him.
i would think about
how cold it is outside
and i wonder what my dads doing right now
was it hot or just warm
i mean it is the middle of may
and
what happend to **** barbaras fiancee
whyd they part?
id think about when the wifi connection'll get up and running
because i want to post this on my page successfully

the second hour
all i could think about
was him again.
what was he doing now.
did he miss me?
its so rainy and windy outside the plane
what if there's tubulence and i never see him again..
id think about him
then his little brother
then his dad
then Edgar.
ugh when that word comes out
it has an automatic ****** connotation to it
Edgar
ugh i really ha-disliked that man.
whyd he dislike me so much?
he wont even look at me

the third hour
its seven from where im from
and where im going its
four o clock
how does time work like that?
who came up with that?
so is it that if youre on the eastern side of the country
and you had an argument
and you travel to the western side
was it as if it never happened?
of course not so then
why
why is everything so complicated?
thats a generic question for sure.

the fourth hour
gosh this aircraft is small
so miniscule compared to the world
isnt it so odd that some people seem so prideful and big while seen from outer space in a plane
the plane looks like a moving ant
a moving ant to us
and as kids
we'd slowly torture them under a
microscope
on those extra hot days.
oh the days

the fifth hour
isnt it terrible
to be torn between two people?
forced to make a decision
about whos better
or whos more this and that.
the only dilemmas that i have are
choosing between
nutella or whipped cream
if i was still nine.
things just get more complicated as time progresses inevitably.

the sixth hour
we'll be making our descent soon
well hasnt this been an interesting ride.
now i know to never ever sit with
riley on an airplane
ever.

goodness gracious me oh my
you were so much funnier when alive

theres nothing thats been better
nothing ever better than
seein you smile

goodness gracious me oh my
ive forgotten how to be alive

one foot besides the other
therell never be another
light like you

goodness gracious me oh my
why does it all feel like a lie

the boatman and his laughter
two coins to send you after
sail on by

whyd you have to leave me behind
your legacy your love
to keep me company

theres nothing ever better
nothing thats been better than
seein you smile

goodbye

I'm never alone
Just taking my time
Theres more than me in my mind
Feeling like my life isn't mine

Time to head outside for once
I don't even know why
Theres things out there
Walking on two legs

Screaming at me, looking at me
Do this, do that
Go here, go there
Cant be myself, gotta blend in

I'm never alone
Just taking my time
Theres more than me in my mind
Feeling like my life isn't mine

I don't wanna be alive
I just go right now
Go into the sky one day
Where I'll learn to fly

Oh dear, whyd feel like this
Come here, right now
Let me hold you, kiss you
Keep you safe forever in my arms

I'm never alone
Just taking my time
Theres more than me in my mind
Feeling like my life isn't mine

And it's the first kiss after a heartbreak
The first breathe after drowning
Being alive, being here right now
Don't leave right now

Love is a prize, a privilege
Its anything you can imagine
But it feels the same
Like this here, this second

I wanna be alive
I finally wanna be alive
Just never let go, never let go
We'll be alive, we'll be alive

I drove away to another place
All I see is your face
The astetic of your touch on my skin
Gave me the chills
My core shakes in your presence
And I can feel a tingle

Whyd you look at me that way
I never though of you before this way

Have you thought of me too
Do I give you chills ?
Are you just hiding it a little too well ?

Or have I drove myself away too far
Have I reached the stars with my own misconception
My own thoughts my own wishes my own fairytale ..

Or did you leave the trail ?

I know I don't call
I had to give you distance

I still pray for you at night
Your family is still here

I gotta do whats best for her and I
Even if it hurts

Whyd you have to get strung out

Sometimes I get a little hard to handle, and I cry so much
I bet you think it’s a game,
but when it comes down to the truth,
this fairytale I’ve held onto, it’s always me and you
and I still feel the love you give me,
every day.

So why’d I make you beg me to stay,
Why’d I make you tell me all the things
I never even say-
why’d I make you come undone, like we’d had our run,
As if everything you mean to me could fade…
whyd I make you beg me to stay..

Love I can’t tell you how it hurt to hear
my own words sink in, cut so clear.
Couldn’t see I was losing me
inside my fears.
I doubted myself and every promise I’d hear, because I knew deep down
that hurt you so bad,
and I couldn’t imagine you ever wanting me back.
But you didn’t push away,
you only begged me to stay.

Now the entire world can watch as
I treat you like gold,
‘cause I’m keeping you always,
you’re my love to hold.
Because I need your arms, your tender touch,
that voice just for me, saying I love you so much.
It went unearned, but you held me anyway.
and I still feel your love,
every day.
Baby, thanks for begging me to stay.

My lips brush upon your cheeks
tasting the salt of your tears
i wish i could take the burdens you bare
banish them from your shoulders
the pain of watching you hurt
the guilt that burns my very soul
to a crisp
knowing i caused this
the sad tears falling from your broken eyes
the weight keeping you from standing
its all because of me
Whyd i dare speak those three words
"I love you"
they felt so true
but...
im sorry

my left heel itches
i wish you never texted me what you did
that one afternoon freshman year
when i was in the library
i looked at my tiny phone with clammy hands
my clear nails glistening
and i could almost taste the warm light streaming in from the window above the nonfiction shelf
feeding my face
i didn’t eat at all that day

i loved you
but i didn’t want you to say it..

whyd you say it

Dear Anna,

Whyd you leave?
Because you could for-see
the exceptions they had for me?
Or was it because you wanted to live life free
Unburdened by what happens
In your absence?

Sister is behaving marvelously
She sees I graduate in a month
She’s stuck in a slump
She needs me to bail her out
Probably even buy her a house

Mother is mother
Always smothering me with love  
Because she has no other
I’m big brother
Always with an eagles eye
Watch our sisters get smother by step father

Father always attempting to control me
I am me he is he
He’s like a flicking light in my life
There when it matters
But never truly transparent or really there

Anna why’d you leave?
I miss my sister
Always there for me
Never by obligation, or benefit
but by choice
You’re gone now
16 hours ahead
I never speak to you

I pray for your safe return
I yearn you come back the same

Anna,
Is it truly my responsibility to hold everybody’s heads above water as I sink?