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On the verge of everything
On the verge of crying
On the verge of breaking
On the verge of jumping
On the verge of pulling the trigger
On the verge of swallowing the pill
On the verge of drowning
On the verge of collapsing
On the verge of not breathing

Just a breeze will ******* over

And I'll fall off of the edge
almost falling
summer May 2016
on the verge of tears,
i try to help a friend,
on the verge of tears,
you are my only end,
on the verge of tears,
i can't do this anymore,
on the verge of tears,
i know i haven't won the war,
on the verge of tears,
your in my mind again,
on the verge of tears,
i feel all this pain,
on the verge of tears,
i will always love you,
on the verge of tears,
you didn't love me and i knew,
on the verge of tears,
i thought i was past this,
on the verge of tears,
i miss your kiss.
Lily Apr 2018
With you,
I was often on the
Verge of tears.
Your thoughtless words,
Your stubbornness,
Your never ending rants.
With you,
I was often on the
Verge of anger.
My thoughtless words,
My stubbornness,
My never ending rants.
With you,
I was often on the
Verge of fear.
The fear of you leaving me,
The fear of you finding another,
The fear of you hurting me.
Yet through all the
Tears, and the
Anger, and the
I was also on the verge of something else.
I was on the verge of happiness.
Muggle Ginger Oct 2012
I’m not good at being forward
I have this habit of becoming disordered
I let my emotions change the color of my sleeve
In my aspirations I hope to find belief
I walk through jungles and rainforests
Once in a while I see through the canopy
Into the skies of my memories
And request that stars dance to the rhythm of us
I keep them alive to avoid the gathering of dust
My memories, caught in the Pensieve of your eyes
Have ignored all the times I told myself lies
I may not be your ideal Superman
But I’d accept Peter Pan if you’ll go with me to Neverland
I’ve rarely been so captivated by a girl
Sure, Zooey Deschanel is quirky in New Girl
And Emma Watson bewitched me from the start
Anna Kendrick was perfect in Pitch Perfect
Alex Morgan is the luckiest 13 I’ve ever seen
But I choose you! To fill my canteen
You quench my thirst when the loneliness dries me
I was not made to walk in a desert
My heart is an amphibian
Living like a Floridian in the ice-cold tundra we call Rexburg
You still need the sun, no matter how much it snows
I’ll trudge on in the jungle; dormant in the night
I’ll carry on with you in mind, until the time is right
Once I’ve faced death, or even a spider
Then, I think I’ll top the greats; George of the Jungle, Aslan, Mogly, Tarzan, Batman, Peter Pan, Harry Potter, Genghis Kahn, Michael… Jackson or Jordan
They’re all kings and I’ll be in their league
As I shake off the fatigue and find courage in you
To make it through the awkward moment of simply saying
“You’re a real kind of gorgeous”
In that chorus, played on my rhythm of heartbeats
I found my way out of the back streets
From deep in the jungle I’ve come to know as Fear
A jungle that disappears when your presence is near
Sometimes I have to stop walking, stop thinking
I feel like I’m on the verge of something spectacular
Anything normal might ruin that
I'm on a train.

One of those red ones with black trimmed windows you can imagine rolling through the suburbs on the way to NYC. Not a subway car but a classier vintage with proper rows of cushioned seats and a lever to pull if there is an emergency. There are sparse shrubberies on one side of the tracks and the ocean on the other. Young trees and bushes stroll by.  A little wind is pushing off the ocean, massaging the car ever so gently back and forth as we move along. A gentle click-clack is on the tips of our ears.

We got on together. I hadn't known you for very long but the connection was stronger than anything I had ever felt or have since. You practically sat on top of me for the first few miles. Couldn't keep your hands off me,  staring in my eyes like you were searching for something lost but you couldn't remember what. The edges of your lips turned upwards permanently as if you were always at the verge of a laugh. You interlaced my fingers with yours and held on like you would be ripped away if your grip loosened for even a second. Slender fingers holding so tightly that they were becoming red.

You were excited to to be riding with me, about where we were going and all the things we would do when we got there. I would see you peer out of the corner of your eye, then lean over to brush your soft cheek against my budding stubble. Kissing and gently biting my lips insatiably. The suns rays coming in at an angle and lighting up your perfect smile and dimple.

I had to remind you we were in public.

I was lost in your blonde curls and the incense of your neck. I had fallen incredibly hard and so fast that my face hurt from smiling and my heart beat with vibrations I had never known. Not even a whiff of anxiety or neurosis. Some of the best memories of my life, as fleeting as they turned out to be.

I yawned and you put your finger in my mouth. I bent over to tie my shoe and you would poke my **** and laugh with your own reflection in the window, like this was the first and best joke of all time. Maybe it was and maybe it is.

The waiter came and informed us that a thing called "the bar car" existed. We both jumped at the idea. I didn't exactly notice at the time, during our excitement, but that's when the train started going faster and everything out the windows began to blur.

The bar car was a wild ride and we took advantage of our lo'cal. All kinds of fine wine, liquors and illicit substances were available. We tried them all. You were beautiful, your laugh infecting everyone around you, I was charming and held a captive audience.   It was a dark, loud and glorious blur. We were the life of the party and it chugged on till dawn.

We woke up in our seats, disheveled and discombobulated. It was dark out already. Did we sleep through the entire day? The train was slowing down, maybe approaching a station. The party was amazing but we were certainly paying the price for the black out. You moved over to the seat across from me to have some more space and lay down. I saw myself in the reflection. My hat, charm and smile from the night before had vanished. I must have left them in the bar car the night before.
      You had changed, beauty uninterrupted but different somehow. I couldn't put my finger on it. Irritated maybe? I invited you to cuddle and battle the hangover together but you ignored me. Like you couldn't hear me or didn't want to. I decided to let you be.

I got up to use the bathroom and thought I would go look for my scattered belongings. Maybe I could find a scrap of leftover dignity while you rested. I inquired to the conductor who directed me to the bartender in the bar car. He hadn't changed a bit, somehow untouched and unaffected by last nights antics that had effected me so dramatically.  Same black suspenders and white pressed shirt with impeccably slicked hair. I asked him what happened and if I had an open tab. While slowly polishing a rocks glass he looked up and made eye contact for a split second before looking away.
He said:  "Oh the bar car takes its toll. In the end we all end up paying one way or another". I still don't know what he meant by that or if he knew.
      I asked him if he found my hat and he said he would check the camera. We walked in to a small back room, while he was reviewing the tape, over his shoulder I noticed a tragedy.

