Fourty enemies I counted
and deadly were all
my first attacker was a
poisonous snake it bit above the ankle than came the thief's of my fathers land and deadly they were there's was a trail of bodies left behind and I had two wounds in all
one worse than the other
the one in my mind was quickly hidden within where it could not be found to hurt me
as if by default
I was born with this blessing
and this a curse the Tzolkin says
its a knife that it cuts through pain
its a transformer
my extrovert enemies ill intent was flunted and the less deadly every other wore a kind mask
they stung the worst
unprovoqued others assassinated my character despiced me for me because they lacked
my forgiving nature
my heart of gold
Gods light on my face
must have shown them their own sin as for
you the human predators
along my wrong path  
you poisoners
Athenian many medeas who
tortured my babies newborn
narcissitic kidnaper deceivers
you were no husband!
rapist mad trelo
your Greek Medeas blood thinners
arsenic cyanide strichnine
your evil chemo to my babies
to destroy our RHO!-DNA
but we prevailed we won
I see the injuries you caused to my daughter chest you bashed my Rosy's skull just to a peace your filthy mideas you scum of earth all twelve of you
your are every mother's nightmare
you died but you were never alive scum of this earth
your jealous medeas
asked you to sadomise a new newborn baby may hell give you
the same remedies and
shub your Geek mythology
in the darker pit abyss of seol
all I did wrong was love you
for your well inked lies.
as for you in America
number two psycho another
pit bull husband from hell even your name Henry was a bad owmen
with a trio agenda you too wanted
my child for his ex and me dead giving birth and all for a life insurance
all for greed and dope two faced
you almost knifed for surviving you and bbeing a good Mom
impotent white trash
you weren't worth my trip
to maternity isle but my child is holy to me
Satan could have been a better father and husband
my dear audience forgive my bluntness I am, just a poem reader many lives have I lived before but in this one
I failed myself and God
please bare with me
from all the bad sons and daughters of God
the poisonous snake bite
was the most benevolent one
it just put me to sleep
inoculating me for what was of me to become in this life a sacrifice to my Lord
To my ONE true love Rickie
my road not taken
thank you for your true love
please I repented in supresing
what pained me and wounded me so utterly deeply I hid the God sent love that you
offered me so lovingly
know that your love was a healer I thank God for all
that you are a Light on this earth
Believe in me said the Lord King Arthur-Lancelott christ in my name no poison no weapon prevails  and all enemy is defeated and with this Mom it was for God knows my heart and my identity.
Hell is an echo chamber.

Among the retrospective haze, I remember
yowling - shrieking until it felt as though
razors had been taken to my vocal cords -
until I was too tired to be angry.

You'd think the Beast would snarl: she merely wields a mirror.
I stare into vacant eye-holes of a girl who once bore my shape;
flesh dried, decayed, rotted and greyed.
(It had to happen at some point.)

There's...
cruelty... behind all of this,
beyond the level I favoured in my waking days
-- I wish I could sleep. The Creator must live in fear:
it takes cowardice to be this callous.

Hell is an echo chamber.
In an area of solitary confinement, I am my own cellmate
and she is gouging at the walls. I goad her on;
let her wear herself out so she can leave me in peace.
Only one of us can breathe at a time.

In our own sins we trusted,
in their essence and their nature.
Hell was never an inferno:

it is an echo chamber.
hesitant experimental poem. i was rightfully warned away from prose-y poetry when beginning to write, and it was only upon incorporating structure that my poems began to improve. i'm satisfied with this, though - there's multiple contexts it could apply to.
Here I am on the hedge,
Amidst the forest of doubt,
One who've sworn not to pledge,
Proudly wear my shroud.

There's night in my head
And smoke in my guts,
Nothing's clear to my mind,
Porcelain is my heart.

With a black tooth grin
Bear mysery crown
With my soul in the wind
And my faith in the ground.

Eyes - by chance fallen leaves
Under the bushes of eyebrows,
Fulvous brown and grass green
Hidden in the shrubs' shadows.

Dead pale skin covers me,
Brown ivy curls down my shoulders.
There's blue blood in my veins
And I greet you, beholder.

