Barefooted in the middle of nowhere
Where the lost can never be found
By anyone whose eyes were only caught by fancy shoes
I was wondering if someone will notice the barefooted
Stepping on thorns and stones
Every night in that nowhere there's the lonely wanderess
With eyes closed and ears open
Enough to lead her to the wonder of nowhere
Where the music is slowly playing
That keeps the trees sway in sweet rhythm
And leaves slowly falling, touching the lonely wanderess
Until finally hit the ground and withered
Reminding an old friend who once she walked with
And the lonely wanderess wasn't waiting for someone
She doesn’t want to be found nor saved by anyone
Whose heart withered in a long walk to nowhere
The lonely wanderess is afraid to even take another step
Thinking she’ll never find herself without getting wounded
Not the road she’s frightened but the thorns she imagined
But she chose to die trying to find something she can’t see
Darkness is that nowhere and she’s less happy but less sad
Carrying nothing but less of everything.

She was free in her wildness.
She was a wanderess,
a drop of free water.
She belonged to no man,
and to no city.

I walk these streets,
of which, I don't belong
Ever carrying the scent of
Death,
and vintage whisky
A visceral and demented
MayBerry hell
Still,
It is here, in which I dwell
Everyone plays their part,
Pays their bills
Me?
A mere ghost
haunting these wooded hills
A house,
I possess  
Home,
I lack
I wander
Alone
I belong no where
Everywhere
Just not here
And so.....

I wander
And belong to no one
A wanderess.......

~A

I once had a love
who folded secrets between her thighs
like napkins,
and concealed memories in the valley
of her *******.
There was no match for the freckles on her chest,
and no one could mistake them for a field
of honeysuckles.
Upon her lips,
a thousand lies were spread in sweet gloss.
Her kiss was like a storybook of medieval chivalry,
or a poem from ancient history.
She was at home with the body of a man
inside her,
beside her.
And those night she lay in bed crying,
no one could mistake the tears she wept
for a summer shower.
She is gone, my Love.
She was a wanderess,
a wildflower.

Crisp summer breeze tickle wreaths of May blooms
Yellow flats traipse blocks where blue ocean looms
Serene waves greet shore's walls in fervent kiss
Moon's afterglow brush the scene in pure bliss

Fine sand witness time like dateless heirlooms
Brine's musk basks nightfall in coastal perfumes
Woven foams' calm poise in fond reminisce
With each cycle's ending, they go amiss

Red heels graze concrete in sultry whispers
As the salt-rimmed glass plays in my fingers
Gotcha!—my hapless victim for tonight

Caught my breath, it only faintly lingers
In front I stand, a door with four ciphers
"Aphrodite, save me" begins the plight

a peach beginning upon a
snow-born face of hope for a
purer tomorrow

chewed up and spit out by
the harsh lips of a
cigarrete kisser

he had lucifer's lies and
hellfire for a heart, yet
she loved him all the same

something's can't help but crave the pain of
being
choked with feeling

like
a secret
spoken so silently
that not even god himself
can hear it

I'm an Adventurer,
I was born to travel this world
I shouldn't be tied down

I need to be free.

I have to be prepared
to set sail and explore
the deepest and the darkest,
the highest and the lightest
parts that this World has to offer me.

I only feel like myself
when I travel
When I'm
someplace new
I feel
at home

I never travel but I'm never home
The sky is always alive,
but it never talks to me
the way it does with other children

I'm never the same person;
I always change my skin
the way one would change out of his clothes
I never get to love myself
long enough for that

I never get it right enough,
always with a tinge of wrong
and I get so exhausted
but I never talk myself out of it

I never travel but I'm never home
A stranger my house knows too well

I want to push you out of me
I don't want to need you the
way that I seem to.
But you've always been there
so it's kind of hard to do.
Honestly I just want the best
for you
So I'll disappear into the dark
I'm a wanderess already,
never sick of the rain that's
flooding me.

