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"vaguely" poems
Picasso you give us things which bulge:grunting lungs pumped full of sharp thick mind you make us shrill presents always shut in the sumptuous screech of simplicity (out of the black unbunged Something gushes vaguely a squeak of planes or between squeals of Nothing grabbed with circular shrieking tightness solid screams whispers.) Lumberman of the Distinct your brain’s axe only chops hugest inherent Trees of Ego,from whose living and biggest bodies lopped of every prettiness you hew form truly
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Picasso
A penny sits in the middle of my hand. Vaguely warm and slightly worn But still shining brightly. On one side you see the current residence of The late Abraham Lincoln. On the other you see the man himself Facing to the right As if watching for assassins. I roll it around in my palm, The rough edges scraping past my Calloused hands. I can almost hear it sigh With relief as I put it back Down again.
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Nov 14, 2012
Nov 14, 2012 at 7:14 PM UTC
Hard Work
When people ask if you're weird, or tell you, or want to believe themselves strange, eclectic, or odd. It's vaguely disgusting to me, cringeworthy in a mild degree. We think we're so different, but we are not. The individualism of people should be and is comparable to the individualism of ants. Who looks at the anthill and sees something in particular, something behaving specifically "uniquely" from every ant and every anthill? Why do you believe in yourself? I see this, as a conversation about depression, and your partner does not respect you but instead wants to tell you how they feel worse, or have it worse, or "understand" more about the affirmation or situation. A person looking for individuality through a lens of misery, anguish, and sadness, is truly alone in their minds, and missing the reality that these depressions exist without them. The statement, "you are not alone" is an attack, or an offense to these people, because it says "you are not as unique as you think", it strips them of their identity and individuality. This is true of many ideologies and affirmations. I quit individuality, this constricting sense of holding everything of yourself in center, to be a drop in the whole, something fluid. If you split your affirmations from yourself, you'd see we're all the same; Affirmations are just currents in the ocean. I look at myself; and people see a man, a radical feminist, and sometimes a musician. As labels, these each have their own presupposed notions, [especially, "man" or "male" in the patriarchal gaze] which hardly, if ever, are true, but as affirmations, when I consent to using them, these are no longer stereotypes that constrain me, but similarities that I realize I can embrace or shut out in others. Affirmations do not make me more unique, but similar to more people. If I remove these affirmations to try and get to my "true" center, my purest form of self, I see I am without meaning. This is why I quit Individuality.
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Jun 28, 2014
Jun 28, 2014 at 1:59 PM UTC
"Why I Quit Individuality."
When people ask if you're weird, or tell you, or want to believe themselves strange, eclectic, or odd. It's vaguely disgusting to me, cringeworthy in a mild degree. We think we're so different, but we are not. The individualism of people should be and is comparable to the individualism of ants. Who looks at the anthill and sees something in particular, something behaving specifically "uniquely" from every ant and every anthill? Why do you believe in yourself? I see this, as a conversation about depression, and your partner does not respect you but instead wants to tell you how they feel worse, or have it worse, or "understand" more about the affirmation or situation. A person looking for individuality through a lens of misery, anguish, and sadness, is truly alone in their minds, and missing the reality that these depressions exist without them. The statement, "you are not alone" is an attack, or an offense to these people, because it says "you are not as unique as you think", it strips them of their identity and individuality. This is true of many ideologies and affirmations. I quit individuality, this constricting sense of holding everything of yourself in center, to be a drop in the whole, something fluid. If you split your affirmations from yourself, you'd see we're all the same; Affirmations are just currents in the ocean. I look at myself; and people see a man, a radical feminist, and sometimes a musician. As labels, these each have their own presupposed notions, [especially, "man" or "male" in the patriarchal gaze] which hardly, if ever, are true, but as affirmations, when I consent to using them, these are no longer stereotypes that constrain me, but similarities that I realize I can embrace or shut out in others. Affirmations do not make me more unique, but similar to more people. If I remove these affirmations to try and get to my "true" center, my purest form of self, I see I am without meaning. This is why I quit Individuality.
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52
Dear, though the night is gone, Its dream still haunts today, That brought us to a room Cavernous, lofty as A railway terminus, And crowded in that gloom Were beds, and we in one In a far corner lay. Our whisper woke no clocks, We kissed and I was glad At everything you did, Indifferent to those Who sat with hostile eyes In pairs on every bed, Arms round each other's neck, Inert and vaguely sad. O but what worm of guilt Or what malignant doubt Am I the victim of, That you then, unabashed, Did what I never wished, Confessed another love; And I, submissive, felt Unwanted and went out?
