By Arcassin Burnham

I lay beside you my bestfriend,
Hold hands with you my bestfriend,
We laugh,
We live,
We play,
We love,
Swear you intrigue me bestfriend,
Open arms for you my bestfriend,
The world knows about you my bestfriend,
Your beauty is gift,

And I,
Lay my hand apon your cheek,

_________


I was at my whits end,
Leaving her was like the abilicle cord I could not cut,
Lost Archangel running away,
The clouds could not hide you from me,
You putting your trust in me,
Now I'm a distant memory,
Nothing more but a bunch of condoms in the backseat,
I can't breathe ,
When you say that,
I can't deal though,
Fine then leave,

__________

Will I Always care,
Open up so many days,
Use to like your magic,
Loved your madness,
Lusting over your sin,
The laughter made it seem okay,
But love this day I have no limits,
For I could be the Superman you've always wanted,
But will I Always,
Be a stranger to you,
Blind spot to you,
Embarrassed to face that virtue,
Afraid afterwards to face you,
You went away,
And that's why you won't ever hear me say,
Will I Always,............................
.....................be the one.

(song)

I'm only human
I am not perfect...
No, I may not be stupid
I may just not get it...
Yeah, I'm only human
I'm only human

Sometimes I don't wanna carry on with this life another day, but that ain't the thing to say, at least not out loud anyway
My carry on is baggage and part of me but can't stay? I need it to remind myself what had hurt me along the way
It's completely intertwined with my destiny, seemingly by design, forged by my raw history gone astray
So not by the fire burning within per say but rather by a flame that got carried away, lighting up my dismay
Not a phoenix, no rising from the ashes, I just claimed them as my own then created a home
A collection of stone after stone thrown in my direction become the cornerstone of the foundation I raised all alone
Harvest my own backbone to support the load, structural integrity is homegrown
Get blown down, just rebuild, try to hone my skill to out will what I've sown

I'm only human
I am not perfect
I don't know what you want from me
No, I may not be stupid
I may just not get it
I don't know what you expect of me
Yeah, I'm only human
I am not perfect
I don't know what you want from me
No, I may not be stupid
I may just not get it
Understand all I can be is just me

**** and moan, scream and cry to an empty auditorium, my lithium battery drained and I don't know where to go get some from
All thumbs and numb, fumbled the mission, what's done is done, can't be undone, self reflection is no fun so I play dumb
When reality hit it stung, my demon won, a surprise to no one, all attempts to enter the ring ended with me caught up in the top wrung
Can't predict the future but I see the inevitable outcome, only one lonely track on this self titled album
Said track is a sad song, repeat stuck in the on position and so loud I didn't get off stage at the sound of the gong
Not only did I play the biggest part of my downfall but tragedy overshadowed comedy in this parity type sitcom
I can pin point precisely when and where it all went wrong but can't explain why I kept on this particular path for so long
Prayed for help then buried my head in the sand before it came along, popped up only to find it already gone

I'm only human
I am not perfect
I don't know what you want from me
No, I may not be stupid
I may just not get it
I don't know what you expect of me
Yeah, I'm only human
I am not perfect
I don't know what you want from me
No, I may not be stupid
I may just not get it
What you see is the only me I can be
I'm only human, yeah, I'm only human
I'm only human, yeah, I don't feel human
...what am I doin'?

I slip and trip more often than not, trapped in the web of a side plot, main story got lost in the shuffle, it happens a lot
Forgot to implement basic self maintenance leading to rot spreading to every thought
So I question the thought that I ought not lower my defenses, got caught in the in between, can't connect, lost a dot
Struggled with the day to day, fought just to get to a level playing field, all for naught
Yes, it was me, I did it, I hit the self destruction button too quick but it didn't say elimination, it was simply labeled quit
No mention of a death certificate or that it would make the feelings of my inadequate existence permanent
I couldn't keep my whits about me, lost sight of what was important, my insecurities the culprit
Don't think for one moment though that attention is why I did it, it most certainly isn't