when i was small
my satin thighs
still stained in snow
untouched and wise

kept them closed
tucked in and nice
like a good girl would
with flustered eyes

somehow, i
still had to wonder
what it felt like
made me shudder

utter
stutters
hunters, youngsters

thrusting
lusting
rough and tight
busting
something
day and night

growing older
i dimmed the lights
on mattresses rusting
in hotel room nights

these days my story
isn’t quiet and right
filled with mourns
and shorts
pulled down ever so slight

these days i wander
in alleys and arms
of men and monsters
oh,
but believe me
they got their charms

I met my ghost yesterday, on the bus at a time young girls are not supposed to travel alone. I was thirsty for freedom; she sat next to me dressed like a wanderess, she smelt of some cheap perfume and her face a golden cage. We sat together like anthills and did not speak, we were immigrants of a violent history, she sold her body and I my brain.

Once, I never cared for this.
Incandescent lights,
Snowy streets.
Finding adventure in your own two feet.
Swift shoes on misty pavements,
Calling to you like sirens from old
Myths we've long forgotten to tell.
Once, I didn't care how badly
This desire inside me burned.
This call to the unknown,
A cry so deafening
It made me sick,
And I---
Liked it.
I was a wanderess stuck still.
A statue of wanderlust and unlicked postage stamps
So close but oh, so far
From being where I belonged.
It was a nightmare far
More sinister than any
Monster under my bed
Once, I gave up on trying to fly.
To get away
From the poison place I couldn't stand.
I didn't care how I lived
Because no matter what,
I never saw it as my life.
Needless to say
I was wrong.
Once I realized that...
No longer do I stare out windows that stared back daggers
Blaming me for a life I didn't fight to live.
But don't worry, no...
That fight is not over for me, now.
It's only just begun.

The insomnia hits harder than it has in a while.
My head pounds,
My eyes ache
And my feeble heart is a wanderess.
Roaming through nostalgia like a gypsy
With a curse
Or a ship lost at sea
Following the voices of sirens that never actually existed.

Running equations in my headspace
Wondering where I went wrong
Or where I went right..
I honestly couldn't tell you,
I was never good at math anyway.

Too many variables.
Too many unknowns,
My life is the letter x.
And I'm sifting through square roots
At 2am on a Thursday.

And I can’t close my eyes
Because it only gets worse.
The racing and the wandering.
The backs of my eyelids become pull down screens
Like the ones in the cheap banquet halls
With the slide shows and “cash only” bars.

And the slideshow just flickers
With every blink
Every flirtation with sleep.
In bold Times New Roman
Black letters flash

“Do you regret it?”

“Was it all worth it?”

“Is this where you thought you would be?”  

My chest tightens.
My heart begins to race.
There’s a test at the end of this presentation
And I forgot to take notes.
Everyone else is so well prepared
So I look around for someone to cheat off of
Because I have to pass this test, right?
It’s my life,
I have to pass this test.

The answers have to be easy.

“Did you regret it?”
No.

“Was it all worth it?”
Yes.

“Is this where you thought this would be?”
Well, sure I guess...

I mean, how does anyone know?
Am I supposed to know?
Do I have any lifelines?
Can I phone a friend?

But the buzzer sounds.
The lights go dark.
The film reel starts.
Another study session begins.

The moment you fall in love with him.
Do you regret it?

The look in his eyes when he tells you he doesn’t love you.
Was it worth it?

The color of the sky when you find out he died.
Is this where you thought you would be.

Cautionary tales
displayed in hues of brown
My delicate Icarus incarnate
you're slipping
and grabbing at anyone you can
on the way down
I manifest in pastel pastures
under the Santa Ana sun
falling from greatness is far more spectacular
than listening to anyone
purge yourself of meals
and pride
and ancient deities
paint false idols in your image
cut off your legs
passively watch wax
drip from your wings
In your wake lays every discarded version of yourself
hollowed out and far more tan
My wanderess,
beautiful Icarus.