Known for a significant battle in the civil war and where
Union soldiers won a decisive victory
I was ordered to attend a hearing
Although I had 17 plus years someone thought it necessary my career end nearing
It was a long run
it was tough it was fun
But my loud personality and telling others what I'm not going to do can't be undone
I squared my hunched shoulders
All I can remember is being a soldier
Ive been here for years
Through blood sweat and tears
I've lossed comrades
I've lossed friends
Saw careers end
Some were fair some were grave injustice
Unrighteously dismissed
Under the guise of the Quality Management Program
A complete sham
Robbing well deserving soldiers of retirement
Well I must digress
Back to the Vicksburg mess
I didn't deserve to be here
It wasn't about me failing to adhere
In order to be crystal clear
This was an attack launched in hate
Well isn't this great
My fate in limbo based on hate
I can be obstinate
Strong willed hell I could be determined
Give me a pulpit for my sermon
I need this to make sense
To uncover the resent
Resentment hurt feelings disillusionment
Brokenness depression
Stifled refused expression
They were determined to teach me a lesson
They had all the power
And they were in the right cause
our relationship had soured
Like expired milk
They were inclined to determine my guilt
Had to hide my wilt
I was broken heart mind almost the will
Maya Angelou still I climbed
Still I ryhmed
With reason
A tough season
But had to over compensate
To hide the limp in my gait
So I made the most noise
He still boisterous
Passioned and explosive
I did the most
Cause I couldn't face my life
First the wife
Now this
How much more could I take
Man I could be fake
I was strong and I pretended to be
Couldn't let anyone see
The depression
Alcohol was used as a weapon
I killed myself daily
Every burden they gave me
Blackouts pass outs
Knock outs
I drove
You know how it goes
Bars I've closed
I closed them every night
This was how chose to fight
I didn't care if it was right
Had to be up in the morning
Bright eyed happy and bushy tailed
I couldn't face the fact that maybe I failed
Failed myself failed the organization I loved
I felt shoved
Unloved
I was all alone
I had to handle this on my own
Cause it might not work out
Couldn't focus on was it fair
my enemies would just gossip and stare
They longed to see me break
I have the backbone of a snakeMy inner 8 year old gave me this great character trait
He was resilient resolved and resolute
Stronger enough to refute
And able to stand in strong rebukes
So we stood there together
The good the bad the better
He's not fair weather
I started this poem thinking I was alone
But he was here with me all along
So I presented my case to the board
I let it all hang out
I left nothing to chance
A song and dance
A dog and pony
And the nomination for the Tony
Did my best to not come across phony
They made the calls they asked the questions
I called objections
Relevance of the question
I'm offended at the suggestion
Question lacks foundation
Do you know what I'm facing
Lacks personal knowledge simply speculation.
Leading the witness
back by popular opinion
Retained
did I hear you correctly
Yeah they kept me
They saw through the lies
phony attempts and tries
Fake alibis
I didn't commit sharp
Which was the spark
That made me aware of the
dark
It was dark the whole time
I just paid it no mind
I'm legally blind
So Vicksburg
A place where union Soldiers
Won a decisive victory
But it also means to me
A place of great impact and import
Where I was able to be retained
And my enemies were thwarted
Thank you young Kerry
For showing up for yourself
And helping me put to words what I felt
administrative separation board January 2019