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Dear, Though the Night Is Gone
same setting from a year ago... i am not sure why, but before the clock strikes twelve midnight, my eyes would surely open no matter what. coffee in bed right now, with a few cookies to munch.... my bifocals, where are they? i need them now...i could vaguely see something crawls on the carpet, making rounds, circling my bed... oh, no, it is hopping towards my comforter... I stretch a leg beneath the pillows something moves very near my toes. i withdraw my leg, alarmed, as it quickly disappears... ...then reappears!  now stationary... this is starting to annoy me... I poke it with a pencil, fear no longer present, now, with my bifocals found. but it hops.....and hops... and hops into hiding down.....down.....below, somewhere inside my comforter. In lieu of me, it is now the  comforted. it is taking too long to come out. .....something i realized just now..... could it be possible, could it remember... i was kind enough not to use a swatter before.... why, i feel like i am being welcomed! we are playing hide-and-seek, a welcome dance it is! here and now, just like before from last  autumn, we are finally reunited, my cricket friend and i....   S a l l y   Copyright  2013      Rosalia Rosario A. Bayan
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Nov 1, 2013
Nov 1, 2013 at 1:03 AM UTC
.....reunited.....
All strung out        on sadness, empty shells of needles       that injected the next defense       to keep me going splayed upon the coldness             of metal somewhere in a place lower than the floorboards of the nether regions of a private hell, where no one sees       the truth behind the doors of            beaten swords of silken pictures in frothy shades of effervescent green a smiling happy family in which the sounds of drowning can only be              vaguely heard a faded gurgle        in an ocean of sighs Somewhere, there, the pain in my veins spreads like a self-administered                        drug only it's not my prescription, at all just a parody from the very     sick doctor who shares           this house, meant to be a home one who thinks he knows it all but knows nothing In this dreamlike weaving of staring blankly into alternative spaces when all is so heavy that even breathing is a task I suddenly remember    who the **** I am and push my gaze through the ceiling cracks to look up at          the stars, receiving their             shadows            of light       like a blessing    upon my    nettle-stung     tongue and        rise
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Sep 19, 2016
Sep 19, 2016 at 5:27 PM UTC
Empty Shells and Starlight
when i was a freshman one of my friends told me that there was a girl who was talking about me asking why i was pretending to be straight and that everyone could tell that i was gay my friends and i laughed it off like children and i quipped “i’m not pretending anything, just ask anyone and they’ll know” now, i think of the rainbow socks, the only thing i own with a rainbow on it, being shoved down to the bottom of my sock drawer as if it would pop out at any minute and proclaim it’s existence if it were any higher. now, i think of the rainbow highlight that i applies in the bathroom at midnight, pausing every now and again to make sure i was alone. Now, i think of the pride nail art that i scrubbed off my nails minutes after i painted it on. now, i think of the last word in a poem that i wrote and turned in, scared i was being too obvious with the word they. now, i think of the horrible creature sitting in my chest that simultaneously begs to never tell my secrets and to also scream them from the roof tops. i think of the sludge that lives in me and climbs up my throat, whispering safety into my ear while also ripping apart everything it touches. i think of the pain i feel whenever i say that i’m gay, because it makes things easier if the works sees me as a girl who loves other girls. before thinking of this poem i had sat back and wondered how many bottles it would take of the various prescription medicines that my parents kept in the kitchen cabinet to **** me. when i remembered the name they would put on the tombstone i stopped and walked away. i remember the time where i couldn’t walk away and i had reached in and grabbed a full bottle of ibuprofen and i took a single one, hoping that my screaming head could be sated by the feeling of a single pill crawling down my throat. i had a dream last night about someone called addison. they looked me in the eyes and before i even knew what they looked like their physical form flickered until they were a bright shining star in a vaguely human form. they sat next to me as we floated in a void on a picnic blanket and they put their arm around my shoulder which felt like a hug from someone i used to know but had forgotten i stared at their glasses that looked too much like mine as they flickered in and out of existence and they told me i was not where i was supposed to be. i didnt ask them where but they heard it anyways as if breaking into my thoughts. they answered that they could not tell me and when i thought why they said they didn’t want to spoil the fun of a brighter future for them and me. i woke up with the taste of lavender on my tongue and the desire to change my name.