We were drunk. I was going on to a group of new friends on one side of the bar, they were hanging on my words and I was eagerly explaining whatever nonsense they were drooling over. You were in the corner wearing that red dress I love, with your hair up in a tight bun. A few curls had escaped and brushed your high cheekbones, a thin line of pearls dancing delicately across your perfectly symmetrical collar. You were stunning and inebriated, swaying with each bump and motion of the train. A man wearing my hat put his hand on your side to keep you from swaying over and then he left it there.
I took a sharp breath.

It looked like you put your hand on his hand to move it but then it stayed and you both swayed together. As the air left my lungs and the blood drained out of my face I watched your lips touch the strangers. A small piece of my soul slipped away forever. I couldn't watch any further. When I asked the bartender how long it went on he fidgeted for a moment and uncomfortably muttered "quite some time". I never found my hat or the other part of me that left that day.  

The train slowed. I walked to the back, as far away from you as I could get, in utter disbelief. How could you? I thought to myself.
I mourned the loss of the you as I knew you yesterday, quietly and to myself. A tear  escaped my eye and rolled down my now fully formed stubble as I fell in to a random seat in mild shock. There were a few passengers back there so I had to pull together relatively quickly. After gaining some composure I knew it was time to get off. I knew we could never get back to yesterday morning though I would have said or done anything to do so.

The train had stopped. I went back to my seat and you were sleeping. I took my coat and gathered my things. The conductor looked at me confused as to why I would leave something so magnificent, I assume he had no idea what had transpired.   

I walked to the rear of the car and slid the door open slower than required. I stepped to the stairs and put one foot down on the step and the other on the ground. I stopped, rooted with my hand on the railing, lingering between two very different paths.
     I knew that it was time to get off, I knew this was the sensible thing to do, that I couldn't get past this offense regardless of how I had felt earlier the day before. The whistle screamed from the locomotive. The conductor looked at me and shook his head, I'm not sure if he was trying to tell me to stay or go but a decision had to be made.

The train lurched forward and I watched as the station slip away slowly. I sat in between the cars for a while and watched the ocean and birds. With a heavy heart and shoes I walked back to my seat. You were waiting. Crying. You knew. The bartender had told you. You didn't mean do do it, didn't realize what you were doing and thought it was me. He was wearing my hat and the whole world was blurry and dark.

I believed you. Self anguish mixed with alcohol was dripping from your pores. I knew you didn't mean it and were drunk, but could I ever forgive you or trust you again?

I loved you still.

I caught a glimpse of my reflection, a weaker version of myself looked back. As if an invisible chip in my teeth had developed and my shoulders lowered. The charming, confident man from the bar car the day before had been replaced. Something was off but not enough for anyone else to notice, just enough to know a change has happened.
       The train started to pick up speed again as we distanced ourselves from the station.  I second guessed my decision to stay but I didn't look back.

I found the man with my hat and punished him with a few blows in the dark. He knew he ****** up, apologized and took the beating like a man. I never got the hat back.

The engineer announced that we would be going through a tunnel soon and to turn on our lights and keep our hands in the windows.

It would be dark.  

We stayed away from the bar car for a while but the draw was irresistible. After a few hours we were there again but you never left my side.  Then you did. I was looking for you but you would disappear and not answer me when I called you name. The tunnel went deeper and darker and I didn't know where you were and I suspected you liked it that way. The train began to slow down again as we exited the tunnel.

I finally found you back at our seat, you had moved one row away from me. I asked you to come back, tried to hold your hands but you pulled away with vehemence. When I came back from the bathroom you had moved another row farther.
I knew I was losing you.
I begged you to return but you told me calmly that it was time for you to get off. At some point in the tunnel you had decided that you didn't want to go anymore . Your mind was made. You were going to catch another train at the next station.

When the train stopped I thought for sure you would reconsider but you didn't. Didn't even give it a thought. You just grabbed your coat and hat with one big bag under your arm. You kissed me on the cheek like a french stranger and were off. Going somewhere else on a different train. Just like that.

I rode the rails for quite some time by myself , many people getting on and getting off, passing me by. Every once in a while I would think I saw you at a station or in a **** though the window of another train. I often thought I could smell you but when I breathed deeper it was always gone. A ghost dancing on the edge of my senses.

A young girl in a headband got on the train. She was listening to headphones and dancing to herself as she bobbed along. She sat down in the seat next to me flashing a smile. She had a wedding ring on and I dismissed her immediately.  She didn't move from the seat or stop glancing my way. Eventually she confessed that she wanted to talk. I told her I wasn't interested but she persisted.  I hadn't talked to anyone on the train for quite some time and after some more mild persistence, I gave in.

We had a lot in common. We were both riding alone, desperately wanted attention and were thrilled to receive some.  After a few laughs she slid her hand in to mine and interlaced her fingers. I left it there. It was warm, comforting and wrong. She was married but I had been riding alone so long it felt good to have some company. She stayed and we talked. She was broken and I had a knack for fixing things. After a few hours of dramatic conversation I fell asleep with her head on my shoulder.

When I woke up  the train was flying up the track on the side of a mountain. Trees and rocks were a blur of green and grey. The engineer must be trying to make up for lost time I thought to myself.

The girl was asleep with her head on my lap. I looked down at her hand and the rings were gone. I woke her briefly to ask where they went. She said she didn't need them anymore and had thrown  them out the window.  She could of sold them, I said, but she said she just wanted them gone so she could be mine and fell back to sleep.  All of a sudden I couldn't breath. This train was roaring down the tracks, the once gentle click clack had become a loud hum. Suddenly too loud. This girl in my lap who had just gotten on the train wanted to stay. I considered her for a while as she looked up at me with big blue eyes, shining and wet, like a puppy in the shelter, terrified of rejection and desperate to be adopted.

At the peak of the mountain, just when the train began to even out, you waltzed back in to the car with a champagne flute in one hand and your bag in the other.

I don't know when or where you got back on, must have been a few stations ago when I stopped looking for you. Maybe you were wearing a disguise, who knows what you had been up to while you were gone. I'm not sure how long you were away but it was quite some time. That you had been through something was obvious, a new wrinkle had formed on your brow and you're once confident stride had changed to a cautious stroll. What actually happened out there I don't know.  I never asked and I don't want answers.

You looked at me and smiled. It was good to see that smile, like sun on my face on a brisk day.  You took a step toward me and then I looked down in my lap at the girl at the same time you did. I looked up. You and your smile were gone.

Everything I had begun to feel for this broken, head banded girl in my lap dried up like a puddle in  the dessert.  I quietly and gently nudged her awake and told her I had to use the bathroom. She put her head down on my coat and fell back into what ever trance she had been in, eyelids gently fluttering, eyes searching beneath them for what I would never give her.

