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JJ Hutton Jun 2010
I'd like to think that she's thinking:

"How far have I fallen?"

As she sits on the corner of her bed,

Listening to the soft buzz of his battery-powered toothbrush.

I imagine her,

Running her fingers through her clumsy, coagulated hair.

Glancing at her chipped, crimson toe nails,

Then looking to her class ring,

Made entirely of imitation ingredients,

Wondering when is the proper time to trash it.


When she was still a friend of mine,

I never saw her wear make up,

I never saw her show off in tight jeans

or low-cut tees.


But as he spews the toothpaste into the sink,

Skinny jeans lay tussled on the floor,

Next to the side door

that leads to his sister's side room.

The make up she wears

is from the night before.

It's skewed and shows evidence of running,

Like a wasted watercolor.


I'd like to think he isn't that handsome,

And that he's obsessed with Paul Walker.

I'd like to think when he re-enters the room,

He's in grey sweatpants,

He's wearing a black tank top,

With a Confederate flag backdrop,

With two barely dressed babes looking ******

in the foreground.


His hair, unwashed and greasy.

He rubs his belly,

And bears an idiot grin

on his face.

Looking like he just learned how to smile

at this pace.

"Did it feel good?"

feel good.

After he asks, he scans her body,

Beginning at those crimson toes,

And Ending at that clumsy hair.

Every second he scans,

He still wears that drawn-on

Idiot grin.


I'd like to think at this point she thinks of me.

Of my warnings and prophesy.

Her eyes start at the chipped toe nails,

Course over her tanning bed-inspired legs.

And finally reach the only thing she has on,

A t-shirt that belongs to his sister.

A t-shirt, when given by him,

It was mentioned, "thanks, mister".


Though she didn't satisfy all his redneck intentions,

During last night's expedition.

He still paid her back with a morning

one-sided session.

"It felt good" she says.

In reference to the ten minute *******,

When her body was strummed and plucked,

Underneath his sister's Terri Clark T-shirt.


As she sits in the filth and the ****** fallout,

On a bed that is six days *****,

While he is grinning,

Being everything but wordy.

I'd like to think she's thinking:

"How far have I fallen?"
Copyright 2009 by Joshua J. Hutton
Purcy Flaherty Jan 2018
Initially she began contacting me over the course of a year or so and increasingly over the last few months she started visiting me, helping me, caring for me and occasionally employing me in different ways.

She’d just had a break up a few weeks before, explaining that things hadn’t been right in the relationship for some time!

She presents herself as respectful, thoughtful, gentle, kind and considerate and after what seemed to be a very short length of time; unexpectedly declared that she had feelings for me; regarding love, admiration, desire and some other adventures.

She then began to bombarded me with love talk; occupying around 70% of my time gaining my trust, I was swept off my feet; she took a great deal of interest in me, learning everything about me, what I liked, where I would go, always asking what I was thinking feeling, how she could help and I was flattered and she was charming, though a little awkward at times.

As our friendship grew she started sharing her back story, including some tragic life experiences; she vilified her past lovers, and ex-partners and branded them as crazy, or bitter liars and troubled souls; slowly gaining my sympathy, whilst securing my allegiance, and keeping me on side; keeping me close; drawing on my compassion loyalty & trust!

During intimate moments she would sometimes seem a little awkward, false, over enthusiastic, or a little insincere and I made allowances for this given my knowledge of her backstory. Re: (The tragic life events & experiences)

She began to choose and buy me clothes; outfits, take me shopping, gradually altering my outward image and appearance.

She introduced me to her friends; but was careful to keep me and them at arms-length, I realise now that she was building an alternative profile of me in their minds and that the people she introduced to me rarely exhibited the behaviours or characteristic that I was led to expect.

She soon started to embroil me in her own rituals and compulsive behaviour’s, explaining that tasks needed to be performing in very specific ways to prevent her getting distressed!

She made many promises : ‘Hooked’ It was my expectation i.e. waiting for some of those promises to materialise that kept me hanging on; This increased her control and exited her too. (None of her promises came to fruition!)

She gradually had a hand in almost every aspect of my life i.e. my home, my work, my friends, family, my finances, the way I dressed, the food I ate and many other things besides, much of which I didn’t realise until our relationship was finally over.

She often took immense pleasure in duping, individuals or companies out of something through theft, shoplifting, or getting something for nothing, a profiteer, a chancer!


To question or challenge her authority would result in seeing her façade slip and watch her decline into meltdown. It's at that point, she would lose composure, and I would see her irrationality come to the fore; revealing the real person underneath; childish, contrived and very fragile; It’s as if control is the glue that holds her together, without it she just falls apart, during this time she can’t be consoled and it’s impossible to calm this escalating situation; in fact; at this point that she would attempt to regain control by ‘gas-lighting’ me, she would distort the truth; who said what; in an attempt to damage my self-esteem, to make me question my own mind, my words, my intention and any actions, apportioning blame, pointing fingers, making me feel guilty, use rejection, or using hurt, sorrow, tears, shame and even threaten liable or legal action, and then use *** to pacify or regain control over me and my actions.

These episodes would appear often; though irregular and without provocation, I would always be deemed at fault! I found silent compliance was less stressful than engaging in discussion.    

She never took responsibility or made any apologies for her conduct.

She would set me tasks and go out a lot and lie or bend the truth as to where she had been; I never challenged this behaviour!

When the relationship was finally deemed over! I was both devastated and relieved.


I began to see my new position in the cycle; as she immediately begin to vilify me in order to give credence to her new backstory, I felt very confused, disorientated and emotionally fraught, shell shocked! questioning, how much of our relationship was true and how much was a lie? For everything I thought I knew was now knitted together with a very complex web of loyalties, lies and half-truths.

Her pattern of repetitive and controlling behaviours have seemingly remained unchanging throughout all her relationships!; (I know! as I was contacted by many of her previous partners and other casualties since I shared this account.)

Within two weeks of being apart she told me that she had fallen in love (My replacement) someone she’d had her eye on for some time, some-one she admires, someone kept in the background, a friend a mutual acquaintance, and thanked me for bringing them together.
The grooming of her new lover would have come about in exactly the same way as previously described. It's her M.O. (Her pattern of behaviours, her techniques have remained fixed.)

She’s incredibly self-conscious, her biggest fear is that other people will find out about her true demeanour, her image and appearance is everything to her. She's afraid that people will shun her for being so very different. She is a wolf, that’s not a malevolent creature par-say; and quite beautiful and beguiling in her own way but you don’t want to be her pray.

Full circle:
I too have joined the ranks of the discredited; labelled a liar, troubled, bitter and crazy. (I Know this because secretly contacted members of my, family, friends and some fellow musicians; and they shared these conversations with me.) I suspect that she may even attempt to vilify me with authorities or threaten some form of legal action; as she has to others in the past!

I'm still drawn to her despite my knowledge of her sociopathic nature, and all the things that go with it, her charismatic boldness, her ****** power and her Svengali like intelligence.

I’ve had to block all means of contact and cut her off entirely to curtail my pathological interest, for despite everything that’s transpired, her lies, her infidelity, her deceit and appalling behaviour, I feel no malice towards her; quite the opposite, I'm drawn, intrigued, bewitched, beguiled by the person hiding underneath the façade!

Now the dust has finally settled; I’ve somehow remained sound of mind, and I don’t feel guilty anymore; I’m aware that I’ve been manipulated into thinking and acting in ways that don’t truly represent my character; and that I’m just one of many people seduced by a sociopath.

She’s just another natural human variant , an attractive person devoid of empathy for others, that’s developed a narrow set of skills and mirroring behaviours, that allows her to blend into mainstream society in order to feel safe, secure and in control.

She would have preferred to keep me hanging on, like many other dependants, adding me to the hareem; a bank of beguiled individuals that she occasionally calls upon to perform simple tasks, or to simply monitor and re-assess her handwork.

The last time I saw her she opened with nervous politeness and finished with veiled cruelty, I left feeling drained, uncomfortable and quite fazed.

I’ve written this account to help further understand what had transpired during this complicated relationship, I’m not sure publishing this account will be useful as to others.

But I’ve not mentioned any names; and at any rate the next person targeted; will ignore any pre-warnings as just bitter ramblings, and most individuals are driven by the natural pursuit of love, *** and romance rather than following advice of some seemingly bitter ex.

Bittersweet! The reason you and I might attract the attention of a sociopath is because we shine like stars; stars are both attractive and further enhance the image and status of the sociopath and the people around them; a sociopath will orbit a shiny star and use its energy to slingshoting into a larger more attractive orbit, either stealing a bit of its shine or destroy it in the process; To these people love, *** and desire is simply a tool for manipulation and gain.

Expect high drama.
She loves to watch you *** unstuck!
Tom Leveille Mar 2015
ground zero
i become aware of boundaries
i am a dog chasing cars
i sing your voicemail to sleep
there are no surgeon general warnings
to tell me that
the objects in the mirror
are more depressed than they appear
so how do i tell you
that there are parts of my life
that move slower
without you in them?
or that i look for you every day
in emails & unanswered calls
in the sunrises
i didn't choose to be awake to watch
that i sometimes still stare at doorways hoping you would walk through them
   *stage 1
you tell your new lover you've got a splinter and they pull the sound of your body falling asleep on mine out of your fingertip
   stage 2 your new lover says something at dinner that makes you choke so they call 911 & the paramedics do the hymleich not knowing you would ***** our promises all over the the restaurant
   stage 3 your new lover surprises you by cleaning the house & washes the shirt you kept next to the bed, not knowing it was the last thing you had that smelled like me
after
people always ask
what was loving her like?
after a really long silence
i just say
"it must be nice"
but i never say
it's watching paint dry
i never say
it's a window seat in hell
i don't tell anyone
about the dreams
where i am reading you
bedtime stories
each one is a different way you die
& every time i can never save you
dreams where what i think
are angels in my bedroom
are just homeless versions
of myself you never loved
i have dreams
where i pay someone to shoot me
just to see if you would cry
just to see
if you would cradle my body
i don't tell people
that loving you is like
playing piano
for someone who can't hear
that it's hitting repeat
on my favorite song
& forgetting the words
every time it starts over
that it's finding out
there's no milk after you already
poured yourself a bowl of cereal
it's getting locked in the dark
& being told to
look on the bright side
that loving you is like
being reminded of what it felt like
the first time
you accidentally let go
of a balloon as a child
it's drowning without the water
it's the feeling you get
when you start to dance
& the song ends
Nicole Joanne Mar 2015
there are no surgeon general warnings
about boys with sunlight eyes and dark voices,
of boys who speak meaningless words and irrational sentences
in such a way that even the greatest philosopher
would secondguess himself.

with a voice that colours silence,
and a gaze like the moon lights the night sky,
his glare will turn your head into a meteorshower,
thoughts colliding, breaking, seperating.

it's his third cigarette, and smoke is clouding up the room,
he closes his eyes, exhales the nicotine carelessly,
leaning against the wall, so at peace,
and all you can do is happily drown,
your self-control more intoxicated than his lungs.

the blinds revealing whats left of the sunlight on white walls,
scattered light, faded patterns -faded thoughts
you love the sunset, but you can't take your eyes off of him.

cigarettes and cigars are labeled with warnings,
'may 'cause heart disease'
but they forget to label the boys that leave you breathless,
the boys that hold your heart in one hand, and a cigarette in another;
the boys the know the best way to set something on fire for pleasure.

(NJ2015) All Rights Reserved.
Claire Waters Mar 2014
“Being born a woman is my awful tragedy. From the moment I was conceived I was doomed to sprout ******* and ovaries rather than ***** and *******;to have my whole circle of action, thought and feeling rigidly circumscribed by my inescapable feminity. Yes, my consuming desire to mingle with road crews, sailors and soldiers, bar room regulars - to be a part of a scene, anonomous, listening, recording - all is spoiled by the fact that I am a girl, a female always in danger of assault and battery. My consuming interest in men and their lives is often misconstrued as a desire to ****** them, or as an invitation to intimacy. Yet, God, I want to talk to everybody I can as deeply as I can. I want to be able to sleep in an open field, to travel west, to walk freely at night...”*
-Sylvia Plath

all the streets i’ve walked become a neat little maze
under crete is a labyrinth
under los angeles is a cage
in my head forms a neat little map
cover your legs with your napkin
the monster in my head
says to cover my back

she’s looking for a sweet little life
she’s slumping over in her seat looking white
she may seem a little lifeless because she is
are you okay, are you okay?
are you?
no.

you put on a little periwinkle dress
you reign in your red hair with barrettes
now you shed the little periwinkle dress
in a gas station bathroom
to be less like a girl and more like
the smoke in your lungs
the pain in your heartstrings

you rip your red hair from the barrettes
it doesn’t feel good anymore
they don’t feel right
you go to goodwill and stare at the men’s button ups
in gaudy patterns and colors
shaken and sleight like your mind
some people’s eyes just chill your bones
you think it is safer to wear camouflage
in a city where pretty little girls
are devoured by minotaurs
when they wander out alone

don’t think about strange boys on the boardwalk
who are stuck in your sun glared eyes
the less you told
keep telling yourself it was wise
the lies you told
keep replaying through your mind
the wall rears it’s head
when he says the word *****
you ignore the warnings
you ignite the warnings
you forgot the warnings
hand him the lighter and watch them burn

they say they can feel your lightness
you tell them you are looking for a life full of light
and it lessens, as the sun drops
learn your lesson
they only want one thing
and you don’t want to think about it
but eventually they say what they really think
what they rashly think
what they readily think
the sniffing nose around the corner
you barely blink
the bull shows you the horns
you know you stink vulnerability

and you always get up to leave
just in time, the warnings
you disappear back into your well memorized labyrinth
your body and mind are warring
the minotaur is bearing down
the moments are fleeting but you carry the feeling
the moments are feeble but the fear keeps on teething

maybe tonight
you can do something different
try not to haunt
every place that you live in
the feminine
Robert Guerrero May 2013
Posted on my castle temple walls
Signs you should of took the time to read
"Warning"
Monster untamed and vicious
"Danger"
Toxic tears will erode your soul
"Keep Out"
You will die slow and painfully
These walls hold secrets
Victims to my monstrous demented ways
Have become the white picket fence
Barbed-wire running through temples
Oozing out the toxicity of my love
You should of read the signs
They were warnings
Before you walked the yellow brick road
That is now painted red
With those who have tried
To make me something I was never meant to be
I'm no angel
I'm no saint kneeling at an altar
I'm the demonic statue
Crucified upon golden crosses
I'm the symbolic monster
Tormented by the whipping voices in my head
You should of read the signs
They were warnings
To the same fate that fell upon others
I wrote this because I was bored
ryn Sep 2014
Life throws at us the worst practical pranks
Some call them challenges... I call them sick ironies
With challenges you might emerge victorious, and slide up the ranks
Ironies are just mean, bad jokes; locks with no keys

Call me godless, sad and trodden, bitter man
Call me a cynic, call me all including jaded
I've arranged it all in various permutations, much as I can
But my view at this point cannot be compensated

Allow me to illustrate...