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Aug 6, 2018
Aug 6, 2018 at 1:11 AM UTC
closeted
when i was a freshman one of my friends told me that there was a girl who was talking about me asking why i was pretending to be straight and that everyone could tell that i was gay my friends and i laughed it off like children and i quipped “i’m not pretending anything, just ask anyone and they’ll know” now, i think of the rainbow socks, the only thing i own with a rainbow on it, being shoved down to the bottom of my sock drawer as if it would pop out at any minute and proclaim it’s existence if it were any higher. now, i think of the rainbow highlight that i applies in the bathroom at midnight, pausing every now and again to make sure i was alone. Now, i think of the pride nail art that i scrubbed off my nails minutes after i painted it on. now, i think of the last word in a poem that i wrote and turned in, scared i was being too obvious with the word they. now, i think of the horrible creature sitting in my chest that simultaneously begs to never tell my secrets and to also scream them from the roof tops. i think of the sludge that lives in me and climbs up my throat, whispering safety into my ear while also ripping apart everything it touches. i think of the pain i feel whenever i say that i’m gay, because it makes things easier if the works sees me as a girl who loves other girls. before thinking of this poem i had sat back and wondered how many bottles it would take of the various prescription medicines that my parents kept in the kitchen cabinet to **** me. when i remembered the name they would put on the tombstone i stopped and walked away. i remember the time where i couldn’t walk away and i had reached in and grabbed a full bottle of ibuprofen and i took a single one, hoping that my screaming head could be sated by the feeling of a single pill crawling down my throat. i had a dream last night about someone called addison. they looked me in the eyes and before i even knew what they looked like their physical form flickered until they were a bright shining star in a vaguely human form. they sat next to me as we floated in a void on a picnic blanket and they put their arm around my shoulder which felt like a hug from someone i used to know but had forgotten i stared at their glasses that looked too much like mine as they flickered in and out of existence and they told me i was not where i was supposed to be. i didnt ask them where but they heard it anyways as if breaking into my thoughts. they answered that they could not tell me and when i thought why they said they didn’t want to spoil the fun of a brighter future for them and me. i woke up with the taste of lavender on my tongue and the desire to change my name.
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A is for Alpha B is for Barbie C is for Couple D is for Destiny E is for Engagement F is for Fancy G is for Gullible H is for Happy I is for Illusion J is for Jealous K is for Kingdom L is for Lonely M is for Mistress N is for Nagging O is for Often P is for Pregnant Q is for Question R is for Rejecting S is for Suicide T is for Traumatize U is for Understand V is for Vaguely W is for Whisky X is for Xanax Y is for Yesterday Z is for Zombie.
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Jul 6, 2018
Jul 6, 2018 at 3:07 AM UTC
Alpha bets
When I was very little, my dad used to make up songs about what he was doing around the house. Getting ready to go fishing, he'd make up a song. Making lunch; he'd make up a song. And once, he was making coffee, and I vaguely remember it. My dad was holding me while he was pouring the coffee into the coffee filter, The water in the coffee *** I remember him looking at me and smiling and then he sang: "I love coffee," he'd sing and I'd echo with what he'd sing. "Coffee every day," "When I wake in the morning," "It gets me on my way." -J
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Apr 23, 2017
Apr 23, 2017 at 12:26 PM UTC
I Love Coffee
It’s weird how one vaguely remembers important days, Like a friend’s birthday. But I’ll remember one day, And no, it wasn’t my friend’s birthday, But actually, it was mother’s day. I’ll always remember it, Because you said you were cooking for your mom And I remember thinking: “What a gentleman!” I’ll remember it because you were at church that day, And I laughed because the idea of you being at church, Made me believe for a while that you were actually a “Good boy”- a gentleman. Most of all though, I’ll remember that day, Because you practically asked me If I liked you. I remember saying to myself: “He’s a genius!” Because you twisted it up, But to be frank, I would have done the same thing too. Instead of saying : “Do you like me ?” – (like a normal being); You asked : “Is there a boy that you currently like?” I also remember thinking , “How awkward” Because my feelings for you were as clear as the sea, But here you are asking, if I liked you. I’ll remember that day, because I imagined how misty the smoke would look as it forced its way out of your lungs, After a deep inhalation of the one you called: “Marie” I’ll remember creating scenes in the desert of my mind Of how it would feel to meet you for the first time – if you’d hug me and smile, Like a gentle man. I’ll remember that day because I kept wondering: “What if our first encounter was bad? “ “What if he doesn’t like what he sees?” – I remember laughing because thought it was funny. I’ll remember thinking that I should stop building feelings for you so fast. I’ll remember it because I made my imaginations get the better of me – I imagined us in the place where my only use for that place is to sleep. I’ll remember that day because trying to get you off my mind failed once more- Because when I fell asleep you were at the forefront of my mind And when I woke up, You still were.
