steel wool woven into my tendons
pricking stringy veins
in vain i wore you
steal me some wool
for a sweater too scratchy for my pink skin
steel wool on a kitchen sink
sanding my baby forearm pink
stringy veins leaky weaky
making stained sweater splotchy
your lipmarks my hipmarks our ripmarks
thank you kindly for a lovely sweater cheri
i'll wear it till my pink ripens raw rotten cherry

that's the thing on the tip of my tongue
in a heart i felt nothing

but i had some dawns in me already
breaking truth

that else is not always else
and my self was not always myself
and i trust this and i need this truth

and if it's called selfishness
then i admit it to be
i swear it to be
because a heart where there is nothing else
only comes about for me

an end, i reach, came finally
all that was amind
was mine.

the biggest fog, cloudiest bog
aggregated aggravation
wish i could go around and change the notation

never MIND the abject self-criticality
i mind it the most when you mess with my practicality

cause i'm sick of this big big fog that i carry in me.
you wanna carry this for me?
i carry it for no reason but
an old commitment i used to have for interreality

and this isn't really my reality
this is your reality

so we play, and when we do, we play across the line
and when we cross your faults, they become mine
but like always
i'll take them
it's fine

forgetting i'm already sick of the weather
forgetting i don't know how to make it better
forgetting it forgetting it

filled of others
I'M FILLED with others
of what else?

you say else never was the anti-me
but i fought inner wars to have it reconciled in me

well, in any case,
your else, i used to make it mine

but here i fulfill my own. disown disown disown

cause i've laid no ties to this weaky throne
nor to the cloudy ****** weather i'm gonna have
overthrown

belonging to all these people i asked to leave me alone
by the way, they never left me alone
till i finally left me alone

honey i'm home
honey honey
i'm home
i'm more than skin i'm more than bone
but i'm not you
i'm my own


i keep thinking
if only i had known

if only i had known

Too easy, always breezing through, eazing,
comfort, soft, cheeky squeezing,
me, this week, weaky, meek pleasing.

I was never sick
      Not like them.
It never sticked
      Like it did to them.

It grew, the fluke, blew up,
no backs, to the past that lacks
this new disease
        may be my last
                 before I drop the stacks.

Banner, seen at four,
didn't know
what, twenty, still no gut, no go,
from the get-go, no strut
again.

Manners maketh man!

No more greeting at the entrance door,
no meeting on the seventh floor, en trance,
no chance to meet your father, son.

What's wrong, how long
have I been gone, for,
twenty four, will I see?
Dealt a bad deal, who can I be
during the war
behind the banner's door?

Drop the act son,
you shouldn't ask, wouldn't know
how to react, son.
Better crawl, easy kid, better crawl,
like I did, better crawl, never done, kid,
we'll see if you deserve it.