•It's funny how you feel very certain or strongly
About the bog of sadness and depression you wade in deepest
You know it's real, you fan it with strength your mind could carry
When it could be better used to rise from when you're weakest

•What's this about having to crash to your fiery death
Into the realm of darkness; into the belly of hell
You'd have to almost die and lose your last breath
Before granted an epiphany, a slim chance that you could turn out well

•When life throws you in the deepest end
Fills your lungs with copius amounts of bad water
Tries to **** you before allowing time to mend
When if we were first taught to swim, it would've been much easier

•Sure... A treasure trove of splendours, life does offer
But like a spin of the lottery, you mightn't get even if you deserve
No matter how far you reach into it's elusive coffers
No matter how hard you worked to get ahead of the curve

•Life is like Christmas at times when it feels like giving
Like the gift of love much coveted by most individuals
Gives us all these fanciful things that need extensive assembling
But mischievously hoarding all the instruction manuals

•Fraught with grey areas and blind spots to fight
Presents ample opportunities to find the place that you'd belong
You go through shitloads of wrongs to get a right
And finally you think you're right, in actuality, you're dead wrong!

"More", you say?

•Friends during good times but not the bad
•The perfect red apple hosting a worm inside
•Faking a happy smile when you're deep down sad
•Putting our blind faiths in politicians we know who've lied

•Achieving superstardom only after death had ensnared
•Using heavy machinery to rid the Earth of impurity
•Shooting your mean motor mouth and wonder why no one cared
•Starlets dying for attention but crumble under scrutiny

•Health warnings on cigarettes but still sold for revenue
•Acquiring your sought after sports car but drive within the limit
•Promotions to idiots in suits who haven't got a clue
•Stretching up for the stars even when you know you'll never reach it

Well...

I could give more examples but I've typed enough
Life is but a game we're all playing; a circus we're all living
We can't help being helpless when unable to read and call its bluff
All we can afford is to keep siphoning water out of our boat that's sinking
I know I have been whiny in my recent writes. I also know that living a hard life makes you stronger... When life gives you lemons, make lemonade... Blah blah, yada yada... YAWN... SNORE... Zzzzzz. I know these already and I'm sure they're true to a certain degree. Just want to rant and complain. Please forgive my whining.
Mary Mar 2013
you are sitting next to the boy who drove you
to the fast food restaurant, who drove you to
prom, who drives you crazy,
the one tapping his fingers
down the swell of your forearm,
the one you love in pictures, in postcards,
in senior photographs with his tie askew.

you love him the only way you know how,
call him crying and ask for help
but desperation is not reciprocal,
and needing someone will not
make them need you.
it has taken you much of a lifetime to
learn this.

in the passenger seat,
in the plastic bucket chair,
in the doorway as you convince them to stay open.
you are sending dark globes flying down a polished lane,
all flashing lights and glossy surfaces,
stale breath and obscenities.
you bowl a gutter ball.
you bowl a strike.
this will be the night you realize
he fits you no better than the lurid shoes
cramping your toes.

at his house, at his kitchen table,
in the chair he eats breakfast in every morning,
you are staring down the fist-shaped
hole in his wall, jagged edges
and dark spaces,
it keeps showing up in your poems.

on the artificial green of the mini golf place
down the street,
on the metal bench with the arms
too cold to hold you,
on the luminescent dance floor as he says your name,
watching him heal from heart surgery
wondering what you’d have to do
to make him love you as much
as his body loves catastrophe.

in the backseat with the broken subwoofer.

under the fluorescent lights, your hands unintelligible,

you are crying but you don’t know it yet.

here I am leaving you warnings, here I am
singing you to sleep,
here I am bookmarking your memories
with the words you should have heard.

when he speaks, listen to his words but do not
picture him speaking, do not crinkle with the creases
beside his eyes. do not fall.

he will not catch you.
he will not care.

do not call him next week, on your birthday.
do not tell him about how your father made you cry
or how you feel alone at night.

he will not love you for it.

here you are reading the pages you’ve written about him. don’t cry.
wrap the ribbon from the bouquet he gave you
around the handle of your dresser.
do not think he’ll give you anything else.

on the sand glazed with seawater,
on the overstuffed couch with the cool kiss of a cell phone
against your ear,
in the arching concert hall with the chapped wooden seats,
you are saying his name.
he is there and there and there, laced through your life
like a child’s frayed ribbon, unraveled and imperfect and beloved.

he is beautiful and he is broken
and you love him for the scars he leaves
but you can’t will people back together.
you cannot fix this.

he is telling you he’s leaving and he means it.

he is not yours to miss.
Craig Harrison Apr 2015
Is it true what people say
did the Earth have trees
and oceans
did life run free
for as far as the eye could see.

Is it true what people say
did Humans **** animals for fun
pollute the air they needed,
did no one listen to the warnings
did no one stop them.

Is it true what people say
did we leave Earth
because we killed it?
Based on a conversation that may take place someday in the future
nivek Jul 2014
the moulding unseen centre of the Earth
fire and brimstone spells of witches
all not to be taken that serious swept
ignore under the carpet at your peril
Winona Marek Jan 2014
Flap Flap goes the Flappy Bird

Was this the right choice?
Seeing warnings on twitter
Thinking they're all quitters
Thinking you're better
But in reality, you're just as equal as them.

But as the day passes...
Flap Flap goes the Flappy Bird

Seeing your friends play, you start multiplying
Not even touching a pipe and dying
You're on the floor, you're crying
Pressing start over and over again and trying
Knowing your high score is low and start lying
because you know you ****.

But as the day passes...
Flap Flap goes the Flappy Bird

Questions going through your mind
"Why did I die?"
"Did I really touch a pipe?"
"Why do iPhone users only have day while Android have both day and night?"
"Why is it slower on other phones?"
"How do you get past 20?"
"Why do I keep dying?"
"Why do Android users have other colors?"
But the question you should be asking is...
"Am I going mad?"

But as the day passes...
Flap Flap goes the Flappy Bird

Now, the resolution.
Stop the addiction.
Press that "x"
You know its for the greater good.
I know YOU feel the ANGER whenever you die.
You don't wanna risk throwing your phone for that.
Take my advice. DO IT.
Before it ruins your life.

But as the day passes...
You can't.
You can't.
You can't.

Its too late.
Flappy Bird is now part of life.
Even though the anger
The anger that feels like your chest being stabbed by a knife
Hurts you so much
Deep inside you get a little happy...
Knowing somewhere in the world someone trying the same game
Got less than you.
Less than 3, 2, or 1.
And because of this you want to beat more people who **** more than you.

And this should be an achievement
You, state your name, got YOUR own high score.
YOU did it
YOU made it to one pipe or even more.
And if you didn't
Well ***** for you

But as the day passes...
Flap Flap goes the Flappy Bird
First poem!! I just had to express myself because I find it unfair for iPhone users. Im sorry, im just so emotional and my high score is only 20 :'(
jake aller Mar 2019
World According to Cosmos Updates March 3, 2019

Note: I am taking a two week trip to Vietnam and will update my blog when I return with my reflections on my trip, updated publications etc.

Cosmic Dreams and Nightmares

I don't dream dreams.  I dream movies complete with action, music, food, smells everything.  In this one I had a vision of  a possible future. it was so vivid, almost as if I were watching the hearing take place.

Three stories

Dream Girl (true story)
General Zod (flash fiction
Sam Adams Vs. the Social Cleansing Board
Six Poems
Morphing Images from Hellish Nightmare
Endless Movie
Worlds within Worlds Lost in Hell
Rafting to Hell
Satanic Torture
Micro Stories

Don’t Go Jogging in the Middle of the Night
Don’t touch this button!
Don’t open the door
Don’t go to the theater tonight stay home with me
Don’t go to Dallas I have a bad feeling about the trip


Dream Girl
Cheating Death 100 Times
Guardian Angel
Medical Mystery
SLA Hit List

Dream Girl – A true Story – reprinted from Dreams and the Unexplainable
You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

Author Unknown

The dreams started when I was a senior at Berkeley High School in 1974. About a month before I graduated, I fell asleep in a physics class after lunch and had the first dream:

A beautiful Asian woman was standing next to me, talking in a strange language. She was stunning—the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. She was in her early twenties, with long black hair, and piercing black eyes. She had the look of royalty. She looked at me and then disappeared, beamed out of my dream like in Star Trek. I fell out of my chair screaming, “Who are you?” She did not answer.

About a month went by, and then I started having the dream repeatedly. Always the same pattern.

Early morning, she would stand next to me talking. I would ask who she was, and she would disappear. She was the most beautiful, alluring woman I had ever seen.

I was struck speechless every time I had the dream.

I had the dream every month during the eight years during which I went to college and served in the Peace Corps. In fact, when I joined the Peace Corps, I had to decide whether to go Korea or Thailand. The night before I had to submit my decision, I had the dream again and it made me sure that she was in Korea waiting for me.

After the Peace Corps, I still hadn’t met my dream woman. I got a job working for the U.S. Army as an instructor and stayed in Korea. I kept having the dream, until I had the very last one:
She was standing next to me, speaking to me in Korean, but I finally understood her. She said, “Don’t worry, we will be together soon.”

Why was that the last time I had the dream? Because the very next night, the girl in my dream got off the bus in front of me. She went on to the base with an acquaintance of mine, a fellow teacher, and they went to see a movie. I saw her and found the courage to speak with her.

We exchanged phone numbers and agreed to meet that weekend.

The next night, she was waiting for me as I entered the Army base to teach a class. She told me she was a college senior and she had something to tell me. I signed her on to the base and left her at the library to study while I taught, and then we went out for coffee after class. She told me she was madly in love with me, and that I was the man for her. I told her not to worry as I felt the same.

That weekend, we met Saturday and Sunday and hung out all day. On Sunday night, I proposed to her. It was only three days after we had met, but for me it felt like we had met eight years ago. I had been waiting all my life for her to walk out of my dreams and into my life, and here she was.

Her mother did not want her to marry a foreigner. One day, about a month after we met, she invited me to meet her parents. I brought a bottle of Jack Daniels for her father and drank the entire bottle with him. He approved of me, but her mother still had reservations. After a Buddhist priest told her my future wife and I were a perfect astrological combination, she agreed, and we planned our wedding.

The wedding was a media sensation in South Korea. My wife explained it to me years later. At the time, I was overwhelmed just by the fact that we were getting married and I didn’t fully understand how unusual this was. My wife was of the old royal clan, distant relatives to the former kings of Korea. In the clan’s history, only two people had ever married foreigners: my wife, and Rhee Syngman, who was the first President of South Korea. My father, who was a former Undersecretary of Labor, came out for the wedding, which fueled even more media interest. Our marriage defied the stereotypical Korean-foreign marriage where the women married some hapless GI just to escape poverty and immigrate to the U.S. We were the first foreign/Korean couple to get married at a Korean Army base. Over 1,000 people came to the wedding, and my father was interviewed on the morning news programs.

This all happened thirty-seven years ago, (45 years since the first dream) and I am still married to the girl in my dreams. Now in my dreams she watches over me when we are apart.

General Zod Conquers the World
SETI and the search for extraterrestrial life goes on overdrive when scientists report what appears to be radio and television broadcasts from a planet eight light years from earth, the same planet as the Vulcans came from in the Star Trek universe.  The programs show a world where dinosaur-like creatures are running the world and there appears to be a civil war.  Over the next six months, the world is transfixed watching the alien broadcasts which are translated in English via a supercomputer program.  In the broadcast, a nuclear war has occurred. The surviving party regains absolute control and announces the formation of the Galactic Empire.  General Zod is the First Emperor.  They have discovered Earth as well. The aliens launch a crash project to develop interstellar travel so they can come to earth and conquer the earth.

The revelations that there is an external threat to the planet causes the United Nations to get together with the help of the United States and Russia another space powers, they put together Space defense International organization and also invigorates efforts to make the UN a real Planetary government including finally conquering climate change.

But it was too late. General Zod’s son arrives to take over the earth. He makes a broadcast saying that they were liberating Earth in the name of the Galactic Empire and that resistance would be futile.

They land at the White House and when President Trump comes out to greet them,

General Zod cuts off his head, and then cuts off the heads of all the staffers as they come out White House. After an hour of unimaginable horrors, including mass rapes, blowing up the Pentagon and the CIA,  General Zod announces that he had taken over the world.

