Poem 1
A LESSON THAT I TAUGHT

I Teach!!
I taught...
Here's a lesson that I taught...
I had this lesson. It were ace in my mind!
The planning was tight, concise, well timed

Going into the room - my stage
Put on the teacher face, the act
(My phone is buzzing but I don't react)

Lights, camera, action! You're on!

"Hi guys! Come in, unpack your things!"
But I'm just thinking about why it rings

"Hi guys! Come in, take off your coats!"
For some reason now I'm thinking about goats

(Why ******* goats?
Why now?!)
I thought
(I need to teach a lesson on...
Oh crap! The whiteboards not working!) "****!!"

Right, try again...

"Excuse me Chelsea, that skirts too tight,
And too short and you aren't wearing tights.
Go down to student point and get yourself a note"

And now I'll get back to the lesson that I taught

"I ******' 'ATE SIR! HE'S ALWAYS TIGHT!!"

Class - "Totes! Hahahahaha!!!"

I think ... Look you little tots, all you're thinking about is **** ... and your tots and your shots and your tokes in her tote!
You think you're ******* clever but you're not!!

I say... "This is an amazing lesson that I've got!
Does anyone remember the last lesson that I taught?"

"No sir, we do not"
"You're boring sir"
"Are you gay sir?"

On a parallel universe, where I don't care about my career and my home and my children...

I think in my head for a bit, then I say...

"Look you little spaz, you think I'm tight?!? I've been sleeping in a mates spare room at night
because me and the mother of my kids had a fight
and everything in my life is turning *****
Because all I do is stay up all night to plan a ******* lesson for a bunch of little scrotes! Who can't even take off their coats, And sit and ******* listen to the lesson that I taught! I'm marking so much that my body's not taut and my mind spins round and round in thought (a word which you spell ******* tawt!)
Progress and differentiation!
The future of your education!
And I just hope that in some way, I might actually TEACH you something today!
But all you think about is **** and tats and texts and sexts and COD and Christiano Ronaldo and Justin '*******' Beiber AND YOU CALL ME GAY?!?
You spell thought ... T.A.W.T!! You're 18 for gods sake!!
How you gonna make a living eh?!
Totesport?!

A couple of them titter

And the rest go silent...

And I think I've won!

'Til one of them says "sir... I'm gonna get you done!"

"And you're gay"

"And you're a **** teacher"

The end

the same blue chairs
the same smudged whiteboards
the same ****** teachers
for 13 years
its not preparation for life
its torture
pure torture
your brain in molded
to think the way society wants you to think
the lack of freedom to think in  this world
is what holds us back the most
we must be normal
well what if i dont want to be normal
theres more to life than a nine to five
a wife and two kids
a church wedding and a mortgage
live with no regrets
fufil your every want and need
live to experience
and die with content

I've needed glasses since I was 11 years old,
And I never wore them until a few weeks ago.
I was afraid of being bullied,
So I spent my entire school years with blurred vision,
Sitting close to the whiteboards,
Or sneakily copying the words from my friends' notebooks.
And now I have glasses and the world is clear and pristine.
Or it would be if they weren't constantly smudged and *****.
No matter how clean I get them,
Three minutes later they've attracted more smudges, clumsy fingerprints.
My point is, helping yourself is the right thing to do,
But it doesn't always mean the quality of your life will be better.
Just...different.

I dont care what you say about
Men we're not ******
To stay silently violent,
Guns ready to fire

We aint gunslingers, walking all alone
We've minimal ammunition, we all wish we had more
A collectors store without boredom full of lead and war
A bitter path torn from the bitter hearts reward

The Devil walks on, in our soul the Lord's been gone
For at least two thousand years then a little sprinkle more
Didn't you hear? Crucifixion is addicting to the body
When by God's will he rose from where he lay rotting

See what i don't see is a solution for me
The evil in our hearts advance like Moses to the Red Sea
Its almost meant to be, that he's not for you or me,
Crazy it seems to be but crazy is what defines me

And refined finally, my thought process to polish
Perhaps you reject common facts by faith you'll abolish
The abomination that is by my nomination
The station, by which we pull the train that is a failing religion

If prayers did ****t for you, then that's cool, stay by God
And pray away the starvation, the slaving and the rot
But without action your thoughts and wishes are dead fishes to an aquarium
"Watch out kids, the smell is strong, just don't sniff it then"

God ****** by God's hand is his Children abandoned
You may live on with hope, but we're worse after moving on
In fact little has changed, our ways opinionated
But hey, that's my opinion and it'll get me killed if i say it!

So i guess i should claim this work as just a joke to rehearse
Coz if i don't then the Church will burn me at the stake like a demon I'm cursed
"Leave this blessed place, lest you stain the face of this Earth
With jokes and humour, you curse-hurdling mind-turtling ****"

Well that's okay, any place is better than Hell on Earth
Where pedophiles **** over little kids, yet I'm the joke and the curse
A lesson unlearned, as humans we burn
By the very nature of the forces that reproduced us like birth

A faulty experiment, that's what we are, just vermin
Little rats and mice, pests like head lice, ya guts churnin'
Feeling sick to the core, but you bought a survivors score
Tally up the years without chalk, just fingernails and whiteboards

Annoyed am I by the supposed gifts of God
If his gift is for us to **** ourselves then we surely bought
Into a failing cause, this opinion wont have sought
Anything but negativity where's the debate for which i fought?