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Jun 13, 2014
Jun 13, 2014 at 12:34 PM UTC
Gentleman
It’s weird how one vaguely remembers important days, Like a friend’s birthday. But I’ll remember one day, And no, it wasn’t my friend’s birthday, But actually, it was mother’s day. I’ll always remember it, Because you said you were cooking for your mom And I remember thinking: “What a gentleman!” I’ll remember it because you were at church that day, And I laughed because the idea of you being at church, Made me believe for a while that you were actually a “Good boy”- a gentleman. Most of all though, I’ll remember that day, Because you practically asked me If I liked you. I remember saying to myself: “He’s a genius!” Because you twisted it up, But to be frank, I would have done the same thing too. Instead of saying : “Do you like me ?” – (like a normal being); You asked : “Is there a boy that you currently like?” I also remember thinking , “How awkward” Because my feelings for you were as clear as the sea, But here you are asking, if I liked you. I’ll remember that day, because I imagined how misty the smoke would look as it forced its way out of your lungs, After a deep inhalation of the one you called: “Marie” I’ll remember creating scenes in the desert of my mind Of how it would feel to meet you for the first time – if you’d hug me and smile, Like a gentle man. I’ll remember that day because I kept wondering: “What if our first encounter was bad? “ “What if he doesn’t like what he sees?” – I remember laughing because thought it was funny. I’ll remember thinking that I should stop building feelings for you so fast. I’ll remember it because I made my imaginations get the better of me – I imagined us in the place where my only use for that place is to sleep. I’ll remember that day because trying to get you off my mind failed once more- Because when I fell asleep you were at the forefront of my mind And when I woke up, You still were.
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it landed on my shoulder and chirped in my ear your voice i closed its beak but it rang in my ear its ignorant eyes blinked vaguely back i had made you up once again
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Aug 18, 2013
Aug 18, 2013 at 9:20 PM UTC
Parrot
I fall in love too easily Feel pain too quickly I let my heart flutter too simply Feel torn too hastily Is this what LOVE is? So one-sided. unrequited. desperate. In these foolish feelings I am like a lost child in a hide and seek game waiting to be found. Hoping one day you will see me as more than just another vaguely familiar face. But I know i was never on your mind... Please don't feel guilty. Just know... if you ever think of me even for a second. I’ll be here waiting.
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Sep 8, 2017
Sep 8, 2017 at 4:06 AM UTC
WAITING
the sound of a wave lapping, summer thickens and suddenly everything is vaguely surreal, under the hidden stomach of the stars ghosts of silver struggle in the white light. when the water splashes little islands croon. love, rescues me from the millions of pieces where i lie scattered.
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Jun 12, 2016
Jun 12, 2016 at 9:01 AM UTC
the sound of a wave lapping....
As I walked out one evening, Walking down Bristol Street, The crowds upon the pavement Were fields of harvest wheat. And down by the brimming river I heard a lover sing Under an arch of the railway: "Love has no ending. "I'll love you, dear, I'll love you Till China and Africa meet, And the river jumps over the mountain And the salmon sing in the street, "I'll love you till the ocean Is folded and hung up to dry And the seven stars go squawking Like geese about the sky. "The years shall run like rabbits, For in my arms I hold The Flower of the Ages, And the first love of the world." But all the clocks in the city Began to whirr and chime: "O let not Time deceive you, You cannot conquer Time. "In the burrows of the Nightmare Where Justice naked is, Time watches from the shadow And coughs when you would kiss. "In headaches and in worry Vaguely life leaks away, And Time will have his fancy To-morrow or to-day. "Into many a green valley Drifts the appalling snow; Time breaks the threaded dances And the diver's brilliant bow. "O plunge your hands in water, Plunge them in up to the wrist; Stare, stare in the basin And wonder what you've missed. "The glacier knocks in the cupboard, The desert sighs in the bed, And the crack in the tea-cup opens A lane to the land of the dead. "Where the beggars raffle the banknotes And the Giant is enchanting to Jack, And the Lily-white Boy is a Roarer, And Jill goes down on her back. "O look, look in the mirror? O look in your distress: Life remains a blessing Although you cannot bless. "O stand, stand at the window As the tears scald and start; You shall love your crooked neighbour With your crooked heart." It was late, late in the evening, The lovers they were gone; The clocks had ceased their chiming, And the deep river ran on.
