"wellbutrin" poems
The pharmacist is not your friend
He may put you up in a high hotel
With slip streams of ****** pills
Paxil and Wellbutrin
Designed to defeat depression
To facilitate a fog like
Fugues of perfected moods
With drugs made to create
The perfect drone state
So you can pay your bills
So you can **** and sleep well
So you can keep your health
But it is poison
Kidney killing swill
And while you are under the influence
Perfectly sedated so you forget how to feel
One hand is in your pocket
Thinning your wallet draining dollar bills
While the other hand holds your heart
Crushing what is left of your already weakened will
Aug 21, 2015
Aug 21, 2015 at 11:37 AM UTC
They watch me closely
They feed me with pills
Until I'm fat and unhealthy
They show me the hospital bills
nine-thousand dollars for me
being sent to a facility.
I'm drugged up and ****** up
Is that rabbit really there?
I lay in my bed then I sit up
Am I really, truly, honestly here?
My plan didn't work unfortunately
I woke up in a hospital
with an IV dropping ever so slowly
"How could you be so irresponsible?"
Wellbutrin, Geodon, Zoloft and Clozapine
Latuda, Synthroid, Seroquel and Clomipramine
One after the other goes into my mouth
Lined inside my little pill box pouch.
Maybe life will get better some day
Not today, or tomorrow, or next week
But someday, I promise you, I'll be okay
I am no longer a failure, I am no longer meek.
Jan 18, 2015
Jan 18, 2015 at 12:27 PM UTC
she’s got the Oxycontin blues and an appetite for Ritalin
a body made for fixation
Wellbutrin XL 300 MG to cope with hallucinatory voices
little lonely, melancholy mollie keeps her gloominess away through raw physical exertion
Prozac to highlight her manic side
she lacks emotional stability
****** to walk her off the end
2 ***** bottles and some ******
Jul 28, 2014
Jul 28, 2014 at 8:41 PM UTC
I’m ****** in the head.
It’s like cancer.
Not cancer of the brain but cancer of the mind.
It sits dormant, eating away everything in sight like a teenager that just got too high.
My chemotherapy doesn’t pump in my veins, it’s choked down my throat, like a shot that’s far too bitter to ever be chased.
Wellbutrin, Xanax, Lamictal, Z-O-L-O-F-T
To hell with the bar, it seems my only cocktail is right here because these ******* doctors tell me that
If I loosen up more than these milligrams untie me,
I might die but what’s the difference between this shot of whiskey and the game of
Russian roulette I play without this bottle of pills?
There are only so many months of grinding teeth and tense jaws and sore necks
And skin that feels like a wildfire that one person can take before the cocktails stop coming
And you’re trying to figure it out yourself between figuring out how to get the blood out of your sheets.
There’s only so much restlessness and trembling hands one woman can take before
The skill of swallowing a punch bowl of pills turns into the skill of performing a plastic
Surgery on that innocent disposable razor.
But then winter rolls by and you realize it’s too hot for those pants and sleeves to hide you.
And even when you stop there’s always questions and eyes that silently judge you.
Brain cancer is easy. Brain cancer garners everyone’s sympathy. Brain cancer is understood.
But mind cancer is a ******* enigma and those scars on your arms, your legs are harder to explain
Than the nausea and vomiting from the cytotoxic car bomb that went straight to your veins
Just like that trusty silver blade did.
The twisted truth is that you’re just as ashamed of those white lines as they are.
And then you learn to say “I’m done with the shame” and realize that
We’re all ****** in the head in our own way.
Jul 29, 2013
Jul 29, 2013 at 3:42 AM UTC
Endless streams of chemicals pumped into my veins
For the white coats, I was simply an experiment.
Prozac, Lexapro, and Wellbutrin
Every one of them failed to help.
But that's when I realized,
That you are the only remedy I could ever need.