I'm only human
I am not perfect
I don't know what you want from me
No, I may not be stupid
I may just not get it
I don't know what you expect of me
Yeah, I'm only human
I am not perfect
I don't know what you want from me
No, I may not be stupid
I may just not get it
What it is you see in me

Responsibly taken, still forsaken, got front row seats to my damnation but it's a rerun that I'm tired of watchin'
Internalized everything behind blue eyes, an examination taken place with no follow up explanation given, why are the results always hidden but lurkin' right outside my field of vision
The implosion of my life left a broken man child chokin' on the pieces left and your sinister laugh proves you think I'm jokin' or just enjoyin' what you're seein'
The implication bein' that there's no salvation, no savin', tried on the shoe and continue to wear it, it fits to perfection
Pretend not to listen so you can't be guilted into any type of action at all, and so you're not looked at as responsible
And that's reasonable, you let out a little nervous laugh and giggle cause it makes you feel uncomfortable
And that's just a small taste compared to my mouth full, out of mind, out of sight not possible
The blowback was powerful, not mindful of everything I don't know, what I do know now is I was never in full control

I'm only human
I am not perfect
I don't know what you want from me
No, I may not be stupid
I may just not get it
I don't know what you expect of me
Yeah, I'm only human
I am not perfect
I don't know what you want from me
No, I may not be stupid
I may just not get it
This isn't the me I want to be
I'm only human, yeah, I'm only human
I'm only human, yeah, I don't feel human
...define being human?

©2022

We have all lived these lies before.
But fortunately for you
The ungodly mystics
Have come to blur the logistics.

~Jamais vu reducing you to presque vu~
Normal adults with abnormal hearts
Bodley sensations
Perceived as memories.
Is this all consciousness seems to be?

Accept it
& venture on.
Nature lover wildflower

I am mine.
Before I am anyone else's.

Sendoff the catharsis of psychopomps
Abandon ship
Engage in privet talks with Psychonautes
Denounce the war in my mind
Between who I am and want to be.
For it’s a privlige to be a kaleidoscope
Forever changing color
Ambitious zeal
Misguided hope
Artistic creation
Misanthrope

Elegance in a nonfigurative sense,
Perceptual flashes of internal concepts
Decomposition on the Hawaiian Island
Lose of whits somewhere past the horizon.
Island fever.

You say i'll never be secure
I'll always be the one jealous of her.
I think she's just who you'd prefer.
You only see skin color. I'm pale and thinner.
Maybe if I was thicker, hair was longer,
You wouldn't long for her.
Or have me thinking im mediocre and crying all October.
I was hoping our memories would hold you over.
It's my birthday, no reason to stay sober.
Try to remember me before
I made mistakes, i just wanted to explore.
I got ahead of myself, i wandered too far.
Fell from a cliff tryin to get my **** licked.
Lost my inocence, then got lost in your forest.
Wanted to climb sequoias, now all I gots a toothpick,
and kindling, but I cant keep our flame lit.
so my hearts ripped and my minds split.
Do I choose love, do I choose happiness?
Do I walk away? i wont hear the end of it
My heart knows what my mind dont admit.
I could drive myself crazy, loosing my whits.
So i walk slow follow the signals, see it from your angle, stare out my window, watch the smoke flow.
I never wanna see you go as easily as this wind blows my clouds low, away from my home.
Try to grasp it, but it slips through my hold.
Always felt like you broke the mold.
Everyone before you was placebo, you were my libido.
Turned me into a loving creature, instead of who I am now, feral with fever. ******* for leisure, smoking until I cant see clear.
Wish I could go back to who you knew last year.

The night is young
Where should we go
To wonder off to no mans land,

You play a great game
Having me fall in love over again
We sink into love quicksand,

You told me you'd never hurt me
Now I have nothing to show for my time and effort,
  
To see me down brings you comfort
Comfort to know I'll never depart
For you
hold the key to my heart

No family no peers for this I have reached my Whits end
To think we were once friends