Life will continue as before as long as people behave and follow the rules they would be fine Resistance to the new empire will be met with instant death.  Life in the Empire is not a democracy. They would not tolerate Freedom of speech, and Freedom of Press, and Freedom of Assembly And the freedom to oppose the State. The state is everything.  As long as humans remember that they would be just fine. They took over the United States because it was the biggest country in the world. And that his forces will take over the rest of the world but in the next couple weeks. If people on earth accept the new order, their safety would be guaranteed. Companies would be taken over by Galactic Empire companies, and everybody would have to learn Galactic standard. Within one year older languages will be banned.

Sam Adams Vs. the Social Cleansing Board

the summons
Sam Adams was worried. He could not sleep. He got up at 4 am and wrote in his journal and tried to cope with the dread that was overwhelming him. He had received the summons yesterday that he was to report to the social cleansing board for a review on whether he would allow to continue to be on the automatic permit list or would be referred for final status determination. Sam was a retired Federal worker trying to live on dwindling savings.

Sam had Alzheimer’s and was rapidly depleting his life’s savings. Two years before he had been released from prison, one of millions of ex political prisoners. His crime? Authoring anti-government poems just before the beginning of the Christian States of America, right after the second civil war. Unfortunately for him and his millions of ex-prisoners, his side lost the war. He wanted to flee to the United Provinces and settle down in California but lacked money to move. And getting a job at his age, with Alzheimer’s and his political rating was proving difficult at best.

All of which added up to a 90 percent probability his last days were approaching.

Under the new rules imposed by the Christian republican party in the newly established Christian states, all citizens over the age of 18 were on the permitted list if they met all of the following criteria. He tried to think why he was being referred to the board. Perhaps it was because of the recent crackdown on social deviancy. Millions of homosexuals, transgenered people, atheists, drug users, alcoholics, and non-religious people had been rounded up and eliminated according to the rumors. Perhaps someone had fingered him as a possible deviant. He fit the stereotype, no children, known drug user, known alcohol user, suspect politically, atheist and now Alzheimer’s patient. And he was not racially pure having some black blood, some Asian blood and some Jewish blood. And he had married across the racial divide which was now illegal.

The story was that if you flipped and named names you would sometimes be spared for now, and if your info was correct, you could be rewarded. Of course, those whom you flipped were not too fortunate. That was probably the story or someone could have heard that he was an ex political prisoner, or simply that he had Alzheimer’s’.

He had no children. And he was a secret atheist and had been involved with the dissent movement and had spent five years as a political prisoner at the start of the Christian Revolution. He was determined to make a stand and denounce the whole rotten system before the board although that would probably seal his fate.

As an Alzheimer’s patient he could no longer work. His wife had died the year before while he was in prison after she had been deported to her native Korea. She left him some assets but he had little idea how to manage his finances and he was behind in his rent and had received an eviction notice which had probably triggered the visit by the social cleansing staff who recommend a final status determination. But it was just as likely he was on the list because someone flipped on him.

He also did not make it last time when they came for him at midnight. Always at midnight the story goes.

The soldiers came took him away from his wife and locked him up for two years. They deported his wife whom he heard had died shortly afterwards. He spend two years at hard labor in the dessert near Las Vegas and was released into Las Vegas.

Las Vegas was a different town now that the casinos had left town. All that was left were back office operations, and underground ***** and *** operations and underground casinos. It was a hot bed of political dissent and there was an underground railroad to California, which was not part of the Christian states. Sam had been preparing to leave which was a crime and perhaps that is why he was on the list.

The hearing would be at 10 am. He was meeting his lawyer at the hearing board but his lawyer was not too optimistic.
the Permit Criteria
The basic criteria for being on the permit list were:

For Males

Age 18 to age 70
White race
Married to a white woman with children
Must be either working, in school full time, serving in military duty, or working in prison if convicted of a crime.

Homelessness was not allowed. If unemployed and or homeless, would be referred to social cleansing department unless one had a relative who was willing to take care of your needs.

Since there were no pensions or social security anymore and no government provided health care, one must have sufficient assets through one’s work, or savings or through one’s relatives to provide for one ‘s needs. If not you would be sent to the social cleansing board for final status determination.

For Females

Same basic rules applied but if one were married, and had children one would be on the permitted list, if children are older, if spouse’s income is sufficient one would be on the list.
If single or divorced, and homeless one would also be subject to social cleansing unless one’s relatives would willing to sponsor you. Since there were no pensions or social security anymore and no government provided health care, one must have sufficient assets through one’s work, or savings or through one’s relatives to provide for one ‘s needs. If not you would be sent to the social cleansing board for final status determination.

For Aged People

Additional requirements for the age you were expected to take care of your basic needs through employment and savings and the help of relatives. If you were evicted for non-payment of rent, or judged to not have sufficient assets left to sustain your basic needs including medical care, you would be referred for final status determination.

For all people additional requirements applied.

****** deviancy, drug use, alcohol use, gambling, *** outside of marriage, homosexuality would result in immediate referral to the social cleansing board as all were banned conduct that could result in final termination.   Being a member of a prohibited religious class could also be grounds for referral as would a pattern of not attending Christian services. Finally, if one had been arrested for political crimes one would be marked forever.
<h2>Sam's Rating</h2>
One had a government social rating. Sam knew that his rating was a D meaning that the government would be watching him all the time, and it would be difficult to get a job. Only the A’s and B’s were guaranteed to be on the permit list.

To be a A you had be to a true believer, had to be white, had to attend church on a regular basis, and had to be employed naturally.

To be a B same thing but you could be a B if you were a minority, or had engaged in alcohol or drug use under the old rules.

C meant that there was something wrong with your background, you were an atheist, you were a minority etc.

D mean that you were a serious threat to the regime.

E meant that you would be terminated.

F met you were terminated as it met Failure to survive, and family members of F were also labeled F as they were usually terminated at the same time.

Being associated with banned political movements, including reading banned materials could also lead one to being referred to the social cleansing board as all were grounds for either termination or criminal prosecution if under the age of 70.

The board has three choices - granted temporary status extension, referral for termination, or referral to criminal prosecution.

The termination would be carried out quickly. There would be an optional funeral at your Church, then the execution through the method of your choice - firing squad, beheading, electric chair, or gas. The default was gas where you were put in a room with up to ten other people and put to sleep.

Afterwards your body would be cremated in an electricity generating plant with the ashes turned into fertilizer products. There were no burials allowed unless one was rich enough and connected enough to request a burial exception. Most people did not qualify.
the Hearing
The hearing started. The presiding Judge, Judge Miller was a stern face white man in his 70’s and a true believer. He was sent to Las Vegas to clean it up as Las Vegas was the wild west, a hot bed of dissent, illegal drug use, illegal prostitution and illegal casinos. It was also near several political prisons so many ex cons lived there.

The Judge was the chairman of the Nevada state committee that did not exist and was a senior official in the Federal committee that did not exist that brought together government, business and church leaders to coordinate government policies and that secretly ran the Christian States of America.

Probably a score of A thought Sam.

The judge announced that he had reviewed Sam’s file and was shocked that Sam had escaped final termination. He said that the previous board had erred in simply sending him to prison. He should have been eradicated as a social evil, as a cancer that needs to be removed from the pure body politics. Sam and his ilk sickened him. Sam was a free thinker, an atheist, a mix race mongrel, married to a non-white and was therefore guilty of crimes against the white race which was a crime. The Judge was determined to see justice done.

He asked Sam a series of questions. Sam’s answers sealed his fate.

Sam, what is your occupation?

None for now.

You realize that under the law you must be working, in service, in school or in prison?

I can’t find a job due to my age, my Alzheimer’s; and my political record.

That’s irrelevant. You are just a lousy atheist *******. You deserve no sympathy. And have none from me.

Are you white?

No, I am mixed race, part native, part Asian, part black.

I see you were married to a non-white and had no children. Good for you we would not want to see more mongrel children. Such children should be eliminated at birth in my opinion and will be starting next month when we begin enforcing the racial purity laws.

What was your crime? Let’s see reading prohibited writings, keeping a journal, publishing an anti-government blog, authoring anti-government poems and stories. You served two years at hard labor?

Yes

Do you still write?

Yes, everyday but I no longer publish on line.

Good. No one would want to read that trash anyway.

Do you go to church?

No

Do you believe in God?

No, I do not believe in an imaginary man in the sky.

One more anti-religious statement from you will result in an immediate ruling of termination.

Do you drink?

If I can find it yes

Do you gamble

Yes, when I can

Do you support the Christian Republican Party and the Christian States of America?

No, I do not.

Okay, I have enough for a ruling. Sam Adams, you are hereby sentence to termination. Tomorrow morning at 7 am you will be turned into electricity and fertilizer. Take him away.

Next please.

At midnight there was a knock at the door. A black man appeared and said he was a friend and he was being smuggled to California. Sam rejoiced and went with his new friend and reached SF in the morning, escaping death for the 23rd time in his life.

the End

Poetic Nightmares

Morphing Images from a Hellish Nightmare
Note: From a real nightmare End Note

I am in a room
Drinking at a party
And smoking ****

Watching people all around me

Change into hideous creatures
Monsters from the deepest depths of hell

Everyone in the room
Has been transformed except me

The Chief of them all
Wears a Trumpian mask

Complete with orange hair

Half human half pig

His deputy
Wears the face of Putin
But his body
Half human, half horse: if

The other creatures wear masks
Many of them wear
Green Pepe the alt-right
Symbolic frog masks

And have T-shirts
Bearing alt right slogans
And **** symbols

And as they prance about
They chant alt. Right slogans
And neo-**** chants

Jews will not Replace us

And the rest of these creatures
Are hideous ugly beasts
With only a vestige of humanity left

And these monsters are engaged
In all sorts of foul evil deeds
****** violence death

All around
And non-stop
violent drug-fueled ******

As these creatures
Half human half monsters
Half male, half female creatures

Snort coke, *******, speed
Smoke **** and drink ***** shots
Scotch, bourbon and beer

The Trumpian Pig leads the charge
Starts engaging in ****** with Putin
Who chases after people

Cutting off their heads with his sword
They turn on to their fellow creatures
****** and killing each other
and eating their fellow creatures

All night long

Then they attack me
Screaming

Jews will not replace us
And I wake up
Screaming

As the sun comes up
Just another nightmare


The Endless Movie

Watching the TV coverage
Of the great government shut down
Of 2018-2019

I am reminded of a movie
As I fall asleep
Listening to the TV

Blather on and on
About what it all means

Mr. Natural pops up
And screams

"It don’t mean s….

“Dude, the endless movie
Is about to begin”!

A middle-aged white man
Down on his proverbial luck
Just been fired

Replaced by a foreign worker
Or a robot

Or just fired
Because he was no longer
Deemed useful
To the masters of the universe

If he was lucky
He'd  be given a watch
And an IOU worthless pension

And the man wanders into a restaurant
Pulls out a gun

Eats his breakfast
After the official breakfast hour

Puts on a Pepe the green frog mask
Drops acid, Snorts speed
Drinks a shot of *****
And coffee smokes a joint

Snorts ******* for good measure
and smokes a cigarette

And walks outside
steals a bus at gun point
Filled with passengers

He tells them
They are hostages

And he puts on his vest
With the dead man switch
Next to the bomb

He announces
Via tweet

He is going to take the bus
To the proverbial *** of gold

Hidden deep in a cave
And when he got there

He would release the hostages
And disappear into the mine
And never be found again

And as the bus careens around the mountain
At 100 miles an hour
The dude sprouts out

Conspiracy after conspiracy theory
About Obama the Muslim communist

secret gay working with George Soros
the Jewish money people
in league with the shapeshifting lizards

and Mueller is one of them
they are all after him
because he knows the deal

And the passengers are transfixed
Half hoping, he would make it
Half hoping, he would be blown away

And as the bus careens out of control
With the wheels falling off

And the cliff looming ahead
You realize we are all doomed


Worlds Within Worlds Lost in Inner Space
A man woke up one day
Lost in inner space
Went so far down
The proverbial rabbit hole

That he did not know
Where he was
Nor what time it was
Nor when it was

As he stared out
At a bewildering world
A world lost in inner space
Deep down in his dreams

Filled with nightmarishly real
Monsters, demons and ghostly apparitions
He saw them and began running
Running running running

With the hell hounds behind him
Leading him to the edge
of the pits of hell itself

abandon all hope
ye who enter here
the sign read
above the entrance to the pit

and there was a devil standing there
armed with a clipboard
and a computer spreadsheet
Satan was the ultimate bureaucrat

Name barked the devil
Date of Birth ?
Date of Death?
Don’t know? That won’t do at all
Hmm

Car accident due to drunk driving
And you killed a child
Bad on you

But here in hell
The punishment fits the crime
And the devil laughed
Joined in by the hell hounds
And other nightmare creatures

A bell ran out
In the purple crystalline sky
And slowly the worlds receded
And he found himself alive

In his room
And vowed
That today
Was the day

He would quit drinking
Quit taking drugs
And quit chasing strange woman
And having wild libertine ***

He picked up the phone
It was Satan’s aid
Be careful what you vow
We are listening

If you fulfil your vows
You might find yourself
Escaping life in Hell
It is up to you to choose

And the man got dressed
Went to work
Thinking deep thoughts

And drove off a cliff
And back down the endless
Worlds within worlds

Satanic Torture

I find myself
In a dark room
Strapped to a bed

The light turns on
The large TV comes on

A smiling image
Of Satan fills the TV
He is dressed
In a conservative business suit

Looks like he came
Out of a corporate
board meeting

surrounded by demonic aides
who constantly shove papers
at him

He looks up from his lap top
And smiles
A deadly so insincere smile

His voice booms out

Welcome to Hell
My satanic slaves

I am Satan
Your new master

Each of you
Has been sentenced
To an eternity of torture

And the punishment
Must fit the crime

So, for you
Mr. Jake Cosmos Aller
Failed aspiring poet
And novelist

Your torture
Is to be strapped
To that bed

Unable to move
As you are filled
With the need
To **** and ****

But you cannot move
And your skin
Is crawling with bugs

And itchy
as Hell so to speak
and you are so sleepy

but you cannot sleep

the TV will play
endless repeats

Of some of the worst TV
and movie shows
ever produced

Starting with my favorite
A Series of Unfortunate Events

Featuring your favor annoying little girl
Carmetta! Singing for you forever
As you are the ultimate cake sniffer

Welcome to Hell


Rafting Towards Hell
I woke up
To find myself
Rafting down a river

I looked up
At the cliffs
Towering above
the roaring torrent

and see the dark demons
of my terrible nightmares
chasing the boat
firing flaming arrows

and I see werewolves
goblins, ghosts and monsters
running along the river bed
screaming obscenities

as they chase me
to my doom

and I see the waterfall ahead
and see my pending doom

as I rush over the edge
of reason



Micro Stories
53 word stories regarding unheeded warnings
Don’t Go Jogging in the Middle of the Night
It all started with a jog in the middle of the night. Despite my wife’s warning don’t go jogging in the middle of the night.  Broke me heal in a million pieces, 14 operations ensured, mutant MDR Staff almost killed me, almost lost the leg. . should have listened to her warning.