I dashed up the isle and threw open the door, almost shattering the glass. The conductor glared at me and rolled his eyes as I barged past to the space between the cars.

There you were. Standing on the stairs with your head out the opening. The wind was blowing your perfectly formed curls around your head like a blonde explosion of familiarity. I yelled your name and you dove in to me. My senses erupted, my mind went numb as the train was nearing another station and I inhaled your essence greedily.

We moved to another car. I abandoned my coat with the married girl and never looked back. I hope she found what she was looking for. I  never could have been the answer she was so desperately seeking but I know I  helped steer her towards it.

You told me you had encountered some other people out there on the rails and they had reminded you of what we had when we first left the station. I never forgot.  

The train started to rock and get going again. We were back in the bar car and starting to brown out. We had to get off of this train right ******* now. In a desperate moment we looked at each other and put our hands, together, on the emergency brake cord. I looked in your eyes with your hand on top of mine. You kissed me while yanking down on the cord. Time slowed, the breaks squealed and everything exploded throwing luggage, people and the entire contents of the bar car in to a nondiscriminatory chaos . We got up off the ground, ran to the end of the car, dove off the side in to a soft patch of grass and rolled down a small incline. We watched as the conductor sifted through  the mess and interrogated the passengers, trying to ferret out the party responsible for pulling the brake. He spotted us off the side of the tracks and shook his fist while shouting every conceivable obscenity combination.

We laughed, held each other in the grass and kissed deeply.

We watched the train pick up speed and disappear in to the hills as relief spread over me.

You interlaced your fingers in to mine and we both looked out to where the tracks disappeared into the horizon, wondering how far of a walk it was to the next station.
Gazing through the tallest
green nettles

I realized they do
not bite me

Cause it was not the day
for stings and aching

Cause i had the black
mountain boots
and a heart
on my
sport gown

My hands reached
the Heavens
the white yello

Elder's Abundance

Where Scented Blossoms
Coloured my skin

And exposed my life lines

The coolest tangerine

I sat on the black soil
squished young grasses
and found the

My palm was a giant Plato
For it's snailish leg

On the left one
he was without weight
portruding forth
to his destination

Is it possible that
his house was
3,5 mm
Isn't it cute
that when streched
was 7 mm
at lenght

Visible horns
like 1 mm
and half of it

The upper
The downward

What are you looking at
My lines or me

If he climbs from my
left palm on the right one
It's ment to be

I'll visit the seaside

Fibbonacci House Spiralled
Inner layers with colours
outer still
and translucent

Is it possible
this tiny snail
thinks about me

It didn't work
It remained
on my heart's side

Then I moved this
cutest creature
on my right palm

Little little snail
you're not a match
to squeeze

From the right to the left
I thought to myself
he is she
i don't know
snail's so young
for sure it doesn't seek another snail

To cherrish and love

Climbed on my left thumb
Beautiful in motion
As a revolution
For better days

It is my heart's side
My vision became
Waffed all around on the deepest blue
White and puffy



Emerged out of


Had landed on a spider web
on the Verge
of Enchanted Forest
Where grave monument resides

was in the air
the invisible wings fluttered

My sharp vision
focused on
another three

They don't need los zapatos
They are not obsessed as
Imelda was

And i wasn't thinking
about that at all

This words are for you:
thank you for the music
but the dragonflies
buterflies I love

They were near my
one caressed among
tall grasses
one butterfly

not in oslo

Fibbonnaci Friend
who gave me this
Sharp vision

To see the magic
revealing all
Imagined by
Impeccable Space
Poetic Flame
Father Jul 2018
Um basically that I'm not crazy that she's being rediculous  and selfish and legit tell me I'm right not dismiss it like oh how about we try and work with her even more then what I just sent u and have her make it even more difficult on me u all think it so easy I get off work at 9 no way I could take him to school and my son will want to see his family at my house not just Legoland everyone always thinking of themselves and **** one day I won't be here and then everyone will see how far I was pushed and how hard. I worked and how hard I tried and when that happens itll be too late because I'll be gone u have ur kids u have ur husband Stephen does everyone has someone I legit am all I have so the only kind of love I get to where I feel like I'm needed is my son he's all I have and what keeps me going but Jesus iv been fighting like a maniac for almost 6 years now to keep him in my life and sacrifice my health my happiness my everything just so I can pay child support and try to get him as much as I'm able outa of pure selfishness no one gets it no one trys to get it everyone is focused on everything else to really see what's going on u have no idea how many times I write my good bye letters to everyone but stop when I get to my son because I legit can't and won't and absolutely refuse to leave him alone with that ***** and that selfish family all he has but Jesus dude I'm not super man I get **** from everyone in every direction and constantly get told and made to feel like I'm hated and everything else when I legit do so much for everyone and care so much about everyone and the one thing I have my happiness is my child my son and I never get to even take him for more than a day and I'm dead tired because I work my *** off to distract myself from my ****** existence and misserey I've been thru hell and back my entire life and I'm stronger because of it but no one understands that my laughter my smiles my jokes my comedy is to distract me and everyone else to the reality that I'm on the verge of death the verge of giving up the verge of loosing hope the verge of saying goodbye to the one thing that deserves so much more than I could give my baby boy my hero my heart my soul my everything my pride and joy how happy I was to find out of his creation and ready I was to bring the beautiful blessing to the world into my life how ready I was to be there and watch the miracle of him every step every laugh every tiny amazing miracle of him growing and learning and I've had all the dreams all the hope  to be there and deserved to be there still deserve to be there and missed so much of his life because of a evil hateful selfish heartless demon that manipulated my mind my actions and my heart and took what strength I had and fed on it with pleasure and sick love for destroying my soul I'm living in hell and the demon that is evil has fed clawed and ****** away my will to the point where I'm just a dim light of what I was born to be and have the potential to be the light is almost out and my little savior my baby boy is left with nothing but a shadow a like a belief that his protector didn't care and wasn't there and the demon will feed him nothing but lies and hate and fill him with nothing but hate and  resentment and confusion and anger until his sweet Innocents vanishes and light starts to dim and left to feel all alone this is as deep as it gets do I share this do I send this questions I am left with do I open up and cry for help scream for help problem is I've been screaming for years and I'm trapped so far into the darkness that no one can see or hear the crys the begging and pleading for it to end save me Help me someone but there's no one just me my miracle and the demon trying to devour what's left of my soul and diminish me from existence and tarnish and manifest itself to become the very image of me and my baby boy will look at me as nothing but the very  demon  that left him without a father as the demon feeds him the darkness I left behind the memory of me will be nothing but a random thought that will be covered up by lies and fear and resentment in my child's eyes because the demon is now me in my child's eyes and that's when the demon wins that's when the demon is finally full not after I'm gone but when the last bit of love or light I leave behind is replaced with itself and my baby boy thinks of me as nothing but the very demon that destroyed me then just maybe then the demon will win cause now the demon is my son's mother the only one there and becomes the hero and I become the demon in his eyes I'm lost I'm afraid I'm alone and begging and pleading for it to change to end to stop in the end if hell is for ever and if I'm in hell and it really is for ever then the only thing I'll be wanting or screaming or hoping is for it to end to stop to cease to exist in the end my enemy is not the demon feeding on my soul it's the never ending pain and suffering the forever the continue the hope the urge to keep going in the end my enemy is time and the only way I can stop time is to take my self out of the equation and the light that is left the life the will to live goes out dies disappears and leaves nothing but a void and darkness like it never existed good bye is close and hope is lost my will is gone nothingness is where I'm headed my little miracle is all that keeps the light inside my soul lit the flame is low and I'm affraid that it won't last or make it
Andrea Lopez Jan 2013
There's a girl out there.
And she's been looking for you.
Her only problem is,
She's distracted by all these dudes.