Childly mushy cheeks
Rubbed by claws of white,
Full of shudder twists
Hope to thrill your mind.

Preying on your smiles,
Drinking up your breaths.
Forgive me for a while
Lack of wings on my back.
Sondering Jul 3
Oh, human; so many types of you,
I could not fathom my fate if I were to
long so much, work so hard and obtain so little,
facing the sun while
straddling the moon like you do.
You like to be irresistible in every
single, tiny little thing you do, don't you;
from the way you part your lips and smile,
to the way you hold out your rough, aching hands towards me,
planting a tender kiss on my forehead
and asking for my soul in return.
You like to stir up my mind, imploring one thing with me
but then diverging off to explore a
whole entirely different one altogether,
all alone and cold, dripping white glistening
trails of stars all over my arms.
You are always telling me that you need time
to forgive yourself,
to forgive the shards of broken, diamond glass
you pull out of your pockets
and hurl at the ground you tread on,
forgive the blood red roses and green tangled thorns
you wear a top of your head,
blood trickling down curls of ivory hair,
like streaks of winter cherries
flowing down to your shoulders.
They say you like to dance,
stomping all over paradise with
black, jagged leather boots,
and whirling mountains around your fit torso,
gripping the blowing wind
in your arms and forcing it to carry you
as gigantic as you are,
because other things need to
experience oppression too.
Suddenly you are explosively loud when you
claim you're okay/alright,
like those few words hold captive your purpose
of existing beneath the stars,
when all you ever wanted was to be one.
And when you're laughing in your bed,
legs tangled with evergreen whips of dried woven grass,
chest hidden underneath a blanket of cool, violet-blue dawns,
the sight of you is so beautiful and painfully wretched
that I am torn over just laying down with you
or hurdling you off my mountain of life.
If there ever was such a confusion
that loved so passionately, breathed so calmly,
and raged so defiantly
at the mere thought of just existing,
it would be such a creature
as a human.
07/02/18
Copycat, ground yourself, detach your
darkness with unsalted cheeks; inserted smiles, please
live a little before you go. breaking rules and dreaming
demons, don't open your eyes to adjust them low, lowered...
Lost power; coffin to dirt, etched upon the unfetched intensity
of an unmatched foe

Down to light,
Heaviness strikes,
Learn to love.

Don't drag hope;
Wear it high

And hope  you'll
Keep breathing

Reel in your breaths,
Just for tonight,
Tonight


Please--
All feedback is welcome
When you feel sad please
think of blue skies , give it a
smile let your heart fly

Think of fluffy clouds
on a summers day , watch the
sun shine its bright ray

Think of the moon when
it shines so bright , where the stars
glow with all there might

And you know when a
street light glows , watch the moths dance
and put on a show

Eat nice food like greens
and fruit , colour your rainbow
and turn off your mute

Listen to the birds when
they sing a song , there lighten
your heart ever long

Look at the trees no
matter the seasons , pretty
leaves with such reasons

When you feel sad it's
simple things in life , a cup
of tea taste so nice

Paint your home walls with
colours of your choice , maybe
yellow to rejoice ?

Hang pictures full of
art , change your curtains so your
sadness may depart

Eat a scone filled with
jam and cream , laid upon a
table of home sweet home

Jump up and down on
your bed , be a kid again
just don't bang your head

Put your coat on back
to front , wear a where's wally
top there be no hunt

-----------

Turn your negative
into a positive heart
Make a fresh new start
Inspired x for a friend x
Have I already told you?
that I always miss you
on a day to day basis

Have I already told you?
that I want to hold you
in this cold, lonely night

Have I already told you?
that you're all I see
in this myriad crowd

Have I already told you?
how you look so cute
when you wear that smile

Have I already told you?
that I'm slowly falling
out of love; it's driving me crazy

Have I already told you?
how lucky I am that I've found you
my one and only comfort zone

Have I already told you?
that I'm hurt with words you've said
I thought it was me all along.

But, I was wrong.
that's why I didn't tell you
what I feel about you.

Have I already told you?
how lucky that person is
to be loved by you...
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