Don’t touch this button!
Don’t touch this button the former President said.  I said, what this button? And that led to the launching of nuclear weapons, going to defon three, and world war 3 with millions of people dead end of civilization moment. Should not have touched the red button.
Don’t open the door
When you find yourself running for your life chased by demons from hell and backed into a corner in a burning house filled with flames and are about to die in a million horrible ways you remembered that they warned you not to open door number three in this crazy reality TV show.
Don’t go to the theater tonight stay home with me
Mary Todd Lincoln had a vicious headache and was not in the mood to go out.  The President though ignored her wishes and told her that he had to go to the theater that night to show the world everything was okay now the war was ending.  Should have listened to her.
Don’t go to Dallas I have a bad feeling about the trip
Jackie was known for her moods and her premonitions. Something the President found both amusing an annoying. She told him that she a vision of death waiting for him in Dallas that day.  The President dismissed her foolishness as he put it and went to Dallas to meet his fate.
true love story.
In 1974 I had the first dream. While sleeping in a boring class, I saw a beautiful Asian woman standing at me speaking a foreign language. I fell out of chair yelling who are you?   I began having the same dream month after month for eight years.  One day I realized she was in Korea so I went there in the Peace Corps to meet her. In 1982 I had the last dream.  She said don’t worry we meet soon. That night she walked off a bus, out of the dream and into my life.  We’ve been married 37 years.
Cheating Death 22 Times
Also, a true story.
I have cheated death 22 times in my life.  I was born a preemie, almost died at birth, and had all the childhood illness at once.  In 1979 I came down with Typhoid  fever in Korea in the Peace Corps.  In 1991 almost got hit by a train. In 1996-1997 had 14 operations due to a mutant drug resistant staph infection, almost died several times.  In 1997 I had an acute stomach ailment that almost killed me, due to excessive antibiotic usage, if I had waited 30 minutes more would have been dead.  And had dengue in 2010.
Guardian Angel Saves My Life
Another true story
In 1990, I was teaching ESL in Korea.  My wife and I drove to the East Coast of Korea for a weekend away. She was in the US Army then.  As we drove towards Sorak mountain, I was filled with the need to get off the road right then. I had a premonition of doom, so did my wife. We got off to drive around another park returned a few minutes later and saw a 25 car pileup. We would have been dead if we had not listened to that inner voice telling us get off now.

Medical Mystery
Another true story
Back in 1996, when I was in the hospital fighting a mutant staph infection after a disastrous jogging accident that led to 14 operations, the internal medicine doctor said that there was something else going on. He finally discovered that I had a rare parasite, a tape worm of sorts that remained inert, its only becomes active if you take steroids then it blows up like a basketball killing you instantly. Six months later I had to take steroids due to frozen shoulder syndrome, and if I had not gotten rid of it, I would have died a medical mystery.

SLA Hit List
True story

Back in 1974 my father was a local politician in Berkeley, California who was on the SLA’***** list as “an enemy of the people, a fascist insect that needed to be killed”.  His crime?  As President of the community college district, he began requiring IDS for students and staff to combat campus crime at the local community colleges.  We had 24/7 police coverage for a while. One morning I saluted my father, “good morning fascist insect”.  My father, being of Germanic stock did not like the joke as jokes are alien to the German DNA.


the End
based on dreams and nightmares
Ashley Mar 2011
I.
Sirens ring out as warnings
amongst the patients of the ward.
Now the world will end in a firey
apocalypse. They've found me out
for the bad I am and now I must
suffer. I walk from room to room
looking for the grim reaper;
a nurse finds me
and tells me that the fire alarm
will be shut off soon.

II.
God is bringing me warnings
to never visit this place again.
She's an old lady and has been here
for a long time. The apocalypse
is coming sooner than I thought.
Another from the poems I'm writing about my mental breakdown/ psych ward hospitalization. I was delusional, so I thought the apocalypse was coming. It's so crazy, looking back on it, but it seemed so real at the time.
sunshine Oct 2015
lightning
silent warnings
some don't notice
others see but remain quiet
then there are those who speak up
but just don't understand the
seriousness of the damage
I am a lot like lightning

a.a.
mark john junor Feb 2014
the nature of this night
spreads its thin harvest upon my table
a gruel and water porridge feast
with the fanfares of her jaundiced hand
many more lined up with eager grin
for the warmth of paupers kinship
thin blanket wrapped round our shoulders
snow gathers at feet
she captures the moment on paper
the image of all of us gathered like when we were young

the grandiose illustration
with its brilliant colour fanfare with
jugglers and wine swilling laughing men blinded by drink
chorus line of female dancers who wear costumes of the hundred years war
lead the assault on the last bastions of the ignorance of bliss
all descrying that we can ill afford to be sleeping
while empires are built in our namesake
the so daintily shod soldiers whos feminine wiles misunderstood
have taken over the dancehall beneath us
and have taken up song
the grandiose illustration
caught by her pen on sketch pad
has leanings to the Marxist revolutions
and philosophys of the rhetorical
but in the end we join them and
drink the port sing the song

a thousand years of tales to be told
in the eyes of a single girls sweet thoughts
epic landscapes filled with noble men and storybook girls
the grandiose illustration
shows the two of us on the beach
with the sun racing down to touch the high towers of miami
and fill the laughing joys of thouse who toss and
tumble in the breaking waves
the nature of this night
in one small corner of the illustration
a simple window with the shade drawn
that says goodnight
jennifer wayland May 2014
step number one: read the book wintergirls.
tuck away every detail like you're cramming for a test.
dog-ear the pages and carry it with you like a travel guide.
decide that with your fingers and toes always icy cold for as long as you can remember,
you were destined to be a wintergirl.
reread it periodically, for inspirational purposes.

step two: download the myfitnesspal app.
use it to track every calorie you put into your body.
memorize that an oreo has seventy calories, an apple has one hundred, a cup of hot chocolate has eighty,
a bagel has two hundred seventy (a number that terrifies you),
and on and on and on.
let numbers float behind your eyes just before you go to bed,
and let them stay there as you throw off the covers to do guilty pushups and situps in your room
for twenty minutes (burning one hundred and twenty calories).
ignore the warnings shouted at you in red text
when you eat less than twelve hundred calories per day.
look at the projections it gives you for five weeks from now
with weights that seem both too small and too large at the same time.
when your net for the day hits the negatives after weeks of trying,
feel the slightest pang of satisfaction.

step three: find your "thinspiration".
make a tumblr just to look at pictures of jutting-out spines and thigh gaps and ribs.
hold your phone up next to your reflection in the mirror
and pick out everywhere your body differs from hers.
when the girls on the fitness blogs start looking too heavy for your goal,
find the eating-disorder blogs.
obsess over their bodies almost as much as you obsess over yours,
but not quite as much.

step four: begin losing weight.
imagine yourself floating away, feather-light.
imagine yourself becoming skin and bones.
imagine this as you drag your heavy body from class to class,
as your muscles waste from malnutrition.
imagine this as you have to clean your hairbrush out
three times while you work tangles from your hair.
imagine this as you snap at anyone and everyone,
as you spend hours locked in your room.

step five: become a poet and write about yourself.
romanticize your own demons, just by calling them demons.
use as many metaphors as you can,
to avoid the harsh language of the truth.
and especially avoid writing about the crippling guilt
that hits you when you eat too much,
you're fat you're worthless you'll never be anything,
and hits you when you don't eat enough,
what's wrong with you how did you let it get to this point
voices in your head never abating.
avoid writing about your lack of motivation and constant exhaustion and always,
always, use words that imply mystery.
describe your mind as foggy, call your body diminishing.
never say it how it is, because you could convince yourself to quit.
never say that it's torture and you're in pain
and you just wish you were eight again, never considering this path.
never say that you need help but you don't want help.

if you have the urge to say these things,
say only that this disorder is not one you would willingly give up,
because you finally have something to control.
because it is the truth,
but it is also the romanticized truth.
trigger warning, obviously. this just came out of nowhere the other day. apologies for how harsh/offensive it may be.
Layla Thurman Sep 2014
The Radio is turned up loud
And we're all just singing along
With the windows down

We don't know where we're going
Just off into the future
To chase our dreams elsewhere

Were young and were dumb
Couldn't care less to listen
To the warnings our parents gave us

Then in the blink of an eye
All our life is flashing
Like the headlights we didn't see

In a moment caught in a car crash
All the radio plays
Is the silence of our beating hearts
Frank Ruland Oct 2014
Good--I'm glad I have your attention.
Look, I don't have much time
before those nut-hoarding *******
discover my secret contentions!
The furry devils want what's yours and mine
and won't stop until we're captured!
Some people think I'm lost my mind
but I think I can trust you with my words.
As I speak, those tree scurrying devils
spy upon all us of from behind!
Some fools think I'm absurd,
but in their pompous accusations I revel!
The heathens aren't just burying nuts--
no, food storage isn't what this is about.
They get what they need from bird feeders.
They've finally gathered enough guts
to plant listening devices all around,
while they listen inside oaks and cedars.
They want to take over the human race
and steal our resources for their own use.
The cretins are smarter than you think!
They feel scorned by the genocide taken place--
rendering them roadkill--flattening their faces!
We run them over; drive them to the brink,
and for this they wish to make us pay.
Please, heed my warnings and prepare
for a war unlike any you have ever seen!
There is carnage coming this way,
to be dealt by tiny, fuzzy hands, but don't despair.
It's not too late to stop their regime!
Shelby Young Oct 2012
it’s a long road to walk

with the devil on my back

weighing down my thoughts

veering me off track



it’s a twisted path to tread

with your face inside my mind

your voice inside my head

if only death would be so kind



it’s a tempting street to run

with the desperate and the rats

only seeking out some fun

never once glancing back



it’s a desolate trail i lead

with ghosts, my only friends

spewing warnings i should heed

will i ever reach the end?
Emily S Apr 2018
There are warnings
You are always warned
Don't eat the candy
Stay in at night
Lock the door.
There are always warnings
Always warning you
But for the second
You are tempted
You remember vaguely
The constant background warning
But you were never given
The stories behind them.
You are tempted
You forget
You fall, and end changed.
Now you are a story.
Now you warn.
There are always warnings.
Vaguely Neil Gaiman-inspired. I love the little vague creepy stories he sometimes does in the prologues of his short story collections.
Robert G Page Mar 2015
by
rgpage

hollow now my world has grown
with age that time has ****** on me.
from carefree childhood days i'd known,
from days of climbing in a tree.

from summer sunlit mornings
from sundays in the park.
i didn't see time's warnings
or see the sun grow dark.

i didn't see the stranger
who followed me one day.
i didn't sense the danger
as i went off to play.

with eager youth i left from home
the world was my shell.
i didn't see the stranger
who'd lead me to my hell.

i'd lifted weights with youthful ease
these weights now known as life.
did what i wanted as i pleased;
i took myself a wife.

and with my wife we had a child
we had a baby boy.
with carefree sundays in the park
he filled our lives with joy.

we watched his life as he grew strong
'til off to war he went.
he told his mom, "it won't be long
until my journey's spent."

and as his ship pulled from the pier
i saw the stranger's face.
with deep set eyes he blankly starred,
he seemed so out of place.

i felt as if i'd known this man
had known him all my life.
in parks where as a youth i ran
and when i met my wife.

it wasn't long our son had gone
my wife had passed away.
and in the war he followed her
just six months to the day.

old and lonely now i sit
and watch the children play.
on carefree sundays in the park
until that final day.

a day in which the stranger comes
and takes me to my rest.
to my loving wife and son
upon my final breath.
Patricia Tsouros Sep 2013
Crazy passion fast deep soul kiss warnings word breathe reckless love devastated desk art struggle pinstripe attempts drunk ghost lost wind beauty hunger soul smile elegance latte knowing containment bond ink shallow identity measure chaos stumbling darling life dance frenzy sweat hole paper haunted only dreams ****** vandalized scars Achilles proceedings bare deep still pain inside lied courts darkness wind step empty rocky soul whisper eyes alone wrapped inside Athens love smile abuse truth lies time mind  bungalow knowing liar violated Pandora’s entanglement flashbacks ****** self-preservation private suit weakness baklava hide lips ******* played deserve hold earth destruction haunted coffin judgment dreams hands eternity sleep  sunset lips hidden kissed desire champagne stars taint lovers fallen what **** PR glistening intense echoes seeing taste depth care finally beach rolling salt binding heat lost quietly resumed park come believe myself arms world you skin love stranger now
Thanks to  Eliot York for his inspiration to tell my story in words from my Poems Love & Deception.
Kyle Kulseth Oct 2012
Another silent mid-Fall afternoon
Icy raindrops slash into my neck
The forecast calls for falling thumbtacks soon
One thin umbrella folding
Just 18 feet to the front step