Hot ones
Ugly ones.
Smart and stupid.
There's athletic ones
Gamer ones
And the one who acts like a kid.

She's on the verge of crying.
Her head down, almost sobbing in despair.
She sees the guys ; thinking it's you
and they constantly give her heart little tears.

You'll find her on the street
Accepting defeat.

So it's your job to guide her.
Show her you're the one shes been looking for.
But remember to make sure she's the one.
Mistake her for none.
Ask her her name.

And she'll tell you "Lost."
Mike Hauser Aug 2018
Sometimes I sit and wonder
At the joy and plunder in this life
While some are dragged down under
Others are lifted to new heights

It's not like we're even given a choice
The powers that be have their own voice
On the verge of life and death
As time runs out its course

It's hard for you to grasp a clue
When you're being thrown for a loop
Out of nothing that you say
And certainly, nothing that you do

Sometimes it gets hard to count
The reasons aren't important now
On the verge of life and death
There's no way to figure out

Who's to say the time we make
Won't change today from yesterday
Is it circumstance or is it fate
That some stay while others fade away

I've seen them come I've seen them go
Whose next I guess soon enough we'll know
On the verge of life and death
With no way to know who will or won't
Poetry May 2015
On the verge of crying
On the verge of dying
But its okay
I'll just smile it off anyway

A smile is my natural mask
Nur Aishah Azman Jun 2014

The term wouldn’t exist if it doesn’t hurt does it?
When does it start? This feeling,
It grows bigger and larger,
And suddenly I realise,
My heart is on the verge of exploding,
Bursting with emotions that I can’t help but feeling so.

The only thing that I have want to convey and send to you is
‘I like you’, ‘I like you a lot’,
My heart, it hurts,
Evan seeing you from afar, my heartbeat goes crazy,
It's hard to breath,
How do I stop this feeling?
I am tired, I am sad, I am happy, I am anxious,
Because the only thing I have been thinking of is you,
You! You! and only you,

But crush, oh crush,
In the end you’re just a crush,
Those words,
They were never conveyed,
And I silently keep this feeling to myself,
With the faint hope that you’ll return this feeling,
In this feeble heart of mine,
And again, it hurts.

Axle Avatari Apr 2016
It’s one of those days
Where the mask is slipping
The only smile I can muster
Is so weak and pitiful
I don’t even try
The pain is just under the surface
On the verge of tears
All day long
It was just a single memory
Tugging on the vestments of our marriage
Unraveling what has already been torn apart
Into a tangled knotted mess
One thought that cascades
Into every other memory
Seeking the truth
In all of this
Where did it go wrong?
Where did I go wrong?
What was the starting point
For the ending?
I come to realize
It’s not the warning signs
I neglected to heed
It was the warning sirens
I didn’t want to hear
The excuses made
Realities altered
All the little straws
Thrown upon my back
Now feel like logs
I know there was a time
When I loved her
I know because it hurts
Hurts that I tried
And nothing really mattered
Not me
Not us
Just her
Now the pain
Is just a dull nagging ache
No longer sharp
I try not to let her cut me anymore
But she still does
And she doesn’t even know it
Worn out
Worn down
Worn away
Not much is left
Good memories?
Tainted by
Unanswered questions
I guess it doesn’t really matter
Did she ever really love me
We don’t share
We don’t care
We don’t dare
Today is hard
Hard to remember
When it was good
Hard to fake a smile
I don’t feel
On the verge of tears
I can make the earth stop in
its tracks. I made the
blue cars go away.

I can make myself invisible or small.
I can become gigantic & reach the
farthest things. I can change
the course of nature.
I can place myself anywhere in
space or time.
I can summon the dead.
I can perceive events on other worlds,
in my deepest inner mind,
& in the minds of others.

I can

I am

People need Connectors
Writers, heroes, stars,
To give life form.
A child’s sand boat facing
the sun.
Plastic soldiers in the miniature
dirt war.  Forts.
Garage Rocket Ships

Ceremonies, theatre, dances
To reassert Tribal needs & memories
a call to worship, uniting
above all, a reversion,
a longing for family & the
safety magic of childhood.

The grand highway
is crowded


Now is blessed
The rest

A man rakes leaves into
a heap in his yard, a pile,
& leans on his rake &
burns them utterly.
The fragrance fills the forest
children pause & heed the
smell, which will become
nostalgia in several years

Rain & Thunder
Jet from the base
Hot searing insect cry
The frogs & crickets
Doors open & close
The smash of glass
The Soft Parade
An accident
Rustle of silk, nylon
Watering the dry grass
Rattlesnake, whistles, castanets
Lawn mower
Good Humor man
Skates & wagons

Where’d you learn about
Satan- out of a book
Love?- out of a box

night of sin (The Fall)
-1st ***, a feeling of having
done this same act in time before
O No, not again

Between childhood, boyhood,
& manhood (maturity) there
should be sharp lines drawn w/
Tests, deaths, feats, rites
stories, songs, & judgements

Men who go out on ships
To escape sin & the mire of cities
watch the placenta of evening stars
from the deck, on their backs
& cross the equator
& perform rituals to exhume the dead
dangerous initiations
To mark passage to new levels

To feel on the verge of an exorcism
a rite of passage
To wait, or seek manhood
enlightenment in a gun

To **** childhood, innocence
in an instant
K Balachandran Jan 2014
The blue song bird
mellifluous singer admired
for her songs that melt
even hearts of rock,
riding the crust
of the adoring wind,
wit­hout a thought
suddenly alights,
heroically tries to sit,
on a high tension power line;
yet another of her
impromptu acts like before,
she labors to convince everyone
in a shrill chirping sound
that dangerously she lives
taking life in her own hands.

