Wenever i think of u i feel sunshine evaporating my rain
Wenever i c ur beautiful smile i c an upside down rainbow
Wenever we r 2gether i am the old man and u r the cane
I need u to support me thru my life full of sorrow

your father is a morbid man puddy. .. . but morbid can be good if you accept it...
..how can it be good?idunnoimnotmakinganysense............   ..  ..    .well.   i guess if youre in the right mood or in the right setting.(i pictured people. a woman mainly. with dark hair. and everyone had glasses of red wine and were laughing in a short hysterical way. and i realize these people arent representations of people ive seen act like this, theyre representations of me. i kno that feeling which makes that laugh. when hearing stories or seeing pictures or videos of people dying suddenly or getting tortured and the abuser maybe dismembering himself or herself after or committing an interesting suicide which we love to hear about and the sickening brutality and pain and fear and cringing you feel is instantly replaced with a swift too swift and sharp laughter. and these stories are real, otherwise its just silliness or boys being boys with their sick imaginations and saying it just for attention or to be funny or weird.. and we all might question ourselves slightly but either Time or Exposure to the Wicked World or most likely the validation of our indecencies with everybody else's  because its a whole room laughing lets us feel better about it each time but then more ashamed of our withering virtue until we forget. and something to understand from the remark "but either Time or Exposure to the Wicked World or most likely the validation of our indecencies" ad its there is no difference in this matter between the options 2 and 3 because we are the Wicked World. and all 3 are just things we waste. and if not laughing sharplyand loud and insane maybe some of us are at least being entertained while wailing in a definite cringe or exasperation or i dont kno but it is blended with the jovial air of the room. and people and family members laugh with and comfort and joke with eachother like a pride or a flock or any group of animals showing their young 'here.its ok.its an apple. you can touch it. it wont hurt you. its our food.' but we say "c'mere, the foundation of this world and all its agony will rip you apart, so here, learn how to find joy in it otherwise youll be too effected and will need to be discarded from normal happy people who kno their happiness comes first. because thats how we work as people and as a group. now here, have a drink. we pretend it helps and seek it out against our better judgment because we dont want to exist because weve become nothing in place of the wide range of terrible emotions we should experience when seeing the world for what it is.. ourselves most of all." and i guess that is what i pictured. the average happy people. family people. nice house and aunts and christmas people. and i kno im biased but nothing in this imagery matters. i was supposed to capture just the thoughts which i actually spoke to myself or my dog or whoever but now i have a brick-sized moving picture of my interpretation of happy family americans and other nations and just everybody.  but im no different. deep down anyway. deep down i am selfish and scared and come to the conclusion that the world is too complicated to be fixed and were too dumb to fix it reguardless and more so we are filled with souls which shift too often which we must only watch drift away moment to moment leaving us with many things but definitely a healthy amount of selfishness and, well, psychology i guess. we can figure our race and ourselves out as much as is possible and maybe even be right about some things, but knowing what drives us and feeling compelled are unrelated. too constant of a shift are we to be anything describable in correct terms and too unknown is the future to kno wut form our shift could bring us to. ..this is all absolute nonsense. i started rambling world. u gave me a mouth and i started rambling with it. i am definitely equal to a baby human or animal just shrieking into the world because, well just because its alive. so im a baby with no way of managing my existence other than making sounds because there are ears everywhere and peeing where i lay because its inside of me then it comes out because im unaware of my functions and we all send scattered unfinished nonsense to eachother and they send their own version of it back to the human and we manage to make ourselves sick and destroy our home and we're like an ant colony with no coordination.) and then something about laughter is sometimes a coverup for discomfort, so laughing from something morbid is not good. but then again it is still a laugh, and wut is the point system for laughing goodness and thats it the end jesus christ stop. *******. later. txt me wenever. have fun at ur party. i hope the weathers nice up north and not too cold cuz i kno u hate the cold. and im probably a boring **** saying cheezy things trying to act natural and nice and caring but i have my own agenda and am too unnaware to kno that and therefore will never be able to change for the better because i am a stupid human who thinks they have something figured out about every moment of every day but cant really do anything. cant see myself how others see me and cant feel the right way ong enough to accept it and constantly contradicting my conceptual and moral and spiritual universe and will never realize that 99.9 percent of the time my thoughts are of things like rocks and puffy things and shooting myself in the head and im hungry and **** that ***** and... im such a loser. if i dont start acting and living like a straight shooter my only outcome down the road will be lonelyness, heartbreak. regret. shame. and many other bad things where everything i love is either ded or has abandoned me because i am now a man and there is no such thing as abandoning a man but i am alone and want to die and i do. i **** myself and im ded. and there is no heaven and i have no soul and no one knows im ded and the passerbys and police officers and coroners who kno that im ded dont kno my name. so everyone i ever loved who havent loved me for years will die years down the road with families who love them and i will never cross their minds again. and i will deserve it. and i will pray for satan to devour my flesh and feel a demon inhabit my body along with my terror.