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As I Walked Out One Evening
As I walked out one evening, Walking down Bristol Street, The crowds upon the pavement Were fields of harvest wheat. And down by the brimming river I heard a lover sing Under an arch of the railway: "Love has no ending. "I'll love you, dear, I'll love you Till China and Africa meet, And the river jumps over the mountain And the salmon sing in the street, "I'll love you till the ocean Is folded and hung up to dry And the seven stars go squawking Like geese about the sky. "The years shall run like rabbits, For in my arms I hold The Flower of the Ages, And the first love of the world." But all the clocks in the city Began to whirr and chime: "O let not Time deceive you, You cannot conquer Time. "In the burrows of the Nightmare Where Justice naked is, Time watches from the shadow And coughs when you would kiss. "In headaches and in worry Vaguely life leaks away, And Time will have his fancy To-morrow or to-day. "Into many a green valley Drifts the appalling snow; Time breaks the threaded dances And the diver's brilliant bow. "O plunge your hands in water, Plunge them in up to the wrist; Stare, stare in the basin And wonder what you've missed. "The glacier knocks in the cupboard, The desert sighs in the bed, And the crack in the tea-cup opens A lane to the land of the dead. "Where the beggars raffle the banknotes And the Giant is enchanting to Jack, And the Lily-white Boy is a Roarer, And Jill goes down on her back. "O look, look in the mirror? O look in your distress: Life remains a blessing Although you cannot bless. "O stand, stand at the window As the tears scald and start; You shall love your crooked neighbour With your crooked heart." It was late, late in the evening, The lovers they were gone; The clocks had ceased their chiming, And the deep river ran on.
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Remember me as a time of day in the same way you create an acute awareness of the sun beginning to stream through by the ill protective armor of your window. As your alarm goes off in the morning remember me in those moments that you wipe the sleep away from your eyes and vaguely remember your dream which was once your most vivid reality. Remember me like I am three hours past noon and you're reminiscing on the days that once existed when you would be dying to leave the four walls of your adolescent day job. Remember me like I'm the comfort of your favorite jacket you would throw on to protect yourself from the cold, day in and day out. Remember me like I'm 4:45 in the morning and you're in your teenage years contemplating if it's still okay for you to wake mom and dad out of their deep sleep just to go along with your love for Christmas morning. In that time remember me like I'm the peace that surrounded you and the excitement that caused you to lose sleep. Remember me as I'm seconds short of nine in the evening and you sit by the fire awaiting your favorite TV show. In that moment remember me as the adventure you anxiously awaited your eyes to meet, and the shadow of the warmth cast around your feet. Remember me as a time of day through sun up and sun down whether there or not through time will I arrive by regards of the clock and I'll meet your mind as I stand watch.
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Jan 15, 2015
Jan 15, 2015 at 1:46 AM UTC
Remember Me As a Time of Day
Side by side, their faces blurred, The earl and countess lie in stone, Their proper habits vaguely shown As jointed armour, stiffened pleat, And that faint hint of the absurd - The little dogs under their feet. Such plainness of the pre-baroque Hardly involves the eye, until It meets his left-hand gauntlet, still Clasped empty in the other; and One sees, with a sharp tender shock, His hand withdrawn, holding her hand. They would not think to lie so long. Such faithfulness in effigy Was just a detail friends would see: A sculptor's sweet commissioned grace Thrown off in helping to prolong The Latin names around the base. They would no guess how early in Their supine stationary voyage The air would change to soundless damage, Turn the old tenantry away; How soon succeeding eyes begin To look, not read. Rigidly they Persisted, linked, through lengths and breadths Of time. Snow fell, undated. Light Each summer thronged the grass. A bright Litter of birdcalls strewed the same Bone-littered ground. And up the paths The endless altered people came, Washing at their identity. Now, helpless in the hollow of An unarmorial age, a trough Of smoke in slow suspended skeins Above their scrap of history, Only an attitude remains: Time has transfigures them into Untruth. The stone fidelity They hardly meant has come to be Their final blazon, and to prove Our almost-instinct almost true: What will survive of us is love.