With champagne acquainted
But forgot how to sip it
I slurp it down, eager,
'til I sit soaked and dripping

In time, fevered minds
will lower ears made for hearing
under waves of migraines
as mighty storm fronts are nearing

So I close down the bars and stumble home under awnings
Just to search for your name among newspaper cuttings
I've read the whole issue
and I've frowned over headlines
     put it down

Now, soaked or dry, I've got only time
I've wasted so much of it losing my mind
I'm blind in the rain that now sticks in my hide
     and they were right--
The forecast called for this squall to last all night

Another lonely mid-Fall morning walk
I follow gangs of specters in their steps
And, in the crunching gravel, ghosts will talk
November winds come howling
The second I leave my front step

The flavor's familiar
It comes back every morning,
when sunlight and sparrows
ignore tornado warnings

So the gales pick up strength
and a small bird's bones are hollow
The clouds lay oceans down
setting many sips to swallow

"So goodnight." I depart, but circle back in my wanderings
I'll always wind up here--shaky, ash-faced and yawning
I've read this before
it's printed on poor paper
     in red ink

I can't say why I'm still walking by
Those other front doorsteps that I never try
The thick thumbtack rain stopped but I can't stay dry
     the ghosts were right--
But if I find your name I might stop by.
Patricia Tsouros Apr 2014
Only Love

It began as a love story
Crazy days with you
Crazy days of faith, love, passion

We grew so close so fast
You said we were soul mates for life
I lost my world to you
I trusted you with my deepest thoughts
Most intimate moments
My future
Our future
Bonded with Artfetch
The future of art
We would make it together
A global player
Unwavering faith
In the chorus of warnings
I battled your place with me
Bold and revolutionary
No one would take this away from us

But then you did
You took it away
Without a word
You left me in a haze
Took my breath away
Your force so strong
Chaos controlled my mind
The lie so real
My passion abused
Reckless abandonment
My faith, my love, my passion
You did not face me
You left me with nothing
My life shattered

I wonder through my Art
Profoundly
A part of my life
For the delights and hopes of life
Seeing in them memories of intimate times
Calming my fears
My sadness
Evoking as only art can do
The spirit in me to live again
I no longer care
Why
I got lost in your deceit
In your ****** up mind
Why
You hunted me down
And played me as a game
Why
You abused my passion
My life
You crushed my soul,
I sit at my desk and find my dignity
My strength
I look around and see what I nearly lost
Artfetch the mystery of my life without which
I could not carry on

No more Crazy Days living your lie
A resounding realisation
No soul in you
I continue
To live my dream
So as I sum this up
Go listen to our song
Remember in your heart
I gave you my heart and soul, my mind and body
My life
I believed in you
I am wishing for you to stay strong
Wish upon every star you see
And if its meant to be it will come true…
No more Crazy Days with You
Tammy M Darby Jul 2013
Happy Valentines Day

If Venus child
Come loves melody sing
I shall break the bow
And slash the string

If he dare to infect me
Trick my heart into desire
Seasoned on a spit he will be
Roasted in a blazing fire

Conniving
Whisper sweet nothings in my ear
Tear off his wings
Turn my eyes from his tears

Not by the all the gods decree
Will I commit my love to another
Binding his mischievous hands
Return him swiftly to his mother

My warnings are clear
Unheeded
Towards me he point the arrow
His last sweet breath
This cherub shall inhale
Never more see the morrow



This poem is copyrighted and stored in author base.  All material subject to Copyright Infringement laws
Section 512(c)(3) of the U.S. Copyright
Act, 17 U.S.C. S512(c)(3),
Tammy M. Darby
Rob Rutledge Oct 2016
The wind speaks in warnings
Passed fast from leaf to leaf.
The rustle of the undergrow
Stirs firm in disbelief.
Pitters and patters scatter
The fallen pain.
The last acorn of the season
Falls,
A final act of treason.
A beacon among the coming rain.
Kristo Frost Mar 2013
Parallel tremors follow your heavy footsteps through the moss that carpets a maze of tired oak. Solemn warnings calcify soft thoughts and point you at the coal on the horizon. Its splinterglow peeks hot squints through the arboreal tangle. Topaz streams convene and braid themselves around your spine. The stones in the riverbed grow smoother and each becomes a grain of sand. You let the sand console your roots as you curl your toes and fall asleep.
Coyote Siren Apr 2012
in ear shot, passing by
you can hear warnings on
the street signs

death,
it stops breathing,
holding holding
until you’re no longer separate

it sprints through city streets
gracefully stretches out of hospital beds
folding blankets, fluffing pillows
waits next to us

