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Amanda Jean Oct 2016
Throat chakra ******* blocked
Happiness set back
Marijuana is in
Me pushing
For something

Alcohol on the brink of my lips!
Let me ******* breathe.
Let me take a ******* break.
Let me sink into a ******* hole.
Let me fly out of the ******* sky-
FREE ME!
FREE ME!
FREE ME!

Paranoia is on set
******* slenderman or saints
I can't be soothed!
I can't be stopped!

I was made for greatness
I was made for better than this
My heart beats with the power of our people
Thumping with thoughts from ancestors
I ******* feel it
What the **** am I feeling?
Let it out!
Let it out!
Let it out!
*******...
Let.
It.
Go.
****!

Use me
Feel me
FEEL ME

Borders untouched
Inlands unkempt
Swirling clouds of unstoppable chaos
Raining down with compassionate entities

They say welcome
We say
Welcome
Welcome
Welcome
They sing it
We scream it

We breathe everything into existence
They say its about time
You have been here before
You have been lost
But you are here now
Welcome home

We are high
We are low
We are falling and flying
and feeling and *******
Making some kind of use
In this physical
*******
LIFE

(Cant go there anymore
Cut off
Cut back
GET OUT OF MY HEAD
OUTTA MY MIND)
Malloh May 2018
Just a little
Tiny tiny tiny
Don't let them see
It's just a small-medium-large cut
Don't let them know
Throw out your breakfast-lunch-dinner
If they know, they'll scream
Your glass foundation will shatter
They'll leave you behind
You'll be locked away
Do you want to be alone again?
All alone in the dark?
It's quite scary isn't it,
Being alone with me
You know what you must do
Smile
Make promises
Lie
Act calm
Make up excuses
Do what you need to do
Stay out of the spotlight
Avoid
Avoid
Avoid
AVOID
DON'T LET THEM SEE
IT WAS THE ONE RULE
THEY SAW
THEY SAW!
RUN
YOU MUST RUN
GET AWAY
HIDE HIDE HIDE DISAPPEAR
DON'T LET THE FIND YOU
SHRINK SHRINK SHRINK
BECOME SO SMALL THAT YOU CANNOT BE SEEN
KEEP RUNNING
YOU'RE SO CLOSE
JUST A LITTLE CLOSER
LOOK DOWN AT THE CRASHING WAVES
TAKE A DEEP BREATH
RELAX YOUR MUSCLES
J U M P


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OPEN FILE

[YES]             NO


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OPENING FILE


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Name: Alec Crawford
Diagnosis: Depression. Anxiety. Violent Outbursts. Anorexia. Impulse Control Disorder.
Side Notes: Self Mutilation; Keep Patient Away From Objects Capable Of Harm. Occasional Ticks And Fidgets.
DOD: May 14, 2018.
Cause Of Death: Suicide; After Jumping Off Oceanside Cliff, Went Unconscious Upon Impact, Drowned.


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DELETE FILE?


[YES]             NO


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Deletion Complete.


-------------


I said to disappear, right?

Now I'll make sure they never know you even existed.
I think I'm going to continue making little character writings and have multiple parts for each character. Each part will be numbered.

Edit: I never expected this to get as popular as it did... I've been wanting to explain this one for a while now. The DOD was the most recent night that I planned to commit suicide. Instead, I made a character that was a spit image of me and let him do it instead...
s v e n Nov 2018
I am cold.
I am heartless.
I am nothing.
I am pointless.
I am a waste of space.
I am no good.
I am dirt.
I am ****.
I am toxic.
I am a disappointment.

I am just worthless and nothing more.
[VENT]
Zane Feb 2017
Regret

It seems to be all I'm capable of

Regret

For what I've done, nearly a year ago.

Regret.

My heart had just been shattered because of my own action, but you held my hand anyway, and told me that you forgave me. That it was okay. You convinced me of my purity. You dried my eyes with the warmth of your soul. I even heard you whisper your belief in me not being horrific.

Tears

They run down my face. The last time they grazed my cheeks was right before you walked into my life, with an irresistable smile that always laid upon your face.

Now.

You can't stand the sight of me. I can't stand the sight of me. You can't stand how my voice sounds. I can't either.

Falling

I can feel my heart falling the more i think about how you once spoke of me as an angel that left all in my wake with a sense of purpose.

I guess the whole point of this dumb ******* rant is that I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that I'm not a man.

I'm sorry that I'm not a good person.

I'm sorry,

Nicole.

I can only prey that one day I might be better. But my best is nothing to you.

