Everything that once was so simple, now all seems so lost to me.
Lost to the world that fought me.
I feel my words blurring together with a broken jaw type of numbness.
It feels like my thoughts were beaten from my lips from the inside out.
I can still feel the burns of thoughts unsaid. I miss when times were tangible and things were nailed down.
But now my life feels like water.
Violent like the tides, dragging me out into a place where I don’t know how to swim.
It’s the words that I don’t know how to place that fill my lungs with every choking breath.
I’m in life too deep to get out now.
I’m imbedded, addicted.
Fastened to this current.
Like the van der waals force of my heart beating.
My lips tragically crave the taste of air and my heart painfully keeps the rhythm.
Step Step Step Step.
“Let’s go on,” my feet say in agreement with my heart.
The tears drag down and even they demand to be felt.
No parts of me want to go, but they all beat down on me demanding that I supply them with more energy to live.
I grow weak and hobble at my knees and wonder, “When will this addiction end?
When will I get some rest?” and just like that I’m gone.  
Not fighting the current, just floating.
Not swimming, just floating.
Not quite drowning,
but still,
only floating.

The only time
is now

No future yet

All past gone

A spot in
eternity

forever.

Eelco van der Waals

The word is
the root that
grows in the
ground where

the feet stand
that carry you,
forward through time,

with the sound
of your voice.

Eelco van der Waals

It starts with
a sound in
your head

an ie or
an aa
a pf or
whatever

in your boat
into morning.

So here
you are now,
your sounds

pull on words
like the clothes
that still hang
on your chair.

Once you
shape them
around you
they move
into meaning

of fresh hopes
and wishes
for a new day
ahead.

Eelco van der Waals
September 2025

Deeper and deeper
with every breath
at the break of day

Eyes between
open and closed

Circle of light
and freshness

Inward expanding
outward contracting

Infinity in the
palm of your hand

Clarity your companion
for the rest of the day

Eelco van der Waals
15 September 2025

Horizons shift slowly
where we are, here on deck
with open water all around

carrying our boat
to unknown land
with every wave and
wind that blows

This journey has no end
but ports in a row
bringing cargoes and fixes
after rough and calm seas

All questions posed
by currents and winds
you answer holding
your hand on the helm

steering the bow of the boat
with the flow and then higher
to stay on your course
with time on your side

Eelco van der Waals
4 August 2025

Learning by doing,
doing things slow,
slow meaning half of
the speed that you know

Slow down your breath
and the beat of your heart
making things better
make a new start

Slower is better and
good for your brains,
as it helps to avoid
any stress on your veins

Learn to enjoy this
look and see more
right where you are
as you open the door

Take a new step standing
firm on the ground
breathe and enjoy all
the things to be found

Eelco van der Waals
5 August 2025

The freshness of
the early daybreak
with open windows,
sunbeams in

A blackbird singing
through the curtains
a whole new
morning to begin

This courtyard is
a place of mercy,
an island in a
world of stone

You wake up in
a new beginning
contentness
rising from the bone

So get up, step
into the garden to
feel this newness
in your pores

You've come from far
into this moment
here to enjoy
this time is yours

Eelco van der Waals
17 August 2025

Accomplishing small things
like breathing in-and-out
standing up from the couch
taking a pencil and notebook
walking into the garden
seeing the sun through the tree
and making a quick sketch

means changing position
to see the whole picture at hand

so look at your life
straighten your back
feel wind on your face
hear the blackbird sing

and taste satisfaction
on the tip of your tongue

Eelco van der Waals
6 August 2025

Step out of the night
and wipe out the sorrow
this day's your tomorrow
that starts with new light

Stand firm on your feet
and feel how you're growing
the moment you're knowing
recovery's sweet

Today is the day
to smile and feel healthy
incredibly wealthy
that all is okay

Eelco van der Waals
11 August 2025

To C.

What you've
been through
ain't nothing

You don't need to
play it down

Stay in touch with
what's still fragile
as you walk
into the town

At the same time
feel the strength
you have refound
in your chest

Both are needed
in the balance
to live truthful
at your best

Eelco van der Waals
15 August 2025

Hospital bed
like a boat in the night
drifting on waves
of uncertainty

machinery blinking
on the pulse of your arm,
beeps on and off like
a lighthouse at sea -

your vessel reaches
the harbour of dawn
where white-coated sailors
enter the gangway

bringing news and measures
of a safe journey home after
a bumpy ride. You disembark
on shaky feet in gratitude.