death is fragile,
shatters on pavement
falls in cracks and
drifts and dries

how many of us have died walking
through a doorway
could so much be forgotten
Suzy Berlinsky Nov 2020
HIGHLIGHTS OF PRESCRIBING INFORMATION
These highlights do not include all the information needed to us e
M-M-R II safely and effectively. See full prescribing information
for M-M-R II.
M-M-R® II (Measles, Mumps, and Rubella Virus Vaccine Live)
Suspension for subcutaneous injection
Initial U.S. Approv al: 1978
-------------------------------INDICATIONS AND USAGE-------------------------------
M-M-R II is a vaccine indicated for active immunization for the
prevention of measles, mumps, and rubella in individuals 12 months of
age and older. (1)
-------------------------- DOSAGE AND ADMINISTRATION--------------------------
Administer a 0.5-mL dose of M-M-R II subcutaneously. (2.1)
• The first dose is administered at 12 to 15 months of age. (2.1)
• The second dose is administered at 4 to 6 years of age. (2.1)
------------------------DOSAGE FORMS AND STRENGTHS -----------------------
Suspension for injection (0.5-mL dose) supplied as a lyophilized
vaccine to be reconstituted using accompanying sterile diluent. (3)
---------------------------------- CONTRAINDICATIONS ----------------------------------
• Hypersensitivity to any componentof the vaccine. (4.1)
• Immunosuppression. (4.2)
• Moderate or severe febrile illness. (4.3)
• Active untreated tuberculosis. (4.4)
• Pregnancy. (4.5, 8.1)
-------------------------- WARNINGS AND PRECAUTIONS --------------------------
• Use caution when administering M-M-R II to individuals with a
history of febrile seizures. (5.1)
• Use caution when administering M-M-R II to individuals with
anaphylaxis or immediate hypersensitivity following egg ingestion.
(5.2)
• Use caution when administering M-M-R II to individuals with a
history of thrombocytopenia. (5.3)
• Immune Globulins (IG) and other blood products should not be
given concurrently with M-M-R II. (5.4, 7.2)
----------------------------------ADVERSE REACTIONS----------------------------------
See full prescribing information for adverse reactions occurring duri ng
clinical trialsor the post-marketing period. (6)
To report SUSPECTED ADVERSE REACTIONS, contact Merck
Sharp & Dohme Corp., a subsidiary of Merck & Co., Inc., at 1-8 7 7 -
888-4231 or VAERS at 1-800-822-7967 or www.vaers.hhs.gov.
-----------------------------------DRUG INTERACTIONS----------------------------------
• Administration of immune globulins and other blood products
concurrently with M-M-R II vaccine may interfere with the
expected immune response. (7.2)
• M-M-R II vaccination may result in a temporary depression of
purified protein derivative (PPD) tuberculin skin sensitivity. (7.3)
-------------------------- USE IN SPECIFIC POPULATIONS--------------------------
• Pregnancy: Do not administer M-M-R II to females who are
pregnant. Pregnancy should be avoided for 1 month following
vaccination with M-M-R II. (4.5, 8.1, 17)
See 17 for PATIENT COUNSELING INFORMATION and FDA
approv ed patient labeling.
Rev ised: 06/2020
FULL PRESCRIBING INFORMATION: CONTENTS
1 INDICATIONS AND USAGE
2 DOSAGE AND ADMINISTRATION
2.1 Dose and Schedule
2.2 Preparation andAdministration
3 DOSAGE FORMS AND STRENGTHS
4 CONTRAINDICATIONS
4.1 Hypersensitivity
4.2 Immunosuppression
4.3 Moderate or Severe Febrile Illness
4.4 Active Untreated Tuberculosis
4.5 Pregnancy
5 WARNINGS AND PRECAUTIONS
5.1 Febrile Seizure
5.2 Hypersensitivity to Eggs
5.3 Thrombocytopenia
5.4 Immune Globulins and Transfusions
6 ADVERSE REACTIONS
7 DRUG INTERACTIONS
7.1 Corticosteroids and Immunosuppressive Drugs
7.2 Immune Globulinsand Transfusions
7.3 Tuberculin Skin Testing
7.4 Use with Other Live Viral Vaccines
8 USE IN SPECIFIC POPULATIONS
8.1 Pregnancy
8.2 Lactation
8.4 Pediatric Use
8.5 Geriatric Use
11 DESCRIPTION
12 CLINICAL PHARMACOLOGY
12.1 Mechanism of Action
12.6 Persistence of Antibody Responses After Vaccination
13 NONCLINICAL TOXICOLOGY
13.1 Carcinogenesis, Mutagenesis, Impairment of Fertility
14 CLINICAL STUDIES
14.1 Clinical Efficacy
14.2 Immunogenicity
15 REFERENCES
16 HOW SUPPLIED/STORAGE AND HANDLING
17 PATIENT COUNSELING INFORMATION
Sections or subsections omitted from the full prescribing info rma tion
are not listed.
2
FULL PRESCRIBING INFORMATION
1 INDICATIONS AND USAGE
M-M-R® II is a vaccine indicated for active immunization for the prevention of measles, mumps, and
rubella in individuals 12 months of age and older.
2 DOSAGE AND ADMINISTRATION
For subcutaneous use only.
2.1 Dose and Schedule
Each 0.5 mL dose is administered subcutaneously.
The first dose is administered at 12 to 15 months of age. A second dose is administered at 4 to 6
years of age.
The second dose may be administered prior to 4 years of age, provided that there is a minimum
interval of one month between the doses of measles, mumps and rubella virus vaccine, live {1-2}.
Children who received an initial dose of measles, mumps and rubella vaccine prior to their first
birthday should receive additional doses of vaccine at 12-15 months of age and at 4-6 years of age to
complete the vaccination series [see Clinical Studies (14.2)].
For post-exposure prophylaxis for measles, administer a dose of M-M-R II vaccine within 72 hours
after exposure.
2.2 Preparation and Administration
Use a sterile syringe free of preservatives, antiseptics, and detergents for each injection and/or
reconstitution of the vaccine because these substances may inactivate the live virus vaccine. To
reconstitute, use only the diluent supplied with the vaccine since it is free of preservatives or other
antiviral substances which might inactivate the vaccine.
Withdraw the entire volume of the supplied diluent from its vial and inject into lyophilized vaccine vial.
Agitate to dissolve completely. Discard if the lyophilized vaccine cannot be dissolved.
Withdraw the entire volume of the reconstituted vaccine and inject subcutaneously into the outer
aspect of the upper arm (deltoid region) or into the higher anterolateral area of the thigh.
Parenteral drug products should be inspected visually for particulate matter and discoloration prior to
administration, whenever solution and container permit. Visually inspect the vaccine before and after
reconstitution prior to administration. Before reconstitution, the lyophilized vaccine is a light yellow
compact crystalline plug, when reconstituted, is a clear yellow liquid. Discard if particulate matter or
discoloration are observed in the reconstituted vaccine.
To minimize loss of potency, administer M-M-R II as soon as possible after reconstitution. If not used
immediately, the reconstituted vaccine may be stored between 36°F to 46°F (2°C to 8°C), protected from
light, for up to 8 hours. Discard reconstituted vaccine if it is not used within 8 hours.
3 DOSAGE FORMS AND STRENGTHS
M-M-R II vaccine is a suspension for injection supplied as a single dose vial of lyophilized vaccine to
be reconstituted using the accompanying sterile diluent [see Dosage and Administration (2.2) and How
Supplied/Storage and Handling (16)]. A single dose after reconstitution is 0.5 mL.
4 CONTRAINDICATIONS
4.1 Hypersensitivity
Do not administer M-M-R II vaccine to individuals with a history of hypersensitivity to any component
of the vaccine (including gelatin) {3} or who have experienced a hypersensitivity reaction following
administration of a previous dose of M-M-R II vaccine or any other measles, mumps and rubellacontaining vaccine. Do not administer M-M-R II vaccine to individuals with a history of anaphylaxis to
neomycin [see Description (11)].
4.2 Immunosuppression
Do not administer M-M-R II vaccine to individuals who are immunodeficient or immunosuppressed due
to disease or medical therapy. Measles inclusion body encephalitis {4} (MIBE), pneumonitis {5} and death
as a direct consequence of disseminated measles vaccine virus infection have been reported in
3
immunocompromised individuals inadvertently vaccinated with measles-containing vaccine. In this
population, disseminated mumps and rubella vaccine virus infection have also been reported.
Do not administer M-M-R II to individuals with a family history of congenital or hereditary
immunodeficiency, until the immune competence of the potential vaccine recipient is demonstrated.
4.3 Moderate or Severe Febrile Illness
Do not administer M-M-R II vaccine to individuals with an active febrile illness with fever >101.3F
(>38.5C).
4.4 Active Untreated Tuberculosis
Do not administer M-M-R II vaccine to individuals with active untreated tuberculosis (TB).
4.5 Pregnancy
Do not administer M-M-R II to individuals who are pregnant or who are planning on becoming
pregnant within the next month [see Use in Specific Populations (8.1) and Patient Counseling Information
(17)].
5 WARNINGS AND PRECAUTIONS
5.1 Febrile Seizure
There is a risk of fever and associated febrile seizure in the first 2 weeks following immunization with
M-M-R II vaccine. For children who have experienced a previous febrile seizure (from any cause) and
those with a family history of febrile seizures there is a small increase in risk of febrile seizure following
receipt of M-M-R II vaccine [see Adverse Reactions (6)].
5.2 Hypersensitivity to Eggs
Individuals with a history of anaphylactic, anaphylactoid, or other immediate reactions (e.g., hives,
swelling of the mouth and throat, difficulty breathing, hypotension, or shock) subsequent to egg ingestion
may be at an enhanced risk of immediate-type hypersensitivity reactions after receiving M-M-R II vaccine
.The potential risks and known benefits should be evaluated before considering vaccination in these
individuals.
5.3 Thrombocytopenia
Transient thrombocytopenia has been reported within 4-6 weeks following vaccination with measles,
mumps and rubella vaccine. Carefully evaluate the potential risk and benefit of vaccination in children
with thrombocytopenia or in those who experienced thrombocytopenia after vaccination with a previous
dose of measles, mumps, and rubella vaccine {6-8} [see Adverse Reactions (6)].
5.4 Immune Globulins and Transfusions
Immune Globulins (IG) and other blood products should not be given concurrently with M-M-R II [see
Drug Interactions (7.2)]. These products may contain antibodies that interfere with vaccine virus
replication and decrease the expected immune response.
The ACIP has specific recommendations for intervals between administration of antibody containing
products and live virus vaccines.
6 ADVERSE REACTIONS
The following adverse reactions include those identified during clinical trials or reported during postapproval use of M-M-R II vaccine or its individual components.
Body as a Whole
Panniculitis; atypical measles; fever; syncope; headache; dizziness; malaise; irritability.
Cardiovascular System
Vasculitis.
Digestive System
Pancreatitis; diarrhea; vomiting; parotitis; nausea.
Hematologic and Lymphatic Systems
Thrombocytopenia; purpura; regional lymphadenopathy; leukocytosis.
Immune System
Anaphylaxis, anaphylactoid reactions, angioedema (including peripheral or ****** edema) and
bronchial spasm.
Musculoskeletal System
Arthritis; arthralgia; myalgia.
4
Nervous System
Encephalitis; encephalopathy; measles inclusion body encephalitis (MIBE) subacute sclerosing
panencephalitis (SSPE); Guillain-Barré Syndrome (GBS); acute disseminated encephalomyelitis (ADEM);
transverse myelitis; febrile convulsions; afebrile convulsions or seizures; ataxia; polyneuritis;
polyneuropathy; ocular palsies; paresthesia.
Respiratory System
Pneumonia; pneumonitis; sore throat; cough; rhinitis.
Skin
Stevens-Johnson syndrome; acute hemorrhagic edema of infancy; Henoch-Schönlein purpura;
erythema multiforme; urticaria; rash; measles-like rash; pruritus; injection site reactions (pain, erythema,
swelling and vesiculation).
Special Senses — Ear
Nerve deafness; otitis media.
Special Senses — Eye
Retinitis; optic neuritis; papillitis; conjunctivitis.
Urogenital System
Epididymitis; orchitis.
7 DRUG INTERACTIONS
7.1 Corticosteroids and Immunosuppressive Drugs
M-M-R II vaccine should not be administered to individuals receiving immunosuppressive therapy,
including high dose corticosteroids. Vaccination with M-M-R II vaccine can result in disseminated disease
due to measles vaccine in individuals on immunosuppressive drugs [see Contraindications (4.2)].
7.2 Immune Globulinsand Transfusions
Administration of immune globulins and other blood products concurrently with M-M-R II vaccine may
interfere with the expected immune response {9-11} [see Warnings and Precautions (5.4)]. The ACIP has
specific recommendations for intervals between administration of antibody containing products and live
virus vaccines.
7.3 Tuberculin Skin Testing
It has been reported that live attenuated measles, mumps and rubella virus vaccines given individually
may result in a temporary depression of tuberculin skin sensitivity. Therefore, if a tuberculin skin test with
tuberculin purified protein derivative (PPD) is to be done, it should be administered before, simultaneously
with, or at least 4 to 6 weeks after vaccination with M-M-R II vaccine.
7.4 Use with Other Live Viral Vaccines
M-M-R II vaccine can be administered concurrently with other live viral vaccines. If not given
concurrently, M-M-R II vaccine should be given one month before or one month after administration of
other live viral vaccines to avoid potential for immune interference.
8 USE IN SPECIFIC POPULATIONS
8.1 Pregnancy
Risk Summary
M-M-R II vaccine is contraindicated for use in pregnant women because infection during pregnancy
with the wild-type viruses has been associated with maternal and fetal adverse outcomes.
Increased rates of spontaneous abortion, stillbirth, premature delivery and congenital defects have
been observed following infection with wild-type measles during pregnancy. {12,13} Wild-type mumps
infection during the first trimester of pregnancy may increase the rate of spontaneous abortion.
Infection with wild-type rubella during pregnancy can lead to miscarriage or stillbirth. If rubella infection
occurs during the first trimester of pregnancy, it can result in severe congenital defects, Congenital
Rubella Syndrome (CRS). Congenital rubella syndrome in the infant includes but is not limited to eye
manifestations (cataracts, glaucoma, retinitis), congenital heart defects, hearing loss, microcephaly, and
intellectual disabilities. M-M-R II vaccine contains live attenuated measles, mumps and rubella viruses. It
is not known whether M-M-R II vaccine can cause fetal harm when administered to pregnant woman.
There are no adequate and well-controlled studies of M-M-R II vaccine administration to pregnant
women.
5
All pregnancies have a risk of birth defect, loss or other adverse outcomes. In the US general
population, the estimated background risk of major birth defects and miscarriage in clinically recognized
pregnancies is 2% to 4% and 15% to 20%, respectively.
Available data suggest the rates of major birth defects and miscarriage in women who received
M-M-R II vaccine within 30 days prior to pregnancy or during pregnancy are consistent with estimated
background rates (see Data).
Data
Human Data
A cumulative assessment of post-marketing reports for M-M-R II vaccine from licensure 01 April 1978
through 31 December 2018, identified 796 reports of inadvertent administration of M-M-R II vaccine
occurring 30 days before or at any time during pregnancy with known pregnancy outcomes. Of the
prospectively followed pregnancies for whom the timing of M-M-R II vaccination was known, 425 women
received M-M-R II vaccine during the 30 days prior to conception through the second trimester. The
outcomes for these 425 prospectively followed pregnancies included 16 infants with major birth defects, 4
cases of fetal death and 50 cases of miscarriage. No abnormalities compatible with congenital rubella
syndrome have been identified in patients who received M-M-R II vaccine. Rubella vaccine viruses can
cross the placenta, leading to asymptomatic infection of the fetus. Mumps vaccine virus has also been
shown to infect the placenta {14}, but there is no evidence that it causes congenital malformations or
disease in the fetus or infant .
The CDC established the Vaccine in Pregnancy registry (1971-1989) of women who had received
rubella vaccines within 3 months before or after conception. Data on 1221 inadvertently vaccinated
pregnant women demonstrated no evidence of an increase in fetal abnormalities or cases of Congenital
Rubella Syndrome (CRS) in the enrolled women {15}.
8.2 Lactation
Risk Summary
It is not known whether measles or mumps vaccine virus is secreted in human milk. Studies have
shown that lactatingpostpartum women vaccinated with live attenuated rubella vaccine may secrete the
virus in breast milk and transmit it to breast-fed infants.{16,17} In the breast-fed infants with serological
evidence of rubella virus vaccine strain antibodies, none exhibited severe disease; however, one
exhibited mild clinical illness typical of acquired rubella.{18,19}
The developmental and health benefits of breastfeeding should be considered along with the mother’s
clinical need for M-M-R II, and any potential adverse effects on the breastfed child from M-M-R II or from
the underlying maternal condition. For preventive vaccines, the underlying maternal condition is
susceptibility to disease prevented by the vaccine.
8.4 Pediatric Use
M-M-R II vaccine is not approved for individuals less than 12 months of age. Safety and effectiveness
of measles vaccine in infants below the age of 6 months have not been established [see Clinical Studies
(14)]. Safety and effectiveness of mumps and rubella vaccine in infants less than 12 months of age have
not been established.
8.5 Geriatric Use
Clinical studies of M-M-R II did not include sufficient numbers of seronegative subjects aged 65 and
over to determine whether they respond differently from younger subjects.
11 Description
M-M-R II vaccine is a sterile lyophilized preparation of (1) Measles Virus Vaccine Live, an attenuated
line of measles virus, derived from Enders' attenuated Edmonston strain and propagated in chick embryo
cell culture; (2) Mumps Virus Vaccine Live, the Jeryl Lynn™ (B level) strain of mumps virus propagated in
chick embryo cell culture; and (3) Rubella Virus Vaccine Live, the Wistar RA 27/3 strain of live attenuated
rubella virus propagated in WI-38 human diploid lung fibroblasts. {20,21} The cells, virus pools,
recombinant human serum albumin and fetal bovine serum used in manufacturing are tested and
determined to be free of adventitious agents.
After reconstitution, each 0.5 mL dose contains not less than 3.0 log10 TCID50 (tissue culture infectious
doses) of measles virus; 4.1 log10 TCID50 of mumps virus; and 3.0 log10 TCID50 of rubella virus.
Each dose is calculated to contain sorbitol (14.5 mg), sucrose(1.9 mg), hydrolyzed gelatin (14.5 mg),
recombinant human albumin (≤0.3 mg), fetal bovine serum (<1 ppm), approximately 25 mcg of neomycin
and other buffer and media ingredients. The product contains no preservative.
6
12 CLINICAL PHARMACOLOGY
12.1 Mechanism of Action
M-M-R II vaccination induces antibodies to measles, mumps, and rubella associated with protection
which can be measured by neutralization assays, hemagglutination-inhibition (HI) assays, or enzyme
linked immunosorbent assay (ELISA) tests. Results from efficacy studies or effectivenes s studies that
were previously conducted for the component vaccines of M-M-R II were used to define levels of serum
antibodies that correlated with protection against measles, mumps, and rubella [see Clinical Studies (14)].
12.6 Persistence of Antibody Responses After Vaccination
Neutralizing and ELISA antibodies to measles, mumps, and rubella viruses are still detectable in 95-
100%, 74-91%, and 90-100% of individuals respectively, 11 to 13 years after primary vaccination. {22-28}
13 NONCLINICAL TOXICOLOGY
13.1 Carcinogenesis, Mutagenesis, Impairment of Fertility
M-M-R II vaccine has not been evaluated for carcinogenic or mutagenic potential or impairment of
fertility.
14 CLINICAL STUDIES
14.1 Clinical Efficacy
Efficacy of measles, mumps, and rubella vaccines was established in a series of double-blind
controlled trials. {29-34} These studies also established that seroconversion in response to vaccination
against measles, mumps and rubella paralleled protection. {35-38}
14.2 Immunogenicity
Clinical studies enrolling 284 triple seronegative children, 11 months to 7 years of age, demonstrated
that M-M-R II vaccine is immunogenic. In these studies, a single injection of the vaccine induced measles
HI antibodies in 95%, mumps neutralizing antibodies in 96%, and rubella HI antibodies in 99% of
susceptible individuals.
A study of 6-month-old and 15-month-old infants born to mothers vaccinated with a measles vaccine in
childhood, demonstrated that, following infant and toddler vaccination with Measles Virus Vaccine, Live
(previously US-licensed, manufactured by Merck), 74% of the 6-month-old infants developed detectable
neutralizing antibody titers while 100% of the 15-month-old infants vaccinated with Measles Virus
Vaccine, Live or M-M-R II vaccine developed neutralizing antibodies {39}. When the 6-month-old infants
of immunized mothers were revaccinated at 15 months with M-M-R II vaccine, they developed antibody
titers similar to those of toddlers who were vaccinated previously at 15-months of age.
15 REFERENCES
1. General Recommendations on Immunization, Recommendations of the Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices, MMWR
43(RR-1): 1-38, January 28, 1994.
2. Measles, Mumps, and Rubella — Vaccine Use and Strategies for Elimination of Measles, Rubella, a n d Co n g e nita l Ru b e lla
Syndrome and Control of Mumps: Recommendations of the Advisory Committee on Immunization Practice s (ACIP), M M WR
47(RR-8): May 22, 1998.
3. Kelso, J.M.; Jones, R.T.; Yunginger, J.W.: Anaphylaxis to measles, mumps, and rubella vaccine mediated by IgE to gel atin , J.
Allergy Clin. Immunol. 91: 867-872, 1993.
4. Bitnum, A.; et al: Measles Inclusion Body Encephalitis Caused by the Vaccine Strain of Measles Virus. Cl i n . In fect. Di s. 2 9 :
855-861, 1999.
5. Angel, J.B.; et al: Vaccine Associated Measles Pneumonitis in an Adult with AIDS. Annals of Internal Medicine, 129: 1 0 4 -1 06 ,
1998.
6. Cecinati V, et al. Vaccine administration and the development of immune thrombocyto pe ni c p urp u ra i n ch i ld re n. Hu m an
Vaccines & Immunotherapeutics 9:5, 2013.
7. Mantadakis E, Farmaki E, Buchanan GR. Thrombocytopenic Purpura after Measles-Mumps-Rubella Vaccination: A Systematic
Review of the Literature and Guidance for Management. J Ped 156(4): 2010.
8. Andrews N, Stowe J, Miller E, Svanstrom H, Johansen K, Bonhoeffer J, et al. A collaborative approach to investigating th e ri sk
of thrombocytopenic purpura after measles-mumps-rubella vaccination in England and Denmark. Vaccine. 2012;30:3042‐6.
9. Rubella Prevention: Recommendation of the Immunization Practices Advisory Committee (ACIP), MM WR 3 9 (RR-1 5 ): 1 -1 8 ,
November 23, 1990.
7
10. Peter, G.; et al (eds): Report of the Committee on Infectious Diseases, Twenty-fourth Edition, American Academy of Pediatri cs,
344-357, 1997.
11. Measles Prevention: Recommendations of the Immunization Practices Advisory Committee (ACIP), MMWR 38(S-9): 5-22,
December 29, 1989.
12. Eberhart-Phillips, J.E.; et al: Measles in pregnancy: a descriptive study of 58 cases. Obstetrics and Gynecology, 82(5): 797-801,
November 1993.
13. Jespersen, C.S.; et al: Measles as a cause of fetal defects: A retrospective study of ten measles epidemics in Greenland. Acta
Paediatr Scand. 66: 367-372, May 1977.
14. Yamauchi T, Wilson C, Geme JW Jr. Transmission of live, attenuated mumps virus to the hu m a n p l ace n ta . N En g l J M e d .
1974;290(13):710‐712.
15. Rubella Vaccination during Pregnancy —United States, 1971-1988. JAMA. 1989;261(23):3374–3383.
16. Losonsky, G.A.; Fishaut, J.M.; Strussenber, J.; Ogra, P.L.: Effect of immunization against rubella on lactation products. II.
Maternal-neonatal interactions, J. Infect. Dis. 145: 661-666,1982.
17. Losonsky, G.A.; Fishaut, J.M.; Strussenber, J.; Ogra, P.L.: Effect of immunization against rubella on lactation products. I.
Development and characterization of specific immunologic reactivity in breast milk, J. Infect. Dis. 145: 654-660, 1982.
18. Landes, R.D.; Bass, J.W.; Millunchick, E.W.; Oetgen, W.J.: Neonatal rubella following postpartum maternal i mm un izatio n , J.
Pediatr. 97: 465-467, 1980.
19. Lerman, S.J.: Neonatal rubella following postpartum maternal immunization, J. Pediatr. 98: 668, 1981. (Letter)
20. Plotkin, S.A.; Cornfeld, D.; Ingalls, T.H.: Studiesof immunization with living rubella virus: Trialsin children with a strain culture d
from an aborted fetus, Am. J. Dis. Child. 110: 381-389, 1965.
21. Plotkin, S.A.; Farquhar, J.; Katz, M.; Ingalls, T.H.: A new attenuated rubella virus grown in human fi bro b la sts: Evi d e n ce fo r
reduced nasopharyngeal excretion, Am. J. Epidemiol. 86: 468-477, 1967.
22. Weibel, R.E.; Carlson, A.J.; Villarejos, V.M.; Buynak, E.B.; McLean, A.A.; Hilleman, M.R.: Clinical and Labo ra tory Stu d ie s o f
Combined Live Measles, Mumps, and Rubella Vaccines Using the RA 27/3 Rubella Virus, Proc. So c. Exp . Bi ol. M e d. 1 6 5 :
323-326, 1980.
23. Watson, J.C.; Pearson, J.S.; Erdman, D.D.; et al: An Evaluation of Measles RevaccinationAmong School-Entry Age Ch i ld re n,
31st Interscience Conference on Antimicrobial Agents and Chemotherapy, Abstract #268, 143, 1991.
24. Unpublished data from the files of Merck Research Laboratories.
25. Davidkin, I.; Jokinen, S.; Broman, M. et al.: Persistence of Measles, Mumps, and Rubella Antibodies in a n M M R -Va ccina ted
Cohort: A 20-Year Follow-up, JID 197:950–6, April 2008.
26. LeBaron, W.; Beeler J.; Sullivan, B.; et al.: Persistence of Measles Antibodies After 2 Doses of Measles Vaccine in a
Postelimination Environment, Arch Pediatr Adolesc Med. 161:294-301, March 2007.
27. LeBaron, C.; Forghani, B.; Beck, C. et al.: Persistence of Mumps Antibodies after 2 Doses of Measles-Mumps-Rubella Vaccine,
JID 199:552– 60 , February 2009.
28. LeBaron, W.; Forghani, B.; Matter, L. et al.: Persistence of Rubella Antibodies after 2 Doses of Measles-Mumps-Rubella
Vaccine, JID 200:888–99, September 2009.
29. Hilleman, M.R.; Buynak, E.B.; Weibel, R.E.; et al: Development and Evaluation of the Moraten MeaslesVirusVa cci n e , JAM A
206(3): 587-590, 1968.
30. Weibel, R.E.; Stokes, J.; Buynak, E.B.; et al: Live, Attenuated Mumps Virus Vaccine 3. Clinical and Serologic Aspects in a Fiel d
Evaluation,N. Engl. J. Med. 276: 245-251, 1967.
31. Hilleman, M.R.; Weibel, R.E.; Buynak, E.B.; et al:Live, Attenuated Mumps VirusVaccine 4. ProtectiveEfficacy as Measure d i n
a Field Evaluation, N. Engl. J. Med. 276: 252-258, 1967.
32. Cutts, F.T.; Henderson, R.H.; Clements, C.J.; et al: Principles of measles control, Bull WHO 69(1): 1-7, 1991.
33. Weibel, R.E.; Buynak, E.B.; Stokes, J.; et al: Evaluation Of Live Attenuated Mumps Virus Vaccine, Strain Jeryl Lynn, First
International Conference on VaccinesAgainst Viral and Rickettsial Diseases of Man, World Health Organization, No. 147, M a y
1967.
34. Leibhaber, H.; Ingalls, T.H.; LeBouvier, G.L.; et al: Vaccination With RA 27/3 Rubella Vaccine, Am. J. Dis. Child. 123: 133-1 3 6,
February 1972.
35. Rosen, L.: Hemagglutination and Hemagglutination-Inhibition with Measles Virus, Virology 13: 139-141, January 1961.
36. Brown, G.C.; et al: Fluorescent-Antibody Marker for Vaccine-Induced Rubella Antibodies, Infection and Immunity 2(4): 360-363,
1970.
8
37. Buynak, E.B.; et al: Live Attenuated Mumps Virus Vaccine 1. Vaccine Development, Proceedings of the Society for
Experimental Biology and Medicine, 123: 768-775, 1966.
38. Hilleman M.R., Studies of Live Attenuated Measles Virus Vaccine in Man: II. Appraisal of Efficacy. Amer. J. o f Pu b l ic He a lth ,
52(2):44-56, 1962.
39. Johnson, C.E.; et al: Measles Vaccine Immunogenicity in 6- Versus 15-Month-Old Infants Born to Mothers in the Measles
Vaccine Era, Pediatrics, 93(6): 939-943, 1994.
16 HOW SUPPLIED/STORAGE AND HANDLING
No. 4681 ⎯ M-M-R II vaccine is supplied as follows:
(1) a box of 10 single-dose vials of lyophilized vaccine (package A), NDC 0006-4681-00
(2) a box of 10 vials of diluent (package B)
Exposure to light may inactivate the vaccine viruses.
Before reconstitution, refrigerate the lyophilized vaccine at 36°F to 46°F, (2°C to 8°C).
Store accompanying diluent in the refrigerator with the lyophilized vaccine or separately at room
temperature (68° to 77°F, 20° to 25°C). Do not freeze the diluent.
Administer M-M-R II vaccine as soon as possible after reconstitution. If not administered immediately,
reconstituted vaccine may be stored between 36°F to 46°F (2°C to 8°C), protected from light, for up to 8
hours. Discard reconstituted vaccine if it is not used within 8 hours.
For information regarding the product or questions regarding storage conditions, call 1-800-
MERCK-90 (1-800-637-2590).
17 PATIENT COUNSELING INFORMATION
Advise the patient to read the FDA-approved patient labeling (Patient Package Insert).
Discuss the following with the patient:
• Provide the required vaccine information to the patient, parent, or guardian.
• Inform the patient, parent, or guardian of the benefits and risks associated with vaccination.
• Question the patient, parent, or guardian about reactions to a previous dose of M-M-R II vaccine
or other measles-, mumps-, or rubella-containing vaccines.
• Question females of reproductive potential regarding the possibility of pregnancy. Inform female
patients to avoid pregnancy for 1 month following vaccination [see Contraindications (4.5) and
Use in Specific Populations (8.1)].
• Inform the patient, parent, or guardian that vaccination with M-M-R II may not offer 100%
protection from measles, mumps, and rubella infection.
• Instruct patients, parents, or guardians to report any adverse reactions to their health-care
provider. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has established a Vaccine
Adverse Event Reporting System (VAERS) to accept all reports of suspected adverse events
after the administration of any vaccine, including but not limited to the reporting of events required
by the National Childhood Vaccine Injury Act of 1986. For information or a copy of the vaccine
reporting form, call the VAERS toll-free number at 1-800-822-7967, or report online at
https://www.vaers.hhs.gov.
For patent information: www.merck.com/product/patent/home.html
Copyright © 1978-2020 Merck Sharp & Dohme Corp., a subsidiary of Merck & Co., Inc.
All rights reserved.
uspi-v205c-i-2006r009
karin naude Mar 2013
maturity admired exaggerated by far
assumed mutual care
me, stepped on Satans tail
ignoring elder warnings
believing Satans whispers
building, dreaming forging forever happiness on a whisper, sweat whisper
i enjoyed the dripping yellow whisper
smooth clear honey, flowed
my deity please remember me think me
i Begg for my soul, please mercy
please release my soul
ties that bind, please destroy
by faith alone, a righteous prayer
my redeemer lives
standing on faiths shoulder, my enemies crumble and fall
father please forgive an ignorant youth no more
old spit out toy, emotionless
the road is hard, please carry me
by faith alone, by faith alone
Scot Powers Jan 2013
Silent warnings
dimly perceived
shadows falling
like dead leaves