East wind, her companion tells
she is mistaken; he tries to push
her away from the lethal wire
on which death awaits with its dark hum

"young and wayward bird
you tell me you learn so quickly
from your mistakes, alright
from now and the moment next
lies an unknown chasm
in a jiffy if you decide to fathom it
no time is left for unlearning what it teaches
and reverse your journey
to the winter land  of darkness
from where no migratory bird has ever come back"
The bird so deaf to wind's words,
still hovers above the wire
the wind in warning hums a sad tune aloud.
TB Dentz Jul 2018
Like a lion in the desert
Scrawny and rat-like but still fierce and intimidating
Thirsty but miles from water and used to it
Outcast but used to it
Dangerous and on the verge of death but used to it
Brigette Beck Feb 2016
I'm on the verge of tears
And I need to know why.
You'd think I'd know but I don't
and I don't want to try.

To try to to figure out life
and what is unseen.
To try to be part of the world
When I'm just looking through a screen.

And I don't want to try to
Make things right
Or try to stand up for myself
And put up a fight.

And I don't want to try to
Figure out who I am.
Or try to fix my heart
When I just don't give a ****

And honestly you'd think
Since I'm on the verge of tears
I'd know what is wrong with me
But I haven't for years.

And I'm drained from the fight
I've been putting up for so long
So excuse me if I'm done
With trying to figure out what's wrong.
Axle Avatari Apr 2016
It’s one of those days
Where the mask is slipping
The only smile I can muster
Is so weak and pitiful
I don’t even try
The pain is just under the surface
On the verge of tears
All day long
It was just a single memory
Tugging on the vestments of our marriage
Unraveling what has already been torn apart
Into a tangled knotted mess
One thought that cascades
Into every other memory
Seeking the truth
In all of this
Where did it go wrong?
Where did I go wrong?
What was the starting point
For the ending?
I come to realize
It’s not the warning signs
I neglected to heed
It was the warning sirens
I didn’t want to hear
The excuses made
Realities altered
All the little straws
Thrown upon my back
Now feel like logs
I know there was a time
When I loved her
I know because it hurts
Hurts that I tried
And nothing really mattered
Not me
Not us
Just her
Now the pain
Is just a dull nagging ache
No longer sharp
I try not to let her cut me anymore
But she still does
And she doesn’t even know it
Worn out
Worn down
Worn away
Not much is left
Good memories?
Tainted by
Unanswered questions
I guess it doesn’t really matter
Did she ever really love me
We don’t share
We don’t care
We don’t dare
Today is hard
Hard to remember
When it was good
Hard to fake a smile
I don’t feel
On the verge of tears
That I don't feel
That I won't let be real
That I won't let her see
How much she hurt me
Walking around
Ready to cry
On the verge of tears
Willow-Anne Jan 2015
"Always become the one being hurt
Rather than ever hurting another"
Words I have strived to live by
The philosophy left by my mother

I've always tried to live my life
Standing up for what is right
Helping others no matter the cost
Being everyone's shining knight

What a horrible way to live

Even when I was on the verge of breaking
Even when the burden seemed too large
I always took it onto myself
And it was always free of charge

They all need to pay

But lately there is this voice
Echoing from the back of my mind
That is always fighting to take over
It wants to punish the unkind

Maybe I don't want to forgive

Tell me who is that inside me
Those thoughts can't be my own
Even when there's no one around
Somehow I am not alone

Just let me come out and play

I'm trying to keep it at bay
Am I past the point of no return?
But.... *'s my turn
I tried so hard to get this done before December was over :/
There goes the whole "post at least a poem a month for a whole year...."
Oh well.
ANYWAYS....this took a much darker/creepyer...twist than I originally intended....So....oops. sorry about that. I hope you all enjoy it though!!!!
This poem was inspired by the show Tokyo Ghoul....just...for the record. Anyways. Hope y'all like it.
betterdays Jan 2018
standing on the verge
between black and green
standing on grey gravel
the verge between
freedom and rules

behind me the cattle grid
stepping stones over
a pit filled with purple crocodiles
stepping stones between
joyful ignorance and knowledge

waiting for the big bus
peering down the road
waiting to become bigger
not knowing down the road
is just about waiting to come home

singing a little song
watching my breath
swinging my bag
all impatience and energy
waiting on the verge
when I was little, every morning  I waited for the bus, that took me to school...this is a mixed perspective of that time
The walls screamed poetry disease & ***
an inner whine like a mad machine -
dropped in a
cave of roaches
or rodents

The Computer
faces of the men

The wall collage
reading matter

The Traders (dealers)

I am a guide to the labyrinth
Come & see me
in the green hotel
Rm. 32
I will be there after 9:30 p.m.

I will show you the girl of the ghetto
I will show you the burning well
I will show you strange people
haunted, beast-like, on the
verge of evolution

-Fear The Lords who are
secret among us

Leaving the phone-booth, I was
Struck by a whiff of
the weird.
Insane old country woman
come to nag the haunts
of town
Hairy legs w/open sores.

From what swamp or under-rock
did you crawl to remind
us what we choose
to leave
Dayton Nov 2014
Alone and cold.
I do it myself.
Others try and get close,
They just wanna help.
But this emptiness inside my chest is breaking me down,
Tightening my throat,
Making me drown.
I'm sorry for the depression;
I'm just so cold.