Oct 30, 2013
Oct 30, 2013 at 12:04 AM UTC
A boy’s foldout couch : three of us tangled together, me whispering I HATE MY BODY
(5 Artopee Way
Nyack, NY 10960
845-353-5555)
(Do not) Refill Dr. Come Help Me Now I
Am Pinching At My Skin
Waiting For It To Shed Away Like Baby’s Hair
(I HATE MY BODY)
(I WANT IT TO DISAPPEAR THE WAY THE SKIES IN JULY DISAPPEAR INTO SIDEWALK)
(I SPEND HOURS WITH MY FACE OVER TOILET BOWLS & NOW MY HANDS LOOK LIKE ROADS, ALL CUT UP & BRUISED)
FENICHELL, LOISA
120 CASTLE HEIGHTS AVE
TAKE 1 TABLET DAILY : CROSS OUT : READ: DO NOT TAKE AGAIN
(he has been kissing her all night do not kiss him do not kiss him three bodies all tangled together on a foldout couch DO NOT TAKE AGAIN)
BUPROPHION HCL XL 300 MG TAB
GENERIC FOR: WELLBUTRIN XL 300 MG TABLET
Drug Exp: 8/19/14
Nov 8, 2014
Nov 8, 2014 at 8:03 AM UTC
i can see death and it can see me
blinking
lights out
shimmering dust bowl dreams
they are irrigated
they are firm
that is death inside of itself
these things people call important
or the things that make up themselves
wellbutrin dreams
adderoll dreams
all of it spheres of mica
makes up for the sand in the desert
or the tall rouge waves in the ocean
for everyone in distress
for everyone who loves
or has loved
for everyone who is totally alone
for everyone who gets their wishes
we share our hearts and souls
shed nothing but water color tears
should you feel alone
or empty
please know that i am a heartbeat away
put your head on my shoulder
i can stay like this forever
Mar 20, 2015
Mar 20, 2015 at 3:29 AM UTC
Everyone told me drugs were bad
and I should just stay away from them
because the thugs and the other people who do drugs
are addicts and scary and hopeless and numb
and addiction is something you can't outrun
so I swore to myself when I was young
that I'd never become one
my father chose alcohol to make himself big
he told me "they don't leave like your mother did"
it was so confusing as an eight year old kid
to hide everything out of instinct
because he gets so loud at me when he drinks
and I couldn't wait for when he passed out so he can't cuss
and that was every night of his weekends with us
put on a movie for your daughters and get drunk
it was something we accepted and didn't discuss
now I'm sixteen
and for less than a week
and I forgot to take my doses
and now the world is out of focus
I'm under some kind of hypnosis
I'm explosive, I'm psychosis
feeling little to no emotion
all because I forgot to notice
the bottle of Wellbutrin
so for days my head just spins
and I'm coming down from it
and withdrawals are ********
and in this haze I feel like the vicim
and it's all in my head so I can't cure the sickness
and this illusion of stability is so ******* twisted
because without these drugs I become so distant
it's the only thing in my life that stays consistent
and I realize that this is what they meant by "addiction."
Nov 2, 2015
Nov 2, 2015 at 4:25 PM UTC
Wellbutrin keeps my mind.
from going Splat,
like a fly Smashed by
a swatter, It shuts off
the Slow drip of
Anxiety, that Twists
my Stomach in knots
as doubts Trip through
my mind Like it's
a Playground...
it keeps My days
from Feeling
nonstop Sleepy
I'm glad it Keeps me
from Insanity...JMF 2/21/15
Feb 21, 2015
Feb 21, 2015 at 7:03 AM UTC
My depression hangs heavy in the air
black curtains on the windows
dim light casting shadows on the walls
I yearn to stay away
but I'm held captive in the couch's cushions
eyes planted on the TV screen
drooping because they're too heavy to keep open
Dec 15, 2015
Dec 15, 2015 at 1:36 PM UTC
Don’t give any suspicion, no, not ammunition
I wouldn’t want a repeat, but there’s always another lurking.
You’ve checked my closets far enough, breached and infringed on all my stuff
How does it feel peaking, ravaging the room and sneaking
What knowledge are you peeping?
I see that you are freaking.
Yes, I’ll change, yes, I swear.
Go away, don’t ******* stare.
No, I haven’t slept in days.
I’m pondering my next escape.
It’s really quite exhausting,
I’m either paralyzed or resolving
a bleak and bleary future,
maybe drugs and unhinged stupor
But you know as well as I
That I absolutely need to survive
I can’t afford to die
I can’t afford to die.
If not for myself, I’ll live in others
They’ll recall me when they shudder
Something’s in the room? No, another
Hallucination, some type of clutter.
You’ve built my insecurity,
you’ll fall for false maturity
The doctors will say I’m a-okay
Holy hell, she’s changed her ways.
..
But now?
Wellbutrin’s in the flower,
the flower’s in the tea ***
resting by my bed side,
you’d never check my bed side.
Razor’s in the picture frame,
I reminisce of when it maimed
my skin and I felt something,
now I feel just nothing.
I tried to hide, these things of mine,
well enough you wouldn’t find
something wrong the next time,
there will not be a “next time.”
Jul 11, 2019
Jul 11, 2019 at 11:43 AM UTC
Nights like this I can't seem to function.
The Wellbutrin and Klonopin aren't
working anymore.
No matter if I double the dose.
I want to be happy.
I want to be loving.
But I'm going insane in my mind
and I want to pluck every strand of my hair out.
I want to tear off this skin
and smash my brain in
so my thoughts can finally roam freely
and not racing in my head.
As I walk through the halls,
I barely exist.
It's all a drift.
Nov 12, 2014
Nov 12, 2014 at 8:16 PM UTC
The rust on the chain lock
glimmered in candle light.
I latched it…
the very first time tonight.
No need for a visit or to be here
ever again.
Easier with me,
and harder without.
Harder with me,
impossible without.
The conundrum I must face.
The script of Wellbutrin,
and you’re avoidance,
like I’m a plague.
Lead the path of war, destruction, pillage, demise.
ConunDRUMS……
N
A
T
E
could you play that beat one more time?
Just like the cannon fodder fuel.
*** vs. Kettle
Jekyll v. Hyde
bandage third degree burns,
but you never were mine.
This lifetime,
this timeline,
self sabotaged and deconstructed,
left salvaging the pieces now.
Isn’t that what we both always wanted?
Aug 20, 2024
Aug 20, 2024 at 6:47 AM UTC