Nothing

That's both what I deserve and what I long to feel.
D A W N Nov 2017
my shoulders are lonely with love and serendipity that control me; i want somebody to hold me but its useless nevertheless the truth is people leave me clueless with the things i do with. and i loved you endless like a paragraph that didnt have a sentence because it didnt have to make sense as long as it was endless; i thought it was perfect. did you shatter when i threw you into the latter. when you said everyone didnt matter except me, did you mean it. and thats not all. you told me sticks and stones wont break my bones, as long as youre there im not alone. you told me my eyes were a reverie leaving you wanting for more. keep in mind i walked to your downpour without a cover. how you told me youll love me like no other-how you used to smother all the love numbers when i thought you werent like the others. you told me actions speak louder than words. how your words cursed me and curtsied everytime you hurt me, stirred me
and i still loved you
endlessly
and if i could
i would take every breath of me
just to prove to you
that i loved you unconditionally
despite the consecutive times youve
tried to  hurt me
UNFINISHED POEM WRITTEN IN 2016  N I JUST FINISHED THIS 3 YEARS LATER I-
IS THIS EVEN A POEM
JayceeJellies Apr 2015
He appears tough, he stands tall.
But truly, underneath it all,
He's sympathetic, vulnerable.
I can't believe myself for being so horrible.

It's true that I love him,
With my heart and soul.
But's it's somewhat-
Overwhelming.

My space I feel is shifting.
I can't tell if it's a good thing.
I want him close, near by.
However, I feel scared inside.

Will he think I'm too lazy?
What if in reality I appear pudgy.
Sure, he says he doesn't mind.
I'll just be his tubby for life.

Which I kinda like,
But still.

These insecurities.
They drown me.
Very slowly,
They're suffocating.

Please God, is it too much to ask for?
Just for once, to enjoy being loved.
I want him to pick me up in an embrace!
For ***** sake, can't I just, take off these weights...

I've hurt him.
I have nothing else to say.
Requested
Astral Dec 2018

I just want to vent,
I want to fuss and complain,
So I write haikus.

*

You don't control me.
I don't even control me.
So please, just back off.


What even are we?
It's up to you to decide,
Its driving me mad.


I could just go on,
Anyway, what is the point?
Oh yeah, I'm stressed.
Oof, sorry for so many vents..
Rakha Mar 21
my mother once foretold
that my overwhelming disgust
poured onto my skin and
patches of personalities
will put me on a gridiron
and wave me as a vapor heat
bearable, annoying, and
unwanted — but!

it is a process i forego
before i love the person
who will love me more than
i despise me

and that person is me

i am my wildfire
and i am my flood
and i wreck my world
rebuild it with bare hands
the red stain on my palm
speaks of the sturdy brick i built
Katie Mar 19
I just got my school device back
From the IT department
Because the battery quit working
Last night.

The battery's fine now,
But there's a new problem -
The touchscreen quit.

Is this what it means
When someone says that they
Solved one problem with another?
Holy heck, my third trending poem!!! Thank you all so much for reading and supporting my poetry, it means the world to me!
CautiousRain Aug 2018
Speak to me in numbers
Something tangible
Calculated
Equate your feelings with something
I can infer
Without asking you to
Work these problems over again.
this ****** has me writing the same type of poem again
CautiousRain Aug 2017
Slipping, slipping, slipping,
falling through the cracks,
I nearly forgot that your
kisses felt like that
against me
with your hand brushing past
my neck,
I'm falling back,
slipping,

my fingers lace with your own
and I forgot what it felt like
to be dying;
falling,
falling
down to the earth,
keep me grounded
with the sound of your heart
beats
so serene as I fall
falling back,
back

into love with you.
I love him and sometimes he's just so dumb, but I am glad to have him back <3
patty m Dec 2015
I'm a poetry **

addicted to the high,

the ******* ride that always finds my sweet spot.  

Maybe I'm a ****,

it doesn't matter if I'm paid,

when I steal away from loved ones

to ride the waves of poetic passion and sensation.  

Undressed thought

either beautiful or lewd

slides across the sheets

embedding itself in the core of me.

I squirm in delight or

struggle against restraints,  

the whiplash of panic

bringing tears that need to vent.

until euphoria erases sight and sound.

I'm a lost cause,

spilling my heart, my love, my lust

for everyone to see.

Do you have some time

to take a ride with me?

.
all innuendo pertains to writing poetry :o)
sara Jul 2018
I'm lost in translation,
bound
by hallucinatory sensations,
found
between border and sea,
cold but free
like a continental breeze
that drifts lonely
to shore.
Still so unsure.
Then lost again, once more;
this time she's lost like never before.
Luna Craft Oct 2018
Procrastination,
a devilish friend who laughs with me in the early morning hours,
reminding me of things I have yet to do.
Ask her my name and she will sing a song of a decades march
Ask her my story and a third person will emerge from the outside
Another me, ask it if it can find its way home
I'm tired, I have so much to do
Self hatred can only erupt,
There is another me that loves myself.

It asks to be my only friend.
It responds only to bitter tongue;
Just like it was taught.