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8.8k
An Arundel Tomb
You know the type. She's probably called something like Isabella. Rosalie. Ginevra. and you find her in the sort of novel where she's outdone by someone called something like Jane. Agnes. Lucy. She's remembered in criticism as Trivial. Silly. Foolish. She's defined as Shallow. Vain. False gold. She's analysed as the mirror, the contrast or the foil and you're supposed to vaguely dislike her. She'll reaffirm to the reader that the heroine, whether she be plain or beautiful, is always, in the end, Rational. Independent. Brave. She reaffirms the heroine as someone who learns and grows while the silly girl is left looking at herself in the mirror. The thing is sometimes I feel more like the silly girl, the girl who needs a hand, the girl who reads books and wants to believe the stories. Sometimes, I'm looking in the mirror, chest deep in my own trivial, silly little worries, looking at the puddles not the lake, and I know. I know I'd be one of the silly girls, not the heroine, out there, just surviving. I'd be one of those silly girls and I hate it - and yet - what's so wrong with the silly girls? What's so wrong with the girls who love themselves, or love the wrong people or love their clothes? What's wrong with the girls who are brave but not rational, independent but trivial, selfish but practical? What's wrong with those girls, because I always find myself preferring the Ginevras and the Isabellas anyway.
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Jan 9, 2018
Jan 9, 2018 at 11:56 AM UTC
silly and frivolous
My dear, if you were to cut me open, to tear away my measly skin, you would not find the contents of an ordinary human being. You would not find veins or internal organs, especially not a human heart. Instead, you would find a battlefield, with freshly made bomb craters and you would find discarded bullets, fashioned from spiteful words, that were perhaps destined for use on my worst enemies but were instead aimed at myself. You would find the remains of a daisy field with the left over petals looking vaguely like feathers that fell from doves or perhaps even angels. You would find memories of a tiny village once colourful and lively but swept away by multiple hurricanes, that took all happiness and innocence along with them. Blood would not pour from my lifeless body, but dark cigarette smoke would seep from the wounds, and if you closely investigated, you would find that the fumes were made up of microscopic black moths that had all my lies and promises carefully written all over their feeble wings For I am not a human being, but simply a worn out shell of one.
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Dec 9, 2013
Dec 9, 2013 at 3:01 PM UTC
Chambers
There are too many things I still want to do with you Baseball games in the blistering heat so I can Instagram our love Trips to the city I'll tweet about just vaguely enough that people wonder what we did all night in that big hotel room Swimming with sharks getting likes on our Facebook photos and jealous messages from our friends Our relationship was always set to private I guess I liked it better that way but whether or not my friends can see it there are too many things I still want to do with you Please don't be done with me yet
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Jun 7, 2014
Jun 7, 2014 at 5:01 PM UTC
Linked(In)
she had always said her favorite color was yellow for the girl with buttery skin and crystal eyes it seemed rather fitting yellow was the color of sunshine and the color of her hair after it had been bleached by summer it was the color of the bumblebees that drank from her favorite flowers flowers that now line her grave she told you her favorite color was yellow because she knew you needed someone radiant with light to ease the depth of your own darkness so she said when autumn arrived you could watch the ground become littered with yellow leaves together when you asked what color lie beneath her skin she told you it was yellow she made herself believe her body was freckled from stardust and not from the amber glow of cigarette burns she still said her favorite color was yellow so she could continue being the light in your colorless world soon enough your favorite color was yellow too but not for the same reasons she fell in love with it you only saw yellow vaguely in the form of teeth stained from tobacco and too much coffee smiling grimly through cracked lips dripping poisoned honey you guilded the word ¨love¨ with muted ochre lies and now she no longer feels the warmth that once emanated from her favorite color she no longer tastes the sweetness of butterscotch and papaya on your lips for you left her with nothing but the sour residue of lemons and bile as your gentle breath extinguished her golden flames and reduced her heart to ash and now she realizes that bumblebees can also administer a piercing sting and as she watches the sunset with its amber hues she no longer sees the color yellow x.