Just another story
like you and me
dissedent reason
can't ever please

Standing alone
in a crowd
waiting for emotions
to cloud

Cant stand inside the ring
cant even perceive a thing
always striving
for the truth

Making a martyr of
my youth
now it seems
long in the tooth

Keeping young
is just a game
being young  
your voice to gain
Craig Harrison Jun 2014
We live in a time of uncertainty
No jobs
Climate change
Mass killings
warnings of pandemics
Where is our utopia
where is our heaven on Earth

1900's we had
San Fransisco's earthquake
McKinley was assassinated
First Nobel prize
The Tunguska Event
nothing as changed in my eyes

1910's we had
Spanish flu
The sinking of the unsinkable ship, the Titanic
and World War 1
What else is needed to say about this decade
nothing changed as the human race lived on

1920's we had
Discovery of penicillin
The great depression
and prohibition

1930's we had
Bonnie and Clyde
Hindenburg disaster
Discovery of Pluto
Al Capone imprisoned

1940's we had
World War 2
Mount Rushmore completed
Big bang theory formulated
Israel founded
Nothing changed but who knew

1950's we had
Castro becomes Dictator of Cuba
Laika the dog goes into space
Korean War began
History never changed and neither will the Human Race

1960's we had
The rise of the Berlin wall
First man on the moon
Vietnam War
Nothing changed and won't any time soon

1970's we had
First test tube baby
Tangshan Earthquake
Kent state shootings
Elvis died

1980's we had
Chernobyl
Tiananmen square massacre
Exxon oil spill
Nothing changed and never will

1990's we had
Oklahoma city bombing
Princess Diana died
Columbine massacre
World Trade Center bombed
End of the Cold War

2000's we had
Hurricane Katrina
Pluto reclassified
Obama elected
September 11th

2010's we had
Haiti Earthquake
Japan Earthquake
Bin Laden killed
BP oil spill
England riots
Brazil riots
China banned time travel.
We're only 4 years in.


**** sapiens are nearly 200,000 years old
nothing changed
and never will
Hope you like
Kelly Bitangcol Sep 2016
I have always been fascinated by mythology. I remember seeing my older sisters with a greek mythology book, and wishing I could be in high school so I can know it already. I was interested in the mythical creatures, in the gods and goddesses, in the battles, and just like everyone, I was interested in the love stories. I wanted to learn it with passion for I heard it was the inspiration of almost all the modern literature that I love. I could still remember feeling excited to be in class and discuss it. And now that I have reached high school, and I also reached my dream of studying greek mythology and not only that, because I reached it with you. We learned about the titans, the gods and goddesses, the olympians, the monsters, the stories. We were both engrossed and captivated by it, that mythology was the only thing we ever talked about. We even related it to real life, we related people to the characters. Whenever we see a person we know, we would think of the character that best resembles them, and we will start calling them their characters that we decided them to be. We called our friend Athena, we called your cousin Apollo, we even called someone the Minotaur. And that’s what our teacher told us, that not because it’s fantasy that immediately means it cannot happen in real life. The stories there, are reality, the only difference is, they added magic into them. We loved greek mythology so much that we related it to everything. However I realised something, we related it to everything except to ourselves. So I asked you, “Who are we?”. You told me, “Baby, we’re no one there, for we will make our own mythology. We will make the greatest one, so beautiful that it would surpass the best literature of all time.” Your favourite one was Plato’s quote, you would never shut up telling me the story that “humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves.” And you would always tell me, that you wished to tell Zeus you found yours already. I expected myself to love the romance most, for myself to have the love stories as my favourite. But instead, I loved the opposite,  I loved the tragedies.