Another night in my car thinking.
It's freezing outside,
My body keeps shaking.
On the verge of tears,
I'm doing my best to keep quite.
Only thought on my mind is them.
"Please keep having fun,
smile, laugh,
The night is young.
I'm out here so I won't bring you down,
I'm trying my best to not make
A sound"
Well, ****** up again
blythe Jan 2014
When we feel sorrow,        
When we've gone through unbearable pains,
When we're already on the verge of giving up,
When our hope was lost,
Always try to remember
The very reason why we struggled;
Our purpose and our dreams;
That would give us the strength
We need to carry on and still pursue.
These challenges and hardships will soon pass;
We must not see them as hindrances  
But rather tools to make us stronger
And to bring the best out of us.
Always look at the positive side of things and always hope for the best :)
Challenges are set before us to make a better person out of us and not to break us. ^_^
Seema Jul 2018
Different people, different ethics
Is religion, complex mathematics?
Fair, dark, almond or honey
A vice-versa change, with alot of money
Smile on faces, broken inside
Dead by feelings, happy outside
A full dictionary of words spitted
Meanings gone wrong, relations slittered
Food on table, cooked and warm
Unexpected wars, blast with bomb
Crying eyes, look for life
But hourandous beings, **** with knife
Day and night, no time to rest
Even birds have abundant their nest
Clumsy clowns, crawl in tanks
Lotted are the peoples money from banks
Clean water, is now price of gold
Almost all the shops, it's increasingly sold
Time to spare for a nice talk
But excuses come up, "busy at work"
Stress builds up, health affected
A true self is then reflected
Depression eats aways, the handful of happiness
Insanity on the verge, lost in loneliness
Praying without faith, awares your self war
Change from one religion to the other core
Brainwashed everytime you try to accomplish
But like dreams, it just demolish  
A fine night you give up your all
And jump over the bridge, one last fall
No alarms or cries of dismay
I was simply living but people mocked me as gay
Pool of blood soaked my body
I was treated like a stray dog, belonging to nobody
In peace, I am not
But enough were the battles, I fought
If only I was another human in a humans eye
My soul wouldn't be wondering in darkness and in the lighted
At least, I am not bullied in my soul form
Feel at a little peace, a little warm
Sadness binds, the cynical trend
Very soon this gay tag, will be a common brand
The hatred may no longer flounder in the air
Feelings respected and thoughts to share
Breathing and being alive is a magical boon
Live to the fullest or it might just end soon
Death is not a secret or a lie
It is just wondering around, nearby
**** your stresses before it germinates to depression
And you start to avoid your own reflection
Suicide is not the answer to any call
Or crying behind closed doors, hitting on wall
Surround yourself with positive beings
You will sing and laugh, to what joy it brings
Never let yourself down to drown
Even if thousand eyes flash with frown
Smile away, with good words of wisdom
Somewhere far, awaits your kingdom...

Spilling thoughts and imagination. Fiction.
Pauline Morris Apr 2016
On the verge of innocence
But you was so meticulous
In your vicious wickedness
I had no idea of your fecklesness
Then you left me there to die
I could see the evil in your eyes
You tried so hard your evil to impart
But I'm not as weak as you had thought
In your wickedness I will take no part

Instead I'll forgive you and steal that power
That you thought over me would tower

For no one can take my empathy
For I have tasted the agony
Of many lifes and many years
I've cried a million tears

And I can see the pain in others
Even when they try to cover
With happy smiles that don't reach the eyes
I see the tears that they lock inside
And always I'll stand by their side
That in our agony we can connect
I'll never be one that will reject

For I've traveled the road their going down
Many times in fact, I know the bumps and the sounds
Even been chased by the devils hounds
But every time I do rebound
But with the passing years it's getting harder
And soon one day I know, I'll be counted as just another martyr
Nikki Whittaker Dec 2013
Maybe if we smile
We can forget for a while
Then our pain will seem no more
And together we can walk to the shore
Because, you see, you were drowning
On the verge of death, willing
To let it all consume you
Yet, love was all you had to do
Do you love me?
Or are you just confused?
For it seems you have forgotten
That I will not be used
We weren't meant to be like this
So alone and broken
If you had let me save you
I wouldn't have spoken
I said hurtful words
You know I didn't mean it
I didn't want you to hurt
But can't you see?
This is killing me
No, I can't breathe
And I won't fall asleep
Because the blame's on me
Maybe if we smile
We can forget for a while
Then our pain will seem no more
And together we can walk to the shore
Because, you see, we were swimming
Trying our best to stay alive
Though I could tell you were willing
To let yourself die...
zebra May 2017
i breathe
one breath at a time
each inhalation linked to the exhalation before it
yet every breath stands alone
there's something tenuous about it
this soft machine is on thin ice
devoured by time in innocent increments
like a moth nibbles away wool

my heart
little gorilla
wearing itself out
rubber glove with a hole in it
weird luck

my eyes are bright
solar blue ball lanterns

if you saw me
you would say
good bones
river of envy

yet all hinges
on a muscular rhythmic pulsating machine
like a determined jaw chewing
jumpy mouth

yet on the verge of betrayal
a glitch
karmic indecision  
in destinies wheel house
a red fist locus banging

ones immense sense of self
a vainglorious elaboration
built over a small pulsating muscle

dumb blood flesh knot drumming
scarlet tribe
throne of my very soul
great sovereign
old man in a crib
splitting open of its own accord  
a sudden rip from life
to a dead sea eternity
the final frontier

starless night
howard brace Sep 2012
He'd been hanging around for some time now, indeed... he'd become rather proficient in that direction of late and although it would probably be rude to point, you could hardly accuse him of loitering... and certainly not with intent, which would have been of some considerable comfort to Norman's Mother, given his current situation, particularly since the latest complication in his otherwise dull and uneventful life, had left him predisposed towards looking a little more drawn in the face than was usual for the time of year and a decidedly deeper shade of green.

     Barely discernible, only the deeper scars now remained to  mar the roadside foliage, bearing scant witness to the motorcycle's recent and untimely misadventure... regrettably with Norman still mounted astride.  Having lost all adhesion with the freshly resurfaced country lane the motorcycle had promptly slewed sideways and across the wet grassy verge before plunging down the wooded embankment, there to encounter its own humbling demise and land in the shallow watercourse below, but it was still early Summer and already the verdant undergrowth had begun to recover.

     At the point where his motorcycle, having determined without deviation or interruption to take the most direct route to its final resting place below and follow the downwardly allure of gravity... Norman being somewhat lighter and more aerodynamic than the former had been propelled, amid a flurry of leaves and twigs headlong through the outermost branches of the nearest tree... and promptly snapped his neck... Far below a dog-eared circular proclaimed 'kidz do it better on wheelz'!!!

       In many ways it was the most handsome beech tree you could ever wish to lay eyes upon, majestic in stature and albeit stationary in nature, was full of life, contrary to its uninvited guest who decidedly was not... but who definitely was just as static as the beech tree... and which by any stretch of the imagination had far more right to be there than Norman did.
     The sudden and unforeseen turn of events of the previous forty eight hours had cast grievous, Holiday nullifying inevitability directly into the path of any plans Norman may have prematurely made in that direction... and for the moment at least to be left hanging high and dry in the lush, verdant canopy far above his motorcycle, currently languishing in the sparkling clear waters below... and it has to be said, without so much as a pair of galoshes between them, and having little else to do other than hang around nodding his head in the warm Summer breeze he swayed gently up and down in the light country air.

     Pausing mid-twitch on three legs between Norman's deceased neck and his equally demised shoulders, an inquisitive squirrel was now the prime mover in our eponymous hero's sudden and discontinued modus-operandi as it provoked involuntary nods from Normans head, gestures of consent as the prying rodent set itself to investigate in great detail the darkest, innermost depths of Norman's inside breast pocket.