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Jul 10, 2018
Jul 10, 2018 at 12:14 AM UTC
her favorite color was yellow
she had always said her favorite color was yellow for the girl with buttery skin and crystal eyes it seemed rather fitting yellow was the color of sunshine and the color of her hair after it had been bleached by summer it was the color of the bumblebees that drank from her favorite flowers flowers that now line her grave she told you her favorite color was yellow because she knew you needed someone radiant with light to ease the depth of your own darkness so she said when autumn arrived you could watch the ground become littered with yellow leaves together when you asked what color lie beneath her skin she told you it was yellow she made herself believe her body was freckled from stardust and not from the amber glow of cigarette burns she still said her favorite color was yellow so she could continue being the light in your colorless world soon enough your favorite color was yellow too but not for the same reasons she fell in love with it you only saw yellow vaguely in the form of teeth stained from tobacco and too much coffee smiling grimly through cracked lips dripping poisoned honey you guilded the word ¨love¨ with muted ochre lies and now she no longer feels the warmth that once emanated from her favorite color she no longer tastes the sweetness of butterscotch and papaya on your lips for you left her with nothing but the sour residue of lemons and bile as your gentle breath extinguished her golden flames and reduced her heart to ash and now she realizes that bumblebees can also administer a piercing sting and as she watches the sunset with its amber hues she no longer sees the color yellow x.
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Teetering on her baby legs A newborn with a Solo cup bombastic red with a few undulating ribs Held firmly in her hand Is this her first or her third? Somnambulant yet eager And just a little out of place In a foreign territory On newly contested lands She stumbles through a raucous crowd Or was it just white noise? She’s lost her companions Somewhere Although they could very well be close at hand In the distance she can make out Laughing faces Bodies moving to and fro Spilling forward, little messes Throwing back cheap libation She passes through a room and out the door Into the out-of-doors Someone following her unbeknownst Watching her cautious, curious steps And when she turns and sees the blur standing She greets it “Hail Fellow!” Bouncing from variable to variable Frequency to frequency Confident and in command Of a seemingly controlled chaos He approaches smiling and holds out his hand Anonymous Having drawn her attention from the stars That she could not find above Leaning against the garage’s eastern wall She takes it awkwardly Tentative she smiles back reassured Wobbling she returns standing alongside him Or was she in front? Purposeful and en route Emboldened by his presence And how the way was parted before her Just by his being there. By being so close. She felt vaguely special it showed in her half-smile Cloaked in bangs She held her head just a little bit higher The co-conspiratorial glances Met by boys eyes And shes Went unseen by the girl with the Solo cup One of tens upon tens upon tens A coven would have known It’s better not to However. She was shown a seat to rest And her cup refilled She takes a sip and smiles again She takes another and then a gulp That spills He takes the cup away And places it on the low table Suggests she go to the restroom upstairs and get herself Sorted Embarrassed she is relieved for direction Someone knows what’s going on And his caring Taking the time His kind eyes She’s usually alone She waddles up the stairs to find a toilet and a mirror God she thinks I look a mess She tries to fix it The hair The eyes The lips The dress The stomach The ******* The thighs She shrugs her shoulders at her reflection Exhales and steps out again To find him standing there waiting for more. She wants another cup. She’s missing her cup. I’ll get you the cup he says In just a second. Come.
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Sep 30, 2018
Sep 30, 2018 at 3:53 PM UTC
Solo Cup
Teetering on her baby legs A newborn with a Solo cup bombastic red with a few undulating ribs Held firmly in her hand Is this her first or her third? Somnambulant yet eager And just a little out of place In a foreign territory On newly contested lands She stumbles through a raucous crowd Or was it just white noise? She’s lost her companions Somewhere Although they could very well be close at hand In the distance she can make out Laughing faces Bodies moving to and fro Spilling forward, little messes Throwing back cheap libation She passes through a room and out the door Into the out-of-doors Someone following her unbeknownst Watching her cautious, curious steps And when she turns and sees the blur standing She greets it “Hail Fellow!” Bouncing from variable to variable Frequency to frequency Confident and in command Of a seemingly controlled chaos He approaches smiling and holds out his hand Anonymous Having drawn her attention from the stars That she could not find above Leaning against the garage’s eastern wall She takes it awkwardly Tentative she smiles back reassured Wobbling she returns standing alongside him Or was she in front? Purposeful and en route Emboldened by his presence And how the way was parted before her Just by his being there. By being so close. She felt vaguely special it showed in her half-smile Cloaked in bangs She held her head just a little bit higher The co-conspiratorial glances Met by boys eyes And shes Went unseen by the girl with the Solo cup One of tens upon tens upon tens A coven would have known It’s better not to However. She was shown a seat to rest And her cup refilled She takes a sip and smiles again She takes another and then a gulp That spills He takes the cup away And places it on the low table Suggests she go to the restroom upstairs and get herself Sorted Embarrassed she is relieved for direction Someone knows what’s going on And his caring Taking the time His kind eyes She’s usually alone She waddles up the stairs to find a toilet and a mirror God she thinks I look a mess She tries to fix it The hair The eyes The lips The dress The stomach The ******* The thighs She shrugs her shoulders at her reflection Exhales and steps out again To find him standing there waiting for more. She wants another cup. She’s missing her cup. I’ll get you the cup he says In just a second. Come.
