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adr Oct 2013
whatever I have done, I am so so sorry. whatever you are feeling, I am so so sorry. whatever is happening, I am so so sorry. whatever this is, I am so so sorry. I didn’t mean to, I didn’t mean to, I didn’t mean to.

More and More i say and More and More you know and More and More i feel More disconnected More delusional and More gone

press your foot against mine but no please dont press your hand against mine but no please dont press your leg your fingertips your side your hips your touch
no please dont

waitwaitwait

whatever I did, I am so so sorry. whatever you feel, I am so so sorry. whatever happened, I am so so sorry. whatever this is, I am so so sorry. I don’t mean, I don’t mean to, I don’t mean to.

but i always do
More and More
ms hitt Mar 17
whatifineverknoweventhoughitried
itwhatifitallfallsapartrightinfr­ontofme
icantcomprehendevenifitsexplained
righttomyfaceicantrecip­rocatemyfeel-
-ingsforyouitsjusttoohard FULL STOP.

receptorial, over and under again

whatifyoudontremembermeevenwith
allididimstillaspeckinyour­everlargereality
somymindisfilledwithyouonlyyou
onlythinkingofyou­andineverwant
toletyougokeepyouinside FULL STOP.

everlargerealityeverlargereality

doyoufeeltheseemotionssw­elling
upinsidecanyoutellwhatimthinking
orisitjustachainofthought­satrainofideas
garbledrunningatyoulikeadeer
caughtinatrucksheadli­ghtsbut DASH-

why why why cant i be why why why

whataboutallthesearbitraryideas
thatihaveibelongtoyouandyouo­nly
icantsaywhybutyourebeautifuliwant
youyouyouyouyouaremineminea­nd
mineforeverandevereverever FULL STOP.

brace for impact brace for impact

keepyouinsidesafeinsidewideawake
andalivewecouldstayliket­hisdoyoulikethis
orisitkindadifferentdoyouhave
adifferentopinioni­triedsohardso
staystaystaywhereyouareso FULL STOP.

dont go away please stay stay stay

whywhywhyitreatedyousowell
whywhywhyikeptyousafeinsidejustf­or
youyouyouaremineminemine
whywhywhyarethesethoughtsinsidemyhead­
getoutgetout get out. stay AND?

hatehatehate i hatehatehate

willthesepillsfixmeorwilltheybreak
mefillmewithregr­etneverknownevertried
likethepomegraniteseedstheygo
downmythroatt­houghtsthinking
ofthemomentyouleavemebut HOLD ON,

too late too late too late too late

isaitallsoemptythereisnothinglefttohold
ontotogetagripalsur­facesboundbybricks
slipperylikeaneelsoelvenpillsinicantfeel
memys­elfandijustthinkingof
youyouyouholdondont WAIT-

waitwaitwait, waitwaitwait

leavemealone, dont, leavemealone,
dont, leavemealone, dont,
leave me alone, dont, leave me alone dont
dont, dontdontstopstopstopstopnomore
nomorenomorestopstop DONT STOP…

awake, awake, awake, dont go away

nevergoneawaygoneawrylikeatrainoffitstracks
snapcracklepopt­hesecracksinreality
takemeoffthesedrugstheymakeme
nothingandanyth­ing, everythingelse
everythingandanythingbutnothing INSIDE

hey, hey, hey, dont run away

imbackagainsocomebackbacktomestay
staydontrunawaypleaseplea­se
stayyouaremyonlyifthereisnothingleft
butmethanaspeckisprettybi­gsodont
dontdontrunawayplease DASH-

great big speck great big speck

maybetheproblemismeimightneedto
stopandthinkthatmightmakem­enormal
normalnormaliwanttobenormaliwanttobe
like jack, like trevor, like whoamiwhoami
whatismynamewhoisthis BUT;

thisismethisismethisismethisisme

withoutmewhatismebutahusk­ofskin
veinsfilledwithadrenalinehaveimessedup
haveisinnednotimeto­repentgenerational
defectsinsanenotnormal, i want to be normal
stopandtakeabreath, this is FULL STOP.
i'm perfectly fine, I was watching a show where the main character was... a bit clingy, at the very least.

— The End —