Ask me if I'm tired and I will always respond yes,
it's only conditional
Ask me if I'm sick and I'll tell you how much I think
analogies about shoving pens in my eye sockets

I am a self-hating narcissist.
I believe I need no help, yet find obscure ways to punish myself when I can't do it alone

And the other me knows I'm a liar, and it ******* loves it.
It loves the drama, it lives off of it
Let's it define a meaning
Without it I am nothing.

I am so tired of feeling emotions that hinge on the fact that I spend most of my time numb.
Ivan Lopez Jul 2018
In a veracious
Set of vividly words
I vicariously state

That you may fervently
admonish these
simplistic sentences

For within my complex
disguises of words
It alludes to this fact.
I just want to scream
and thats, that!
We try to hide our emotions out of courtesy for others. We try to understand them, our emotions that is. We give them complicated diagnosis when in reality all they want to do is air out. May you have fun saying this out loud as I did writing it down.
Secret May 2018
No.
Should I feel happy?
Should I feel grateful?
Should I know what's best?
Should I try my best?
Should I love myself?
Should I be myself?
Should I want to know other people?
Should I do what I want?
Should I stand out?
Secret Apr 16
I love drawing.
I love the feel of drawing.
I love the feel of it on my skin.
I love the feel of it tearing my skin.
I love the feel of it coming back for seconds.
I love drawing.
I love that nice red colour.
I love that nice red colour coming out of my skin.
I don't love it when people find my drawings.
:)
s v e n Oct 2018
You say
You are kind,
But you are just cruel.
You say
You don't judge,
But you critize everything.
You say
You don't care,
But you are offended.

And honestly,
I have nothing for you.
I feel nothing for you.

You hurt others who don't agree with you.
You yell at others for no reason.
You cry for pity.
You lie so others can give you attention.

You are nothing to me.
Rivers, eyes, pools of blood, dense and hollow all at once,
Colors shifting like embers, burning like flame, the blue kind,
Deceptively cool in appearance but in truth,
Truth,
The most deadly of anything.

Can’t cry, can’t smile, can’t feel,
Can’t be real,
But can’t be dead because if I were
Maybe it wouldn’t be so ******* cold,
But to hell with the idea that I’m alive,
That’s *******
Just like everything else they said and don’t you *******
DARE
Ask me who “they” are

Because

They are the directors of the last movie that caused me to panic
They are the boy cracking his ******* knuckles in class and overloading my senses
They are the dark and the shadows that I’m scared of
They are the light that I want more than anything and then
They become the tall ******* in second grade who held your books over your head, just out of reach of your chubby little hands

Except the “books” just out of my reach aren’t stories now, they’re lightbulbs
Which is the most boring thing ever to a kid
But when you grow up and the lightbulbs go out and you reach for a replacement and it’s not there
You’re even more scared of the dark than you were when you were 5.
So you do the thing where you lay really still and wait for the sun to come up but hey, surprise surprise,
It never ******* does, and you forget there was ever a time when you weren’t laying still in the dark.
Hell, you forget there was even a sun in the first place.

And yeah, maybe it sounds like I’m making the whole world out to be against me but sometimes
It just feels like it is,
Maybe they didn’t mean to do it but the road to hell is paved with good intentions and
At this point my backpack is full of ******* cement so
I guess I’m to blame too,
Paving my own path to hell which would be poetic if the heat would stop burning
all
my
*******
nerves

away
I've been having a lot of bad nights lately
Tap Water Oct 2018
Obnoxious buzzing rings through my sleep-deprived head, like usual.
I get up, get changed, don’t bother to eat.
Once again, like usual.
Every day, the same routine,
Go to school, fake emotions, learn useless stuff,
Go home, procrastinate, dive under the blanket and enter the void of sleep.
It makes me feel like a stupid robot
Who can’t do good, no matter how hard she tries.
At this point, the only thing keeping me alive
Is a dog who’s going to die in 7 years,
A goat who’s probably been sold and eaten,
And four mutts who will die in the next 3 years.
Sometimes I wonder why I even bother trying.

I hate having to hide behind a mask,
To hide my true self behind someone who’s not me.
A probably depressed insomniac Autist, hidden by a neurotypical extrovert.
Because the real me is labeled as ‘socially unacceptable’
While the fake me is apparently a ‘good person’.

When I show my true self,
I feel like ending it, right there, right then.
Because nobody accepts the mess I am.
They tell me it’s hormones,
Or it’s not really what I think it is,
Or I’m just faking it for attention.
I want to tell them it’s not that,
I try to tell them it’s not that,
But the feelings I abandoned years ago
Come flooding back as my broken soul cracks even more.

Oh jeez, I’m sorry, I’m rambling again, aren’t I?
I mutter and type as I sit at this desk,
In a classroom too bright for my sore, tired eyes.
Nervously nibbling at my too-short fingernails
And shuddering even though it isn’t that cold.
Rubbing my already half-closed eyes,
I sigh and wrap up this long mess of words.
Wrote this for English class. It's really more of a vent than a poem tbh.
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