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you see i had always felt that in a dream i was the absence of the dream and then it dawned on me that i was in a time piece trapped during forgotten hours where everything is alien but vaguely familiar the beach beneath me wandering off to anywhere but here and i straddle the shoreline palming stray shards of sea glass always the color of her eyes and i am abruptly upside down an upheaval, a maw where i thought it as a nightly revenge for skipping stones and again i am upended & back on the beach born of broken hourglasses and it makes me think that god likes to watch things leave me
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Feb 15, 2014
Feb 15, 2014 at 11:35 AM UTC
again
Nobody was born today But you picked up a cake anyway for five dollars fifty plus tax Now you're watching Criminal Minds on a couch made for three and eating it with your hands It vaguely occurs to you that you should be sharing it with someone or at least put on some **** candles You're not even hungry you don't even need to fill a void you did good today You hardly even miss her anymore. You haven't thought about it in weeks. If you just slept you'd be fine in the morning. You consider it all examining the red velvet stuck under your thumbnail Maybe you're looking for a file or a prison shank sunk beneath the frosting Or maybe you just need to make this a Night The Night of the Cake It'll blend in with the others in a matter of time But for a few weeks you'll look back and remember you are a member of those romanticized ranks those plastic or terracotta statues Tomorrow you will feed the dog. And after work you will pick up groceries. And after groceries you will pay your bills. But tonight is the Night of Cake. Tonight you become a stereotype An unforgiving consumer with chocolate-stained hands.
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Aug 10, 2014
Aug 10, 2014 at 1:33 AM UTC
The Night of the Cake
They enter the café just as some sappy pop song is playing They order then immediately hug Embrace Swaying to one side, together, like the wind Encircling the leaning tower of Pisa Then teetering to the other solstice Foot to foot, smile to smile, hand round skirted waist Forearm resting on his tall  blazered shoulders This is forgivable in the young Those teeny-boppers with defiant hair-cuts and posters However, he has peppered hair She, though voluptuous and tanned, Must be in her 30s. “Affair.” My cynical devil snickers, between sips But I sit mesmerized, and for the first time ever Envious. The chairs and the tables somehow seem more distant The song  now sounds as if it’s funneled through some crackling phonograph The very light disentangles itself from stones It’s as if a sky has opened up in my chest Flying high overhead,  one lone raven, Its slow shadow Gliding across my heart Oh, how I miss you 5 states away I see your smile on magazine covers I vaguely sniff your scent on passing women Yet you remain elusive - immaterial, haunting,   While this visceral assault Leaves me bewildered - empty An echo in a chiaroscuro cavern   Fading for thee
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Jul 28, 2016
Jul 28, 2016 at 5:31 PM UTC
Letters from N.M.
Have you heard of the gardens clandestines grow? The neighbors have, although until today the gardens were usual, not a pastime no one would seriously guess. The flowers are conceptual homonyms bordered by Boxwood africans no breadwinning cardinal would bless with its roost.                          Grass beneath a golden ninebark is slightly depressed where some pistol was. For the past few years the neighbors have wondered daily What the hell is it this guy does? What, with him always vaguely mumbling "...lots of business trips." It's dark now, blood spatter coagulates on the picket fence.                                                                                          Four tire streaks on the road, the responding policemen kept it hushed, speaking in code to disembodied voices on a radio. Not much more than a glance and shrug at the neighbors' concerned inquiries. One consensus formed: he was deep in consequences from promises he couldn't keep. This was speculative, of course.                                                          The palm trees rustled above their heads. "Maybe he was a clandestine," one of the neighbors remarked as another dismissively barked, "Ridiculous! He kept a garden!"
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Jul 18, 2013
Jul 18, 2013 at 10:26 PM UTC
A Suburban Shootout