My meditation is you ..
This warm feeling which i feel wen u r near me is worship for me .. My peace lies within ur company, this deep silence with smile on our faces wen we r lying on bed together , my happiness is around you .. the way we giggle over everything and nothing ..the way we laugh together for hours & hours non stop for such silly and non funny things  makes me most happy . My childhood lies in you... The way i become child in front of you and we  do most stupid things together and yet find them the most creative things and praise each other ..my innocence lies in you .. The way i get to do such simple things and yet feel so empowered and content ... My pamperness lies in you ..the way i get angry and you come to me plant kisses on my lips , cheeks,forehead cup my cheeks with your two tiny hands i feel the most pampered person on this earth . My anger lies in you ..the way u and i get angry from each other and without any ego we both hug each other like lost lovers for make up . My passion lies in you ..the way you inspire me , motivate me each day to excel in whatever i am doing . My strength lies in you the way you look into my eyes wen i get weak and assure me that i cant loose the hope and charge me with all divine energy .. I find my world in ur embrace .. This purity of relationship i feel wen i and you do things for each other without any expectations and unconditional makes me feel the power of spirituality ..you have taught me to smile in pain and be calm then ..this power within i realized wen i held you for the first time and still i feel it ..i feel some kind of firm supernatural power flowing in my veins , blood.. wenever u fall sick or fall down i get strongness in me to smile keeping all pain inside me..   My world lies in you .. I love you my darling daughter "yuvakshi" you are my great teacher and love of life ..and i feel so proud to admit that for the first time in my life " i am in love and i am rising in this love with each day passing and each moment growing , thanks for making me such a strong person and yes a "COMPLETE WOMAN" love mumma.

The one...

the one who will shine  brighter than the sun.

The one I will spend the rest of my life till its done....

The one?

the one and only..

the one and only!

who will be my lover,
will have my heart,
and we will have each others
-backs!
we will never fall apart,we will break down,but we continue to stand.

The one and only...

the one and only will not just be my wife,but also my homie...

a partner,
a friend,together we will fight for each other onto world ends.

we love passionately,and ride the waves,as we do it,romantically.

My one?

my one,her smile shines as if heavens light is bestowed upon it,her lips so tender and sweet,the very taste of it hard to even speak of,cause each kiss im taking is each different but unique in the same love.

my arms are ment for my one,My lips are for my one  and only.And my one? is the one that is distant from me and my touch.
I want to love her,but her lips are far from my touch.
I want her so bad,cause I love her so much.

the one..
the one who Ived been there for,saved her,bathed her,glazed her with my kisses and riches more than any women in my life.

My one and only,I did everything for her,cause she is my wife.

My one and only,
the one,
she is the start of everything good in my life,she came in wen I had nothing.Now she is my strife,She's the one of mines,her beauty is undefined,And each line read,is all for that one.the one and only,my goddess,my sun,my queen,and my everyday desire.

I long for her,so I wait as the fire,but only grow with heated love and passion for my sun,the one,and only,my everlastin love.
That comforts me wenever im lonely.

-By emmanuel jv Hernandez
3-23-11