"whatsover" poems
You know as well as I do
that internet dating can have its ups
and downs
and thus, after so many futile meetings
and tragic misadventures
in a domestic UK situation,
I decided to spread my wings
and so I logged on to an Australian website
for lonely kangaroo lovers
yes it was www.blackstump-legover.com.au
where no holes were barred.
And I soon struck up a promising friendship
with someone who sounded like
a real goer, a total slapper,
with no morals whatsover
judging from the photo she posted
taken with a mobile phone
up her skirt
which showed her **muffin *****
as well as what she had eaten
for breakfast yesterday,
poking its head out.
We finally agreed to meet
behind the old dunny
in the park where the abos go
to exchange their social security vouchers
for crack *******
or a bottle of Castlemain XXXX
or a quick one up each others' bots
in spite of the pong
on a sunny arvo.
You can imagine how effing disappointed
I was when she arrived
on a trailer attached to her grandson's ute
strapped to a battered gurney
(and almost insensate)
but still ready for a bit of backdoor action
but not from me, no sirree,
thank you very much mate:
I might be desperate, but
I would have had to have
clipped my nose shut with a clothes peg
to get anywhere near her
and my gag reflex simply couldn't cope.
So I bravely dragged the gurney
over to the convenient gap
in the fence overlooking the mighty ravine
and with a gentle shove
I sent her to that sweet place
where peace can be found
and I can still hear her scream
as she bounced off the rocks
accusing me of being illegitimate
before silence reigned
and I smiled in joy.
It only goes to show, O my friends,
that there are female dogs
of the most hideous kind
on every sodding continent
on this dear planet of ours;
and I may as well stick to
a handful of Nivea cream
and a Kleenex, at least the odour
is wholesome.
Sep 29, 2015
Sep 29, 2015 at 11:32 AM UTC
My whole life I've always been the side character
And in most of my friendships have been terrible
Mostly because the out of the few a few have been just horrible to me
But even along with that I've always just been the side kick
I've always been so and so's best friend
That's all I've always been
Every time someone greeted me and I said my name
I got "Oh, name's friend."
I felt very small, but I was comfortable
Because it was all I had ever known
I always knew to keep my opinions quiet so I wouldn't lose them
I always knew to just listen in on conversations
And I always knew to smile whenever I was called the side kick
So when my best friend of 7 years moved away
And I had no friends whatsover
It was weird just being called Hannah
It was terrifying not having friends but it was liberating to be me
It was liberating to be recognized as a human and not as an accessory
And it was then that I realized I was always a side character
In my own life i was playing the **** side character
And I also realized I loved being the lead
I now make it a point to be equals in all relationships
With friends, partners, and all people
Because I know how horrible it is to be belittled
And I want all people to realize how amazing the main stage is
Sep 28, 2017
Sep 28, 2017 at 11:49 PM UTC
An old woman was seeing a lilac sky
She was frightened to say goodbye
"O, freedom! My only freedom! Will the fire and bombs
end my sorrow?"
What was the use to hold living for tomorrow?
When all you can see was an ashes and scattered bones
An old woman was being slaughtered
She lost her family and hopes
Was it because they were Jews?
So that it's their right to make the world new?
Free from Jews?
As if Jews were roach
It was forbidden for them to be approached
And now
A giant smoke puffs in Palestine
Thousands people burn to death
Children, old people scream in despair
But no one will say if it's unfair
Is it because the land that is occupied?
Or whatsover so they have to die?
Do you have mom?
Is it hurt to see her cry?
Do you have love?
Is it hurt to see they bleeding then say goodbye?
When will the war ends?
When will all human races have a soul?
Or will it always be just a rhetorical question?
Dec 16, 2014
Dec 16, 2014 at 1:56 AM UTC