     Norman's unintentional leave of absence had finally extinguished once and for all any further thought of future remittance towards the outstanding balance due on the motorcycle hire purchase agreement, which as luck would have it was just as well, because his equally unintended leave of absence, so it transpired, had also extinguished Norman... and thereby deprived him once and for all of any further thought of his outstanding ability to pay them or indeed, any further thought at all.

     The squirrel meanwhile, having brushed aside the meagre contents of Normans pocket finally emerged victorious into the subdued light of the dappled canopy, brandishing a hard won paper-tissue proudly clenched between its teeth... before moving on to other, far more pressing matters on the branch opposite... then paused to scratch its ear...  Now it may be of some interest to the reader at this point... or not, as the case may be, but the squirrel allegedly knew a friend of a friend, who incidentally runs the little B&B; further down the road and who would be prepared to swear on Norman's other-worldly life that she'd seen far worse looking faces peering back from the bathroom cabinet mirror of a Sunday morning after a ***** night out with the lads... than anything she could ever possibly imagine exercising squatters rights way above in the majestic beech tree.

     Flies seemed to be one of the few living creatures that morning who hadn't raised any objection to Norman's ill-mannered intrusion... indeed, were currently hatching plans of their own in that particular direction and take intimacy to the next level with regard to lunchtime seating arrangements... and who had assured him from day one, that while their long term prognosis for Norman attaining ***** and independent posture was by no means cut-and-dried, he should nevertheless be moving about, not necessarily under his own steam in no time at all... and by the look of his complexion, it would seem that in the interim period he should be thankful for the company.

     As the balmy Summer afternoon steadily drew to its own happy conclusion Norman, without a care in the world and now in the early larval stage of being in the family way, so to speak and shortly to shed a little life of his own... stared vacantly out at what had recently become his own neck of the woods, rapidly becoming a permanent fixture in the pastoral landscape... and while his sudden relocation may have been a real eye opener for some, for Norman he'd discovered the true meaning of be at one with nature, about the birds and the bees and especially the flies in the trees...  

     So there we must leave poor Norman with his recent and enduring affliction, nodding in the dappled shade of the majestic beech tree, playing host to the countryside and the following seasons crop rotation, leaving his Mum to worry as to whether her Son had fresh underwear that morning... or not as the case may be... the County Constabulary making their door to door enquiries as to Norman's current whereabouts... his former employer re-adjusting next months pay cheque... accordingly and the hire purchase company about to dispatch final demands indiscriminately left, right and centre for financial delinquency.  The only other claim you could probably make with any degree of certainty was that Norman's full-face motorcycle helmet had by no means achieved that which was expected of it for his ultimate well-being that day... and was doing little more than keep his hair dry and his spectacles from slipping further than his chin.
                                                           ­  ­                                                                ­ ­                                                                ­ ­             ...   ...   ...**

A work in progress.                                                        ­                                                     1122
Denel Kessler Jul 2016
on the verge of wilderness
imminent silence*

the sun stroking
peaks aglow
the thundering falls
mist-kissed rain
the solitude
so rarely reached
too often breached

stillness loosen
untamed words
in the native tongue
before thoughts
became yours

to the wild
bear these
cryptic symbols
scrawled on
my halved heart
tokens of longing
for the lost
Colette Jul 2014
We would all have come to a point,
where we are just so done putting on masks,
to conceal of whom we are,
what we feel.

And we go on living our lives,
as if nothing much had happen,
that the scars in hands doesn't sting,
that the room is darker than the immortal night.

Questions not asked,
and answers never to be revealed,
uncertainty is definitely thick in the air,
and so albeit the tension.

But how do feelings overcome insecurities of the heart?
How do we live on to everyday's life as no roller coaster ride has happened?
To feel on the verge of a thin rope,
feeling all at once that the rope may snap.

*Why do I still put on a mask,
and tell myself lies?
feeling the verge in jumping a cliff of no tomorrow and I am so sick of having to put on a mask everyday.
Tony Scallo Nov 2014
It is in my blood
I can feel its presence
When it’s on the verge
To emit a surge, every time my heart beats

An impulse,
Scurrying it’s way through the crevasses of my brain.
Tainting the walls of grey matter with a tendency for unpredictability,
Out of my reach.

I hate it
I don’t want it
I never asked for this

I can’t slow my mind down
Thoughts so fast, hit me with whiplash
It’s insanity.


I’m not insane
I can’t be
I’m rationale

I think about how I think about things,
Like it’s a cycle that never stops..

Which I guess could be my downfall
My vision says it all
When thoughts travel my mind
In dark tunnels at times
My eyes blind to the surroundings

Tunnel vision that make you claustrophobic;
You feel trapped
When all you see at the end of the tunnel,
Is the darkness of insanity

I’m rationale

I acknowledge I have a tendency to be blind to my surroundings,
How can I be blind if I can clearly see?
Is life objective or subjective?
I just want to understand--

You're stupid
What was that?
Felt like a surge, on the attack
An impulse

That voice
That’s it.


That lies,
In my brain waiting to be brought to the surface
With the surge of an impulse.
It’s the insanity that taints me,
From seeing what really is

I’m not stupid, I’m a learner.

Granted with the gift of analysis,
But darkened by the cruel nature of impulse
To taint my minds innocence

I'm not scared to think about it anymore

I am insane, because it’s what you make of it.
Insanity grants me with the gift of perspective,
Throwing a million different ones my way
Ones that are positive and ones that are new
Traveling at hundreds of miles
And this even includes

All the negative perspectives as well

At the times when I don’t want to hear them.

Insanity must be embraced and never repressed.
Repression tells you no don’t do that, it’s wrong.
When insanity isn’t embraced, it is feared.
When something that’s inevitable is feared
You’re no longer insane,

**You’ve completely lost it.
"You're only given one spark of madness, you musn't lose it." - Robin Williams
Sal Gelles Oct 2012
you can't possibly think i've been that mislead
by the simple words and excuses you've used.
for one reason or another, you continue,
and i'm feeling my kindness is abused.
i'm not one to really speak up much,
and really say how it is i feel.
but you need a reality check,
because nothing you say is real.

you keep pushing what's the truth as false
and the falsehoods i find to be quite real,
and it's beginning to make me really question,
whether or not you have the sensation to feel.
and if you do, i'm sure it's not prevalent,
for i've known the way you've said you've felt.
and as you pass through life in line,
how's that ride on the conveyor belt?

you're bound for an end, similar to all else's,
and you're bound to be quietly disappointed
in the mass amount of disappointment
you're only bound to find that's been anointed
into the fabrics, frayed and torn of your being.
but i know there's not much hope left,
that what you're really feeling at all
is nothing but a spacious cleft