So as you can tell, I'm the spitting image of Hell
Defined by my lack of presence at the toll of a bell
Sunday's are my lazy days, yet everyone else's to pray
I'd rather not trust into the tiger as prey

He'll eat you up, your money, your life and your family
Eyes closed and hands clasped with minds surrendering
I should be thankful this was hardly forced onto me
Otherwise I'd be just another religious zombie

My faith lies in evidence i can see feel and touch
So unless you have the man Himself i wouldn't dedicate to anything but lunch
Food is good for your body, another real thing to me
If i wanna cleanse my soul I'll do it with something that fully fulfills me

And its not bowing on my hands and knees
Just to please or displease an unseen deity
The variety of higher powers that can't be viewed
Is just the more clarity that the truth is skewed

I'm a man of psychology, technology and biologies
The chemistry that makes me be is a visual clarity
The evidence of God's work i cant see before me
So either I'm blind or wide-eyed and y'all are dreaming

But whats an opinion to you, when all y'all pursue
Is the chance to strike a match and dip into kerosene, no clue
What happened to our honesty, honestly its lost on me
A dishonest man is just a common story thief

They're everywhere, once more the rat
But y'all done goofed now because guess who's back?
That's right, the black cat, the night owl, not Shady
He maybe be a little crazy but he ain't me

So eat me or beat me, push away the locks' key
Turn it into wine and bread and then decide to feed three
Because that's the magic number and its bothering me
How death, d!cks and dishonesty are all around me

Hahahaha, the jokes on me
Naturally, there comes a fee

where do i get off
everything is moving
and i can't seem to get my head on straight
the grey sky above me
melting into the glass buildings
steel spikes growing out of the bone-dry earth
in your world
it's whiteboards covered in scrawling green text
in your world
it's not what you'd thought
the air around you so tangible that it chokes you
closes your throat and eyes against the pain
in your world
you can see the people
like insects
crawling the streets from the view from your apartment window on the 80th floor
in your world
the glass doesn't warp against the night sky freckled with bright lights and falling bodies
in your world
it's not the nausea that tears against your consciousness
it's more the darkness
it's not the desperation
it's the calm
beating it's head against your bathroom wall and saying over and over
over and over
over and over

in your world
it's the cigarettes at three in the morning
and after that
at midnight

you stare at the clock for six hours straight
but the seconds don't stop

the microwave beeps all night long as you stare at the blank TV screen
but the seconds don't stop

A Failed Attempt at Baptism

Before my mattress devours me and I am swept below
This feeling clouds the air
The stains have turned into a web so thick
That if I try to find the origin
It only rouses rats in my head
And they’re always starving
So I lie to myself and think, if I could just find the beginning

When I was hairless and dumb
I would lie in the breeze of the hot fan
Wet from sweat and smelling like *****
Lost in some world that I chose
Oblivious and blissful

I wish I could be that simple
But it hasn’t been since I woke
And it gets harder each time,
Standing with eyes strapped open and screaming
God set my mom’s hair on fire, and blood suckers
Driving up and down the road to check if I’m still home

It makes me wish I could be there now
I close my eyes, but sleep doesn’t come to me
I open the book, but the words aren’t real

I see married men
Who sit in old arm chairs
Without a word to say
And defeat is written on their faces
For them, all white flags have sailed
And their consolation prize is a television
And vampire children that laugh like imps
I see time unfolding
I see lovers forgotten
I see the way you pull down your coat sleeve
I see elbows rubbing
I see the smoke in the air
I see my father and twenty others
Plunged in to the lake
Trying to make whiteboards clean

We are all making do
With what we have and what we’ve been
I took my shadow to the port
And tried drowning him in the sea
But as far as I walked into the water
It never crept past my knees

I want to die with blood still in me
Putting garlic over my front door
And holding tight to mementos
Of the lives I once lived
Letters from those who once loved me
Resting in my dresser
Boxes flooding the basement
Holding teddy bears and trophies
And my dying dog wheezing on the floor

so in my spare time
after a days studying
i stand on the pulpit
and talk to an empty room
shouting into the corners all the words i have written for people
who are not listening

like therapy i record these speeches
and play them back to remind me of the flow
of words
that could fill chalkboards whiteboards and lecture notebooks
but carry no weight

sometimes pray that the room is being captured
so someone can tell me to go
or perhaps the security guard finds some satisfaction
in seeing a heart unable to say no

I'm definitely going blind
I read the news and hear of pride
I'm proud of our undignified children
Placed in trenches, digging ditches
For the lost children

He calls us to hear the daily radio
The rest of the stories can be heard
In inscribed halls present in the colorful doors
Term ends, and a new semester begins
For the lost children

I'm definitely going blind
But, this might be the state of mind
In an educating time of hippie culture unabashed bashing each other on the whiteboards
Graffiti writes itself gracefully, subways travel like suitcases
These people don't belong here
For the lost children will never be lost again

Blackboards love math dorks
not whiteboards, glassboards, or corks
Chalk's gathering dust