I don’t know why, but I found myself loving the tragic stories. I found myself loving the story of Orpheus and Eurydice. The ultimate tragic love story, in which Orpheus would have brought Eurydice back to life if only he had done what Hades said. Orpheus went to the underworld to ask Hades to bring back Eurydice, but Hades had one condition, he should not look back while his wife was still in the dark, for that would undo everything he hoped for. He should wait for Eurydice to get into the light before he looked at her. But then, Orpheus couldn’t control himself, he looked at Eurydice and hugged her, then suddenly Eurydice was drawn back to the underworld.


And who would ever forget Pyramus and Thisbe? The star crossed lovers who had families who hated each other and whispered sweet nothings through a crack in the wall that separates their houses. And they decided to run away, but when Thisbe showed up under the mulberry tree, a ****** jawed lioness was there. So Thisbe ran, and just when Pyramus arrived, he saw the lioness ripping apart Thisbe’s shawl. Thinking that Thisbe died, Pyramus stabbed himself. And when Thisbe returned and figured out what happened, she stabbed herself too. To this day, the formerly white berries of the mulberry tree are stained red with the blood of these tragic lovers.


Here comes my favourite story of all, the myth of Icarus. Icarus and his father attempted to escape from Crete by means of wings that his father constructed from feathers and wax. Daedalus cautioned him that flying too near the sun would cause the wax to melt. And because of hubris, Icarus ignored his father’s instructions and flew too close to the sun. Then the wax in his wings melted and he fell into the sea.


When I was reading the stories, epiphany suddenly hit me. Perhaps the reason why I loved tragedies so much because we’re turning into one. I finally got the answer to my question when I asked you who we are. Maybe we are Orpheus and Eurydice, we loved each other too much that we would do everything just to be together. But we ignored all the warnings, we thought love was the only thing that really mattered. We never got to control our feelings and we forgot everything, because of that, we were separated from each other. Or we could also be Pyramus and Thisbe, we are the perfect definition of lovers who almost made it, who almost achieved happiness, who almost became the greatest lovers of all time but then we never became one, we became tragic ones. And darling, perhaps Icarus resembles us the most. We are both Icarus, our wings, are ourselves,  and love, is the sun. Everybody told us not to get too near the sun, for the wax in our wings will melt, we will lose our wings because we are too close to the thing that could save and destroy us both. And just like Icarus, we disobeyed the rules.  We flew too close to the sun, look at us now.

As we were walking out of each other’s lives, I realised something. We were not meant to create the greatest story of all time that it would top the best literature. We were never making our own mythology, because we were just bound to become another tragedy. Another tragedy that people will love, and I still don’t know why, but people tend to see something beautiful in it. And maybe, just maybe, people will also see something beautiful in our tragic story. But just like Orpheus and Eurydice, Pyramus and Thisbe, Icarus; one thing is for sure, my love. We will achieve a thing we both wanted,  **we will never be forgotten.
Stephen E Yocum Jun 2017
Gauguin or Michener
horizon lust inspired,
The South Pacific desired.
From early childhood on.
Fiji in the 70’s all alone in
A Personal journey of self
and world discovery.

From the big island of
Viti Levu, embarked
on native small boat, fifty
miles out to the Yasawa group.
Reaching tiny Yaqeta with
300 souls living close to the bone,
No Running water, or electric spark
glowing. Remarkably bright stars
shine at night, no city lights showing
to hide their heavenly glow.

Unspoiled Melanesian Island people
Meagerly surviving only on the sea
and a thousand plus years of tradition.

I welcomed like a friend of long
standing, with smiling faces and
open sprits. Once eaters of other
humans beings, converted now to
Methodist believers.

Their Island beautiful beyond belief,
Azure pristine seas in every direction,
Coral reefs abounding with aquatic life.
Paradise found and deeply appreciated.
I swam and fished, played with the kids
and laid about in my hammock, enjoying
weeks of splendor alongside people
I came to revere, generous and loving
at peace with themselves and nature,
Embracing a stranger like a family member.

My small transistor radio warned big
Cyclone brewing, of Hurricane proportions.
My thoughts turned to Tidal Waves.
The village and all those people
living a few feet above sea level.
Tried to express my concerns to
my host family and others, getting
but smiles and shrugs in return.
Spoken communication almost
nonexistent, me no Fijian spoken,
Them, little English understood.

It started with rain, strong winds,
Worsening building by the minute.
The villagers’ merely tightening down
the hatches of their stick, thatch houses.
Content it seemed to ride out the storm,
As I assumed they always did.

Shouldering heavy backpack
I hugged my friends and headed
for high ground, the ridgebacks
of low mountains, the backbones
of the Island. Feeling guilty leaving
them to their fate from high water.
Perplexed, they ignored my warnings.

In half an hour winds strong enough
to take me off my feet, blowing even
from the other side of the Island.
On a ridge flank I hunkered down,
pulled rubber poncho over my body,
Laying in watershed running inches deep
cascading down slopes to the sea below.

The wind grew to astounding ferocity,
Later gusts reported approaching 160
miles per hour. Pushing me along
the ground closer to the cliff edge
and a 80 foot plunge to the sea below,
Clinging to cliff with fingers and toes.

For three hours it raged, trees blowing
off the summit above, disappearing into
the clouds and stormy wet mist beyond.

A false calm came calling, the eye of the
Cyclone hovered over the Island, as I
picked my drenched self up and made my
way over blown down trees and scattered
storm debris to the Village of my hosts.

Most wooden, tin roofed structures gone
or caved in, the few Island boats broken
and thrown up onto the land. Remarkably
many of the small one room “Bure” thatched
huts still stood. Designed by people that knew
the ways if big winds.

The high waves had not come as I feared.
Badly damaged, yet the village endured,
As did most of the people, some broken
bones, but, mercifully, no worse.

Back with my host family, in their Bure,
new preparations ensued, the big winds I
was informed would now return from the
opposite direction, and would be even worse.

For another four hours the little grass and
stick House shook, nearly rising from the
ground, held together only by woven vine
ropes, and hope, additional ropes looped
over roof beams held down by our bare
hands. Faith and old world knowledge
is a wonderful thing.

Two days past and no one came to check on
the Island, alone the people worked to save
their planted gardens from the salt water
contaminated ground, cleaned up debris and
set to mending their grass homes. The only fresh
Water well still unpolluted was busily used.

With a stoic resolve, from these self-reliant people,
life seemed to go on, this not the first wind blown
disaster they had endured, Cyclones I learned
came every year, though this one, named “Bebe”
worst in the memories of the old men of the island.

On the third day a boy came running,
having spotted and hailed a Motor yacht,
which dropped anchor in the lagoon on the
opposite side of the Island.

I swam out to the boat and was welcomed
aboard by the Australian skipper and crew.
Shared a cold Coke, ham sandwich and tales
of our respective adventures of surviving.
They agreed to carry me back to the Big Island.

A crewman returned me ashore in a dingy.
I crossed the island and retrieved my things,
Bidding and hugging my friends in farewell.
I asked permission to write a story about the
storm and the village, the elders' smiles agreed,
they had nothing to loose, seemed pleased.

One last time I traversed the island and stepped
Into the yachts small rowboat, my back to
the island. Hearing a commotions I turned
seeing many people gathering along the
shores beach. I climbed out and went among
them, hugging most in farewell, some and
me too with tears in our eyes, fondness, respect
reflected, shared, received.

As the skiff rowed away  halfway to the ship,
the Aussie mate made a motion with his eyes
and chin, back towards the beach.

Turning around in my seat I saw there
most of the island population, gathered,
many held aloft small pieces of colored cloth,
tiny flags of farewell waving in the breeze,
they were singing, chanting a island song,
slow, like a lament of sorts.

Overwhelmed, I stood and faced the shore,
opened wide my arms, as to embrace them all,
tears of emotions unashamedly ran down my face.
Seeing the people on the beach, the Aussie crewman
intoned, “****** marvelous that. Good on 'ya mate.”

Yes, I remember Fiji and Cyclone Bebe, most of all
I fondly remember my Island brothers and sisters.

                                    End
Two years later I returned to that island, lovingly
received like a retuning son, feasted and drank
Kava with the Chief and Elders most of the night,
A pepper plant root concoction that intoxicates
And makes you sleep most all the next day.

My newspaper story picked up by other papers
Galvanizing an outpouring of thoughtful support,
A Sacramento Methodist Church collected clothes,
money and donations of pots and pans and Gas
lanterns along with fishing gear and other useful things.
All packed in and flown by a C-130 Hercules Cargo plane
out of McClellan Air Force Base, U.S.A and down to Fiji,
cargo earmarked for the Island of Yaqeta and my friends.

On my return there was an abundance of cut off
Levies and Mickey Mouse T-Shirts, and both a
brand New Schoolhouse and Church built by
U.S. and New Zealand Peace Corps workers.

This island of old world people were some of the best
People I have ever known. I cherish their memory and
My time spent in their generous and convivial company.
Life is truly a teacher if we but seek out the lessons.
This memory may be too long for HP reading, was
writ mostly for me and my kids, a recall that needed
to be inscribed. Meeting people out in the world, on
common ground is a sure cure for ignorance and
intolerance. I highly recommend it. Horizon Lust
can educate and set you free.
jonchius Sep 2015
checking potent aftershock
observing seismic anniversary
checking another tremor
resuming constrained writing

annexing hidebound constituents
hugging incoming eschatologies
fighting pervasive insomnia
battling invasive fatigue

damning incompetent fools
awaiting furtive escape
abandoning corporate wasteland
summoning celestial syzygy

detesting spaghetti code
protruding riparian dolphin
establishing unilinear escritoire
glowing cybernetic cynosure

avoiding eternal invisibility
supporting valued customer
performing lexical gymnastics
scrooping notification sounds

restoring usual happiness
glorifying darkwave fanfares
collapsing old relationships
raising ambient awareness

defining wolf people
propagating yesteryear's spectre
achieving hemispheric virality
testing weekend legerity
installing iron curtain

propagating today's spectre

developing niche audiences
transmitting abstract propaganda
disappearing thought experiments
overusing various condiments

double-checking hyper-real emotions
rubbernecking celestial explosions
observing splendid holiday
exploding volcano day

erupting bucolic mountain
disrupting hectic shouting
perfecting suggestive triptychs
checking festive pyrotechnics

drifting across multiverse
regifting glossy paperwork
writing six-lined hexagrams
liking two-toned instagrams

recalling pygmalion sculptures
brawling tatterdemalion cultures
"rambling corporate shill
rattling rapid prosody"
"battling hamburger hill
ambling hundredth library"
"sensing ideological schism
pending guttural neologism"

glowing verdant background
foreshadowing palmyra takedown
developing geopolitical mess
geminating quasi-couplet stress

"hugging cultural diversity
shrugging irrational adversity"

distancing spooky raindrops
avoiding potential burnout
implementing lexical databank
approaching crash-scene sudser

becoming increasingly selective
escaping tyrannical bureaucracy
perpetuating cut-throat capitalism
purchasing contrived happiness
incorporating chance elements
relaxing rigid structures
reheating your retweet

holding theoretical design
smiling beach life
scrutinizing eternal simulation
rushing artificial apothegm
annexing facetious document
freaking creepy centipedes

writing neural structure
congratulating yestreen's warriors
encouraging seatbelt usage
boosting abstract setting
sensing frivolous ochlocracy

keeping hypothetical metropolis
blurring metaphorical æsthetic
scrutinizing computational festival
memorializing towel day

raising six-fingered paw
eternizing fragment schedule
liking subtextual repository
quoting quintessential quidnunc

finding ideological style
disregarding their slovenliness
planning spatial factoid
spinning glacial ellipsoids

enjoying eternal spreadsheet
deleting repetitive tweet
awaiting festival lineup
gainsaying unethical startups

observing turgid experiment
contemplating conniving contrivances
enjoying dynamic project
dropping two-toned simulation
finding harmonic space
finalizing warring cavaliers

detecting enigmatic apathy
retrieving potential exchange
meddling middling muddling
baking hypnagogic pizza

spinning galactic dinosaur
building trans-pacific partnership
finishing theoretical mission
giggling agog googlers

crashing atypical tessellation
cherishing precious hexagons
proliferating western lottery
cretaceousing funkaholic skeletor

blurring turgid gallery
cancelling tsunami warnings
extemporizing incoherent neologisms
transmitting harmonic rave

gliding black hawks
hiding quacked ducks
archiving animated light
googling moonbow imagery

ignoring relatable messages
observing unfinished world
generating optional content
continuing exponential growth
May 2015
neil jones Feb 2020
We know desire is never just,
That thing which want which we discussed,
We would not want to destroy trust,
But what we feel is lust.
Pure lust.
Just lust.

Emotionally quite non-plussed,
We do the deeds that breed disgust,
When dreaming dreams that turn to dust,
On coming face to face with lust.
Pure lust.
Just lust.

We take deep breaths, try to adjust,
Resolve of iron turns to rust,
Although our heart strings are tight trussed,
We know that it is lust.
Pure lust.
Just lust.

Our feelings tell us that we must,
Accept this thing upon us ******,
But deep inside we cannot trust,
This thing we know is lust.
Pure lust.
Just lust.

But we say we shall not be rushed,
Disclaim emotion, quite august,
And we have therefore’d, so’d and thus’d,
But honestly: we know it’s lust.
Pure lust.
Just lust

So, shall we take it all on trust?
Enjoy the deeply desired ******,
Of pure emotion, warnings shushed,
And give our bodies up to lust?
Pure lust?
Just lust!
I lust!

— The End —