I watch my reflection in the mirror
with my pale blue eyes
watching my lifeless stature in the dark
bones made out of gelatin
and my heart out of fragile glass
that breaks everytime i see myself

My fingertops softly touch my face
Tears keep coming faster
till my waterlines are overflowing
My nails grow sharper
and my fingers cramp
digging holes under my eyes
I want to shatter my bones
And burn my skin to ashes
I want to rip the hair from my scalp
as well as all the pages
filled with frustration
scratching and screaming
I have to be pretty

but the need for it grows
as well as the demons inside my soul

I put on black eyeliner tonight
because I know you hate it.
And after the day I've had today
I can't handle it if you look at me
like I know all the answers to
the universe.

-
as i lay down for the transition into a
difficult sleep, i notice the shimmer of
a slight convex on the surface of my
ceiling fan winking with each rotation,

drawing my attention away from visions
of to—day as i attempt to erase them with
heavy sore blinks, pouring tears into

the fires of the immediate past, knowing  
all too well they will steam back into the
clouds that return for tomorrow's rain—

(you just gotta love the water cycle)

i re-imagine it as the incredulous stare of
a dolphin or maybe a sting ray lost in the
oceans of eternity, bereft of any suitable
media to push it's useless fins against

my lids slide downward to dismiss its fate
because my place is somewhat above their
high water mark, being fortunate enough
not to have drowned within such depths—

yet this lingers to mind as the last image
of the evening, blinking shut the thought
of some creature leering down at me with
its one envious eye...




"a glance between waterlines"
© 2020 by Seranaea Jones
all rights reserved

land of gold and silver
birds with bright feathers
burning wild with sparkle and shine
spit plastic to the waves of red faces and grasping fingers
these hands reaching for anything close to home.
land of bursting hearts
front doors open for warm breezes
to come in and sit for a while
begging for a brass line, a mild conversation
never sleeping, for fear of seeing that nightmare of rain.
land of waterlines
spray painted symbols on abandoned walls
tags of sadness
and across the street, the greenery demolishes vacant lots
as if to **** the emptiness.
land of human sacrifice
since Napoleon's footprints covered each corner
since ships baring human cargo made port
since walls were built only to be tore down
by mother nature herself.
land of the broken
land of the lost
land of the free.
land where beauty rises through the storm
music begins and ends with the single loudest note
voices are not quiet or harsh or unkind.
land of peaceful noise
land of burning passion for courage
land of pride.

Begin.
Ready your work area and clean your surface.
Prime the texture of your canvas:
             Smooth out all those exterior bumps and grooves.
             Always allow time for the last to relax.
Laying your foundation is the subsequent step:
             Be sure to pat a bare layer of skin all about.
             Brighten under those eyes
             before moving forward.
             Once more, allow your layers to relax.
Contour those ****** features to reveal an under-truth,
illuminate curvatures of shadow and light:
             Sweep in, sharpening under those cheekbones.
             Sweep out, lightening the cheeks.
             Sweep up, darkening those temple.
             Sweep underneath, sculpting that jawline.
             Sweep down, deepening the nose.
             Blend, blend, blend.
Redden those cheeks:
             Moderate your quantity,
             balance your quality.
Add a splash of color behind those bright eyes:
             Beige, Corduroy, and Chocolate.
             Again, always blend.
Darken those eyebrows:
             Bend the brow around—
             highlight under that curve!
Line those eyes with coal:
             Carefully curve over those waterlines,
             Steady your hand, do not to smudge.
Curve your brush up, up, up:
             Build those lashes.
             Open those eyes ever wider.
Accentuate those relaxed lips with a pleasant hue.
Before the final step, double-check for any unintentional slip.
Dust with finishing powder before overlaying with a setting spray.
End.

Afterward, review your work:

             First, remember your anticipating canvas, ready to be refashioned.
             Now, appreciate her every extraordinary color and unique curve.
             Finally, admire not just the craft, but also the delicate and dedicated crafting.

This reflection, our masterpiece.