**in your heart.
Rockie Apr 2015
I'm here
Watching you fix your tie
With the grace of a clumsy seal
Who got drunk
On the verge of tomorrow
And the brink of today

I'm here
Watching you stride out
With the hopefulness of a child at Christmas
Who won't go to sleep
For Santa will arrive
At midnight

I'm here
Watching you speak to the crowd
With the confidence of a frightened duckling
Who were recently hatched
Out of an egg
And into the light
Ankit J Chheda Nov 2012
It was cold city night,
The hours with sounds dying,
It seemed life had escaped,
To the other side of the world,
I rocked for hours with my child in my hands,
I dreamt about her life to come,
Like I often did,
A little eased at the fever subsided.
As I slipped into the clutches of sweet slumber,
My head slumped down,
In what seemed like a blink of an eye,
My head swung up to search the sky,
Where the gold of the sun
Seemed to chase away the night,
But there was something not right,
The morning seemed to bring a sense of change,
Not of the good kind.
As I felt my child, burning up like the coming sun,
I hurried my way to the physician,
Like a saint he answered to my prayer,
Asked me to wait behind while he tried to cure my life,
I never realized until he gave me the handkerchief,
That with my baby I’d been crying,
Her cries echoing foul against my ears,
I’m hurting as much on my helplessness
To take care of my child,
Who is part of my flesh,
Part of my being on the verge of...
Part of my being that I brought to life.
I began to sing to my baby a lullaby,
“Don’t cry my child, I’m here right by you,
For you I sing this lullaby, so you may fall asleep.
In the moonshine, your face glows,
You look like the princess
A queen you’ll grow up into,
Leave me someday for your king,
But till then be with me always,
Even when you learn to walk,
My child, so I can fulfill your wishes,
So you’ll remember me always,
So I can protect you till your king comes,
So I can teach you to walk and run.
Don’t cry, you make me cry too,
Sleep now my child, tomorrow
We’ll begin anew, for you’re alright,
This discomfort will pass… Oh look!
It’s already morn, the sun shines bright!
I see you’d fallen asleep,
While I kept dreaming on,
Open your eyes my child,
A new day has come.
As I finish, I realize that you stopped crying,
But to my plea, you never opened your eyes.
I saw you standing there
As you were staring straight at me
You mustn’t have heard me calling
Because you carried on walking
As if you hadn’t heard a thing
Like an island on the verge of crumbling
Into the deep blue sea
I am desperately trying to find someone to save me
From my dull reality
Like an island on the verge of crumbling
Into the deep blue sea

I Don’t want to come across as ***** or rude
But I’m not here to hold your hand and
Whisper sweet nothings in your ear
The ****** fantasies flickered through my mind!
As you stood there unaware
Of the fire’s you were kindling up
Girl won’t you let me fan your flames!
Ohh fan your flames! Cmon!

Opportunity came a knockin for a few swift moments
Only for father time to whisk that chance away
Ohh Where have you gone?
I’ve been searching for so long
So SO long
Like an island on the verge of crumbling
Into the deep sea
I am desperately trying to find someone to save me
From my dull reality
Don’t want to come across as ***** or rude
But I don’t just want to hold your hand
I saw you walking over there
I’m no geographer but I know my basic geography
The world ain’t flat
So by walking down there
You should be coming back
My way sometime soon
I meant to tell you all my thoughts and feelings
But I swallowed them up in the boldness
That is my pride
Hands so clammy
I choked on my words
Forming incoherent blabber
I want to be more then friends
Please disregard what those scousers told you
I don’t want to come across as ***** or rude
But I don’t just want to hold your hand
Let me take hold of this opportunity
I don’t want to spurn this chance to say
My hormones are about to implode
And I must confess
I don’t just want hold your hand tonight
Joel A Doetsch May 2012
He's a real good kid, he keeps his head down
She's pretty and polite and fun to be around
but when they're together and ain't no one in sight
They get down like animals in the middle of the night

He's walking in the door
She's lookin' to score,
knocks him to the floor
says baby do ya want some more
yeah, do ya want some more?

There's a trip slip to the bed
dip as the fly unzip, hands rip
off shoes and dress
before too long it's a
***** hot mess
put the bed to the test
as we press
You hear him confess

I love it, love it when we do the monkey lovin'
With the nails, biting, pushin' and the shovin'
between the sheets is as hot as an oven
as we become one again and again and again and again

She wraps around his waist
and he's now lost in space
taste the sweat
don't waste a second
this place is heaven
while they do the dance
lost in a trance
their faces merge
as they're on the verge
oh they're on the Verge
yeah they're on THE VERGE
as she yells out

I love it, love it when we do the monkey lovin'
With the nails, biting, pushin' and the shovin'
between the sheets is as hot as an oven
as we become one again and again and again and again

They relax between the sheets
curling their feet
hearts catch a beat
their lips meet once more

*Scratches Head*
ju Sep 2011
You’re going to be fine.
I am, see?
You will. I came to tell you stuff. Listening?
Jumble sale shoes. I know you’ve got acrylics somewhere. Paint them.
The shoes. Flowers and dragons like you draw up your arms. They’re really good by the way. No one in school draws like you.
We are. You just have to be good-different. Stop hiding the whole time. Everyone loves your drawing.
We still like painting, reading…
It’ll happen when you’re 11. The letters un-jumble and it makes sense.
And at Christmas- tell Mum it’s your idea: Keeping him away from the ***** makes him cross- no point. Give him a drink as early as possible. By noon he’s unconscious and you put him to bed. Looks like he hit his head real hard but he woke up.
It’s OK. He doesn’t remember a thing. Works every year.
Stuff heals. It gets better. Everything. Life is excellent. People say you’re pretty, won’t believe it but you are. And we live on a good street in a warm house by the sea.
Honestly, cross my heart.
There’s one last thing. Listening?
Learn to laugh silently, no sound what so ever. I know you can’t imagine it- but she gets her revenge and it’s going to be funny. Takes years. You must play along or it won‘t work. So laugh silently.
Just one example then: Do you go to the car-boot sales yet?
On a Sunday in June, only 7AM but it’s so hot! She spots a koi carp in the road.
Like a giant goldfish. This one was huge. Probably dropped by a heron or something.
She moves it onto the verge and keeps walking. It's still there at 1.30. Been baking up on that verge all morning in full sun. Smothered in ants, horrible.
She wraps it in a Tesco bag and a bin liner- it stinks. As soon as you get in she starts frying onions, making pastry, white sauce. Dad eats fish pie for supper.
She made us a separate one.

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