Eelco van der Waals
29 July 2025

Feel the layers
in your body
from your skin
to flesh and bones

See the tree rings
bark to wood,
down into the core
where all begins

Learn to draw back
to your core
find the center
of your being

Safe behind
the outer walls

Eelco van der Waals
12 August 2025

An infinity ago
there was nothing
that you couldn't

An infinity ago
the whole world
was in your hand

An infinity ago
there was nothing
that you shouldn't

Until suddenly
a shock appeared
to make you understand

The infinity is now
from this moment
to forever

Looking far to the
horizon of this
new found land

Eelco van der Waals
13 August 2025

Our journey goes in circles
steady upward and around
through a little mountain village
and higher still towards the sound

of cow bells ringing in the meadows
along the footpath where we go
passing little streams of water
reflecting sunlight in their flow

When we reach a higher terrace
we stand and overlook the view
so much wider in perspective
than we, lower, barely knew

It takes altitude and distance
to see the picture as a whole
giving purpose to our journey
in the calmness of the soul

Eelco van der Waals
25 August 2025

No more nonsense
no more excuse
no more things
you can't refuse

No more blabla
no more delay
no more things
you should today

All that matters
in this quest
is what's beating
in your chest

Do not care of
all the noise
listen to your
inner voice

Eelco van der Waals
6 August 2025

Unexpected happenings
cast their shadows far ahead
as you notice afterwards
looking over your shoulder

Miles further on the way
you watch the landscape passing
and only then you notice
what you overlooked before

Small signs become signals
warning you in retrospect
of wrong turns you were taking
not noticing what lay ahead

A blush on the cheecks
a dizzy pressure in the head
should have told you to
pause the journey for a bit

as you have learned in hindsight
in gratitude of what went well


Eelco van der Waals
20 August 2025

A month ago when time stood stlll,
with hanging mouth and speech distorted
an ambulance appeared to take you in

It took a shock to make a change
enough to feel how it was needed
to reset everything and re-begin

Week one - stand still and learn
your body's beating inner language

Week two - reflecting outward
on the things you hardly knew

Week three - the first steps into
a training to recover

Week four - concluding practise
to integrate what's new

Each moment is a starting point
for new directions and behaviors
and each day brings a chance out of the blue ♡

Eelco van der Waals
20 August 2025

Time

Time is a tube that
connects you to ever
the past at one end
and the future the other

Time is the moment
this photo was taken
your first year at school
with your class in the yard

The looks are still there
expectations forever
caught by the shutter
that day in the sun,

decades ago now, many
hopes later. Still learning
what life is connected
by time.

Eelco van der Waals

Patterns woven day by day
in the workshop of your mind

all throughout childhood
getting tighter all the time
so that they at a certain spot
appear to be unchangeable.

Up till the turning point where
sudden signals shake you up
with threats ahead for life or death
and everythings stands still.

Away is all fixed certainty
from this new viewing point
where you take deeper breaths
and reset means a brandnew start.

Eelco van der Waals
2 August 2025

Getting older is a daily thing
ice gets thinner underneath your weight
and vulnerability is growing
in the mirrors that you pass

A vein in your head says no
and oxygen is blocked to your lip
that goes hanging, making words
different with a mumbling sound

Doctors are there, checking and
prescribing medicine to conquer
lasting effects after one night
in a hospital bed like a boat at sea

Every reason to be grateful and to
write poetry learning for now and
ever, expressing your gratitude,
celebrating vulnerability

Eelco van der Waals
3 August 2025

Inside your head are
two balloons, one right,
the other left

They mostly feel the same
except for when in
tiredness

Then choosing words gets
complicated, taking
time to find

The answer of your body
is to draw back
in the mind

Slow down to zero, breathe
and lower pressure
in your brain

To even up the two
balloons and make
them rise again

Eelco van der Waals
19 August 2025

Never knew this before:
waves of fatigue, like
walking miles on the beach
avoiding the water
coming in, pulling out
in an ongoing motion
of force and eternity

The waves rising inside
from the toes to the cheek
and up into the brains
where they urge to lie down
and rest

Tide and time together
holding your hand,
whispering promises
of strength and recovery
around the next turn
at sea

Eelco van der Waals
7 August 2025

Two feet going forward
one foot at a time, giving
every step a new direction
on the tracks of change

Who's in charge here?
the eye sees the path to go
the ear hearing fresh winds blow
the mind seems the one to know

Yet two feet shape their way
going further step by step
to targets and to destiny
where things come round

All is choice and choice is all
links together build the chain
of small events in a stream
flowing to the great blue sea

Eelco van der Waals
1 August 2025

For B

Keep your focus on what matters
The horizon plain in sight

Breathing in and breathing out
in the silence of the night

Let your heart decide its rythm
No use to control its pace

You are precisely where you should be
All your layers in one place

Feel the lifeline that connects you
from the organs in your chest

To the infinity around you
Everything is at your best

Eelco van der Waals
14 September 2025

You is the
I of we
Like we
Are the
Us of you
And me

I am the
You of us

A unity
In two

As either
Side of
Skin can
Do

Eelco van der Waals

Different moments on one day -
it could start with a giant leap
as if you were on a slide
whizzing straight forward

But then again, moments
looming like mountains
making you stop at once
and hold your breath

A day's length's too far ahead
to foresee when time can
seem a windscreen wiper
on a foggy road

Try not to concern too much:
still so many moments to go
look how far you've come
from point zero

So count your blessings
keep your fingers crossed
and feel the progress
you have made

Eelco van der Waals
16 August 2025